Last time...
“I make my own life decisions,” she said firmly. “And I’ve decided to love you forever. If they have a problem with that, it’s their problem.”
“Forever?”
“Oh. Did I say… forever?” She flushed pink. “I meant… well – as long as this lasts…” My god. Talk about being pushy!
”Lois. Forever – it works for me too.” His voice was gentle as he saw her embarrassment.
She looked up, and gave him a slow smile that made his own heart skip a few beats.
“What about the rest of the world,” she said. “Is it time to go public?”
“I wouldn’t complain. The only question I have for you is – will you be introducing me as your boyfriend? Or … your fiancé?”
Part 61...
Silent. She’s too silent. Why isn’t she saying anything? Silent isn’t good. Not in this case. Silent is –
“Was that a proposal,” she gasped, after she had recovered her voice.
He winced. This is worse. Silence followed by confusion. Did she deliberately misunderstand?
“Uh… not a very good one. I guess I should have a ring – and – uh –moonlight… better surroundings - ”
“No – I didn’t mean that… Clark – are you seriously asking me to marry you?”
When she says it like that, it almost sounds like I’m crazy for even thinking it.
“I wasn’t going to – not for a while yet – not until I felt like you might be … not adverse to the idea… but when you said ‘forever’ and then, felt like you had said too much, I realized that maybe now was the right time.”
“Oh my god.”
This is definitely bad.
“Or. I could be wrong.”
“No. I don’t mean that in a bad way. I mean – oh… my god… I – of course- I want forever with you, Clark – it’s just that – I’m so used to being a certain way – hiding our relationship from the world… and… then there’s the whole ‘Lois Lane won’t get married’ mentality that I’ve carried around most of my life… this is just…”
She hasn’t said no yet, and she did mention forever again…
“Shifting your perspective again?”
“You seem to do that to me. A lot.”
Is that good? Bad? What? Lois - help! I don’t know what do say or do. I’m really confused. Is this leftover from the Kryptonite, or is it leftover from the brain-fog she put me in this morning with her wake-up call?
“Sorry?”
“No. No apologies. Clark. You know that I love you. You know that I always will. And – the next logical step for us would be marriage… I know that – “
Logic is bad. Very very bad. She said that those Kryptonians prided themselves on making logic-based decisions, although it sounds more like they made evil-based decisions… but what do I know? I don’t know anything. My brain took a vacation this morning, and it clearly isn’t planning on returning any time soon. Logic? Screw logic!
“Screw logic,” he said, his voice husky with the emotions he was now feeling. “I don’t live my life that way. I’m talking about feelings. Emotions. Real, and raw. I love you. I don’t ever want to live my life without you. And that’s why it seems ‘right’ to ask you this now.”
She looked at him, on the verge of tears. “You said the right things again, Clark.”
“So… what do you think? Marry me, live a life of happiness and never ever ever being left alone by the press?” He winced as he said this. “Sorry. I – I know that you spent three years not having any real privacy – I didn’t mean – “
“I didn’t take it that way,” she smiled gently. “Though your comment about the press… I mean – I am the press!”
He grinned. “Well, I insulted myself then, too.”
“We can easily handle them,” she said. “We know all their tricks. And while many of our brethren might actually hate me… they all love you… so I think it’ll balance okay in the end.”
“They don’t hate you, Lois.”
“I could list at least 10 reporters who do.”
“Okay… but not all of them.”
“Well… Maybe not the new ones. The ones who don’t know any better, yet.”
“Actually, I was thinking of Cat.”
”Oh – now, that’s a definite. Cat cannot stand me. Not one iota!”
“I don’t think that’s really true. I think that she’s always seen you as a rival…and I think she knows you … really don’t have a lot of respect for her… but I don’t think she hates you.”
“Do you like her?”
Oh god. Please let this not be a trick question.
“I like her. She’s a very smart woman, an excellent reporter, and – “
“She’s not a reporter. She’s a gossip columnist.”
“That’s not the easiest job in the world. One thing about Cat – she won’t ever print things just for sensationalism sake. She won’t imply there’s something going on somewhere unless she really believes it. I admire that – because a lot of people in her type of job don’t do that. “
“You just like her because she gives you a break and doesn’t speculate about your love-life in her column.”
