end of pt 8 again:
He entered the newsroom again and heard Ralph proclaiming loudly to one of his colleagues, “She’s a real bitch, I tell you. Well, she’s not getting away with it this time!” He went back to his desk, then got up to go see Perry about the article he’d just sent him.
There had been a bit of overlap with Lois’ story, but Perry planned to edit that part out and run both of them in the afternoon edition. “I wondered where you’d gone. I may not like the way you do it, but you certainly cover the news.” He paused and went over to shut the door. “You know, son, Lois is mighty angry with you right now. I think you’d better try not to ripple the water so much for awhile. She’s ripping mad.”
Clark nodded, “I know Chief.”
“Ralph is threatening legal action. I guess she lambasted him at the vending machines.”
A whistle escaped Clark’s lips. He felt he should tell Perry about Lois’ upsetting discovery with Lex, but knew he had to keep what she’d told him to himself.
A Future for Us pt 9
Part 9
Clark was standing in his kitchen chopping up vegetables a few hours later. He’d changed into a grey t-shirt and some jogging pants. Music played in the background. His windows were open and the fresh smell of spring was in the air. He’d bought some flowers for his table, and the smell of the daisies reminded him of the farm where he’d spent so many happy days of his life. He’d tried to put Lois’ attitude toward him out of his mind, along with all the pain he’d dealt with earlier in the day. Putting his pan on low, he spun into his suit and left from the balcony.
He landed just outside the main Metropolis post office and pulled the door open. “Hello, Superman!” A child said, pulling on her mother’s hand to go see him.
“Hi there, what’s your name?” Clark said, going down on one knee in front of the little blond haired girl.
“Sally.” She said, holding out her teddy bear to him. “Teddy’s got a boo boo. Can you kiss it and make it better?”
“Sally, no,” her mother said, putting her hand out to pull the child’s arm back.
“It’s okay, ma’am,” he smiled at the mother. “I’ll kiss it better, where does it hurt?”
“Right here!” she said pointing to the bear’s foot.
Clark kissed the doll’s foot, patted the girl on the head, and stood up. “That should help!”
“Thank you, Superman,” she said, hugging his leg.
He smiled, feeling much better than he had for awhile, as he walked into the post office.
“Oh, hello, Superman. We’ve got a big bag of mail for you right here.” She stepped away from the counter and returned a moment later dragging a large bag behind her.
“Here, let me get that for you.” He reached over the counter and pulled it over as if it were as light as a feather.
A moment later he was landing on his balcony and depositing the bag in front of the couch.
He could smell the savory fragrance of dinner cooking, and went to lift the lid on the frying pan before spinning back into his clothes. He felt bad about Lois, but not bad enough to grovel to her anymore about where he’d been and why he hadn’t left her a note. When she calmed down, she’d be back to her normal self. Maybe she’d tell him what was eating at her tonight as Superman.
It was 7pm when he tapped against the glass of her living room window. “Hi Kal,” she said, not looking like she felt a whole lot better than she had during the day.
“Hi Lois, how was your day?” He took her in his arms and pressed his lips against hers.
She made a lopsided grin. “Don’t ask. I think I made more enemies today than I have in a long time.”
“Oh, not good.” He smiled at her. Her brown eyes were clouded over and she looked emotionally exhausted.
“Want to go flying before we go to my place to eat?”
She shrugged. “Okay, I guess so.”
“That doesn’t sound like you, Lois.” He swept her up in his arms and stepped up to the wide window sill, then lifted off into the sky.
The sun was low in the sky. The clouds were turning red on the tops. “Look over there,” he whispered in her ear. She followed his finger and saw a circular rainbow.
“Wow,” she breathed out slowly. “Is that ever beautiful!” They flew towards it for some time until the air began to feel damp. Rings of bright colours filled the sky in front of them.
“I feel like I can reach out and touch it!” she said. He smiled and breathed deeply of the fresh air.
