Still mysterious... I like it. For some reason, although I still can't claim I'm really aware of what's going on, I'm curious to read more. Post the next part soon. AnnaBtG.
Okay, okay, so mom did read it. And it's good. I enjoyed it a lot, although I do see some editing I have to help you with - spelling and a couple of grammar points.
The dream sequence at the start is a lot better now.
Also, remember what I told you; this crowd is definitely going to pick up on the fact that your villian is named Trask!
Mom
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
Now all I have to do, is come up with the next part. Uh oh... Uh... Have to go! 