“Until you, there was no need for speculation. She hasn’t been writing about us, and after my visit to the office – you’d think she would be relatively convinced that there was something at least, going on.”
“Well – maybe …”
“So why didn’t she write about us?”
“Because of how she feels about you. She admires you too much to do that.”
“And what about how she feels about you? She never hassled you even though you had that mysterious disappearance, reappearance, disappearance…”
“Well. Maybe. I guess… maybe we could give her the exclusive. Does that sound good to you?”
“Exclusive on what?”
“Our getting married, silly.”
“My god! Was that a yes,” he asked, clearly in shock.
“Yes,” she said, smiling shyly, as she tilted her head a bit so she could look up at him and really make eye contact. She squealed suddenly as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. He gave her a long and loving kiss, and when he released her, she could see the joy that her answer had given him reflected in his eyes.
“Wow. Now, you see… that… that is a great way to convince a woman to spend her life with you.”
He shook his head. “This is too much.”
“No. It’s just right,” she corrected gently. “But I want to get this story done. Do you want to come with me, and we can talk to Cat today? Or – do you want to wait on that?”
“What do you want to do?”
Suddenly, she felt shy. “God – I don’t know. I - I… “
“How about we wait. One major story at a time, okay? We’ll set up a meeting with Cat – maybe have her meet us someplace less… open.”
“Sounds like a plan,” she said. “I’ll – I guess I’ll see you tonight… I can’t wait,” she said, her voice suddenly shy. “I’m really looking forward to it.”
“Me too,” he said, as he drew her close for another one of his soul-destroying kisses.
When the kiss ended, she looked at him and said reluctantly that she had to get to work.
“Want a lift,” he asked, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.
“It’s okay. I have my car, and it’s just easier this way. But don’t think I won’t be asking for lifts to get places… in fact… I can see how dating you will be very good for my career.”
“Lois… are you sure you don’t just love me for my ability to get you to a story before anyone else?”
“Would you do that?”
“Sometimes. But of course – sometimes it won’t be possible – like when I’m part of the story.”
“I’m only interested in stories that you’re a part of,” she murmured.
He laughed. “You’d be limiting your career if you only reported stories involving me. But you know – I’m glad to give you a lift whenever you want. Drive safe, okay?”
“Will do!”
Later, as she struggled to find a parking spot, she found herself mentally cursing herself for not having taken him up on his offer. But she finally found a spot, very close to the entrance of the Daily Planet building. She quickly exited her car, and rushed as fast as she could into the building, remembering all of a sudden that she was ‘news’ right now, and could very well be mobbed by reporters wanting to talk to her about the whole traumatic ordeal. Not on your life – this is MY story.
Gleefully she made her way to the office, feeling that smug sense of joy that she always felt when she knew she’d scooped everyone else. This is one of the hardest stories I ever won. The price was nearly too high. That thought sobered her, and when she entered the newsroom, her gleeful expression had been replaced by a much more sober and introspective one.
So lost in her own thoughts, she didn’t really see the curious looks of her coworkers. Curious was an understatement, but Lois still had this ‘keep-away’ aura about her that intimidated many – people weren’t so much afraid of her, as perplexed by her – since returning from the dead, she was a different woman. Because they were colleagues, on the same paper, they didn’t rush her and demand to know the details.
She made her way to her desk and plugged in her laptop. She typed furiously for about 25 minutes, and then, she hit the submit button. Her story was now in, and she could relax and think about more important things. Oh god, Lane. Used to be your job was the most important thing in the world. What have you become?
A smile tugged it’s way on her mouth, and before she knew it, she was trying to hold back the wide-open grin that came whenever she thought of Clark, and the way he held her, and spoke to her. As luck would have it, Cat happened to look up and got caught up in the nimbus of that smile.
That girl is in love. And I’m guessing I know with whom. But… fine good that’ll do me. I can’t put him in my column without his permission. Not to my good friend.
Sighing in anticipation of defeat, she walked over to Lois’s desk. Maybe she’ll give me something.
“Hi Lois. “
“Cat. Hi. How are you?”