“I used to try to do that. I tried to fly so fast I could just go through the center of it. It never worked, though. It was just a game I played with it. It made me feel like a dolphin jumping through a hoop or a ring of fire!”
Lois smiled, relaxing a bit more as she imagined him getting his cape tangled on the hoop and it bursting into flames. She chuckled. He looked down at her and smiled.
“Do you want to see where I go when I'm upset?”
She nodded. He turned to head north.
“If you stay very close to me, you shouldn’t get cold, but let me know if you do, Okay?”
“Okay,” she said with a trace of excitement in her voice.
“Oh look,” he said pointing down at the whiteness below them. “Here.” He dipped quickly down until Lois could see the outline of a polar bear ambling across snow-covered terrain. He hung in the air above it, searching the ground. “There, look below her, she’s got a cub!”
“Wow! That’s amazing!” Clark slowly circled the animals for awhile, staying high enough to be out of the bear’s peripheral vision, letting Lois get a good look at the animals and watch their behavior.
No men around there, she thought sardonically. Soon they were flying again. Finally they hovered just above the thick layer of snow. Clark kept his cape around her, watchful of whether she felt the cold at all. She didn’t seem to.
“Are you warm enough?”
“Toasty!” she responded.
“There’s the magnetic north pole,” he said, pointing out a flag she hadn’t seen. The whiteness spread around them, as far as she could see.
“Oops,” he said, levitating them upward. She could see another polar bear and hear the sound of the snow crunching beneath its feet.
A gigantic cracking sound split the silence. Lois turned quickly toward the sound, imagining that Superman would have to leave for some rescue.
“It’s okay Lois, it’s just the ice shifting. It makes those sounds all the time.”
“So this is where you come?”
“Well, sometimes. There’s a mountain I generally go stand on over there, he nodded to the east. I swam under here today.”
”Today? When was that?”
“After the explosion. All the carnage really hurts. I close my eyes and relive it over and over if I don’t do something drastic. It really helps to shock my system out of it.”
“Did you see Clark there? I went and didn’t see him, but then he came back and wrote it all up.” She asked, remembering how mad she had been at him and reflected on her day, how horribly wrong it had gone. “I was pretty mean to him today. I guess I shouldn’t have been, but he’s always taking off without telling me where he’s going. And he’s been acting more aloof lately. I told him I wanted to stay friends with him, but he’s different now somehow. Oh, he looks happy enough, he’s just not the same.”
Superman nodded as he held her. After a reflective pause she began again. “Ralph made some snide remark about me and Lex and I let him have it. I was so mad. Where does he get off making comments about me like that? He’s such a jerk.” Her heartbeat was speeding up, as was her breathing. Clark just held her and let her vent. “I can’t believe how Lex turned out! I feel so sick whenever I think about how he had those people gunned down so he could kill you!” She turned her head from where it lay on his shoulder to look at his face. “How can he want to kill you! You’ve never hurt a soul! You’ve just tried to help, always helping. And you’re so kind and so gentle and patient. You’re a lot like Clark. I guess that’s why you’re friends. He’s like that too, so supportive.” She paused for awhile listening to the ice cracking as they drifted about. She could see another polar bear heading south with a cub. “They don’t hibernate do they? Polar bears I mean.” She began idly, then launched into spilling her feelings again.
“Do you think I'm stupid, Kal?”
He raised his eyebrows at her. “No, I think you’re brilliant. But sometimes you do fail to see what’s obvious when you’re looking at something else. That’s how you get yourself into so many tight spots that I have to come rescue you from.” And other stuff, he added to himself, hoping she wouldn’t take this moment to look closely at what she was overlooking with him.
“I feel so stupid. I'm such a bad judge of character, at least when it comes to my own life. I think I'm pretty good when I'm hunting down the bad guy, but in my own life, if my own emotions are involved, forget it. Lex was such a smooth talker. He was so ‘nice’ to me. He really seemed to love me. I guess whenever I’ve seen him he’s always been so nice to me. I’ve seen him be short with other people, I guess, but, you know from the first time I met him at that ball, he just seemed so upstanding, so good.” She sighed deeply and lay her head back against his shoulder again.
