Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic A Gift For Life: Chapter 5

Chapter 5
I've Got a Crush On You

Twenty minutes later the couple sat in Star Labs and shocked the resident 'mad scientist' with their revelation.

"Dr. Klein, are you okay?" Lois asked, a little concerned by the doctor's ashen face.

"Ah, yeah, I'm fine." He looked at the young man before him. For weeks he'd wondered if Clark and Superman were the same person. There were just too many similarities. And people thought he wasn't all there. Yeah, right! "Clark, I know this was hard for you to do: putting this kind of trust in me, but I consider you a friend. I won't let you down by betraying that trust."

"I know you won't." Clark gave Bernard a small smile. Revealing his secret hadn't been easy, but Clark knew he'd done the right thing. He could trust the man before him and to have him be his friend was invaluable at this point. This doctor was willing to go that extra mile to save Clark's life and he appreciated it very much.

"Good, now we have that out of the way let's get down to business." Bernard rose and, unlocking a filing-cabinet behind him, pulled out Lois' thin file. "When Lois and I did the preliminary tests last week, we calculated her most fertile days to start Wednesday. We'll run careful temperature tests to make sure that stays consistent. So plan on coming in Wednesday morning at seven."

"What happens then?" Clark hadn't been as informed as Lois had.

"Lois will be prepped for the insemination procedure while you give us a donation." Bernie chuckled at Clark's stunned expression. "Sorry. That part can't be helped. Anyway, once we have the sample it will be put into a machine so we can collect the best swimmers. Once that's done, Lois will be inseminated and hopefully we'll make a baby."

"How long before we know if it's successful?" Clark asked, wishing he felt as eager to conceive this child as he felt just to have all the facts.

"Unfortunately, we won't know for certain for seven days," Dr Klein said apologetically. "But all the research I've been doing on Clark's biological make-up has led me to a discovery that might actually be useful in this case." Both reporters leaned just a tad closer. "It seems there might be certain elements in his reproductive system that appear to be highly sensitive."

"Meaning?" Lois was far too impatient for a lengthy explanation.

"Meaning that I believe we'll be able to detect a change almost immediately after conception."

Even Clark was having difficulty waiting for Dr Klein to finish his explanation. "Could you expand on that just a little, Bernie?"

"Oh, yes, certainly. I believe it will cause enough of a significant change in Lois' bio-chemistry that a test will detect it after twenty four hours or so."

"But I thought you said that my body was essentially the same as a human male," Clark was quick to point out. After so many hours agonizing over this decision to go ahead, he wasn't sure he could stand a blow that might result in them changing their plans.

"You are, but your... fluids also carry the super genes. That's what I'm hoping I'll be able to detect in twenty-four hours, if they've combined with Lois' egg. The two together will create a reaction like no other and it should be evident fairly quickly, to someone who knows what they're looking for." He waited for his audience to absorb that before he moved on. "So, Lois can come in for a test to detect if those properties are present twenty-four hours following the insemination procedure. But even if they are, as we only have a small window in which to work this month, I would be happier if we repeated the procedure every day we can... just in case. No need to waste an opportunity. In seven days we'll run a subsequent test that will be conclusive either way. If conception has occured, then you'll need to find a good OB."

"You can't handle that aspect as well?" Clark sounded disappointed and was still struggling a bit with even more information about his extraordinary body. He'd hoped to keep this whole process between the three of them.

"Clark, I'm a research doctor. What I'm going to be doing is out of my expertise as it is. And I assure you, after the initial speeding up, as it were, the rest of the pregnancy should be normal."

"So, I'm not going to turn into Superwoman?" Lois sounded a little disappointed; she thought flying would be kinda cool. Her partner, on the other hand, was looking extremely relieved. Lois took enough risks with her life as it was without having the odd super-power to encourage her.

"Sorry, Lois, I just can't see that happening," Bernie commiserated, then quickly returned his attention to Clark. "But, Clark, wouldn't you want Lois and the baby's lives in the hands of a good doctor?"

"Of course!" the younger man stated with some indignation. How could anyone think differently?

"I'm sorry, Clark. I didn't mean to imply anything."

"And I didn't mean to raise my voice. This is just an awkward situation." And it was. In a few short days, he and Lois would cross over into a whole other dimension in their relationship. Not only was it awkward, it was easily the scariest thing he'd ever had to face... more frightening than finding out he had leukemia. Living with the illness was daunting; the prospect of living with Lois Lane was stupendous!

