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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 1,437
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 1,437 |
beethoven, those are HILARIOUS!
"You take turns, advise and protect one another, even heal or be healed when the going gets too tough. I know! That's not a game--that's friendship!" ~Shelly Mezzanoble, Confessions of a Part-Time Sorceress: A Girl's Guide to the Dungeons & Dragons Game Darcy\'s Place
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 748
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 748 |
"I have no regrets. If you regret things, then you're sort of stepping backwards.
I'm a believer in going forwards." ~Kate Winslet
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,837
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,837 |
This is my favorite: Q. How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Only one. He just holds onto the lightbulb while the world revolves around him. Great selection, all and great story Sue! More soon!  Artemis
History is easy once you've lived it. - Duncan MacLeod
Writing history is easy once you've lived it. - Artemis
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,069
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,069 |
 Oh, my. Beethoven, thank you. I've heard them before (must have gotten the same email), but some of those just cracked me up. My favorites seem to all include the questioning of doctors ... >> ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you
>> examined the body?
>> WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
>> ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
>> WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him! and >> ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
>> WITNESS: No.
>> ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure ?
>> WIT NESS: No.
>> ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
>> WITNESS: No.
>> ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
>> WITNESS: No.
>> ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
>> WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my
>> desk in a jar.
>> ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still
>> been alive, nevertheless?
>> WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have
>> been alive and practicing law.  BJ
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,292
Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,292 |
I so agree with BJ. The best ones are the Lawyer-Doctor exchanges. I'm still flushed from laughing so hard. Seems like doctors are really cool.
The only known quantity that moves faster than
light is the office grapevine. (from Nan's fabulous Home series)
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 1,662
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 1,662 |
Yeah, that alive and practicing law one is hilarious. I have to admit, I like the "date of conception" and "what were you doing at the time?" one as well. Embarrassing situation. Sometimes I think law school just teaches people how to talk for an hour and think up the dumbest question possible.
I think, therefore, I get bananas.
When in doubt, think about time travel conundrums. You'll confuse yourself so you can forget what you were in doubt about.
What's the difference between ignorance, apathy, and ambivalence?
I don't know and I don't care one way or the other.
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 299
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 299 |
Love the jokes, but I have to say, I have worked for doctors and worked for lawyers. The lawyers are much better to work for and don't think they are Dr. God  .
thanks!
rkn
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 29
Blogger
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Blogger
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 29 |
Funny jokes!! LOL LOL LOL :p  
any place, any where, any time
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 91
Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 91 |
Help you with what?! :p I though you can figure out by you're self??  Well you still learn...... Just Kidding okay?  Don't kill me Monday  -xxx- Lizz
Lois: Oh leave that truth and justice stuff to Superman would you?!
Lois&Clark *sight*
Lois: See, I knew I shouldn't have told you! But you're my partner right??
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 29
Blogger
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Blogger
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 29 |
I will kill you   by x sun x
any place, any where, any time
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