“I guess that’s why I was so mad at Ralph. I was already embarrassed because Clark had seen your ring and I let him think I had said yes to Lex. He’s been really nice about it though. Before, he tried to convince me how bad Lex was but I wouldn’t listen. I just thought he was jealous.”
They were flying again before she realized it and soon came to float over a field of flowers.
“I let him think it was Lex’s ring so he wouldn’t ask me any questions, since you wanted it to be a secret.” She looked down at her hand, which no longer bore the ring. “I was so mad about it I threw it in my desk. I'm sorry.”
“It’s okay. It’s probably better not to be wearing it right now, anyway.”
The breeze was floating them across a meadow of lupines of all colours. A grizzly bear was standing in the midst of them nuzzling its cub. “Where are we?” Lois asked, becoming aware of the new surroundings.
“Northern BC. I love lupines. My mother always wanted to grow them, but I guess it was too far south for them to do very well.”
Lois nodded, her head still against him where it had been since they’d been standing over the ice cap. “They smell so good.” A blissful look washed over her face, something he thought was akin to ecstasy. It made him smile.
“Ralph may press charges. I kicked him in the groin and he was pretty mad at me. I think he may have a black eye, too.” She looked up into his eyes. “I’d have broken all his bones if I hadn’t been too disgusted to be in the same room with him.”
“He may.” Clark nodded, recalling what he’d heard in the newsroom earlier. “But you could probably defend yourself with harassment.” He added somberly. “Lois, why do you get so mad sometimes?”
She was quiet. “I don’t know.” She looked out over the lupines. “My mother was always raging at my father. I guess it was her first reaction to anything. Yell first, think later.”
He nodded. “My parents hardly ever raised their voices that I can remember. Sometimes injustice would irritate my dad, but I don't think either of them said hurtful things when they were mad.” He smiled then.
“What?”
“I remember once when I found out I could lift heavy things, my dad was trying to get the cows into the barn. Betsy wouldn’t come in, so he went on ahead into the barn, and I went out after her. I caught her and tossed her up in the air. She landed on her back on my hand, so I carried her like that into the barn. You should have seen my father’s face. That cow was upside down, all four legs flailing, her tail hanging down dragging the barn floor. I guess I had her on my shoulder by that point.” He laughed heartily and shook his head. “What my parents went through!”
“What did he do to you?”
“I got a sober talking to about treating animals and all living things with respect. He made me fence a whole field at normal speed as punishment. It took me most of the summer.” He laughed again as she joined in.
“I just can’t see you digging fence holes by hand! I can’t believe you did that to the cow! How old were you?”
“I don’t remember. I was in school, but I wasn’t very old. Ten maybe?”
“Didn’t you balk at having such a huge punishment?”
“Yeah. I tried to get out of it, but my parents are pretty firm. I remember sitting against a post I’d just put in, chewing on the end of a piece of grass, sulking about it. I never cheated though. I mean I didn’t do it at super speed when they weren’t watching. It kind of felt good to work like that. Of course I didn’t admit it. My father would come out and give me pointers on how to do the job more efficiently. He even helped me with the fence wire. I pulled and he nailed it in place on the posts.” He became quiet as he thought about his father and recalled the days in the field. “I’ll never forget the look on his face when I brought that cow in upside down.” He was shaking with deep laughter.
Lois turned around in his arms and leaned her head back on his shoulder, imagining the scene.
“I think my mother heard Betsy mooing from the house and came running out to see what was wrong. She certainly didn’t see the humor in it. Not then. We had some good laughs about it as the years went by though.”
He paused, then after awhile mused, “My dad would make me move fences. He thought a growing boy needed something to do, so he’d have me move fences year after year. He let me do it fast though. It was pretty hard for him to give me enough to do to keep me really busy though, I was so fast I could always finish a job quickly.”
