Are we really at part 6 already? And do I really have to post this now? I know, I know...I said Thursday and it's Thursday. But just so you all know, part 7 isn't quite finished yet...definitely sometime next week though. 
From part 5:
Had H.G. Wells known? Was he playing with the world like one cosmic jigsaw puzzle, finding missing pieces in different universes so he could have his precious picture of Utopia? She didn’t think he’d be that cruel, but now she didn’t know anymore. She didn’t know anything. What if Wells never came back? What if Clark was never destined to come back and Wells had just been righting two wrongs? Her heart ached unbearably. Curling up under the covers, she tried in vain to drive away the cold that had leached into her soul.
***
Part 6:
They didn’t say much to each other the following day. Lois had still picked him up for work, but they’d rode in uncomfortable silence on the way in. Now she was sitting at her desk, studiously ignoring him. And *he* couldn’t concentrate. He was supposed to be getting more background information for their investigation on Mindy Church.
Their investigation.
Would she even want to work with him still? She’d mentioned it in passing this morning, but the fire he’d seen in her eyes from yesterday was gone. In fact, she’d been avoiding eye contact really, so he wasn’t sure if she was still excited about the story or not. He couldn’t imagine Lois *not* wanting to work on a story, but there really wasn’t much for two people to do right now, so her ambivalence might not be towards the story. Just him.
Clark was at a loss. Did he apologize again? Or would she be too mad to listen? She hadn’t spoken much to him today and certainly not about last night. He’d really screwed up this time. He’d worked hard over the past few months to earn her trust and now he’d thrown it all away in one stupid moment. She must hate him.
There had to be a way to make it right. To let her see that she could trust him again. But to tell the truth, he wasn’t so sure she *should* trust him. He didn’t trust himself. Not when everything in his being was telling him that she belonged to him was his. An image of Tarzan and Jane popped into his head briefly, but that wasn’t what he meant. It was like Lois was his other half. Like this silly notion of soulmates that he’d never taken much stock in until now. Lois completed him like no one else had even come close to doing. Even still, he knew it wasn’t right. He was just confused. Lois wasn’t his any more than…well…any more than "his" Lois might have been Clark’s. He just didn’t belong in this universe. Unfortunately, he was stuck here.
He wondered what H.G. Wells had been thinking. Was this all part of his plan? For him to fall for Lois? Was Clark not coming back? Was he supposed to stay here and take his place permanently? At first, that notion had seemed foolish, fantastical. But as the weeks went by, he couldn’t help but think that maybe it wasn’t so foolish. He looked over at Lois, busily typing away at her desk. Or maybe foolish was exactly what it was. There was no way that she’d fall for him. She loved herClark too much. He couldn’t blame her for that. Her enduring love almost gave him hope that the same kind of love could exist for him. That is, if his Lois hadn’t died.
No, he couldn’t…wouldn’t be the one to tarnish that bond. Or Clark’s memory, if it turned out that’s all that remained of him.
So, while it really hurt to have Lois shut him out like this, it helped too. He’d have some time to cool off, so to speak. And it also gave him time to force his mind and body into agreement. His libido had to understand what they’d begun last night could not, under any circumstances, be finished.
Ever.
Now, he just had to figure out how to get them back on speaking terms with one another. Surely they couldn’t go on like this for long. They still had the façade to uphold. They were still supposed to be a happily engaged couple. Not to mention, with Lois’ expanding figure, they’d have to announce their "happy" news soon.
Lois was busy at her computer, trying conscientiously to ignore Clark. After last night, she wasn’t so sure she could trust herself around him anymore. This morning she’d woken up from a disturbing dream. Clark had made love to her tirelessly and afterwards, he held her tight and told her how happy he was that she’d let him take Clark’s place. She’d opened her eyes, relieved to find that it’d only been a dream.
How could she betray Clark like she had? While she conceded that her confusion had been understandable, she still felt like she’d been cheating on her fiancé, especially when they *had* continued in her dream. Not many people – if she’d been able to tell them the situation – would fault her. She had believed it was her Clark she was kissing. Or rather, she’d thought she’d been dreaming. But what if she hadn’t uttered the words that had halted Clark in his tracks? What if he hadn’t stopped? Would they have continued? Would she have cheated on Clark?
She just didn’t know. And that was what was killing her. Was it loneliness that had caused her lapse? She’d thought their connection was special, that she’d recognize Clark just by the way their souls connected. There was an amazing feeling of rightness every time she and Clark had kissed or even just if they were sharing and intimate dinner. Wasn’t that supposed to be unique to her and Clark? The thought that it might not be, broke her heart. What if she was right and H.G. Wells had really brought the other Clark here to take his place…permanently? What if this soulmates idea wasn’t meant to be restricted to one universe?