"I know." Bernie clapped Clark's shoulder in sympathy. "But there are certain other things I have to explain -- like we need six weeks after the baby's born to do the transplant. That means nearly eleven months total."

"That gives us about thirteen months to conceive, cutting it really close," Lois observed.

"No. That leaves you about four to six months. I estimate that's how long Clark has left before he loses his powers and I'd like to see conception take place before that happens. As I already pointed out, I don't want to take any chances that Lois' genes could become dominant over the 'super' ones. After all, harvesting the 'K' gene is the whole point of doing this."

"Guess we need to get busy then." Lois smiled when Clark glared over at her, the word 'harvesting' had sent an unpleasant chill down his spine. "Relax. This is all going to be okay. You'll see."

"Clark, this is an amazing thing she's agreed to do. Not many people can say they have friends like Lois." The doctor decided Lois needed a little support here, as it seemed that the fastidious young man wasn't yet totally comfortable with the situation.

Since Lois first mentioned this idea to Bernard, he'd been in awe of the woman. He'd also quickly squashed the scientific significance of the whole situation and concentrated on helping his friend. More than he wanted to further his research on Superman, he wanted to save Clark's life.

"I just want her to still be that friend after all this." Clark stuck his hands in his pockets, his expression more wistful than certain.

Understanding that 'her friend' was feeling slightly shocked by all this information, Lois leaned over and touched his arm reassuringly. "Relax, Clark. You worry too much!"

Bernie watched the couple leave a little while later after setting an early appointment in two days' time. He shook his head. 'That boy has it bad for that girl', he thought. 'Look out Metropolis'.

****

Clark gazed out the passenger window of the Jeep as he and Lois made the trip back to her apartment. She was lost in her thoughts as well. Finally she looked over at him.

"I guess we need to decide when we should get married."

"I was thinking next weekend." He glanced tentatively at his partner as he spoke, unsure of how she would react to the rushed timeframe.

Lois nodded her head. "That doesn't leave a lot of time for a big ceremony."

"We don't have the luxury of time, and I don't think 'big' is appropriate," Clark said softly.

"I guess not." Pulling the Jeep into place in front of her apartment, she put it in park and turned to face him. "I would like to have something that's a bit special -- I think that would be enough. Even though we're doing this for… whatever reasons they are, it will be our first marriage. I hope."

Clark chuckled softly. "Yes, Lois, it's my first marriage." At this point he was very grateful for her unexpected stab at humour. It did help to relieve the uneasiness!

"Well, I just thought it should be something more than just an 'I do' at the Town Hall. It should have some kind of meaning… if that's possible in this wild situation."

And for some vague reasons that she couldn't begin to explain, Lois refused to get married without having it mean something.... After all, she was the woman who secretly watched 'The Ivory Tower'! She couldn't help but sigh mentally. Her thoughts were so jumbled she was unsure if she'd ever be able to unscramble them again. Ever since she'd found out both Clark's secrets, she'd been on an emotional rollercoaster ride. Thank goodnes he was talking again and she wouldn't have to delve into her innermost thoughts for the moment.

Clark smiled tenderly. "Yeah. I think I would like that." He shifted to face her more fully. "Lois, would you go out with me tomorrow night?"

She lifted her eyebrows in inquiry at his question, wondering how they'd gone from wedding to going out. A date! Lois wasn't totally comfortable with that, but, what the heck; if she'd just agreed to marry the guy then a date shouldn't be a 'bridge too far'.

Besides, it might be a good idea to get used to spending more time with Clark. Pretty soon they'd be living together in the same apartment. She hadn't lived with anyone since she'd left home at seventeen and certainly had never lived with a man. Although she and Clark knew each other fairly well, sharing a home with him was another story altogether. But then, he was going to get much sicker and she intended to be there for him. Superman took care of the world and that was exactly what she intended to do for him in his time of need. Maybe a date was the best place to start on the road to comfort.

He reached to squeeze one of her hands. "Look, I am not getting married without at least one date." His voice was full of humor. "Trust me."

Lois relented and gave a tiny smile. "What time?"

"Seven. And dress casually."

"O…kay."

"Good." He released her hand and got out of the Jeep. Clark walked Lois to her door, but quickly left her there, explaining his need to make a quick patrol.

She stood in her doorway and watched her partner's retreating back as he disappeared down the passageway, then she hurried inside and turned each of her five locks. If she was feeling a little bemused at his abrupt exit, she didn't object. This night had been full of surprises and she needed the time to get her head around the reality that she was soon to become a wife as well as a mother. She certainly had a knack for getting herself into complicated situations, usually requiring rescues by Superman. Only this time she was the one doing the rescuing and she couldn't help but feel good about that.

