A/N: He has a new friend! awww...how sweet. I had to give him someone else to talk to.
TOC Joseph and Richard: Scene 1“Hey!” a bellowing voice came from the other window. “Where are the last two suckers?” Joseph turned to the sound in alarm. He quickly scanned the area for another escape. Staying here could be a bad idea.
He looked back into the room to find it empty. The occupants must have left to search for him, and whoever else had escaped. Even the box carrying the unfortunate girl was gone.
Thinking quickly, Joseph cut the curtain ropes and tied them together. He tied the end to one of the banisters and made his way to the next window, two levels down. He paused at the top of the window frame, wedging his foot into the slightly larger bricks. He listened carefully to make sure no one was in the room.
Once satisfied, he moved down the side of the window and hid behind the fully closed curtain. Seeing no light coming from the curtain edges, Joseph crawled into the room. He stopped at the entrance, allowing his eyes to adjust to the darkness.
It was an empty room, except for one exception. The door was shut, but Joseph could see the shadow of someone standing in front of it. Probably standing guard for anyone fleeing the scene upstairs.
Joseph moved around the sofa in the middle of the room, leaned against the door and listened carefully. Hearing nothing, close by anyway, he slowly turned the handle and soundlessly pulled the door open. Joseph thumped the soldier over the head as hard and as quietly as he could. The soldier made one surprised grunt, before landing unconscious in Joseph's arms.
Joseph's eyes widened as he almost hit the floor with the soldier's excess weight. He took a deep breath, swallowed down an oath and heaved the large man into the room. He let go, letting the man fall to the floor, and quickly shut the door so no one would see what he was up to.
He relieved the man of his clothes, catching his breath in the process. He took the pillow cover off one of the corner sofas, and threw his old clothes in it as he pulled on the uniform.
He looked down at his appearance, and sighed. His pants were slightly too short, almost undetectable. His top coat and shirt, however, were a good 3-5 sizes too big, and they hung off him.
"How could anyone this fat be in the guard?" Joseph mumbled in disgust. He figured the soldier must have been a cousin of someone important, put into service to stop arguments with interfering aunts, or something like that.
He grabbed the pillow that no longer had a cover, and shoved it under the shirt. It was still loose on him, but it was definitely an improvement. Tossing the pillow cover over his shoulder, he stepped on quiet feet out into the winding staircase once again and started down warily.
Alas, poor Joseph was unlucky this night. Quite obviously, destiny wasn't finished with playing with him yet, and was amused at watching him struggle. On hearing a scrambled ruckus coming towards him, Joseph sighed and quickly threw his newly acquired helmet over his head.
A tall, gangly man with a face full of blemishes came charging up the stairs, his eyes wide with fright. At least, Joseph thought it was fright, but he didn't have much time to worry about it.
The man skidded to a stop in front of Joseph. The man gasped, turned back to the pounding feet following him, and then swiveled back to Joseph like a trapped animal.
Joseph did find that the man wasn't done yet, however. As Joseph stepped to the side to let the man past, the man had drawn his sword and jumped into a defensive stance so quickly, Joseph was impressed.
The man blinked when he found his way clear, and he continued up the stairwell on fleeing feet. Joseph released a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, and leaned against the wall in relief.
The soldiers down stairs seemed to have lost the man's scent. So it looked like they weren't coming up after all. Joseph took his helmet off and ran his hand through his already messy black hair. That was close.
Joseph's head shot up when the almost familiar pounding of feet headed back down the stairs. Joseph turned just in time to collide with the same man that had just left him.
"Ouch!" Joseph exclaimed when he got head butted. He glared at the apologetic looking man, who was also holding the side of his head, and put his helmet back on.
They both looked up the stairs as pounding feet echoed to them. Joseph turned and was just about to rush into the room he'd come from when armored men blocked both up and down stairs.
"Hmm," Joseph heard the man grumble thoughtfully to himself. "This could be a problem." Joseph stared incredulously at the completely understated statement.
