Clark picked up the phone and brought it to his ear.
"Clark Kent," he said, amiably.
A struggle could be heard along with grunts, smacking noises and tantilzing moans.
"Watch ya hand, doll! Don't you dare touch that! Grab this instead...That's good.... Just a little bit, then I'll get 'cha what you really want."
"Hello?? Clark Kent?" The distracted voice of his caller seemed distant as he spat to some unknown person. "Will you stop that! *I'm* talking to him!"
After a moment, he frowned in confusion. "Who is this?"
"Bobby Bigmouth. I don't think we've met yet but I have something of yours, or some 'one' of yours that I really don't know what to do with... Seems you've got a tiger by the tail here, bud. I don't think she's safe for public consumption," the caller said pointedly.
Something familiar was naggling at his brain... Lois?!
His shoulders tensed.
"How did you get this number?" he demanded.
"Your editor Perry, um, somebody or other... He had his hands full too. Although, I'm not sure what he ws seeing in that dame he was chasing around his office..."
He looked around the room, flustered. "Look," he began, "I really--"
"Now do you want her or not? I really hope you ate your Wheaties this morning, 'cause ya gonna need it, bub," Bobby said matter-of-factly.
He stilled.
"Listen, I stopped by the Planet today to collect my fee of peking duck... I'm a cook by trade and a snitch by night. At the moment, it seems like your little girlfriend here is about two slices short of a premium Chicago style pizza. But I was able to distract her with some prime chocolate I had on my person... Are ya following me so far?"
"Uh huh." Clark's head was spinning. What was going on the the Daily Planet? And Lois?
"She's saying that she's madly in love with you and that you love her too."
The frown deepened. "Well, yeah," he admitted.
"Someone tried to spray me with some love concoction but I ducked. What do you know about it?"
He sighed. "That's not real," he protested. "It's completely fiction."
"Clark!" he heard Lois moan. "I love you! Make love to me! I want to kiss you and hug you and call you Superman!!!!"
Clark gave the handset a dubious look, then brought it back up to his ear. "So you say," he said.
After much shuffling, Bobby had gained control of the phone by now. "Do you believe me now? This doll's gots the serious hots for ya. It was all I could do to get her covered up with something I found on your coat rack and brought her here by public bus."
His eyebrows raised as he listened. "But how?" Public bus?
"I don't know how or what ya gonna do with her but I'm starving. You owe me one for this, Kent."
He glanced out the door, lowering his glasses as he peered outside. There was Lois dropping this large trench coat on his porch and doing the dance of the Seven Vails?
"I...uh...um.." he stammered. He pushed his glasses back up with one finger. "All right," he said, and immediately hung up the phone.
Terrific!
