Wedding Consequences: 4/?
by Nan Smith
Previously:
Clark's hand tightened around hers. "It's over, Lois," he said quietly. "Let it go. Beating yourself up over mistakes isn't going to do a bit of good. All I can do now -- all any of us can do -- is to make the best of things as they are. When we get back to Metropolis, I'll go to STAR Labs. There's a new researcher there; his name is Bernie Klein, and he's been studying Kryptonian physiology with the aim of helping me out if it ever turned out that I needed a doctor. He may be able to help me figure out what's happened -- whether I can reasonably expect to ever regain my powers or whether Superman is permanently retired."
"Clark do you think that maybe the long exposure to the cage had something to do with you being so sick? Some kind of radiation sickness, maybe?"
He shrugged. "How can I tell? I've never been sick before, even before I started to get my powers." He was studying the blank instrument board again. "I'm not human. Like Trask said, I'm an alien. I don't think Earth germs affect me the way they do other people, so you could be right."
"I hope you won't be shocked, Clark, but I'm not sorry Trask is dead," Lois said. "He was a dangerous lunatic. He wanted to kill Superman, and was perfectly willing to kill anybody else who got in his way. At least now he can't hurt anyone ever again." She hesitated and added, "And neither can Lex." She squeezed his hand. "Look, I'm going to want you to tell me everything about yourself later, but now I think you should try to get some sleep. You've just barely gotten over whatever was the matter with you. We've got a long walk ahead of us. I know you slept almost all day, but do you think you can sleep some more?"
"I think so," he said. "I hate to admit it, but I feel pretty wiped out."
"You're not telling me anything I don't know. Are you warm enough?"
He glanced down at the hodgepodge of clothing tucked around him. "I think so. Are you?"
"I'm wearing three layers of clothes and have all this stuff over me. You go to sleep. I'll be fine."
**********
And now, Part 4:
Lois stayed awake for some time after her partner had fallen asleep.
The cockpit of the little plane was not large and the quarters were thoroughly cramped. Clark's sleeping face was barely two feet away and she could hear him breathing softly. He didn't snore, she thought in surprise. Her father's snoring had resounded throughout the house when she was little, and it had always brought a sense of security to her -- at least before the big breakup. She had known that her Daddy was there to protect her from the monsters under the bed. She had missed it when he was gone. And Claude had snored, too. She had thought that all men did.
He snuffled a little in his sleep and shifted his position slightly. She smiled, reaching out to touch his cheek lightly.
The moon was rising, round and full, flooding the landscape outside with pale light. Through the windshield of the plane, she could see the silvered field and the line of scraggly bushes that marked the streambed.
Her gaze returned to Clark. He had removed his glasses and she studied Superman's face in the moonlight. His hair was mussed, and there were lines that she had never noticed before her disastrous wedding to Lex.
She supposed that she could have chosen to be angry with him. A few days ago she might have been, she knew, but now she just didn't have the energy, and much as she might want to be, his reasons for not telling her were compelling, especially now, after she had been forced to face the truth about the man that she had married. Lex Luthor, sociopath and criminal mastermind, murderer many times over, and would-be murderer of her partner. The man who would have killed Superman.
If he had discovered Superman's real identity, Lex would have taken the knowledge and used it to attack Clark. She didn't doubt that for an instant. He would have threatened Martha and Jonathan Kent for certain. Clark would have been forced to protect them every second. Lex would have used them to try to control Superman, just as he had controlled the lives of countless other more insignificant persons. As he had begun to try to control her, even before their wedding. Clark's only safety, and the safety of those he loved, depended on the Superman disguise and the fact that probably very few persons could conceive of someone like him living the life of an ordinary newsman. He hadn't been free to take the risk of telling her when so much depended on the deception.
She sighed softly. How many times had she hurt him without knowing or caring? He had loved her for months. That part was obvious now, but she had been so dazzled by the man in tights that she hadn't looked farther than the powers, the magnificent body and the flashy suit. She had never stopped to pay attention to the man who worked next to her every day, even though he had quietly and without fuss wormed his way into her heart.