They floated over the field for awhile. “It’s so neat to hear about your childhood. Mine was so different. I don’t have many good memories. My mother was always drunk and my father was never home. I took care of Lucy as well as I could…”
“Did you ever go to that AA group for children of alcoholics?”
“No. I figured I didn’t need any outside advice. I’ve always been pretty independent. I guess that was why.”
He rubbed her back idly with one hand. “I think we’d better get back. Dinner was all ready when I came to pick you up.”
“Oops.” She smiled at him as they sped away toward Metropolis.
They landed on his fire escape and went inside. Sure enough, the vegetables in the frying pan were cold and quite soft. Clark put on some water for the rice and opened the fridge for something for them to drink. “Do you want a cream soda or some apple juice?”
Lois looked at him in Clark’s kitchen, noting how comfortable he looked cooking. Then it struck her. His secret identity…Clark Kent! Good grief! Of course! All this time she’d known he had a secret identity, and it had been right under her nose. She slumped back into a chair, her mind whirling. She was in shock, then slowly the enormity of the deceit sunk in. Her fury at Clark all day had really boiled down to not being told why he was always disappearing. Duh!
She felt emotions of all sorts wash over her, feeling blinded by them.
"I'll be right back," she said, heading toward teh door and leaving before Clark had a chance to respond.
She walked for some time, thinking and stewing and venting. Finally she came back to the apartment. Clark had flown out to see what she had gone to do, just to make sure everything was fine and had heard her muttering about her findings. He thought it best to let her stew about it on her own. When she'd sort it out she'd be ready to talk about it. He watched her from afar until she headed back to his apartment an hour or so later.
She remembered the conversation they’d had in the Mexican restaurant, how afraid he’d been to tell her who he really was. He wasn’t hiding himself from her, he’d been quite willing to let her know all about his life growing up, and why he’d taken a secret identity. It made sense. Still, the enormity of what this meant in her life was too much. No wonder he seemed so much like Clark.
She pictured Clark with the cow upside down on his shoulder and smiled, chuckling. He looked over at her as he brought a glass of cream soda over, then headed back into the kitchen. She was speechless. He’d been so wonderful to her lately. The days together had been such a dream. He’d been so romantic yet so respectful of her privacy, never trying for what most men wanted. She’d felt so secure with him.
She felt an ache in her chest as she remembered Clark’s declaration of love for her in the park. He’d given up on being with her as Clark, and had decided his only hope for being with her was as his other self. A tear came to her eye as she thought about how much he loved her, how good he had been to her, how Clark had been distant lately while Superman had been so attentive, returning all of her affection and developing such a deep and meaningful relationship with her.
He really loved her, it was obvious. She felt a bit irritated that Clark would do that, love her as Superman if he couldn’t love her as Clark, but her feelings for him were so deep, she could see why he had done it, feel the pain he must have felt when she’d rejected him for his other self. She grimaced.
It wasn’t his fault he had a secret identity. He’d told her why. It made sense. He’d wanted to tell her, to marry her as himself, Clark. He hadn’t married her as Superman. She thought about the ring in her desk and about Clark’s behavior. No wonder he’d not been angry at her about Lex any more, even though if they’d been two people he should by rights have still been mad, and deeply hurt.
Her face clouded over as he opened the door for her. “Are you okay?”
She didn’t want to break the spell between them. Not yet. Who knew where their relationship would go if she got mad at him for not telling her, for not trusting her for a year. These feelings of the past few days were the most wonderful feelings she’d ever had. She remembered how he’d left yesterday when she’d been mad at him. He didn’t want to fight with her. Of course not, he loved her. How could she have been so blind all this time.
‘Don’t fall for me Farmboy’ went through her mind. Well he had. Hook line and sinker, and now, having given up on his real self, he’d turned to his only other hope to woo her. She remembered how she’d felt when he’d flown her back to the office that first time, how she’d swooned over him and looked down at Clark. For so long she’d treated Clark as a ham, this wonderful man who would do anything to protect her.