****

Clark was already at work when Lois got there the next morning. Whenever she stepped from the elevator he sensed her presence and lifted his head to offer her a welcoming smile when their eyes met.

He'd lain awake most of the night thinking about Lois and his impending marriage. His marriage… Now that was a mouthful.

He'd imagined how it would take place, what he'd say to Lois, and the first kiss... assuming Lois would let there be a first kiss. It wasn't surprising to realize he was looking forward to that aspect just a little. Maybe a little too much, he told himself.

But why was it too much? Lois had agreed to this. She'd said she wanted to get married… well almost! That had to mean she wasn't averse to the marriage and the thought had excited Clark, to the point of it becoming a problem. He'd been slightly embarrassed with his behavior during the night. Why he didn't know. It wasn't like he hadn't had a hundred erotic dreams about Lois before. This time, though, it was different. In a short time, they'd be married. He'd told Lois he'd rather get to know her than start a physical relationship neither was ready for. Only it appeared that his body was having trouble accepting that concept. Of course the reality was that she was marrying him just to pacify him. She wanted to have this baby and to do it he insisted on the marriage.

But what if this marriage turned out to be more than she thought it would be? He let his thoughts drift to the possibility of Lois actually coming to feel that this marriage was real. Would she let him show her that he could make her happy? Would she let him take care of her and the baby? There were far too many questions and not enough answers.

Somewhere in the wee hours of the morning he'd given up on his troubled thoughts and gone to sleep. He'd told Lois he wouldn't push her in any way and he fully intended to follow through with that promise, but surely there was nothing wrong with a little wishful thinking. Tonight he was taking his partner out on a date so he could propose properly. If he was going to show her he could make her happy, this was the first building block in the process.

Now he found himself looking up at her for the third time since she had come in and this time she met his gaze. She smiled and got up to walk the distance between their desks.

"Hi," she told him when she got to his side.

"Hi."

"You okay?"

"I'm fine, Lois. Why do you ask?"

"No reason. Well, you just keep looking at me. You haven't changed your mind, have you?"

"No. Have you?"

"No, no." Suddenly she was a little nervous.

He dropped the paper he was holding and leaned back to look at her. "Actually I was just thinking about our date."

"Really?" He nodded and she sat down on the edge of his desk. Since she'd decided to spend time with Clark, she might as well relax and enjoy herself. Or at least see where he led them. "Where ya' taking me?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out."

"You know I don't like surprises."

"I know," he assured her.

She huffed her indignation. "You're not giving?"

"Not an inch." He smiled and patted her leg. "Get back to work, will you? I hate having to pull your weight, too."

She laughed at that. "In your dreams, Kent. In your dreams." As she made her way back over to her desk, she thought she heard him say, 'I hope so.' That brought on another smile as she sat back down to start working on their latest masterpiece.

Since Clark had left the night before, she had thought of little else but this marriage deal. When she'd offered to have the baby for him, marrying Clark was definitely not in her plans. She never dreamed he'd even want to. However, knowing Clark was still a 'farmboy' at heart she really shouldn't have been surprised. Though, whenever she'd started considering his reasons, she realized he was probably incredibly scared and wanted someone by his side. If she were dying, she'd want someone to comfort and care for her, during the good times and the bad. She also understood his feelings of insecurity about his origins.

And she did get along better with Clark than any one else she knew. He was certainly the only person she'd ever been able to work with, and she'd always had feelings for Superman, so maybe she could live with this. Once again the famous Lane determination and drive was in full swing. Lois would give her partner this. She'd stand by his side and give him what he wanted... at least until after he was well on his way to recovery. Once he was ready to stand on his own two feet again, she'd take him up on his offer not to hold her to a marriage she wasn't comfortable with.

<Unless pigs learned to fly and you got used to being a wife.... Was she crazy? Behave yourself!> she ordered that tiny inner voice and turned her attention back to her computer screen.

****

Clark showed up at Lois' that night dressed all in black: jeans, a sweater and a leather jacket. When she opened the door, he could hear the slight gasp.

"Wow," she was jolted into remarking, despite her earlier reservations. "You look great."

He looked down at himself. "Thanks. This will help hide us a little."

"Hide us?"

"Yeah. We're flying."

She gave him a surprised look as she grabbed her jacket, secretly thrilled at the thought of flying with the superhero. "You're not changing into your Suit?"