Cat blinked a little at the unexpected politeness of Lois’s response. She had honestly expected Lois to raise up defensive hands, and say “Not now, Cat.”
“Fine. Fine. And… I can see you’re fine too,” she said, regretting the words as they spilled out. Damn. This is not the way to get her to loosen up around me.
“What do you mean?”
Where’s the rancor? Where’s the distrust?
“I mean … you’re alive. You almost weren’t, from what I hear. You stopped a very frightening and powerful man from taking over the world… from what I hear. Clark’s clone? And then… Luthor? That must have been something else. He turned out to be this … this… villain!”
“Well, it’s all in my story, Cat. It’ll be – “
“I’m not trying to scoop you,” she said quickly. “I’m sorry. I was just…trying to say … thanks. Thanks for saving the world,” she said, and then, she laughed in self-mockery at how stupid that sounded.
Lois smiled. “Your welcome. I had a lot of help. But … you’re welcome.” She shuddered. “I’m so glad it’s over.”
“I’ll bet. I can’t wait to read the story. Uh. If you don’t mind my asking… how… is… er… how’s Clark?”
Lois looked at her directly, and paused, deep in thought. Clever, Cat. Trying to figure out if I’ve seen Clark since the ordeal.
“He’s fine,” she said. “Back to normal. Normal for Clark, that is.”
“Which… is…Super?”
“Yup.”
“Oh good. What a relief. I – I mean – the fact that Lex Luthor almost killed him – seems so ridiculously impossible. And yet… it happened. And he was nearly … you saved Superman!”
“I owed him one. At least one. Several! At least.”
“I’m sure he doesn’t see it that way.”
“No. He doesn’t.”
“So… he’s… he’s fine, then. So – you’ve seen him?”
Lois sighed. “Cat.”
“I know, I know – leave you alone. I’m sorry, Lois – this is kind of my job. Normally, for anyone else, I’d be going in like a … a… “
“Mad-dog?”
She grinned, despite her frustration. “Yeah.”
“I know. I appreciate your restraint.”
“Well. So… “
“Cat, I wasn’t going to ask you to leave me alone. I promise, when there is news to publish, you will get the exclusive. Okay?”
“Really?”
“Yes. “
“Any idea… when that might be?”
That smile that had drawn Cat over reappeared on Lois’s face, and she looked down, flushing pink.
“My god. I’m never going to be able to play poker again,” she muttered to herself.
“You never really could, Lois – you always wore your feelings in your eyes.”
“True enough.”
“I’m guessing I’ll be talking to you soon…”
“Please don’t speculate just now. I need to talk to other people – family – “ she said, hastily as she saw the rising look of indignation. “Look, Cat, of course I want the daily planet to get any exclusives it can…”
“Right. The Planet.”
“Clark admires you, Cat. And he thinks you’re a fine reporter. You are his choice for exclusives on his private life. It’s just… “
“I’m not your choice.”
“We aren’t exactly the best of friends,” she said, wincing at how harsh it sounded. “But – you do have a certain drive that seem very… uh… familiar to me. Maybe that’s why we always seem at loggerheads. Too much alike in our approach to work. But I’m happy to… give you whatever exclusive feels right to give – when there’s an exclusive to give, that is.”
“You should write children’s books – you’re starting to sound like Dr. Seuss.”
Lois laughed at that, feeling a sense of lightness at having halfway revealed that there was something going on between her and Clark.
“Listen, Cat. Let’s just leave it at this – an exclusive is forthcoming. Really forthcoming. But I can’t let my family read about my life in the paper. They deserve to know things before it hits the news-stands. I told them all about what happened with the clone and Lex Luthor, so even my story will be old news to them. Okay?”
“Okay. And… I’ll leave you alone now… but I did want to say… if I’m correct about what’s going on in your personal life… I’m happy for you. And for him. And I wish you all the best.”
“Thanks, Cat.”
“And… I’m jealous as hell… but – since he’s not interested in me… I’ll be big about it!”
“That’s good to know,” she countered with a smile.
After Cat walked away, Lois looked down, and forced herself to tackle the items in her inbox. It was going to be a very… very… long… day.