She leaned forward to pick up the soda while Clark lit the candles on the table with his eyes. He was still in the suit. He probably wasn’t very comfortable wearing the suit all the time around her, all that tight spandex.
“Lois?”
“Yes, I'm fine.” She came in and went over to see what dinner was looking like now, leaning against the counter while he returned to teh stove, making a sauce for the vegetables he’d prepared. He loved to cook, that was obvious. She’d eaten his cooking hundreds of times. Well, maybe not hundreds, but a lot.
“Why do you cook at normal speed when you could do it fast?” she asked, knowing she really didn't want to talk about what was really on her mind.
“I like to relax and enjoy it. I don’t do everything fast. I’ve always liked cooking. I used to help my mother in the kitchen. We’d talk about our days together. It was a special time between us. She taught me to make the most delicious apple pie.”
“I’d love to try it sometime!” she smiled quietly.
He looked at her and grinned with that drop dead knock down smile of Clark’s. “I’ve got one ready for desert!”
He was such a wonderful man, whoever he was. Both of them were.
“Is it okay if I go lie down?”
He looked up at her from the sauce he was stirring. “Of course, Lois!”
She nodded and walked into his bedroom and curled up in his bed, snuggling her head into his pillow. So many things were pushing into her mind. The way her anger may have gotten her into a lawsuit with Ralph, her viciousness with Clark earlier in the day. That email she’d sent him. She sighed again. No wonder Clark was always running out. No wonder he’d gotten the story of the explosion. She remembered the poignant piece about superman. That had been right after they’d become engaged. No wonder it had been so good. Clark had been writing from his own heart about his own feelings.
Tears came to her eyes and she buried her head in the pillow as she began to sob. Clark heard her from the kitchen. In a flash he had turned off the burners and was lying beside her, hugging her to himself.
“What’s wrong Lois? Please don’t cry.”
She sobbed against his chest, making no effort to hide the pain she felt at her behavior towards him. How he must have felt knowing she was going to marry Lex if Superman didn’t want to return her love for him. She cried harder. How could she have ever even thought of marrying Lex? How could she have looked past the ordinary man to the one in the super colours? They were so similar. They both stood for truth and justice. He’d tried to keep her from falling in love with Superman. He knew he could never be Clark if he were Superman with her. But then, finally when she poured out her love for him, he had thrown caution to the wind and had let her see so much of himself. He’d practically told her his whole secret.
So that’s what Clark had been hiding for so long, afraid of being discovered and having to leave town. All those stupid excuses. No wonder nobody had called him Kalel before. He was Clark to the whole world, and superman to the rest, her own name for him.
She thought of the lone ranger with his mask. She’d thought that Superman’s mask may have been a thick beard. She’d assumed he worked in some kind of a physical job when he’d told her about his other life. She’d wondered if he had a social life with women in his other life. He hadn’t said where he’d worked, obviously. That would have been a dead giveaway.
She sighed as the tears began to abate. She felt so tired.
“Lois? What’s wrong Lois?”
She squeezed him and closed her eyes, her head nestled on the pillow and against his chest. Her breathing deepened and her heartbeat slowed. Clark looked down onto her childlike, tear streaked face, gently drying it with his hand. How he loved her. How he had always ached to hold her, to sleep with her beside him, to abandon himself to her kisses. He kissed her forehead gently and relaxed into the softness of the comforter beneath him. She had tucked herself into his bed when she’d gone to lie down, so the comforter now gave him a degree of comfort that he’d act appropriately. She looked so delicate, like a porcelain doll. He had no idea what had upset her so, but imagined it had something to do with her blindness about Lex. he didn't dare think she'd discovered his secret.
Dreams took her mind away, spinning all her thoughts into a finely woven pattern. She was flying in Clark’s arms, then landing with him in the newsroom where he became Superman at Clark’s desk. They were flying after the bad guys together. He was kissing her, blissfully. She felt so calm, so content. The man she loved was really both men she loved, one as a friend and one romantically. Then the three of them were flying and Clark kept crossing over to merge with superman who would then fly back to the other side of her. As they landed, the two men became one, carrying her, holding her, kissing her, marrying her. Wedding music filled the room as she stood across from Clark. He was sliding a ring onto her finger, then again their lips were together. The dream went on and on, taking all her problems and all her doubts and insecurities and weaving them all together into a beautiful pattern.