He'd called her a snob once. He had been right, she reflected bitterly. Back then, she couldn't conceive of falling in love with a naïve country boy. Lois Lane, sophisticated city woman, wouldn't settle for anyone so far beneath her. And yet, it had been Clark all along. She just hadn't been willing to see it until her world had come crashing down around her and Clark had been there to pick up the pieces.
She reached out to brush back the lock of hair that fell persistently onto his forehead. His skin was cool and dry in the chill of the plane's interior. At least the fever was gone now, thank god. For a while during the afternoon, she had feared that she was going to lose him too, and that would have been too much to bear.
But he'd gotten into this situation because of her. In a way, it had been she who had brought him to this point.
The feverish ramblings earlier in the day had driven that point mercilessly home, no matter how much that he denied the fact now. Lex's name, over and over. The cage, and his inability to get away. His pain and hopelessness as he fought his battle to escape, and his desperation to save her.
And the one-sided conversation with Lex. He'd repeated that so many times that she could have recited it by heart. That part had been chillingly vivid.
And his conviction that he was going to die.
Lois shivered. She had hoped against hope that that part had been a dream, knowing all the while that it wasn't. She could almost visualize Lex standing there and taunting his victim with that amused, superior little smile that he had when he knew he had the upper hand.
But in the end, Lex had been just a little careless while he basked in his victory. Somehow, Clark had used the last of his strength to reach the key. He'd got the door open finally and, against all odds, managed to get away, barely able to crawl.
She slipped a hand over his and held it tightly. He'd nearly died because of her. She had even more to forgive herself for than she'd thought.
Clark obviously had no intention of telling her what he had endured in those hours, but she would never forget the horror as she listened to him mumble and fight his battle over and over again in his sleep. He had fought so hard for her as well as himself, because of his determination to save her from Lex.
And ironically, the loss of his powers had been the deciding factor in the end. If Superman had been able to fly he would certainly have felt duty-bound to save Lex when he jumped, and then she would have been trapped forever, bound to a monster possibly for life. She would never mention to Clark the relief that she had heard in his voice at the fact that Lex was dead. Hate didn't come naturally to a man like Clark. He could usually find some sliver of good in even the worst of the criminals that they had exposed over the last few months, but even Superman could hate, given a good enough reason. He hated Lex, she thought, even if he hadn't acknowledged it, and she was equally sure that he wouldn't have let it stop him from saving the man if it had been within his power. That was something that she would never mention to him, either.
"Oh Clark," she murmured very softly, "what have I done to you?"
The infuriating tears were leaking down her cheeks again and she let them fall in silence. Clark didn't blame her, but she blamed herself and always would. At the very least, though, she could learn from this. Trying to control everything and everybody around her, never being willing to admit she was wrong, even to herself, never listening to anyone else because she always knew best ... Those were the qualities that had gotten her into this mess. They were what she was going to have to try to change. Some, anyway. Clark deserved that from her, if nothing else. If anyone had proven that he wouldn't betray her, even in the worst circumstances, it was her amazing partner. And if, as he had said, he still wanted her after everything that had happened, she was his.
Even if Superman never returned.
**********
Clark awoke at the first light of dawn. He lay still for a moment, looking out at the pink sky with its layer of pink-tinged clouds. It was just after five.
Lois was sound asleep beside him, her hand resting over his. He smiled a little at the discovery but the sight of the streaks on her face where tears had run caused the smile to fade. She must have been crying after he'd gone to sleep. He wished he could help, but Lois had it fixed firmly in her head that everything that had happened was her fault and nothing he could say had been able to shake the conviction.
True, her refusal to believe him had been maddening at the time, but the mastermind behind this mess had been Lex Luthor, and it was on Luthor's shoulders where Clark squarely placed the blame. If he hadn't schemed to destroy everything that Lois depended on, if he hadn't manipulated and tricked her, none of this would have happened. He just didn't know how to make her see that. She was determined to blame herself, and it was tearing him apart. A contrite and submissive Lois simply wasn't in character. He couldn't regret Luthor's death, any more than he could regret that she now knew his secret -- not that it would matter if his powers never returned.