Clark led her out the door with a gentle hand on her elbow. "You're marrying Clark. I thought it would help a little with keeping us separate in your mind."

"I just thought when you flew you did so as… you know.

"Usually I do. But tonight I wanted to go out as me." They reached the bottom floor and he led her toward the back entrance. They stepped into the back alley and he stopped to do a quick scan, satisfying himself there were no prying eyes. "Ready?"

"Yep."

He lifted her effortlessly and rose above the city, the lights dropping quickly away beneath them. When they were above the cloud cover, he headed out of Metropolis. This was the first time he'd flown with her as Clark and it felt so good. It was nice to have someone who knew about him besides his parents and he realized he was looking forward to this marriage for another reason. Lois would become a confidant.

Snuggled in Clark's arms to keep out the evening chill, Lois decided there could be definite advantages to having a closer relationship with this man. She'd always loved flying with Superman on the few occasions he'd taken her up into the sky. It gave her a feeling of freedom and pure escapism that she'd never experienced before. To know that it would be something she could do on a regular basis in the future was very appealing.

Clark flew Lois to a beach community on the East coast and soon they were walking along the boardwalk which was referred to locally as the Strip. They chose a small café amid the seemingly endless shops and restaurants for dinner. The food was wonderful and the company had never been better.

The couple talked about everything except their impending marriage, the baby, or Clark's illness. For the first time since they'd begun their partnership at the Planet, they were each discovering a little more about the other. Lois found herself revealing more of her unhappy childhood to her partner than she'd ever told anyone else; Clark was just so easy to talk to. She'd even laughed delightedly at some of his reminiscences of growing up on a farm in Kansas. Too quickly dinner was over and they wandered out into the twilight.

It was late spring and although the weather had been warm of late, this night the air was crisp, and the sea breezes wouldn't allow them to enjoy being on the beach for very long. But they did stroll along the edge of the surf for a few blocks just to take in the sounds and feelings you only get from being on the beach.

Clark led her to a little club on a side street known for its mix of music. They enjoyed the jazz, beach music, light rock, and country tunes for nearly an hour before Clark asked if she was ready to go. With just a hint of disappointment, she agreed. Lois had enjoyed herself much more than she'd expected and she didn't want the evening to end so soon. They left via the air only to land in the alley behind some buildings in one of the larger shopping centers.

"What are we doing here?" Lois asked him. As the buildings were shut down for the night, she couldn't imagine why he'd bring her to such a place.

"Just wait! I'll show you." He winked misheivously as they rounded the corner where a young man was waiting at the back entrance to one of the buildings. "Dave!"

"Clark! Great to see you, man." The man shook Clark's hand.

"It's good to see you. Thanks for indulging me."

"No problem. But I'm dying to ask, what's it like flying with Superman?"

"It's… different," Clark answered evasively. He shot Lois a glance that told her he'd explain. "Are we set?"

"Yeah. The alarm system is off. I made the call and told them I was checking it for errors and tuning it up. That gives you about an hour."

"Great. By the way, Dave, this is Lois Lane." Clark placed a hand on the small of her back. "Lois, this is Dave Jenkins. He and I spent a summer interning here at the community recreation department."

Lois smiled and held out a hand to him. "Nice to meet you, Dave."

"And you." He smiled over at Clark. "I've got to say, Clark, she is beautiful."

"Thank you," Lois replied with a smile.

"Yes, she is," Clark told the man as he gazed at Lois a long moment. He tore his eyes from her and faced Dave. "Well, I guess we're wasting our hour."

"Sure, sure." Dave stood aside and opened the door for them. "Just remember, there are only a handful of lights on inside. Enough to see, but not overly bright either. Be careful."

"We will. Thanks again." Clark shook the man's hand again and he and Lois entered the building.

It only took a moment for Lois to realize they were in an aquarium. Seeing the large tanks filled with beautiful exotic fish in the low lighting gave it a mystical feeling. It was pretty amazing.

Clark led her to the automatic floor which wove its way through the inside of the building so the entire center tank could be seen. At one point it seemed to go right through the middle of the glass.

"This is great," Lois remarked after a few moments. The inside of the tank had more lights on than the rest of the building, allowing them to see all the fish clearly. She gasped when a shark swam right up to the glass. "Oh wow!"

Clark smiled down at her and put a hand on her shoulder when she leaned closer to him. He contented himself with watching her as she took in the strange, shifting sights around her. When they were about half way through the tunnel, he pulled a box from his pocket and held it around in front of her.