She sighed and stretched under Clark’s arm. His gaze hadn’t left her face. He watched her eyelids flutter, the muscles in her face tense and relax, her lips move, whispering ‘I do, Clark, I do’. She smiled and moaned quietly, her body moving beneath his arm in a sensuous way, snuggling closer to him. He blushed, imagining what she was dreaming about. He’d never thought she’d dreamed about him that way. He’d always dreamed of her, for the past year he’d dreamed about being close to her, the way he wanted to be when they were married. He’d thought his dreams were dashed when she’d been almost ready to accept Lex’s proposal. The pain he’d felt. He grimaced as he remembered it. It wasn’t much different from the way kryptonite made him feel. She’d called him Clark in her dream, not Kal, not Superman. Thankfully, not Lex. No, it could never be Lex now. But why Clark? Was she now realizing that she really loved her best friend after all? How helpful if he could see into her mind to what her dream was really about. He studied her face, feeling her presence, trying to feel her mind. Was it wrong to try to read her mind? Could he even do that if he tried? He’d felt at times that he’d been able to read his mother’s mind, answering her when she hadn’t spoken yet. Was that just from being with her all the time?
He and Lois had often finished each others sentences since they’d worked together as partners. He felt bad that he’d not told her where he was going yesterday. But she’d been way too mad for that to really be what was wrong. Of course, she’d just watched Lex plunge to his death. What must have gone through her mind and soul seeing someone she’d felt so close to about to hit the pavement. But he’d saved him and she hadn’t had to watch something so horrible. There had been tears on her face. She’d been very upset by it all.
He thought for a long time, finally letting sleep claim him as well. He shifted slightly, snuggling himself into the bed, both his arms around Lois’ warm body, the comforter between them. As his dreams took him into that other word of fantasy and wonder, where many of his problems had been solved, where the woman he loved always loved him, his body began to leave the bed behind, Lois wrapped snugly in his arms, the comforter draped over her hanging down to the bed below. Unconsciously, he pulled her over on top of himself where she was curled up in the comforter, her knees bent, her arms tucked into her body, her head pulled down toward her chest. He stretched out under her as he dreamed, his body going through what it always did when he dreamed of being married to her. He ran his hands through her hair, caressing her back, lost in his dream. Then they were kissing. She had found his lips and they were lost together in their love for one another. His eyes flittered open as he floated back down onto the bed, realizing that he’d had Lois in his arms and that not all of what had happened had been a dream. He blushed, glad to find that she was still wrapped in the comforter and he was wearing his spandex suit. He relaxed beside her, again on the bed. She snuggled into him again, moaning as she searched for his lips again. He squeezed her to himself, turning his face away from her lips, which had found his cheek instead. She groaned in frustration.
“No, Lois, we can’t.” he heard himself saying. She opened her eyes slightly, remembering that she had come to lie down in his bed. Her dreams had made her mind more lucid. Her thoughts seemed more calm and orderly. She nodded in appreciation and contented herself with putting her head back against his shoulder.
“I love you, Clark. I'm so sorry I didn’t know how much I loved you before. Thank you for loving me and saving me from myself.” She murmured.
Just then the sound of metal on metal met his sensitive ears. “Not now!” he muttered. “Lois, there’s been a train wreck, I’ve go to go. Shall I take you to your apartment on the way?”
She started into wakefulness. “do you have time? Yeah, I guess so.”
In moments she was in her own bed, tucked in under her own covers with her head on her own pillow. Clark had rushed away in a gust of wind from beside her bed. She rolled over and tucked her head in the pillow. “I love you Clark Kent.”
He could hear it as he headed away above her building.