And if that *was* true, who did HG Wells think he was? Interfering with the universe and *her* life? What right did he have? Did he get a kick out of playing God? Was he on some fantastical power trip? If she ever saw that insufferable little man again, he’d better watch out. Why couldn’t he have just left well enough alone? Was it really so bad if there wasn’t a Utopia? Lois sure as heck didn’t care; she wouldn’t be here to see it. And who’s to say her descendants wouldn’t better the world just because Clark's secret got out? In her opinion, Wells had only complicated her life more. Made it infinitely more miserable. And what about Clark? He’d been ripped from his home and his friends and dumped here. She knew how unhappy he was. She could tell this was killing him inside. HG Wells was a despicable, horrible man. He’d be getting more than a piece of her mind if and when he came back for Clark.
She let out an aggravated sigh. This whole situation was too confusing and infuriating to contemplate. At least without depressing her more than she already was. She had to focus on something else. Her computer screen stared back at her blankly. Clark was doing the research on Mindy Church and there wasn’t too much she could help with at this point. That was almost a blessing though, because she didn’t’ think she could be near Clark right now. Unfortunately, that left her with nothing to do. She’d already finished up the fluff piece Perry had given her for the day. Maybe if she browsed through her old story notes, she’d find something. Anything. She chanced a quick glance a Clark; he was still talking to Jimmy. Well, at least he’d found a friend in all this mess.
Scrolling through the files in her notes folder, her breath caught when she got to the ‘c’s. There was on document simply named, "Congo." Impulsively, she clicked on it. Their universes were different, but she and this other Lois had obviously both gone to the Congo for a gunrunning story back in ’93. Maybe she could retrace her steps and find where and if she’d escaped the other Lois’ fate.
There were a few holes in her notes, but she’d narrowed it down to two situations in which she might have…not made it. There had been one night outside of Brazzaville that she’d narrowly escaped getting shot by one of the guerilla soldiers. She’d had to hide herself out in the forest that night with nothing but her jacket and the few essentials she’d kept in her knapsack. Maybe the other Lois had taken a different turn while running and had gotten shot. Or caught. If she had, she was probably dead.
Those men didn’t take prisoners; they executed. She’d been held captive for a few terrifying days. If she hadn’t escaped when she did and led the local authorities back to their bunker, she was sure she’d be dead. That’s what they had promised her from what she’d been able to decipher. But for all she really knew, they did take captives. Maybe her counterpart *had* been held prisoner and later escaped, going into hiding so that they wouldn’t find her. Maybe she hadn’t had that same contact in Brazzaville that had gotten her safely home. There was a chance she was still out there, hiding, laying low. And if she knew anything, Lois Lane would make herself impossible to find, even for a man with super powers. That meant if her counterpart was alive, she would be the only one who could find her. She paused…or at least it was up to her to give Clark the leads he hadn’t had in the past. She felt it was the least she could do after all he’d sacrificed and endured because of her.
She looked over at him and found him staring at her intently. He looked away quickly and suddenly found whatever it was on his computer screen fascinating. She moved her eyes back to her own screen, though hers wasn’t quite so interesting anymore.
What must he think of her? Granted, she’d thought she’d been dreaming, but he hadn’t known that was how it started. He must feel so used. She’d gotten him all worked up and tossed…well, no, he’d stopped them. But because of what she’d said. He’d been caught up in the moment until she’d reminded him that he wasn’t the one she really wanted. She’d probably broken his heart. Or at least bruised his ego. How were they supposed to go back to the way they were? Sure, their relationship had been odd to say the least, but it hadn’t been this awkward. She should apologize to him.
As soon as she *didn’t* have the urge to…have her way with him.
By now, everyone in the newsroom probably thought they were fighting. Well fine, they were used to that. Right? Who knew, maybe it would get that ridiculous idea of marriage out of their heads. At least for a while. Lois bit her lip in an effort to hold back the tears that threatened at the thought. She knew for certain that they’d never take the ruse that far. But it brought back the same fears that had been plaguing her since this Clark had arrived. What if Clark never came back? What if H.G. Wells never came back for the other Clark? If that were her future, *would* she marry Clark? *Could* she marry Clark? Could she settle for second best if that what it came down to? Was their connection strong enough, more than just a complicated attraction? And if she made that decision, the one that would surely break her heart, would Clark settle for her?
No! she couldn’t think about that. Clark *was* coming home. He *had* to. But what on Earth was she supposed to do in the meantime?
***
Clark sighed heavily. Lois still wasn’t talking to him. Throughout the day, he’d seen her emotions range from anger (probably at him) to excitement (something she’d been working on) to extreme sadness. After last night, she was probably missing her Clark even more now. He knew she didn’t have many friends and certainly not any that she could tell about this. He’d counted himself among her friends; she’d done so much for him, had always been there for him since he’d been here. He’d even hoped to think that she thought of him as a friend too, but he was sure she couldn’t consider him a friend at all now. Friends didn’t betray trust like that. Friends didn’t come on to you when your fiancé was away. Friends just didn’t do things like that. He wished he could be there for her. Be someone she could talk to, confide in. But he was certain that was the last thing she wanted, if anything, from him.