"Will you marry me, Lois?" he whispered softly, as the inhabitants of the tank glided in and out of the shadowy depths around them, completely unconcerned about their human visitors' actions.

Her eyes fell on the stone glistening in the pale lights from the tank. Once more Clark had astonished her. Her partner was full of surprises; first the marriage then the *date* and now the traditional proposal in a very off-beat setting. Yet this time she was not unhappily surprised, she had to admit.

"Oh, Clark. This is beautiful." And it was. The stone wasn't too large, but not small either. The cut was unusual. She looked a little closer, realizing it was shaped like the triangular emblem that held the stylised 's' on Clark's suit. Her eyes shot up to his, full of questions.

"I wanted something… special," he said in an echo of the words she used to describe their upcoming wedding. He pulled the ring from the box, put the black velvet container back into his pocket, and held the ring closer to Lois. "In the light, when you look close enough, you'll be able to see the 's' on the bottom side of the stone. I burned it in with my vision."

"Is that wise?"

He shrugged. "No one will see it unless they're looking for it. I just… I know what I said about this being for me… but Superman…"

Lois covered his hand and looked up at him. "He's also part of you, a very large part." She glanced down at the ring; entranced by the moment and the care he'd taken to make his proposal unique. "I'd be happy to marry you."

Clark smiled softly as he slipped the ring onto her finger. "It just didn't feel right to get married without a proper proposal."

Lois admired her new stone. "I'm glad you did." Her eyes roamed their surroundings appreciatively. "And you couldn't have picked a better place."

"You like it?"

"I do." She gazed at the shark as it swam over to them. "I especially like him."

Clark laughed softly. "I knew you would. Look." He pointed out two more sharks, gliding through the shadows beside them. "Cool, huh?"

"Very." They settled to finish looking at the rest of the display, but the mood had clearly been changed. It had become… much more intimate.

****

When they returned home, Clark walked Lois back up to her door.

"How about some coffee?" Lois felt strangely reluctant to end the evening at the door. Not tonight, not after what they'd just promised to each other.

"Sure." He followed her in and settled on one of the sofas, feeling remarkably at home while Lois put the coffee on. Their date had been a lot more successful than he'd ever dreamed.

She came in a few minutes later with two steaming mugs. Sitting lightly down beside him, she kicked off her shoes and pulled one of her legs under her. "I had a good time tonight."

Clark swallowed the coffee he'd sipped. "So did I. I love Myrtle Beach."

"Tonight was my first time there, but I think I like it, too. I wish it were warmer. We could go there for a honeymoon."

Clark stilled at her words. He leaned forward and set his mug on the table. "Is that what you want?"

"What? A honeymoon?"

"Yeah." This was a subject they'd never really discussed, and in this case it was Lois' turn to shock. He'd certainly thought about it, but had just as quickly dismissed it as something Lois wouldn't be keen on and he was conscious of his promise not to push her. Could he have been wrong?

Lois placed her cup down carefully, rubbing her fingers over the surface of the table as she thought about that one. Truthfully, she wasn't sure about a honeymoon, she hadn't really let herself think too far beyond the wedding itself. She'd absentmindedly blurted out the remark before she realised what she was saying. But wouldn't a honeymoon give them a chance to spend a little time alone to get to know each other without the world looking on and without all the pressures they were under to produce a child?

"Don't you?" She turned to watch him, trying to gauge his thoughts on the subject.

"Well…" He leaned back and rubbed his hands over his thighs. "Lois, I don't want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable."

"Clark, we're getting married. We're going to make a baby."

"Through artificial insemination, Lois."

"I know that. But who said we have to sleep together on a honeymoon? I mean a honeymoon is just a vacation with the 'romantic stuff' thrown in. We could use the time to get to know each other a little, get comfortable with each other enough to live together. And it would give me time to adjust to this whole thing before I have to face all the 'in' jokes which we're both going to be bombarded with when we return to work. Cat Grant, for one, is going to bug me relentlessly."

"You're right." He faced Lois. "You make a good point, but I think I can just about live with the jokers at the Planet. But, I can't lie. I am very... not uncomfortable exactly. This is a big thing, Lois, and I guess I'm nervous, maybe even a little scared."

"So am I." She covered his hand with hers. "I'm all those things and a little excited, too." Lois had mentioned her excitement in an effort to reassure Clark, yet, unbelievably, she found it to be true.

"Excited?"

"Sure. We're getting married. That's worth getting excited about."

