Part 66...
“Bernie. Oh god. I forgot. Of course. Bernie. Yes… yes… I do think he could help!”
She saw the gleam of an idea growing in Clark’s eyes, and felt dread suddenly at the pit of her stomach. All along, she’d been trying to convince him to do something to her that would be absolutely terrifying to her. And now – now that it may have worked – now that he may have been convinced – she felt a sudden urge to get as far away from him as possible. No! No – I changed my mind!
“Wh – what … do you mean? How… “
“Oh – god… no – no – no – not that,” he said, pulling her close again, trying desperately to reassure her with his touch. “Never that…”
“Then what,” she asked softly. “How could he help?”
“Lois – he’s a doctor. He could… alter the look of your burn mark – you know? Or… do some surgical procedure to remove it – or – or something. I’m sure he could come up with something. Would you be willing to go see him? To go talk to him about this?”
“That depends on you – I mean – are you willing for him to know about – the other world…the other you? Maybe – maybe it could turn him against you –maybe he’d start trying to find ways of stopping you - so... so if you ever… I mean – we both know you never would – but what if he started thinking that you could?”
“It’s a chance… and I’m willing to take it.”
Part 67
“Ready to go back,” he asked her softly, holding out a hand to her. He still approached her cautiously, not wanting to jar her into bad remembrances.
“Wait… wait… okay?” Her voice was nervous and strained.
He looked at her carefully, suddenly worried that all this discussion around her burn mark had brought up her fears back to the surface.
“What’s wrong?”
“I… do… do you want to see my scar? Oh… god. That sounds like the world’s worst pickup line, doesn’t it? But… do you? Uh… want to see it? I know – I know you’ve already seen it – but – you didn’t… with my knowing about it… and – I – I kind of wanted to – share it – that sounds stupid, doesn’t it? Hey – let me share my disfiguring mark with you – because we all know the way to a man’s heart – “ She stopped the outflow of increasingly panicked chatter when he came over to her, and grasped her hands very gently.
“Lois. Of course… if you … if you want to show - me – I’ll – I’ll … “
“Good. So it’s not like I’ve just made both of us very nervous or anything,” she laughed nervously.
“Nope – no nervous people here.”
She flashed him a weary smile, grateful that he didn’t try to talk her out of believing he was nervous. She could tell that he was –it was obvious in the stance of his body and in the look in his eyes.
Resolutely, she stepped away from him and his hands dropped effortlessly away from her.
Suddenly, a vision hit her minds eye – of backing away, of hands clamping tight on her arms, holding her - – pulling her in. She squeezed her eyes shut, and gasped as she tried to dispel the image.
He held his breath. Waiting. What was going to happen? If she has a panic attack, how do I get her out of here? I’m the only flight out of here.
She opened her eyes, and they looked so weary. So tired. Fed up. Anger shone in the brown depths. Anger at Lord Kal. Tempus. Anger at herself. I should be past all this by now. How can we ever hope to be married if I still act this way?
“Lois – you know – this can wait… till… never… if you…”
“No. You have to let me do this… okay? Don’t talk me out of it.”
“Okay.”
She waited a few long moments, as if mustering the courage, and then, in a surprisingly swift and graceful motion, slipped her shirt off over her head.
Clark winced internally as he felt his own body respond to the sight of her. I can’t. I shouldn’t want her. Not now. Not in this situation. Not when she’s showing me this horrifying thing. Not when she’s so scared – so brave… I can’t let her know that I want her. But…she looks like a mermaid standing there… the sea, her hair – that body… think of something else! The scar. Think of that. Think of anything but how beautiful her skin gleams.
Lois saw his inner struggle. It’s okay, Clark.
She turned slowly, and moved her hair aside, baring the mark to his gaze, trying desperately not to slip back into the bad memories of how she got the scar in the first place.
He didn’t move – remaining a safe distance away from her, giving her the space he felt sure she must need. He looked at her scar, and he was taken aback by the anger that suddenly raged to life within him. The scar was a distinctly alien symbol. Menacing. Cold. Ugly. It also seemed disquietingly familiar.
After a few short eternities, she let her hair fall back and turned to face him.
“Not so pretty, huh?” She tried to sound nonchalant.
He felt his heart pounding wildly. Panic set in. I have to calm down. God, she’s going to know I’m angry.
“Horrifying,” he breathed out. He wanted to hold her. To comfort her. To comfort himself, but he sensed her need for distance – and he respected it. She needs me to be strong, so she can be strong. I get that.
“Hey. Flatterer. That’s just what ever woman wants to hear…” She attempted to lighten the moment but then stopped as she realized how stupid it was to even try. “Uh… thanks…”
“Thanks?”
”For… for facing that. I’m sure you didn’t want to.”
“I …”
“Do you understand now? Why I need to rid myself of that? “
“I did before. But now… “
“If someone saw it, and thought you did it – I couldn’t bear that. Couldn’t bear the gossip – the suppositions – the insinuations… the weird looks… not about that. You know?”
“I know.”
“Could you stand it?”
“If people thought… that… I… well – I’d be pretty unhappy about it – but you know – Lois, I wouldn’t want you to go through anything for just that reason alone. To allay my own feelings.”
“No. I assure you – your feelings, while important, are not paramount in this situation. This time, it really is all about what I want.”
“As it should be.”
“So… we’re Bernie-bound now?”
“Yeah.”
“Well…come on! Don’t dawdle. Up, up and away – and all that!”
“Don’t you want to put your shirt back on? Not that I’m complaining or anything… “
“Oh. Yeah. That…”
[tbc]
