Dead or Alive pt. 6
“Yes?”
“He’s moved. The sensor picked it up. Actually, he’s moving around a lot.”
“Well, well, our superhero isn’t dead after all, is he? Funny how obvious that was. And did the kryptonite bullet hit him?”
“We got it in the coffin just before it was closed.”
“Good, good. Well, it’s nice how these enclosed spaces can work to our benefit, isn’t it!”
“Yes, sir. Will that be all, sir?”
“Yes indeed, you’ve done well. Very well indeed. Your bonus will be at the usual spot.”
The two men hung up their phones. “Why didn’t you tell him?”
“What, that that snoopy Lane woman took the kryptonite bullet out of the coffin? That Superman will be back on the streets in no time? No, I think living to see tomorrow is important. The boss will find out soon enough. By then maybe we’ll be halfway around the world.”
The man behind the steering wheel nodded, “Good thinking.”
“Let’s just pick up our money and get outta town while we can, before we’re pushing up daisies like the big blue cheese.”
Martha and Jonathan sat at Clark’s table eating breakfast. They’d left Perry for the night watch, but it was morning now. They were heading back to the cemetery to watch over Clark’s grave and hopefully him returning from the supposed dead.
Boy was he in trouble now. He’d really taken this dying thing too far. In some ways, he was better off dead. Martha sat stewing while Jonathan finished drinking his orange juice. He’d certainly not deserved all the acclamation of those thousands that had walked past his coffin. How was he going to turn this mess around? She’d have liked to take him out behind the back shed and give him an old fashioned Smallville whipping.
The phone in Clark’s apartment rang. “Hello?”
“Hi, Mrs. Kent?”
“Clark? Where are you?”
The words ‘where do you think’ almost escaped his lips. “No, this isn’t Clark. Can you get a message to him for me?”
“Sure. Where are you phoning from?” Martha went along with the ploy.
“A cell phone. I'm not sure whose it is, but someone gave it to me yesterday.”
“Are you alright? Do you want us to pick you up somewhere?”
“No. I'm not sure if this line’s tapped. I really can’t talk long. I just wanted to let Clark know that I'm alright. There’s no change in my situation. I had a run in with the kry…”
“Yes, dear. The police made some arrests last night. We’re waiting for you. Good luck.”
“Thanks, I’m not up to my old self yet, so I'm trying to get some sleep.”
She heard a chuckle in his voice and was glad he was keeping his spirits up. “Well, that’s good dear, you get your rest. Just phone us if you need anything. Perry has his cell phone with him. He’s been keeping watch. We’re going to relieve him now.”
“Okay. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“We know. I’ll tell Clark. He’ll be glad you phoned.”
Clark closed the cell phone, wondering what criminal element had given him the phone. Perhaps he’d just implicated his parents by phoning them.
A couple of days later as he lay there imagining all sorts of worst case scenarios, the phone rang. He looked at his hand that was holding it in the darkness. Should he ignore it?
What did he really have to lose by answering it? In no time the criminal element would find out that he was alive, whether by tapping the phone, by him answering it, or by exhuming the grave soon enough.
He opened the phone, “Hello?”
“I'm glad you answered.” It was Lois.
“Is this your phone?”
“Yes, of course it is. How else would I know the number?”
“I didn’t answer it before, I thought it may have been Luther’s or anyone’s trying to find out if Superman was still alive.”
“So, Superman, you’ve got a lot of explaining to do. Since you aren’t in a hurry to go anywhere, start talking!”
“What do you want me to say? That I'm a total idiot? That what I’ve done is unforgivable? That I deserve being where I am and that death is too good for a louse like me?”
“Well, that’s a good start.”
“Lois, I don’t think I really want to be having this conversation. Right now, I'm just trying to stay in my nearly dead state so I don’t use up too much air. I'm waiting for my powers to come back.” He paused. “Thank you for taking out the kryptonite, both kinds.” He lay silently.
“It’s okay, Superman. I'm just glad I came along when I did. I had no idea it was in there. Do you know how it got there?”
“Someone shot it in just before they closed the lid. I am quite fortunate they missed and it just landed beside me.”
“Are you alright?”
“I’ve been better.”
“So I guess you’ve lost your powers and can’t get out of there?”
“That about sums it up.”
“Superman, I don’t know what got you into this mess, but I'm going to help you get out of it if it’s the last thing I do.”
“I didn’t think you really cared if I were dead or alive, when I left your apartment the other day.”
“What? I was just mad, Superman.”