"Lois…" He looked down at their hands, then back at her. "This isn't a real marriage."

The tender expression left Lois' face and she snatched her hand from his. "No. I guess not." Why did Clark have to bring that up and look so pathetic, reminding her that he secretly wanted more? With her ambivalent feelings rising again to the surface, she got up and started to the kitchen, eager to put some space between them.

Clark followed, not quite understanding why he was being so perverse, yet unable to stop his hurtful words. "Come on, Lois. I think you should be honest here. The only reason you're doing this is to save my life."

She spun around to look at him. "I could do that without marrying you," she hissed. "Babies are born everyday without the security of marriage."

"I know that, but both of us know the only reason you agreed is because I won't have the baby otherwise. We shouldn't get carried away and make it more than it is." He was surprised by her reaction. Just the day before she'd been the one angry when he mentioned getting married.

"I know that's what I said, and part of me still doesn't want to do this. But, I've agreed to this and I'm prepared to do everything I can to make it work. Clark, I don't know how to fail. All I know how to do is give one hundred, ten percent with as much fire as I can muster. We may be entering into this to save your life, but it still doesn't make the marriage less real."

"Doesn't it?" He looked doubtful -- there was one very important element of a relationship, which would be missing in their marriage.

"Why? What part of it isn't real? The baby will be born into a family! We're both committed to making a loving environment for that child! Which part of that do you have a problem with? Or is the problem that we've decided we won't consummate this marriage on our wedding night?" She put her hands on her hips and glared at him. "I thought we went through this already?"

Clark sighed and shoved a hand through his hair. Lois always did know what he was thinking. "So did I. I've tried to tell myself that this was for real. You'd said yes... and I even convinced myself that you wanted to do this. But sometimes I can't help thinking that I'm taking advantage of you."

"If it means you'll be okay, please take advantage of me."

He shook his head when their eyes met. "Lois, I don't know how else to say this. In one way, I want this so badly I can taste it, but I still can't ignore this feeling I have that it's wrong."

Afraid that Clark might be prepared to back out of the whole deal and try to face his illness alone, without the hope of any cure, Lois forced her own worries to subside. She stepped forward and placed her palms on his chest. "We both knew this wouldn't be easy, Clark. It's going to take a lot of adjustment on both sides. So, let's not keep analysing this. You asked and I answered. Let's get married -- no promises, no strings. Just take it one day at a time."

Clark smiled and rubbed the backs of her hands. "I think that's easier said than done."

"I know." She pushed her hands up around his neck, hoping he'd accept her proposal and silently asking him to hug her. He didn't disappoint. His arms slowly went around her waist and held her tightly. "One day at a time," she told him softly.

"Okay." He smoothed his hand up and down her back before stepping away. "So… I was thinking about the wedding."

"Yeah?"

"Uh huh. I was thinking of calling the Victorian House to see if we could have it there."

"The bed and breakfast on the north side?" He nodded. "Oh wow! I've always wanted to see that place."

"There's a small chapel in back." Clark started to relax as they returned to discussing plans... details were so much easier to handle than emotions.

"Great. That should be big enough for a cosy ceremony."

"And they have a ballroom. We could have a reception or just dinner, according to how many people you want to come." Clark led her back to the couch and sat down.

"Me? What about you?" Lois plumped down beside him, grateful for the return to a warmer atmosphere between them. "Wouldn't you like to invite some folks?"

"Just my parents. Maybe Jimmy and Perry."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Add my parents… I think." Lois' wrinkled her nose disgruntedly and Clark laughed softly at her. "And Lucy. I'd never live it down if I didn't call her. Other than that, I think I could live without having it become a spectacle. Besides, people aren't exactly falling down to be my friend."

"Give yourself a break. You've been shut away in that newsroom since you finished college. It's only natural that all you know is inside those walls."

"I guess." She smiled and bumped against his shoulder. "Should we make a list and split what needs to be taken care of?"

"Why don't you let me handle everything? I mean, unless you want to help?" Clark asked, not quite sure of what the protocol should be with 'arranged' marriages but, since he was the one to insist on marriage, he felt most of the burden should rest on his shoulders. Lois had offered up the rest of her life just to save his; the least he could do was take over the wedding preparations.

Lois gulped mentally. How had she gone so long without figuring out Clark's secret? He really wasn't good at hiding his feelings and, right now, the need to do something for her... for them was written clearly across his face. "What do I know about planning a wedding?" She grinned, offering up a little control.