Very carefully he turned his palm under her relaxed fingers and clasped her hand in his. He had dreamed of being able to do this, to openly admit that he loved her, for months. He just hadn't envisioned it as being in circumstances such as this. If he could turn back time, would he have his powers back if he had to give up Lois? The answer to that was decisively no. Given the choice, the powers took second place.
His stomach growled suddenly and he grimaced. It wasn't often that he felt genuine hunger, but in the last day and a half he had eaten half a chicken sandwich and drunk half a dozen cups of water. He was definitely hungry and there was nothing else to eat in the plane. Maybe, he thought, they could find some blackberries growing out there or something. They seemed to grow just about anywhere. Or maybe there were fish in the stream.
Carefully, he disengaged his hand from Lois's and tucked hers back under the miscellaneous pieces of clothing that she had used for a blanket. There was no point in waking her up yet.
A moment later, he was pulling extra shirts on over the one he was already wearing. Out from under his own covers, it was *cold*! He'd never been uncomfortable in the cold before, even though he had been aware of the temperature. This being without his powers was certainly becoming an education. Even as a child, he'd never been really uncomfortable in the extremes of temperature. His mother had frequently expressed her exasperation at him in the mornings when he would start off on his walk to the school bus and forget to take his jacket. The jacket he had brought on this trip, unfortunately, was no more than a windbreaker. Kansas in summer was always hot, even at night. He would remember this situation in the future, even if his powers came back someday, he decided. Taking a warm jacket wasn't such an inconvenience and there were occasions when weird situations popped up out of the blue -- especially when you weren't prepared for them.
His legs were cold too, he realized, after he put on the third shirt. He grabbed the pair of jeans that had been part of his covers and pulled them on over the ones he was already wearing. Hmm -- pretty tight, but wearable, and the difference in comfort was noticeable with the extra insulation. Had Lois left the suitcases out? There were extra socks in his bag, and it looked as if his feet were going to need them, too.
Carefully, he slid out of his seat. His legs were a little wobbly, but he felt immeasurably better than yesterday. With great care, he opened the door of the plane and, clutching the doorframe for support, made his way to the ground.
The suitcases were sitting a few feet away. He opened them, rummaged for a minute and retrieved his extra socks. He was going to look ridiculous in all this stuff, but at least he'd be warm. Besides, there was no one to see him but Lois and she was wearing extra clothing too. She wasn't likely to criticize.
A few minutes later, carrying one of his T-shirts as an impromptu bag, he was making his way through the hip-high weeds toward the line of bushes that Lois had indicated the night before. If there was a stream there, he might find blackberry bushes growing, he thought.
His legs seemed to be less wobbly now, although he stopped to rest, breathing hard, every few steps. The sun was fully up and the rays felt good on his face. Birds were singing everywhere, their morning songs filling the air around him. It they hadn't been in such a mess, he would have enjoyed the scenery more, he thought.
Eventually, he made it to the stream and sank down on the ground to rest. Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea, since he was still recovering, but the thought hadn't occurred to him at the time. How long did it take someone to get over a high fever, anyway, he wondered. He had no experience to tell him, but he hoped it would be fairly soon. They were going to have a hard time getting out of here if he couldn't stay on his feet for more than a few minutes at a time.
Blackberries, it appeared, had taken root here all right. The tangled, thorny vines were everywhere. And the thorns were extremely sharp, he discovered very quickly. Being Superman had given him more advantages than he had realized. For many years while growing up, he had wanted to be like everybody else. Now he was, and he was discovering that it wasn't nearly as great as he had imagined. Humans had to be so careful! There were so many things in the environment that were sharp or heavy or just plain dangerous, that he'd never had to worry about before. If his powers ever came back, he'd never wish to be normal again.
He rested often, but he was able to gather plenty of blackberries. The reddish-purple juice stained his fingers and the T-shirt, but even if the stains never came out he figured that he could stand the cost of a new T-shirt. He ate almost as many blackberries as he picked, and discovered that as his stomach filled, the feeling of weakness abated somewhat, although he was still shaky. Maybe all he had needed was food and liquid, he thought hopefully.