Later, that evening, she knocked on the door, dressed to knock him off his feet. He opened the door, and she thought again, for the millionth time that it wasn’t fair for a man to look as good as he did.
“God… Lois…” He didn’t even bother to hide his sensual appreciation of how good she looked. “You really are trying to kill me, aren’t you?”
She grinned up at him, as he closed the door behind her. He used to be afraid to give me compliments. He used to be afraid to close the door. I used to be afraid the first time I saw him after any kind of separation. Look at us now. Giddy, and crazily in love.
“It’s only fair, when you consider what you do to me,” she countered.
He pulled her close, and gave her a hungry and passionate kiss that took her breath completely away. Drawing back slightly, but not releasing her, he asked her the question that had been on his mind the entire day.
“Are you staying?”
She blushed, and ducked her head. After all we’ve shared, this shouldn’t make me feel so shy. And yet… I do feel that way sometimes.
“Yeah,” she whispered. “I’m staying.” Awkwardly, she held up her overnight bag, with a smile. “See? All packed and everything.”
His arms tightened around her again. He felt a sudden surge of remorse and insecurity about her reasons for staying. Did she feel pressured? She had asked me to take control of things once in a while, and I’m doing that – now… and does she feel bullied? Not so much because she’s afraid of what I’d do if she said no – but… because she doesn’t want to hurt me? The urge to let her off the hook, if she needed to be let off the hook was overpowering.
“Lois. Please – only stay if you want to, okay? And even then – we don’t have to – “
“Shh,” she said, forestalling him. “Don’t. I promise – I won’t ever … endure … intimacy. I – I’ll let you know if I need space, or if I’m uncomfortable or afraid. Okay? I – I really like that you told me what you wanted. It’s thrilling, in a very sexy way, when you … show me – your … passionate feelings.”
“Just let me know if I ever… make you feel – cornered or anything. Okay?”
“Deal! So… what’s for dinner! I’m ravenous!” She stopped, and blushed.
“Me too… wanna skip dinner?”
“Hey! I’m hungry for food! And you know – the way to a woman’s heart…”
“Dinner is actually ready. Would you believe that?”
“Hmm… believe that you might have had dinner ready so that we could move onto other activities all that much quicker?”
“Come on, Lois – I would never plan something like that.” The teasing note in his voice told her that she had been right on the money.
She laughed at their easy silliness. She’d never had a relationship with this kind of feeling of happiness and passion all mixed in together. She’d never really let anyone see the real her… and now, she felt so liberated. She was very nervous about what was to come, but this kind of bantering kept her in the moment, and she was really able to enjoy herself and her interactions with him. It was obvious to her that he was nervous too, and as expected, that gave her comfort.
Soon, dinner was ready, and after she took her first forkful, she looked at him with a glimmer of humor in her eyes.
“You really are trying to get me to gain some weight aren’t you? You like softer curves, perhaps?”
“I love you however you are,” he said warmly. “Don’t think that you ever have to look a certain way to be beautiful.”
“You’re just so good at this cooking thing.”
“Thanks, Lois. Anything for you.”
She smiled, feeling suddenly shy again.
“This feels kind of weird,” she confessed quietly. “Knowing that I’m staying – and knowing that – that this could lead…”
“Lois. You know – I’ve been doing a lot of thinking… you know… we’re getting married… so why not just… wait until we get married?”
Her heart started beating faster. But that puts so much pressure on the wedding night!
“So wait until our wedding night?”
“Or after our wedding night – if you aren’t ready. But not before our wedding night. What do you think?”
“But… but why? I mean – really – if I weren’t afraid – would you want to wait?”
