Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Fanfic Challenge Challenge: Boring Fanfics

LOL! Thanks, Dave - cheque's in the mail.

You couldn't. <g> Choosing a non-gender-specific nick inevitably means on occasion you're going to be mistaken for the wrong gender. That's my problem, no one else's. If I wanted to ensure it didn't happen, it'd be on me to make sure I used a gender specific nick.

LabRat

People thought I was a boy for a while.

Thanks for the for the paragraph. HEHE.

Lois Lane settled down in her hiding place, waiting for the meeting between the two crime bosses to begin. After while she fell asleep. When she woke up it was morning and everything was over.

The End.

Nan

Nan, given your talent for complicated A-plots and closed mysteries, that was funny.

You should call these Tranq endings...as in, they are so boring they'll tranquilize you....

And I could go on, but I think that's enough.

~Toc

Toc, I don't know what category this falls in, but I absolutely love it!!

Maybe you should consider entering that 'Dark and Stormy Night' competition... I can't remember its name, but somebody else might.

See ya,
AnnaBtG.

My first thought was....being concerned over the lack of stars that could happen on a clear night in New Jersey. I'd be sad w/o stars.

Then I realized I am overtired and that was a lame thought and should go to bed.

G. Night.

"Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the grand opening of the new city courthouse! I'm pleased that you could all be present for this historic event."

Lois yawned and leaned over the armrest to look at Clark's watch. "Only 3:05," she muttered. "How long do you think he'll keep talking?"

"Probably until they forcibly remove him from office. In 2008."

"Our previous courthouse was a landmark of the city, serving for 200 years as the center of all legal events in Metropolis. Regrettably, last year's fire destroyed that building and forced us to consider where and how to rebuild such an important building."

"He managed to use the word 'build' three times in a single sentence, Clark! Don't mayors have speech editors or something?"

"Since my election as mayor, I have been dedicated to improving Metropolis in every possible way without increasing taxes. We've seen new hospitals, schools, government buildings, and public services opening all over the city. We've seen roads being built and repaired. We've seen more jobs being created."

Lois gave him a fierce glare. "Plus higher crime rates, *higher* taxes, and more government officials taking bribes."

"Hush," Clark said, trying to suppress a grin.

"Oh, like you couldn't hear him over me if you really wanted to."

"Actually, I'm trying to block him--and you--out so I can listen to a TV show in the next apartment building."

She gave him a hrrmph and folded her arms across her chest.

"You're seeing your tax dollars at work today, citizens of Metropolis! This courthouse will allow you to complete legal processes, from changing your name to filing for bankruptcy or divorce! It will allow you to stand trial for offenses, and to sue when your rights as citizens have been trampled upon! It will preserve your rights as citizens of this fair country! In fact, it will also be used as a polling station during our next election so that citizens living in the center of Metropolis will no longer have to go as far as the police station to exercise their rights as citizens!"

"Citizens, four times," Lois said. At a glare from Clark, she mimed zipping her lips.

"Courthouses are one of the most important buildings you can find in this city or any other. Courthouses are a direct symbol of our government and how it works for us. Today, thanks to your tax dollars and our local government contractors, we have a new courthouse! And now, please welcome our honored guest, Superman, who will be doing the honors of cutting the ribbon!"

Lois turned to Clark, who was slumped in his chair, softly snoring. A tiny dribble of drool ran down his chin.

"Uh, Clark," she whispered, shoving at him. "You're supposed to be doing ribbon-cutting."

"Oh, right," he said, ducking under his chair as if to grab a dropped pen, then scurrying out of sight and reappearing at the edge of the stage.

"Congratulations on your new courthouse, Metropolis," he said, cutting the red ribbon in front of the courthouse doors.

"Gee, odd, that," Lois whispered, knowing he would hear her. "I would have expected a stream of excited citizens rushing in to file bankruptcy, or divorce, or change their names. Or something.

"That's the problem with courts. They're... boring."

Hehe!

See ya,
AnnaBtG.

Ticandtoc: That was hysterical! Poor, poor New Jersey! Susan

Thanks!

I've got seven pages of that stuff. I was er, bored... one night and was trying to write the worst, most boring, badfic version of Clark's arrival on earth.

I call it something like How It All Began (The Babble Version). The whole thing's full of useless repetition, completely irrelevant information, and absolutely no conversation.

~Toc

Seven pages of absolutely no conversation, Janet? I can beat you on that one. I think CC counted eleven pages...


Wendy

I'm dying to see this badfic, Toc! Seriously!!

See ya,
AnnaBtG.

Okay, you asked for it! I just posted it in the fanfic folder, and I'm dedicating it you, AnnaBtG.

I never thought this little... diversion would see the light of day
but I'm happy you want to see it.

~Toc

Meerkat I liked your take.

Oh I wish I had superpowers sometimes. What a great escape at times like these.

Yet even listening to TV still could not end the snore fest.
Good job.

TLAT

*steps into view*

boring? Oooo! I can do boring! And tedious! And there's a good chance of bad!ficness(as you can tell in my butchering of grammar and spelling)!

--

Lois Lane, award-winning journalist, stood in line at the grocery store. It was currently the only one open, and it had taken her fifteen minutes to be next in line. Of course, the little old lady in front of her proved to resemble the stereotypes Lois tried to avoid with her hunched shoulders, glasses secured to her neck with a thin strand of beads, and purse clutched to her chest.

And oh yeah, the several dozen cans of animal food crowding the counter.

The cashier began to slide the cans over the scanner one at a time, the assembly too cluttered and assorted to simply count and divide.

beep

beep

beep

There was a pause as the cashier couldn't get one of the bar codes to be read by the machine, so she had to manually type in the UPC code.

Finally it went through with a resounding beep.

beep

beep

beep

Turning to the magazines that lined the endcap, Lois picked up one of the tabloid rags. The headlines SUPERMAN HAVING TORRIDAFFAIR WITH ELVIS' ALIEN DAUGHTER made her grimace. Last week he’d been having an affair with her. The week before that it was Bigfoot.

Placing the rag back in place she picked up the TV Guide.

Hmmm. What’s playing on tv this week? Thumbing through she found an ad for some new series about housewives. Peering close at the tall brunette in the picture promoting the show, she wondered how Clark would take it if she grew her hair out like that.

Paging through some more, she noticed that the SciFi channel was having a movie marathon. Reading through the titles she noticed they were mostly the poorly made ‘Mutated Spider Takes Over Hong Kong’ types of movies. They were entertaining enough to watch if one was bored. In fact, just the other day she had watched one about a snake in an Antarctic prison. Granted, she would normally have turned the channel after the first fifteen minutes, but there was something about the main character.

Sighing, Lois put the Guide back and checked on the status of the pet food. The cashier was almost done, and Lois set out her own soon-to-be purchases. Toothpaste, deodorant, a couple books, pens. More stuff followed by food. Junk food for Clark, healthy food for her, and a happy medium for them.

And cheese.

However, the little old lady was not done. Pulling out a jar of coins that had been hidden in the cart, she began to count out the amount of money needed.

Groaning, Lois removed her never-would-be purchases from the belt and handed the basket to the cashier. “I’m going to be late for work.”

Walking out of the store, she called her husband. Forty seconds later they were in their room.

After her little adventure, she needed to play hooky.

--

Outside the store, the little old lady cackled evilly.


Soo, did you drool from boredom? DO I need to try harder?

Was it too short?

That was fun, Catherine!

See ya,
AnnaBtG.