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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
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As I looked at this, I found, to my surprise, that I've only written about Lex in one story, The Portrait. In that one, the police broke into Lois's apartment and hit him with a barrage of bullets just as he was blasting Clark and Lois with double ought buckshot from a short barrelled shotgun. Heavens, I'll have to do something about my neglect of him. He's too delicious a villain to ignore and so much fun to write.  Jude 
"Simplify. Simplify."
Henry David Thoreau
"To see what is in front of one's nose is a constant struggle."
George Orwell
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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I can't think of any other ways in which Lex has been killed in fanfic, but I can think of one way in which certain folcs -- you know who you are  -- once contemplated killing him. We were going around the Wedgwood factory at the time and saw a particularly fierce looking glazing oven / kiln. It worked rather like a conveyor belt, with flames that were blue hot belching inwards from all directions. We discussed at the time just how fit a way that would be for Lex to go. Ah, the things we find to talk about on our days out! Oh, and one last thing: As CJ Kent's attorney, I would like that point out that, my client has at no time thrown Lex Luthor -- or anyone else, for that matter -- out of a window.
Luthor's demise was entirely his own doing; had he not tresspassed onto Lois Lane's property, where he subsequently attacked my client, he would not have died. Luthor was carried out of the window by his own momentum while my client was doing his utmost to protect his own life and the life of his companion.
Please do not libel Mr Kent in such a way again. To do so may lead to prosecution.
Yours sincerely, etc etc Chris
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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 What contemplating a Hansel and Gretel moment for Lex? <innocent> I could say I hadn't thought about it... but then I'd be lying. Laura (mad potter)
“Rules only make sense if they are both kept and broken. Breaking the rule is one way of observing it.”
--Thomas Moore
"Keep an open mind, I always say. Drives sensible people mad, I know, but what did we ever get from sensible people? Not poetry or art or music, that's for sure."
--Charles de Lint, Someplace to Be Flying
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Beat Reporter
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OP
Beat Reporter
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Thanks to all of you for replying to this thread and supplying me with ways and means.  You'll see the results next week. I chose those that best fit a scansion, not necessarily the best deaths - although Phil might say that *any* death is a good one!  Hazel, who will post Sunday
Lois: You know the deal.
Clark: Superman gets the guys in capes, Lois and Clark get the guys in suits.
-- Action Comics 827
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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I read a story at Anne's place recently that had Lex dying from the overzealous attentions of an amorous Clark Kent. It wasn't very discriptive, but the image brought to mind was disturbing to say the least. Major EWWWWWW!
TEEEJ
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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I know that story. It's hilarious!!  Wendy
Just a fly-by! *waves*
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Yes, I'd thought about pointing it out, but... well... I thought Hazel would rather not know PJ
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed.
He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement."
"You can say that again," she told him.
"I have a...."
"Oh, shut up."
--Stardust, Caroline K
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Why no, Hazel. <innocent> Hansel and Gretel threw the *witch* into the oven....
Laura
“Rules only make sense if they are both kept and broken. Breaking the rule is one way of observing it.”
--Thomas Moore
"Keep an open mind, I always say. Drives sensible people mad, I know, but what did we ever get from sensible people? Not poetry or art or music, that's for sure."
--Charles de Lint, Someplace to Be Flying
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Columnist
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Columnist
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As CJ Kent's attorney, I would like that point out that, my client has at no time thrown Lex Luthor -- or anyone else, for that matter -- out of a window. My twisted and demented muse just thought of another way to kill Lex, and you gave me the idea: Sue him to death. Now I may have to write the fic.
I believe there's a hero in all of us that keeps us honest, gives us strength, makes us noble, and finally allows us to die with pride, even though sometimes we have to be steady and give up the thing we want the most. Even our dreams. -- Aunt May, Spider-Man 2
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Blogger
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Blogger
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In _Lois's Secret_ I had him jump off his penthouse balcony when he thought he was being haunted by the ghost of Lois Lane.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Hazel's taken these ideas and come up with a hilarious song parody... see it here: http://www.lcficmbs.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=001785 PJ
"You told me you weren't like other men," she said, shaking her head at him when the storm of laughter had passed.
He grinned at her - a goofy, Clark Kent kind of a grin. "I have a gift for understatement."
"You can say that again," she told him.
"I have a...."
"Oh, shut up."
--Stardust, Caroline K
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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I had to resurrect this thread so that I could add to it another Luthor assassination. I know that Hazel's long since finished and performed her filk, but it was this thread which made me decide that, in Don't Be A Stranger, Lex had to die. Chris, your reminder of our Wedgwood trip didn't actually give me the idea, although (as Yvonne told me) it has similarities! Certainly, death by fire is a fitting end for the most evil of human villains. Wendy
Just a fly-by! *waves*
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Columnist
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I have to say that Lex getting killed off is a good thing. I find his character deserving horrible things happening to him. Only one story did I find the ending unsatisfactory. In his attempt to infect Lois with HIV he is in fact infected. Then he is shot by I believe Gretchen Kelly. I thought it would have been a much more fitting end to have him live. Have it become known to the world that he was infected and how it happened. Then for him to quickly contract the disease and die a slow death from it alone. For a fictionaly character we all love hating it seems a fitting end that one of his own diabolical plans should bit him in the butt and get him.
I don't wish that on any real person and those who have contracted HIV they have my sincere sympathy and prayers.
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