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HatMan Offline OP
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i'm hoping that creating a comments thread (and, perhaps, the new twists in the part) will encourage more comments. i'm looking for whatever thoughts you may have, good or bad. suggestions, constructive criticsm, etc are warmly welcomed. don't make me beg, here, guys. smile

part 2

TOC

Paul


When in doubt, think about penguins. It probably won't help, but at least it'll be fun.
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Nick is hilarious!!! Can you bottle him and sell him? *grin* I really enjoy his character, especially. Wasn't as huge on the singing scene, until we got into Nick's comments on it. Oh, loved the directions about the actor playing Nick, being the perfect mime, will have no trouble banging into the wall... couldn't help laughing. smile

And as for Amy meeting Snow every day, Dave coming in every day... the implication that Nick is seeing "through" the play, which must be performed frequently, is really neat. I like the part where he comments on members of the audience. It's interesting, at least. I liked the thing about the "slice of life" and pizzeria, and then about it being cheesy. I'd make it a *little* more subtle, though, if possible?

Anyway, definitely enjoying this. Post more soon!

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M
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M
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Enjoying this too. Yep, I like Nick... smile

twins
metwin1

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thanks for the FDK, sarah. glad you like nick, too. he's my favorite. laugh definitely glad you enjoyed my playing with the fourth wall and the reality of the play. that's the heart of what's going on.

what do you mean about being "more subtle," though? i just sort of wrote those lines in because they felt natural. so... subtle, how?

twin1, thanks for the comments. glad to hear you're enjoying it. smile

part 3 coming right up. smile

Paul


When in doubt, think about penguins. It probably won't help, but at least it'll be fun.
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Merriwether
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ROFL!

Quote
NICK

There really is no wall there. I'll prove it to you. <Gets up, if he hasn't already done so, and walks towards the audience. The actor, being a brilliant mime, should have no trouble having Nick &#8220;slam into&#8221; the &#8220;fourth wall.&#8221;> Ow!
I was NOT expecting this! It's great! laugh

Quote
AMY

But if this is a play, it doesn't seem to have much of a plot.
LOL! Very brave to have a character say something like that!

And I like the fact that we have verification -- sort of -- of Nick's world-view.


Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you, like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says, "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly.

- Under the Tuscan Sun
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rivka, thanks for your comments on part 1. glad you liked it, and that you felt the setting was realistic. smile otoh, i have a feeling geothermal pizza is rather unique, if only for the name and the oven... wink

glad you liked nick's fourth wall interaction in this part. as i said to sarah, playing with the reality of the play is really what it's all about. does make it easier to have critical lines, though. laugh after all, they're not criticizing my play, they're criticizing the one they're in. wink

as to verification of nick's world-view, see part 4. smile

Paul


When in doubt, think about penguins. It probably won't help, but at least it'll be fun.

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