Until this moment she hadn't realized that maybe a great deal of Clark's reluctance and uncertainty stemmed from the fact that he no longer felt in charge of his life. For a man who had always been able to count on his strength and invulnerability, the disease must have stripped that security away from him, and having a baby suggested as his only possible cure, had to have left Clark feeling more than a little helpless. Perhaps giving him something positive to concentrate on would help him regain some direction and dignity.

"Probably as much as I do," he said with a chuckle. "I guess you should help. This is your wedding, too."

She cocked her head to look at him. Something in his expression told her that her thoughts were definitely correct; organizing the few wedding arrangements was important to Clark. "No. I think it would be okay if you took care of things. I just hate to leave you with all the work."

He lifted his hand to cup her cheek. "In a while you'll be the one doing all the work," he said, his voice filling with sorrow. For the first time the weight of what was to come hit Clark. Without thought, he leaned over and kissed Lois' lips. It was only a brief touch, but it said so much. When he withdrew, he was near tears. "I think I'm going to go home. I'm getting tired."

"Yeah." Lois was a little stunned, but not by the kiss. She could see the raw emotions on Clark's face, hear the pain in his voice and, at once, understood where his thoughts had taken him. She had no cheeky quip or witty riposte to offer to pull him out of his dejection. Instead, she followed him to the door and, reaching to take his right hand before he stepped through, she whispered, "Call me when you get home."

"Okay. I had a great time tonight," he told her again, just in case she thought his enjoyment had been spoiled by their little disagreement.

"Any time." She offered Clark a smile and received one in return.

"Good night, Lois."

"Good night."

She closed the door and leaned her back against the warm wood with a hundred new thoughts running through her mind. This whole deal wasn't working out the way she'd first thought. Moving in with Clark had certainly never figured in her plans, but she could see the advantages. He'd just reminded her that his disease would probably get worse, and he would need someone around to watch over him. And for all his bravado, he was scared. Heck, it frightened the life out of her too. Apart from the times long ago when she'd looked after her mother during Ellen's drinking sprees, Lois had never had to care for anyone that way. But she wasn't a quitter, and she wasn't about to let Clark back out either. No, if getting married was the only way that he'd accept her help, then she could live with it... for now.

****

Clark had called Lois when he got home and they agreed she'd pick him up the next morning for the first insemination procedure. He couldn't help but want Lois to already be pregnant before the wedding. He rationalized if that were so, she wouldn't back out. Then he quickly squashed his selfish thoughts. After all, only a few hours ago he'd been the one to have a few doubts. Lois was entitled to change her mind, if she wanted. But he refused to think like that! If there was ever a time for him to be positive, it was now.

The following morning was bright and held the promise of summer as Lois drove over to Clark's. The sun danced off her new ring, casting reflections on her dark hair as she pulled up to the curb in front of his apartment to find him pacing anxiously on the stoop. She offered up an encouraging smile and told him to relax. He smiled back and forced his nerves to calm.

At the laboratory Dr Klein was already waiting, ready to get down to work. After a quick greeting, Clark was given a cup and sent to a room to gather the sample needed for the procedure. It hadn't been the easiest task in the world and he'd embarrassingly reverted to his familiar dreams of Lois to get it done. When he was finished, he felt curiously numb and disconnected. With hardly a word he handed over the container and disappeared, leaving Lois and Bernard exchanging puzzled glances in his wake. However, when Lois went out to go to work, she found Clark leaning against the Jeep.

"Hey!" She approached him apprehensively. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. How about you? Did everything go okay?"

His chaotic feelings had driven him from the building and into the air to clear his mind, but his concern for Lois had forced him back to the parking lot, and waiting by the Jeep had given him a chance to organize his thoughts. At least enough to support the lady who was taking such amazing measures to save his life... and change both their lives forever. Lois deserved that much from him. He just wished he had her fortitude. Man of Steel, that was a laugh... right now he felt like Man of Straw!

"Perfect. I have to come for a blood test in the morning and then we repeat the process. Unfortunately we only have a three day window this month. You will be there, won't you?" Lois sounded uncertain. Given the way Clark had run out, she wasn't sure he'd be willing to try again.

He nodded. "Kinda' sucks the romance right out of it, though!"

"Clark!" She threw him a warning stare.

"I'm sorry, Lois. I'm just having difficulty coming to terms with all this...." His hand waved in the direction of the lab they'd just come from. "And I feel like a wimp, because you're going to go through a lot more than me and yet you're so brave...."

"Not that brave, Clark. There was a moment in there when I wanted to run away."