He was working so hard that he even began to feel a little overheated, and stopped to take off his extra shirts. Exercise had never made him sweat before, although he knew that normal people did. This being normal thing definitely wasn't all it was cracked up to be.
At last, he stopped. His hands were trembling with fatigue, but the bag made out of his T-shirt was full enough that Lois, who was never a heavy eater anyway, should have enough to eat. He sucked at one of the many punctures in his hands and regarded several places where tiny black thorns had embedded themselves under his skin. Oh well, maybe Lois could help him get those out with a pin or something, if they had any. The important thing was that they weren't going to go hungry, even if this wasn't exactly bacon and eggs.
The thought of the walk back to the plane was a little daunting. His legs ached and even though he definitely felt better than yesterday, he still didn't feel back to normal -- even human normal. A little beat of pain had begun to throb behind his eyes. Maybe a long rest before he started back would be a good idea. At least it was warmer now and the rays of the sun felt wonderful on his face and arms. He sank down on a big rock and closed his eyes, soaking up the sunlight and waiting for the feeling of fatigue to diminish.
Within minutes, he was pulling on his extra shirts again. It was amazing how quickly he had become chilled after he stopped moving around. Was this normal, or was his fever returning? His legs and arms still ached, but he'd thought that was the result of the activity. He buttoned up the shirts and noticed at once that he was more comfortable. Probably it was all right, he assured himself. He'd just cooled off, and the air temperature wasn't really that high. He'd rest a little longer and he would start back to the plane.
Bracing his elbows on his knees, he rested his forehead on his hands and closed his eyes.
**********
"Clark? Are you all right?" Lois's hand on his shoulder and her worried voice awakened him from the light doze into which he had fallen.
He sat up quickly. "Yeah, I'm fine."
"When I woke up you were gone," she said, "but I followed the trail you made here. What happened?"
"I was getting breakfast." He rubbed his face with one hand and reached down to pick up his harvest. "Blackberries."
"Is that what they are? I saw them yesterday, but I was afraid they might be poison or something."
"No," Clark said. "I figured they'd be better than nothing. They're a little sourer than the ones from the supermarket, but they're good to eat."
"And they're definitely better than nothing," Lois said. "Are you sure you're okay, Clark? You were asleep when I found you."
"I was resting," he said. "I guess I tried to do a little too much at once, but I'm ready to go back to the plane now."
She took the bag of berries and tried one of the fruits. "You're right; they're a little sour, but they're good, and I'm starved. Let's go back. Then we can decide what we're going to do."
Clark snagged a berry from a nearby vine, avoiding the thorns, and popped it into his mouth. "Go ahead and eat," he suggested. "I already ate mine while I was picking yours."
"I can tell. You've got juice stains on your mouth," she told him. "But thanks. I just hope you can figure out some way to get us out of here."
"Well ..." He glanced around at the empty field and at the mountain view in the background. "Since I haven't got any idea where we are, the only thing I can suggest is that we go downstream. Sooner or later, we'll probably come to some kind of civilization. And who knows; maybe there's a search on for us by now."
"I sure hope so," Lois said. "This isn't exactly how I planned on spending my vacation." She hesitated. "I guess there's no sign of your powers coming back yet, huh?"
He shook his head. "I'm afraid not. I have to accept the possibility that they may never come back."
"Well, I don't," Lois said. "You said the first time you encountered this stuff it took your powers away for two days. You were exposed a lot longer this time, so it just makes sense that it will take longer for them to come back."
"I hope you're right," he said.
"Want to make a bet on it?" she inquired, popping another berry into her mouth.
He laughed softly. "I never bet with Lois Lane," he said.
"I knew you were a smart man," she observed. "Now, if you'll just give yourself time to get well, you can prove it. Let's head back to the plane. We'll go slowly, and if you need to rest, tell me. Got it?"
"Got it ma'am," he said and pretended to dodge the light punch she threw at him.
**********
tbc