Especially now.
Then again, there were always Clark’s parents. He knew she probably wouldn’t divulge last nights’ events to them, but at least she could talk to them. He should offer to fly her out there.
Though the possibility that she *might* tell them about the other night scared him more than he wanted to admit. They would hate him too. Well, okay, maybe not hate, he didn’t think that was within their capacity, but they certainly wouldn’t respect him anymore. He didn’t want to lose that. It would be like losing his parents all over, but worse. The option not to talk to him again would be theirs. Not some evil twist of fate that he could lay blame to. All the same, Clark’s conscience couldn’t deny Lois the comfort of family. Not if he could help her. It wouldn’t be fair and that darned Boy Scout blood of his wouldn’t allow him not to. Even if it meant giving up the only love he’d known in twenty years.
His decision made, his only obstacle now was whether or not he should be the first to break their silence. Should he be the one to offer the olive branch of…civility…between them? He remembered Lois telling him about the fights she and Clark had had. She rarely backed down first. She didn’t like admitting she was wrong. Not that she was in the wrong here. He was. Completely. So, yes, it’d be up to him to break the silence. He owed her an apology. A big one. He only hoped she’d accept it.
***
The next day passed with the same awkwardness. The tension had been so tangible all day that coworkers had stopped to ask if he and Lois were alright, if the wedding was still on. He was touched by their concern. His coworkers back home had never been that sympathetic. But as much as he appreciated their concern, he couldn’t and wouldn’t tell them what was wrong. He’d just smiled weakly and said he didn’t want to talk about it. They’d listened and understood, all except for Jimmy. Clark felt badly about not confiding in him. Clark and Jimmy were supposed to be buddies. Jimmy had looked hurt, though he’d attempted to brush it off as nothing. He just couldn’t tell anyone. Not even Jimmy. Yet another reason why he and Lois needed to get past this.
He’d do it tonight. When she dropped him off at his place. He obviously couldn’t do it at work, though it felt like he was putting it off. In truth, he was a little. He could’ve done it last night. The silence had just been too awkward. That and he was still arguing with his emotions. The air had felt charged with sexual tension, though he knew it was purely on his end. But his feelings, no matter how intense, couldn’t’ take precedence here. He had to suck it up, be a man. Or a gentleman, rather. The fact that he still wanted her, ached for her, didn’t matter. They’d be headed home in about an hour. He had until then to compose himself. Meanwhile, he had a story to finish.
***
She couldn’t stand it any longer. As much as she didn’t want to be around him, as difficult as she found it to control her desires, she missed him. Clark had become a good friend since he’d been here. She was lonely, not just for *her* Clark, but for this Clark. The one that *was* here. And she could tell he was lonely too. He didn’t really have any friends here. Well, Jimmy was a sort of friend, but when you got right down to it, there wasn’t anyone that either of them could talk to about anything that was really going on. She missed having someone she could be herself with. She hadn’t been herself in a long time. Not since Clark had left. But with this Clark, she could come close. He knew what she was going through. She knew what *he* was going through. They could comfort each other.
As long as they didn’t have a repeat of the other night. She wasn’t too worried about that happening, though. She was too much on edge at this point. But even if she did apologize and they started speaking to one another again, it would be different from now on. She’d messed up. Because of the uncontrollable hormonal behavior she’d been experiencing lately (which she still hadn’t determined if it was her pregnancy or just missing Clark…or both…causing them), they’d have to be guarded around each other. Clark was probably already wary of her. What kind of friend was she to play with his emotions like that, take advantage of his feelings for someone she wasn’t? Though her behavior had been unintentional, most likely Clark hadn’t seen it that way. Tonight, she’d apologize to him. She just hoped that he’d forgive her faux pas. They’d be done for the day soon, but they had a little time left. She needed to calm her nerves. And her hormones. Lois looked over at him and their eyes locked for a moment before she looked down quickly and started to organize the files on her desk.
***
Oh, God. She was scared of him. Didn’t trust him. She’d averted he gaze so swiftly when she’d caught him staring. She didn’t look scared so much though, as she did hurt, hurt that he could do something like he’d done when she’d trusted him. Maybe she wouldn’t accept his apology. Maybe he just shouldn’t apologize at all. He could just leave. Let her get on with her life. If he staged some sort of public breakup, he could leave. Move somewhere far away. Then she’d be able to grieve for Clark’s absence publicly. She could hate him for leaving her alone and pregnant. And then maybe H.G. Wells would see the flaw in his little scheme, whatever it was, and he’d take him back home. Back to where he could be miserable all by himself. No more pretending. Pretending to be happy. Pretending that he wasn’t in love. Pretending that this wasn’t killing him inside. He could just be himself again. His lonely, miserable, pathetic self.
tbc...