"But you didn't...." He had the grace to blush when he thought of his own truculent actions. "I just hope it's all worth the effort."

Clark looked so repentant that Lois' moment of annoyance faded away and she stepped up to place her hand on his arm. "Clark, this will work."

"Yeah." He pushed off the Jeep and opened her door, his mood lightening considerably. This whole procedure could take quite a while and his partner didn't deserve to put up with his grumpiness along with all the other things he was putting her through. "Come on. I'm hungry and you're buying."

"I am?"

"Sure. After next week you'll expect me to buy."

"Clark…"

"It was a joke, Lois. Remember, one day at a time." He grinned and pushed the door shut. 'Day one', he thought as he jumped into the passenger's seat.

****

Clark would have liked to have told his parents in person that he and Lois were getting married, but there were just too many things going on and his tiredness was still an occasional problem, making a flight to Smallville difficult. Instead the three of them shared a long conversation over the phone.

The Kents weren't overly surprised at the news. Martha knew Lois would convince Clark to have the baby. She understood the young woman enough to know that when she set her mind to something, not even Superman could talk her out of it. It seemed this time, however, he'd talked Lois into something -- the marriage idea had to be his. He was still convinced he was going to die and wanted to be happy for a little while before that happened. Martha was proud of the fact that he'd been honest with Lois about his true feelings and also proud of him for taking the time to propose properly, but not surprised. Clark would always be an old-fashioned farmboy at heart.

Meanwhile, the couple had to follow through with the insemination procedure again as the first try was unsuccessful. They weren't happy, as neither of them were comfortable with the necessary process, though neither were they prepared to give up at the first hurdle. In fact, if both were honest, they'd hardly expected it to work first time around. The second failure disappointed Lois more than Clark, but when the third and final try for the month failed, The Man of Steel was more than a little dejected.

Lois had to admit to a small amount of anxiety that their lack of success would cause Clark to give in, but it seemed that he was now committed to the idea. And that was hardly surprising... Clark was a young man; it was only natural that he should want to live.

****

Having been given the news of their latest non-event, Clark moved into the conference room to be alone with his thoughts. Lois had only had a small window to conceive this month and all attempts failed to produce a pregnancy. It wasn't a total disaster but he couldn't help but feel a little disheartened. Maybe this was never going to work. After all, he was Kryptonian, and even though Dr Klein had said that wouldn't be a problem, the doctor could have gotten it wrong.

"Clark?" Lois stuck her head through the door, her heart contracting at the sight of her partner staring sadly at an open file on the table in front of him. She doubted that he was even aware of what it contained.

"Yeah?" Surprised by Lois' voice, Clark's head shot up.

"May I come in?"

"Sure." He straightened in his chair and tried to pretend he'd been buried in his work.

Lois smiled gently at his attempt to cover his feelings, sitting down next to him before she spoke. "What's wrong?"

"I was just thinking."

"About not being terribly successful this time?"

"Yeah." He studied his hands for a long moment before he faced Lois. "I was hoping you'd be pregnant before we got married."

"Why?"

"Honestly?" She nodded helpfully, so he forced himself to answer. "I know this is a bit of a turn around for me because I haven't exactly shown a lot of enthusiasm here... but I'm scared you'll change your mind." The last statement came out in a rush.

"Not a chance," she reassured him.

"Lois, what if we get married and… you don't get pregnant?"

She returned Clark's look with all the seriousness his tone of voice deserved and reached to take his hands. "Clark, we're getting married in four days. One day at a time. After that day we'll either be getting to know each other while preparing to bring our baby into the world or we'll be getting to know each other while we enjoy being married." Lois was proud that her voice didn't falter on the word enjoy. Even now, she wasn't totally sure that getting married was the best thing to do. She was an independent career woman who had never pictured herself married… or with a baby for that matter. However, Lois Lane didn't back down from anything she set her mind to. So, this marriage, as unexpected and uncomfortable as it might be, would not force her to change her mind about helping her friend.

"I'd leave you…"

"You'll never leave me. I won't let you."

"Lois…"

"No, Clark. One day at a time, remember?" This time it was Lois who mentioned their pact.

Clark sighed heavily and squeezed both of Lois' hands. His head eased forward to rest lightly against their joined fingers. Lois leaned over and pressed a kiss to the back of his head, feeling the need to offer a little comfort as much as he obviously needed to receive it. They sat quietly, sharing a moment of peace. Neither knew what would happen in the days to come, but both seemed to be making a silent agreement that whatever beset them, they would face it together.