“It’s hard to really say. But – I’m guessing no. I wouldn’t.” He saw her flush, and felt badly for his honesty. “Lois… I want you – that’s true… but if we decide to wait – then that gives us more freedom to move forward in – discovering each other – without it being scary. I know that even kissing can trigger flashbacks, memories of pain and horror – feelings of being trapped… and I’m not naïve – I know that because we’ve been spectacularly close and it hasn’t upset you, that sometimes even a more casual contact might not make you remember things… this gives that added sense of safety- at least… I hope…”
“Oh… Clark – I know I’m safe with you. It’s not that I ever think you’ll act in an unpleasant way – it’s just…”
“Well – I know that I told you that I felt like I was losing control – that day in your apartment. I still know that I will feel that way again – but I also know that I’ll stop for you. But how well can you really know that? I know that I seem – more like him – when I’m – “
“Not seem! It’s more – just… your eyes… I see that … fire, I guess – oh – bad choice of words… not like heat-vision, getting branded – I mean – the desire… and it makes me really nervous – but – you never really seem like Lord Kal. I don’t want you to think you do.”
“That’s a huge relief to hear.”
”And yes – you’re right – I won’t know what will trigger me. Honestly,” she said, giving him a hesitant look. “I am glad you suggested waiting… and I – I’d like to do that. I – I hope I’m ready for our wedding night – but – mostly – it’ll be good to just – “
“Drive each other crazy for a few months?”
“Yeah,” she smiled shyly. “Uh… How many months?”
“As many as you want… remembering of course that you don’t have to do anything when the day comes, either. Lois- I want us to be forever – and you can’t have a loving relationship that lasts forever if one person bullies the other into intimacy. “
“Oh… I know,” she said. “I just…” Her brow furrowed, as she thought about it. I can’t disappoint him on the night of our wedding. I simply can’t. I’m going to have to be able to go through with it regardless of what he says. He’s being so patient and generous, how dare I disappoint him?
He saw that look in her eyes and realized she was putting pressure on herself.
”Lois. I didn’t suggest this to make things worse for you.”
“Were… you weren’t reading my mind?”
“No. Of course not,” he said quietly. “You had ‘that look’ on your face. The one I’ve encountered before. ”
“Ah. Seeing through me without the use of super-powers. Can’t fault you for that,” she said, feeling foolish.
“You can see through me too. It’s kind of how this works.”
“I’ll be okay, Clark. But yes – you know that I won’t want our wedding night to be anything but perfect… but don’t worry. I won’t ever… bully you into intimacy either. That is… I won’t try to … um… fake… readiness, if it’s not there… because then – you’d be pretty scarred as well. I wouldn’t want to do that to you.”
“Thanks, Lois,” he said, gently.
She looked down, suddenly embarrassed. “So… now what?”
“I don’t suppose you would like to dance?”
Her heart turned a genuine somersault deep in her chest. She remembered how they had danced on their last date – how intimidating and scary the idea had seemed, and how wonderful and overpowering it had actually been. Her breath caught, as he stood up and moved over to where she still sat. Like before, he held out his hand gallantly.
She smiled. The music had been playing all along, instrumental piano – unobtrusive and very romantic.
“Oh. Yes. I think I’d like that very much.”
His eyes were definitely burning with intensity and emotion, and she answered that look with one of her own. He pulled her in close, and brought his arms around her, and they started their slow dance without any of the fear or awkwardness that had plagued her before.
The feeling of his body moving so closely against hers was driving her crazy, and if she was any judge of these matters at all, it was obvious that he felt the same way. After long moments of dancing like that, she pressed a loving kiss onto his collarbone. She smiled as she felt him stiffen. He looked down at her, and saw the open and inviting love in her eyes, and without even really being aware of it, tightened his arms feverishly around her back and drew her in for a kiss.
He kissed her with hungry passion. He wasn’t holding back anything anymore – he was giving her the full blast of his feelings for her – both emotional and physical, trusting in her to not be frightened by her own feelings of fear… and trusting that she would share with him if it got to be too much. One kiss led to another, and then another, and it seemed as if they couldn’t get close enough to each other. Her hands wove wildly through his hair as she sought to intensify the already intense contact between them.
She gasped against his mouth as she felt the ground leave her feet. He had effortlessly slipped an arm from around her waist so that he was able to scoop her into his arms. He continued to kiss her in that same devastatingly passionate way as he walked towards his bedroom.
We’re skipping the couch entirely! Her mind raced as she processed this bit of information. It’s not like he didn’t say that this is what he had in mind! Should I be scared – should I ask him to slow down – oh … god… when he does that with his mouth… I can’t even… think… straight.