“Just mad? You seemed pretty serious to me. Being dead just seemed to be the obvious solution when I hit the pavement.”
“Are you kidding?”
“Do dead men lie?”
“You’re not dead.”
“I may be soon.”
“No you won’t. Look, you’ve got a cell phone. There’s no kryptonite in there with you, you’re going to get better and be out of there in no time.”
“Have you got any powers?”
“No.”
“I'm going to get you out of there.”
“You can’t, Lois. Whoever shot at me is going to make sure I don’t come out of this alive.”
“That never stopped me before.”
“Don’t do anything dangerous, Lois. It’s bad enough I'm in here. I don’t want you six feet under, too.”
“Thanks. Are you still there?”
“Yes, where did you think i went?"
“Why did you do that? Act dead?”
“I don’t know, Lois. It just seemed like a good idea at the time. I think it had a lot to do with the red kryptonite Perry’s son gave me. I was cleaning out my desk the other day and came across it. It fell open and…the rest is history.”
“Your desk?”
He caught himself, realizing his mistake. He groaned aloud in his small dark room. “Yes, Lois, my desk.”
“What desk?”
He sighed. “Since I'm as good as dead already, I might just as well tell you the whole story. I don’t suppose that you can hate me any worse than you do already, can you?”
“What desk, Superman?”
“If you recall, my name, Superman is not my real name. You gave that to me. My real name is Clark Kent.”
Silence.
Silence.
More silence.
“Goodnight, Lois, I’m going to get some sleep now. It’s been nice knowing you.”
He closed the cell phone and rolled over onto his side. He lay there for awhile, then punched the side of his box as hard as he could. It cracked. Great. Just what he needed. When he really wanted to be dead and buried six feet away from the wrath of Lois Lane, he was regaining his powers and had just broken his nice comfy bedroom.
He tried his x-ray vision and found that it worked. My there was a lot of dirt between him and daylight. He wasn’t ready to get out yet though. X-raying the area closely he found out a few things. There were chunks of kryptonite, the green kind, in the dirt between him and the surface. Actually, they were just beneath the surface where they couldn’t be seen.
He found his parents seated in lawn chairs beside a stone structure a dozen feet away. He turned his head in the other direction and continued to scope out the situation. Bingo. There in a tree quite a distance away was a rifle filled with kryptonite bullets. A man harder to find was holding it.
Down the street was a car. It contained two men. Both of them had guns with kryptonite bullets. Boy, there sure were a lot of those things around.
He could hear a cry for help. He smiled and opened his cell phone, feeling for the 911 buttons. “Hello. There’s a woman screaming for help. She’s about five miles from the Metropolis Cemetery.”
He thought about the layout of the Cemetery for a moment. “South of the cemetery. You’re welcome.”
He smiled. Being dead wasn’t so bad if you had a cell phone. Perhaps someone would get there in time.
Getting out was going to be the least of his problems, the way he figured it. The world thought Superman was dead. No telling how they had decided it happened. Lois was probably ready to shoot him with her own kryptonite bullet.
He relaxed and rolled over. The satin pillowcase felt nice against his cheek. From the distant sounds he was hearing, Metropolis was in the midst of a full scale riot. Every police car’s siren seemed to be blaring. Bank alarms and other security alarms were all going haywire. No doubt this was a big day in the life of every crook in town.
He drew back his arm and punched the side of his coffin again. It was all his fault, that was for sure. A few hours ago he’d have thought that the best thing for everybody was probably if he just went back to sleep. But now, the red kryptonite was dissipating from his system.
He felt around for another piece of candy. He fumbled around under his pillow for the flashlight and pushed himself up onto his elbow, turning it on. There was something at his feet. He pushed it around with his foot, bringing it up part way, then reached down to retrieve it. Yes. Chocolate. It was certainly helpful to have some good old junk food to bring his strength back.
He lay back down as he savored the taste. Soon he’d have to deal with Mad Dog Lane. He wondered what he’d ever seen in her. How could she have been so unreasonable about letting go of her in the air? It had been an accident. How had Lois differed from Lana? They both were very controlling. They’d both been very stubborn and pig headed. If this is what love is, then he was better off being single. Why would anyone ever wish they were dead if they were loved by someone? The love she offered him wasn’t the kind of relationship he was interested in having in a wife. He wanted someone like his mother. Someone who really loved him. All of him, faults as well as strength.
He would do better next time. She wasn’t going to make him want to ruin his own life. Out there, somewhere was a woman who could love him. He was handsome. He was nice. Most of the world seemed to think he was a pretty decent guy.
