Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Fanfic Related Bulwer-Lytton 2004 Results

The Bulwer-Lytton results for 2004 are out, and there are some real beauties.

Winner: Historical Fiction
Galileo Galilei gazed expectantly through his newly invented telescope and then recoiled in sudden horror -- his prized thoroughbred's severed neck, threateningly discarded in a murky mass of interstellar dust (known to future generations as the Horsehead Nebula), left little doubt about where the Godfather and his Vatican musclemen stood on the recent geocentric/heliocentric debate.
Don Mowbray, San Antonio, TX

Dishonorable Mention: Science Fiction
Criminy, thought Francine as she left the birthing center, if the baby's an unknown life-form, it probably means Ricky wasn't really from West Hartford, either.
David Wyman, Goffstown, NH

Miscellaneous Dishonorable Mentions
The day dawned much like any other day, except that the date was different.
Geoff Blackwell, Bundaberg, Queensland, Australia

Her pendulous breasts swung first to the left, then to the right and finally in independent directions, much like semaphore signals, and although he couldn't understand semaphore, Kyle was sure they were saying, "Never ride the Tilt-A-Whirl with your grandma."
Randy Heil, Las Vegas, NV


Mere

ROTFL!

I loved this one:

Gringran Roojner had only gone to see the Great Warlock of Loowith to get his horoscope and he couldn't believe he'd been sent on a quest for the legendary Scromer of Nothleen to ask him for the answer to the Riddle of Shimmererer so that he could give it to the Guardians of Vooroniank, thereby gaining access to the Cave of Zothlianath where he would find the seldom seen Cowering of Groojanc, whose spittle was an absolute necessity in the making of the Warlock's famous pound cake, the kind with raisins.

Reminds me of Terry Pratchett, except his fiction is funny in a good way.

Also this one:

As Reynoldo lit the votive candle at the grotto for San Jose de los Platanos and prayed for the healthy delivery of his first child, he heard a disembodied voice say, "Your daughter will be 17 inches long," to which Reynoldo replied, "do you know the weight, too, San Jose?

Lol, these are great! I'd forgotten about this contest. My favorite (although it made me cringe! <g>) was: Oh, that's so wrong!

Kaylle