okay. this is the last part. it's officially safe to read now.
Part 3 TOC Scene 2:
<A TECHIE comes in, munching a burger. He absentmindedly puts it down on the counter as he starts moving things back to their original places, cleaning up, etc. At some point, he picks up the wrench and puts it in his pocket.>
VOICE
Ok, people! Ready for the next performance! Places! <Enter NICK>
TECHIE
Oh, hey <actor’s name>!
NICK
The name’s Nick.
TECHIE
Nick? Wait, you mean we’re starting already?! Uh oh. <Breath> It’s ok. I’m wearing black. I’m invisible. <Sneaks off the stage, using a gap in the back that’s not really an exit, if possible. Otherwise, just make sure that he doesn’t use the pizzeria door.>
SNOW
<Carrying the wrench, walks on stage, also through non-standard entrance. He goes to the oven, and starts messing with it, mumbling, as before. NICK, by now, is back in his booth. Enter Amy.>
Hey, welcome to Geothermal Pizza! Can I getcha anything?
AMY
Hi. Uhm, could I get a slice of pepperoni?
SNOW
Pepperoni? Sure. <puts the wrench down, washes his hands>
AMY
Hey, what’s with this burger? I didn’t think you guys would allow people to bring food in here.
NICK
Heh. They screwed up.
AMY
Who?
NICK
The M.I.B.'s
AMY
M.I.B.'s? Are you saying aliens left a burger on the counter?
NICK
No. Not those M.I.B.'s- theater ones. They're a secret society. They monitor all activity on stage. They move in the shadows, making sure everything runs properly, and they always wear black. Some day, they'll find out about me, and then, I don't know what they'll do.
AMY
What’s he talking about?
SNOW
Besides being a writer and a director, Nick over there is a conspiracy theorist. He thinks
he’s a character in a play.
AMY
I see... So Men In Black, in the theater, making sure things run properly... oh, the tech crew!
NICK
You know about them?
AMY
I’m an actress, or at least I’m trying to be one.
NICK
So, Amy, you didn’t bring the burger in, right?
AMY
How... How do you know my name?
NICK
I’ve done this play before. So, you didn’t bring the burger, right?
AMY
Uh, right.
NICK
Whitey?
SNOW
Not me.
NICK
And Raincloud is a vegetarian. He wouldn’t eat a burger, and would throw one out if it was just left on the counter.
AMY
A vegetarian? But you serve pepperoni...
SNOW
So? You think there’s meat in pepperoni? Sure, next you’ll be telling me that there’s actual meat in a hot dog...
AMY
Silly me.
RAINCLOUD
<Who has wandered in during the conversation>
Actually, it's just that I don't want to press my moral views on others.
NICK
Forget the pepperoni! Don't you understand? That's proof! If none of us put it there, the only other way it could be there is if one of the M.I.B.'s left it by mistake. This has to be a play! I told you, and now I have proof!
AMY
If this is a play, then who’s it about?
NICK
You, I think.
AMY
This is too freaky. I’m outta here.
<AMY exits. All freeze, confused. Fade to black. Curtain call.>
NICK
<Holding the burger, speaking wondrously>
So, I was right all along. Here's solid proof. And now, it’s curtain call. The fourth wall is down. I’m free! <Steps straight forward, off the stage. Looks around in wonder as he walks, almost dreamlike, past the audience, and out the main exit of the theater.>
Scene 3:
The same set-up, once again, except NICK is nowhere to be found. SNOW is, of course, working on the oven. Enter Amy.
SNOW
Hey, welcome to Geothermal Pizza! Can I getcha anything?
AMY
Hi. Uhm, could I get a slice of pepperoni?
SNOW
Pepperoni? Sure. <puts the wrench down, washes his hands>
AMY
Wow. This place seems kind of empty.
SNOW
Well, there’s this guy, Nick, who usually hangs out here, but he didn’t show up today. You’re right, though. The place does seem empty without him. So, ah, what’s your name?
AMY
I’m Amy.
SNOW
Nice to meet you, Amy. You can call me Whitey.
AMY
Whitey?
SNOW
It’s a nickname. Nickname. Nick. It feels so weird without him skulking in the corner.
AMY
Skulking?
SNOW
He’s a conspiracy theorist. He used to just sit in that booth back there, trying to convince us that this is all a play.
AMY
What happened to him?
SNOW
I don’t know. He just didn’t show up today. I know he’s been working on this new script, but it’s not in production yet. Heck, he hasn’t even finished writing it, and he does some of his best writing here.
DAVE
<Entering through main door>
The usual, please. Hey, where’s Nick? Finally hit his head a little too hard?
SNOW
I don’t know. I haven’t seen him all day.
DAVE
That’s odd. <Sits down. There is a pause.>
SNOW
So, uh, Amy, what are you doing in Los Angeles?
AMY
I’m trying to get my big break as an actress.
SNOW
Really? That’s cool. Too bad Nick’s not here. Maybe he could have gotten you a part.
AMY
Yeah. Too bad. <Another pause.>
NICK
<Strolls casually in through the front door.>
Hey, guys. Miss me?
SNOW
Nick! Where have you been?
NICK
Travelling. Trying to find my place in the world.
SNOW
Your place?
NICK
Yeah. I went out into the world, then realized I don’t really have an identity. I’ve got a name, well, a first name, anyway, and I’ve got a personality and stuff, but no really identity, you know what I mean?
SNOW
Not really.
DAVE
Walking around without a sense of identity, not knowing your last name- did you hit your head again?
NICK
<Chuckles> No, I didn’t. I don’t think I’ll be hitting my head ever again. <Beat> So, anyway, I was walking around, and I didn’t really fit in anywhere. Then I realized that there was only one place where I really belong, where people know me, where I know what to say and do. Right here, with you guys.
SNOW
Wow. That’s really cool of you. I’m glad you found your place in the great cosmic continuum.
NICK
I thought you didn’t like the whole hippie thing, Whitey.
SNOW
I don’t. That was a surfer thing.
NICK
Cosmic continuum? Sounds very hippie to me.
SNOW
Really? That’s freaky.
NICK
Think about it. You and your surfer pals may be hippies in your own way.
SNOW
<Leans back, thinking>
Huh.
NICK
So, how are you, Dave?
DAVE
Not well. I’ve got this lecture that I need to give, and I’m really nervous about it.
NICK
What’s it about?
DAVE
The mating habits of penguins. It’s really interesting, you know-
NICK
Penguins, eh? Penguins. I researched penguins once. Very dangerous creatures, penguins. Did you know there’s an international treaty that prevents killing, wounding, or capturing penguins in Antarctica? The treaty also forbids any military deployments in the area. But they didn’t stop there. There are penguin colonies in Australia, New Zealand, Peru, Chile, South Africa, and there’s even one in the tropics on the Galapagos Islands. Penguins are known to be very territorial, too. A couple of species are called King and Emperor penguins. Hmm... very suspicious. Penguins...
SNOW
Welcome back, Nick.
<Fade to black. Curtain Call. Nick smiles at the audience.>
NICK
Yes, this time it’s really over. But, we’ll be back tomorrow night. <Winks. EXUNT>
you can comment on this part
here.
