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#138264 05/27/05 02:37 PM
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Rotten tomatoes go here. Just remember, I was young and innocent when I wrote this... peep

It's Wendy's fault that I posted this, go blame her wink

PJ

#138265 05/27/05 03:07 PM
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Well, well... smile1

Sara laugh

Ooh... PS: Almost forgot the obligatory "Wow! You've gotten a *lot* better!!!!" But, truly, you have! smile Now if only I had some HU to read... *heavy dramatic sigh* wink


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#138266 05/27/05 05:28 PM
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Thanks so much for posting this warts and all. smile1


Wendy smile


Just a fly-by! *waves*
#138267 05/27/05 05:52 PM
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I like it. I'd like to read the rest of it. smile

#138268 05/28/05 10:43 AM
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Okay, that's good. You've definitely improved, but it's still very good. I think you have it in you smile

I'd like to see the rest... and even more of it!!

See ya,
AnnaBtG. (who was one year old in 1989 laugh )


What we've got here is failure to communicate...
#138269 05/28/05 11:10 AM
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Okay, Pam, you can't leave it half done. Let's see the rest.

Nan


Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
#138270 05/28/05 04:11 PM
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/me peeks back into the thread...

Thanks, guys, for being kind about this <g>

Quote
Interesting premise... are you sure this is completed in two parts? Seems like quite a set-up you have here. Or are the two parts consisting of everything that was finished?
Um. Well, the entire big picture goes on for years. This particular section of it only goes for a few days. See, this is the fantasy universe I'd play with in my head -- anytime I was bored, or waiting in line, or whatever, I'd think about all the fun stuff that could happen on Mars. It got pretty complicated. But this one is the only bit that actually got written.

Quote
So. Interesting situation here! As Sara said, I can't quite see how you'll finish it off in one more part. Although the romantic tension between Paula and Robert is fun, what really fascinates me is the political situation you've drawn. Typical colonisation: natives get treated like crap while the invaders/colonists get the best of everything. So, is Paula going to write about the injustices?
Oh, good, it didn't sound totally crappy and unrealistic laugh I'd had moments of doubt, typing it in... And Paula goes on to a big future, but it won't be shown in this story. smile

Thanks, Onaleia smile (pretty name!) Thanks, Anna, for making me feel really old laugh Okay, Nan, the rest is coming up...

PJ

#138271 05/29/05 02:53 AM
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Aha, so here's the rest!

Just as good as the first part. No, that's a lie. This one's better smile I'd be delighted if I ever reached that kind of quality in my writing smile

This is an excellent story (and I wouldn't object to seeing more, if you have something in mind smile ). Not to mention, it's so L&Cy it's almost scary. Your nick wouldn't happen to be Cassandra, would it? wink

Keep writing (anything!).
See ya,
AnnaBtG.

P.S.: You're welcome laugh


What we've got here is failure to communicate...
#138272 05/29/05 04:51 PM
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Ooh! Part 2! goofy

Thanks for the glimpse into your earlier writing, Pam!


Wendy smile


Just a fly-by! *waves*
#138273 06/01/05 05:54 AM
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Very good story/universe. Would love to see more of it.

Some interesting parallels between Nan's Slave Race/Terran Underground and this story.

-A kidnapping/abduction by the nice guys.
-second class citizens
-Soulmates/spiritual bonding(also L&Cy)
-Underground revolutionaries

I guess that I must really like those kind of stories...

James


β€œβ€¦with God everything is possible.” Matthew 19:26.


Also read Nan's Terran Underground!
#138274 06/01/05 06:03 AM
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Thanks, James... I guess this is just more proof that I want to be Nan when I grow up! laugh

Thanks Wendy & Anna, too -- I appreciate you reading my little vanity project smile

PJ

#138275 06/05/05 05:25 PM
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That was a good story. It didn't seem quite finished, though. wink


I believe there's a hero in all of us that keeps us honest, gives us strength, makes us noble, and finally allows us to die with pride, even though sometimes we have to be steady and give up the thing we want the most. Even our dreams. -- Aunt May, Spider-Man 2

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