Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Original Fiction FDK: I Can't Believe It's Not Real Life (tm) 1/4

[I have to admit, Paul, the first thing I thought was "He was at MIT before the Matrix came out?" <g> I have very fond memories of watching that movie projected on a bedsheet hanging from a balcony at McGregor, in the middle of the night, during Campus Preview Weekend. It was freezing but I kept telling myself such and such scene was coming and I had to see that part <g>.

That said, I don't know what the Matrix has to do with this play, but I'll assume that bit is forthcoming.]

At the risk of sounding stupid, I like just about everything here <g>. I like the dialogue you have set up; I like the characters... You set up the scene and the character interactions well. They have personalities and quirks (I don't know anyone who names their stove <g>). That makes them seem more real to me. I can easily see this on a stage or on a television/movie screen, which is impressive because I usually hate reading scripts (mostly because I have a hard time visualizing people/scenes and I usually need an illustration of some sort to get me from verbal pictures to visual ones).

I'll be curious to see how this shapes up, and how it relates to the Matrix <g>. It's a pity they didn't put it on in Dramashop, but perhaps you can submit it again when you're there? (Maybe someday we'll actually both be there at the same time, and I can see it <g>)

Kaylle

okay, not sure if i should be responding to FDK yet, but... I'VE GOT FDK!! and it's kaylle's first post on the re-opened boards, too! i'm honored.

so, please do feel free to add more comments, guys. i'll try to hold off posting part 2 for another couple of days to give you time.

yes, kaylle.. matrix came out in 1999, and i graduated high school in '97 (just a short while after "family hour" aired). so, actually, i was a sophomore at the time (i'll actually be turning 25 in a little more than a month... scary). i was a bit peeved about it, too, because even though i'd come up with the idea for the play a year or so prior, i figured people would think it was a knock-off. that, and i didn't really like the movie (i refused to see it when it first came out, and confirmed the soundness of that choice when i caught it on TV a couple years later).

anyway, yeah... the similarity will probably become clearer later on. middle of part 4, at the latest. if not, well, i'll be happy. of course, now that i've planted the idea in your head... <sigh> oh well.

no. doesn't sound stupid to me. say that as often as you like.

as for naming the stove... lol. never thought of it that way. just seems like you put that much work into making the derned thing... i mean, i know people who name their computers (mine is dv-5, after a robot in an isaac asimov short story who went insane whenever he had to multi-task), people who name their cars... why not name a geothemal vent and the oven that goes with it? <g> glad it worked for you, anyway.

really glad to hear that. i think you just made my day.

as for dramashop, they liked it. that's how it made the shortlist. i was excited about that. the way they narrow the short list down from 5 to 3, though, is that they wait for potential directors to submit proposals. no one wanted to direct this one. i was told by one person (from the DS board, i think) that some people might have been scared off simply because of the problem of how to make the oven on dramashop's shoestring budget. i intend to include notes about how to do so cheaply if and when i resubmit.

definitely looking forward to a time when we're both on campus, kaylle. if it makes the shortlist again, maybe you'll want to direct?

Paul

I like the names Stanley and Stella... weren't those the names of steamers (dragons) in Xanth? Is there any reference there, or is the Xanth just a play on something else I should know about?

I like the dialogue so far, and especially the play structure you're writing this in. I can really picture the stove starting to steam again when Amy mentions it, and Snow's frantic rush to fix it. *grin* Amy's dialogue on occasion sounds a tiny bit stiff (the part about respecting his father more, particularly), but, then, she seems sort of the type who's trying to be a bit too perfect, so I guess it fits. We'll see more of her as the play goes on, I'm sure. I like the hippie connection with the names... when I saw those names that was my first assumption, actually. I loved Amy wanting a milkshake so she could sip it decoriously (however you spell that). Going off to read the next part now.

yay! more FDK! the poll worked!

yes, sarah, stanley and stella were the names of the dragons in xanth. common source material...

stanley steamer is an old brand of vacuum cleaners. stanely the dragon is a steamer, and so is stanley the geothermal vent.

stanley and stella are a not-very-happily married couple from "a streetcar named desire." he's a neglectful husband with a sharp temper, and, by the end of the play, she decides not to put up with it. so, he blows his top, and she gets steamed... i thought it worked.

as for amy's dialogue being stiff.. i'll have to look back at that. thanks for pointing it out. not sure exactly how you mean it, so it could be right for the character or it could be something that needs to be fixed. she's a little hard to write in that she's a country girl trying to give off a vaguely vally girl impression without quite knowing how to do so.

glad you liked the sipping, though.

see you at part 2.

Paul

I'm reading, and I'm liking!

I can so see this pizzeria -- actually, I think I might've been there once...