"Hey, soldier," an insolent voiced man addressed Joseph from behind. "Back off, that one's mine." Normally, Joseph was a level tempered man, thoroughly reasonable, in Joseph's opinion. But he
really didn't like this soldier's attitude.
"Oh?" Joseph asked almost conversationally. "You're into that sort of thing are you?" He turned around to face the soldier. The insolent soldier looked about to give a retort, when his companions on either side of him whacked him over the head. The insolent soldier looked at his companions in surprise, then back at Joseph. His eyes widened and he immediately jumped to salute smartly.
"Sorry, sergeant," the not-so-insolent-anymore soldier apologized profusely. Joseph blinked and looked down at the coat he was now wearing. Would you imagine that, the fat man lying flat on his face not a hundred feet from them was a sergeant! How interesting.
"I'm glad to see you have some manners on you, corporal," Joseph adopted a disdainful tone and stood up self-importantly. "The men in my regiment at least know that this is not a sport. We are here to carry out orders, to keep the future queen and her father safe. Not to satisfy your ego." The corporal shrank from Joseph's harsh words.
"This young soldier, for instance," Joseph turned to the gangly man, whose sword was out again. "He has served me well. He even dressed as one of the commoners to find out things for me. Well done, private. You've done well." Joseph patted the now bewildered looking man on the back.
"He seems terribly confused for someone who's supposed to be a spy," the corporal's eyes narrowed in suspicion. Joseph felt the first hints of panic; this corporal was too smart for his own good.
"I-uh, didn't know he intended to announce it, that's all," the newly promoted private covered calmly, well, sort of. He looked at Joseph inquiringly.
"It's alright, private," Joseph forced his face to hide his unexplainable sudden urge to jump in the air in jubilation. "We don't need you in the dungeons, after all. Well," he sighed and turned to go through the soldiers heading downstairs. "We'd better go report to the colonel."
"Yes. Yes, of course," the corporal agreed. "And we should report to ours." He turned to go upstairs. "Men, follow me."
"Who died and put him in charge?" one of the men muttered to a fellow soldier as they wandered past Joseph and the private.
"Let him play, Corbin," the fellow soldier answered pleasantly. "At least we don't have to worry about it." He turned to Joseph with a contemplating expression. "You seem to have lost a little weight, sergeant."
"Uh…yes," Joseph answered quickly. "My wife doesn't like me fat."
"Yes. Yes, wives can be a little silly about those sorts of things," the soldier agreed with a slight twinkle in his eye. "You seem to need a new fitting, I see. Just in case you forget where our tailor is, go straight down to the next door on the right." Joseph blinked, and shared a bewildered glance with the private.
"You might want to get the private in uniform too," Corbin added conversationally, as the last of the soldiers filed past. "Otherwise you'll probably have to answer a lot of tedious questions, which would be a complete waste of time and a plain annoyance."
"Yes, questions are always annoying," the fellow soldier's eyes definitely twinkled merrily this time. "You might want to get the Brockovich's crest off, while you're at it," he pointed at an impression of a pig's head on Joseph's left shoulder. "They're a well-known family. Got their own spies everywhere, and would sell out anyone to get higher up in the succession to the throne." Joseph blinked.
"Terrible, isn't it?" Corbin asked in an insincere tone.
"Not that there's any chance of them getting at it for another good 15-20 years. The king's as healthy as a young man, and his daughter's still there, showing some promise," the fellow soldier sighed dramatically. "Imagine their faces if our little princess takes over the throne herself. Ah, well. Goodbye, sergeant." The man saluted smartly, and Corbin followed suit.
"Uh-uh, yes," Joseph floundered as he too, saluted. "Goodbye," he blinked at the men's uniforms. "Lieutenant, lieutenant." With both their eyes twinkling, the two lieutenants headed upstairs as if they had all the time in the world.
Joseph sighed in relief and started down the steps, the private left standing with his sword limp at his side.
"Are you coming?" Joseph called behind him. The gangly man jumped, put his sword away and scurried after Joseph.
tbc
