The story so far...
"Lois, can we talk?" Clark asked, nervously fiddling with his remote. "I need you to try not to get mad. I want to tell you that Perry has decided to partner us for the story on the polygamous religious cult."
"Polygamous religious cult?" Lois exclaimed."What kind of person would... Look, we're engaged for Elvis' sake!
"But we'd need another spouse"
"Ralph, I'd quit while ahead!!!" Jimmy snapped at Ralph who grunted and turned away hastily.
"How about Cat?" suggested Clark.
"No," Lois snapped. "No way."
Jimmy and Ralph looked at each other competitively. "what about me!" they both shouted simultaneously.
Lois gave Ralph a disgusting snort, dragging Jimmy over to Clark.
"Jimmy's.... well... Jimmy. Do you think he'll do?" she asked.
"I'll do fine." Jimmy winked at Clark. "Besides," he said, "I look good in skirts."
"Elvis wore skirts for charity once" Perry said, as he entered the room with his top lead. "Explosion on Clinton Street!"
"What? Clinton street?" Lois rushed, "No! My fish! My novel!"
"Relax, it's a long street," Clark called out, running behind her.
"You're living at Clark's?" Ralph's suspicious voice followed as they rushed out of the newsroom.
"Lois, honey! Wait!" Clark exclaimed, racing after his little tornado. Their friends were left wondering who's gonna be the lucky third wheel.
Jimmy fervently wished that he hadn't mentioned skirts, however comfortable they may be, because Perry was eyeing him strangely, and humming.
Lois ran all the way between the elevator and the jeep. Clark caught up with her and scooped her up in his arms and opened the door to the supply closet.
"Clark, now is not the--" She gasped when she saw his face sway towards hers.
"Now is especially the time!" Clark interjected, placing a kiss on her lips. "If you want Jimmy in this, we have room. I'll move cartons out of this supply closet."
" Shut-up and Kiss me, Lunk-head!"
"Lois? CK?" They heard Jimmy gasp outside the closet door. "I'm in this too, remember?"
"I'm not kissing Jimmy!" Clark said wryly between kisses. "You're the one who suggested him!"
"Oops, my bad," muttered Perry.
Lois went red like a tomato as Perry opened the door.
"Ummm... Perry! We're just discussing..."
Jimmy stopped unbuttoning his shirt. "Rats. My big opportunity wasted!" He froze. "Hey...This closet has a bomb in it!"
"Quick, everybody out!" Clark screamed pushing everyone out except Lois, after sitting on the bomb.
'Pop!' The bomb went out.
"Great shades of Elvis!" gasped Perry.
"How's the seat of your pants?" Lois asked, winking.
"It was just a cracker, wasn't it, son?" Perry asked.
"Well, i guess the truth is that Lois' rumaki always gives me... umm... stomach upset."
"So who could be behind this?" Perry was not fooled.
Lois and Clark pointed at the bomb fragments. "Call Henderson!"
At Perry and Jimmy's astonished expressions, Henderson suddenly burst in.
"Are you *Superman* or telepathic?"
"Neither. Someone phoned-in a tip that you are behind this!"
"Me?" Lois asked, outraged, "How did they find out I'd stored crackers in this closet?"
"Your apartment told us. Firemen rescuing your fish discovered that there were traces of radioactive materials in your kitchen."
Clark smirked, "Have you ever tried Lois' cooking?"
Jimmy stifled a laugh. "Lois' cooking gives CK collywobbles!"
Lois ignored him. "Henderson, are my fish safe? Plants?"
"Yes, but aren't you interested in knowing what we found earlier?"
"Enlighten me," snapped Lois.
"We found this!" Henderson showed Lois a dead cockroach glowing a sickly shade of green.
Clark immediately started coughing and doubled over. "It's my asthma," he tried to cover. Lois helped Clark into a chair. "Cockroach," Clark whispered to Lois.
"'Cockroach'!? What happened to 'Tornado'?"
"Not you, nitwit! Henderson is holding a kryptonite-infested roach he discovered in your kitchen!"
"Crap," thought Lois. "My secret stash to use in an emergency."
Henderson looked at her quizzically, debating whether to speak when the green cockroach turned red.
"Good thing my apartment exploded!"
"What?!" Four astonished faces turned toward the cockroach, who had suddenly spread its green wings.
"It's alive again?! Neat trick!"
Suddenly, Lois grabbed the critter and thrust it into Clark's pants pocket.
"What the hell Lois! I had no idea that you were so against me!" Clark wailed clutching his groin.
"What about children? Utopia??"
"Tempus made it sound boring, so I thought I'd just..."
"What?? Nuke my little swimmers?!"
"Lois! Clark! Stop this!" Perry commanded, pulling off Clark's trousers.
"What's with the spandex, CK?" asked Jimmy, eyeing Clark's legs.
"They're just my new longjohns."
