Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Fanfic Challenge 100 Ways to Kill Superman

How about this for a substitution...

93. Superman fights and accidently kills Chuck Norris. He feels so bad, he hangs up his red cape forever.

Does that work for you?

Although, isn't Chuck Norris supposed to be a good guy? Why would Superman fight him? Again, I send this to our fine MouseRocks judge.

Works for me!

I say it works. For backstory, what if Chuck Norris is so insistent on fighting Superman. He becomes incredibly annoying about it, going to all lengths to make it known to the world that he wants to fight the hero. Between his pestering and the always-irritating, never-ending Chuck Norris jokes, Superman breaks down and gives him what he wants... and as a result, we get #93.

By the way, DC, just so you know it's nothing personal. I just checked for that commercial online and it did make me laugh. I guess I just OD'd on Chuck Norris jokes when some friends of mine wouldn't give it up...

No offense taken. Sometimes things are way funnier in my head than they are to everyone else.

94. Jor-El didn't do a good job of shielding baby Kal's ship. It burns up as it enters the Earth's atmosphere, killing Kal before he ever lands.

95. Dr. Klein has isolated and synthesized a compound in Superman's blood that releases tremendous amounts of stored energy from his cells. While explaining this discovery he accidentally knocks a beaker of it onto Clark. Star Labs melts.

96) Constance - the illusionist - gets Superman under hypnosis and commands him to kill himself.

97) Clark gets vulnerable after an encounter with Kryptonite and suffers an accident. He loses too much blood and needs an emergency transfusion. As the doctors don't know his blood type, they use O blood (universal). When his powers return he has an acute reaction and dies.

98) After years of exposure to Kryptonite Superman develops cancer from accumulated K-radiation.

On #96- You may want to identify which Constance. Initially I was wondering "why would a lawyer want to put Superman under hypnosis (referring to Constance Hunter, his lawyer in 'Whine, Whine, Whine' instead of Constance the magician in 'Illusions of Grandeur')?"

On #98- Do you mean "years of exposure?" "Expositions" refers to the introduction of a storyline in writing.

You're right, I didn't remember the other Constance. I've edited it.

And sorry about the wrong word. My mistake. In Portuguese "exposition" and "exposure" are the same word ("exposição"). I've corrected it, too. Thank you.

99. Jimmy gives Clark a pan of marijuana brownies when Lois has rejected him yet again. He takes them back to the farm and hides in his treehouse eating the brownies. For some reason they seem to affect him. He leaves his treehouse and goes to Shuster's Field to collect the shining little pebbles he sees just below the surface. His body is found a week later with a huge pile of glowing green rocks piled next to his lifeless self.

... or, in short, Clark got stoned.

100. Tempus goes back in time and prevents Siegel and Shuster from ever meeting, thereby ensuring that there never is, nor ever will be, a Superman.

Joy,
Lynn

Nice work all!

I'm impressed! We've reached 100 ways! And by the way, Lynn, perfect- PERFECT- way to end it!

The Next 100...

101. - Superman attempts to give Diana Stride the memory wipe kiss and instead dies of Kryptonite poisoning.

102. - Clark tries to give Mayson the memory wipe kiss, Lois kills him by hitting him over the head with Kryptonite. (per Mouserocks)

103. - Clark accidently gives Lois the memory wipe kiss during their first kiss back after fixing the soul mate curse and Lois loses all her memories since he sent her on that wild goose chase to the Sewage Reclaimation Facility. So, not only does Lois not know that she's married to him, she also forgets that she loves him, that he's Superman, and least of all, that they are work partners. She does, on the other hand, remember that Clark is one annoying hick from Nowheresville and that she likes Lex Luthor. Clark (AKA Superman) dies of frustration.

104: Lois and Clark are unable to fix the curse put on their souls. This means that they can never consummate their marriage. Clark dies of frustration.

Woohoo! Super party 4 you both, for getting the ball rolling!

105. Lois & Clark consummate pre~curse. But instead of hurting her, it wipes Lois' memory... Clark dies of horror at what he's done & humiliation from the blackout sex rumors.

106. Clark goes to New Krypton. But because his body grew up under, and adapted itself to, the yellow sun of Earth, the red sun causes him to have an extreme allergic reaction that kills him.

107. Clark leaves for New Krypton. However, Tempus has tampered with the ship that will carry him there. It explodes after leaving the last reaches of the yellow sun, killing everyone aboard, including Clark.

108. Clark leaves for New Krypton. There is a Star Wars style spaceship battle between him and Nor. Clark loses and his ship explodes, killing him.

109. Tempus uses the time machine to travel to Krypton before it explodes. He convinces Jor-El and Lara that if they send their baby, Kal, to Earth, he will grow up to be an evil, god-like overlord. Unwilling to imperil Earth, they never send Kal in his ship, and he dies along with all of Krypton.

110. Clark goes to stop the Nightfall asteroid. However, he does not know that it is actually part of his exploded home planet. As he gets close, the Kryptonite core kills him. (Nightfall then strikes Earth and kills everyone else.)

Probably best if we have to live without him.