He was actually pretty lucky that he wasn’t still cooped up in here with that piece of kryptonite. He’d not be having this conversation with himself if she hadn’t come back and taken it out. How had she known it was in here with him?
He rolled over on his stomach and put his arms under his head. Sleep eluded him. He could hear his parents voices a few feet away from his graveside. He’d certainly disappointed them. He was most disappointed in himself though. How could he have come up with this stupid idea of playing dead? The red kryptonite.
He had to do some planning. His strength was coming back. He could probably get out already. However waiting would be best. He could do more, the more strength he had.
He pondered the possibilities. He could tunnel through and come up to the surface anywhere on the earth. Or he could vibrate and just pass through undetected. It did mean he’d hurt a lot though. He’d have to remolecularize in a good place too. Could he take the cell phone with him if he did that?
What did he need the cell phone for anyway? It would only link him to Lois. Was there a problem with that? He’d just told her his secret. Would he have done that if he didn’t want to continue having a relationship with her?
He shook himself mentally. He was such an idiot. Did he want to be with Lois, or did he want to break up with her? He must love her or he wouldn’t have cared when she’d broken up with him.
She was so unreasonable, though. However, she would certainly move heaven and hell to help Superman. Was it just the image? Was it just the ‘nothing stands between Lois Lane and truth and justice’? She was too much trouble. He’d had enough. This hadn’t been the first time she’d yelled and screamed at him. He’d become her doormat. Well, if he got out of here, things were going to change.
Should he leave Metropolis? Perhaps that would be the best thing to do. What about Superman? The whole world knew he was dead. Maybe it was time to just leave planet earth all together.
The cell phone rang. Oh brother. He felt around for it and opened it up. “Hi Lois.”
“Hi. I’ve got a plan.”
“Oh?”
“Yes. How are your powers coming?”
“I can see my parents over by the mausoleum. I can hear the rioting in Metropolis. I don’t have any pain and I'm getting ready to get out of here.”
“Good.”
“Lois, why are you calling me? I thought you hated me.”
“The world needs Superman.”
“Is that all?”
“Yes. Well, no. I love you. I need you.”
“Lois, I’ve been thinking…since I’ve had some time on my hands. I think you were right. I don’t think we should see each other any more.”
“What?”
“I don’t think we’re good for each other.” What he meant to say was that he didn’t think she was very good for him. He had to get his life together and being a doormat wasn’t going to be in the cards.
“Oh. Are you still trying to drag Clark Kent into this? If you’re trying to dump me off onto him it’s not going to work.”
“Lois, I don’t think I want to be in a relationship with you. I don’t want to be controlled. I don't want to be a doormat. I'm Superman, for goodness sake, not that I'm doing a very good job of it at the moment.”
“It’s the red kryptonite, isn’t it? I'm sorry I put it in there with you. I thought you were dead and figured it wouldn’t matter. But then when I was at home I realized that you can’t die and that the red kryptonite might keep you from trying to get out, so I came back and took it out.”
“I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe not. I don’t think a relationship is working if you have to fake your own death to get out of it.”
Silence.
Silence.
“Are you saying this is my fault?”
Silence.
He could hear her crying. “I'm that bad?”
“You’re not bad, Lois. I just don’t think we’re right for each other. You need someone else. Someone who can do what you want him to do, be what you want him to be.”
“Someone like Clark Kent?”
No! Definitely not Clark Kent! It was a relief that she really didn’t believe him when he’d told her he was Clark. If he wasn’t going to be with her anymore, she didn’t need to know his true identity.
“No. He’s not your type either.”
Silence.
“Look, Lois, you kicked me out. I'm just not interested in coming back. You don’t have to like it. There’s not really a lot I do that you do like. I don’t know why this is upsetting you anyway.”
“Superman, how can you say that?”
“I don’t know, Lois, it’s just how I feel. Being dead has made a lot of things more clear. I’ve got to take control of my life again.”
“So what happens to Superman? Is he going to stay dead?”
“I don’t know. I guess so. I’m not sure.”
“It doesn’t sound like things are really all that clear to you yet.”
“Good bye, Lois. It’s been nice knowing you. Maybe I’ll see you around. Maybe not.”
“Where will you go when you get out?”
It sounded like he was getting released from jail. “I'm not sure. Look, don’t try to find me, okay?”
Silence.
Silence.
Lois was trying not to cry as she hung up the phone and sank down into a chair in her apartment.
