Okay, I wanted to of course thank Diane, TEEEJ, and Sas for their help. 
But I also wanted to apologize for this part being a tad bit shorter. I know some of you are getting impatient, but trust me when I say bear with me. There's a bit of a roller coaster ride coming up soon. 
~~~~Part 12~~~~
Lois plopped down on her couch with a contented sigh after she’d seen Clark out. Clark had gotten them some enchiladas, rice, beans, and of course some taquitos from the all night Mexican restaurant in her neighborhood. She’d probably never be able to think about a taquito again without smiling. The food had been spicy and delicious, just the thing to hit the spot.
She was just about to get up when the phone on the end table jangled, startling her a bit from her tranquil mood. Who was calling so late?
“Hello?”
“Lois! I’m so glad I caught you at home finally!”
“Martha, hi! How are you doing? How’s Jonathan?” Lois smiled again and settled fully back into the couch cushions.
“Good, good. How are you, Lois?”
“I’m good, Martha.”
“Really?”
Lois noted the hopeful tone in Martha’s voice. Yeah, when she thought about it, she did feel good. “Yeah.” She smiled. Things were going well. She had a big story to work on and a full stomach.
“So tell me what’s going on. And why have you been so hard to get a hold of lately?”
Lois could practically hear the smile in Martha’s voice. “Clark and I are working on a story. A big one. Oh, Martha, it’s just so good to *finally* be investigating something again.”
“That’s great, Lois. So you’re really doing okay, then? I mean, you’re getting plenty of rest and eating enough, right?”
“Well...” Okay, she wasn’t getting quite as much sleep as she *should* be getting, but the loss was for a good cause. “I might have missed out on a little bit of sleep in the past few nights, but Clark and I were on stakeouts.”
“Lo-is. That’s not good for the baby. I want my little grandson or granddaughter to be healthy, you hear?” Martha’s tone was light, but Lois could detect the motherly concern behind it. The thought made her smile. She knew Martha was worried about her just as much as she was worried about her granddaughter. But the doctor had said both of them were doing just fine-- Oh, my! She’d completely forgotten to tell Martha about the sonogram. “Martha! I can’t believe I forgot to tell you. I had my first sonogram today.”
“Lois! That’s so exciting! So how’d it go?”
“Oh, Martha, it was wonderful. I heard the baby’s heartbeat and I got to see her too. The doctor said she couldn’t tell for sure, but it’s probably a girl. We’re going to have a little girl. You should have seen it Martha, and heard it, the sound of her heart beating so fast, the sonogram monitor was all green and grainy and I felt embarrassed that I couldn’t see anything, but then the doctor pointed her out and I saw. It was really a sight to see.” Lois imagined herself a geyser, one that had just come sputtering to an end, and her shoulders slumped. “I wish you could have been there.”
She wished *someone* could have been there. Clark in particular. But Martha’s presence would have been comforting. Why hadn’t she thought of that?
“Oh, Honey, that’s great news! And I wish I could have been there too.” Martha paused for a moment. “It’s okay to be upset you know.”
No it wasn’t. She was supposed to be happy. Ecstatic. “What are you talking about, Martha? I’m fine.” Lois swiped at the tears on her cheek. Her voice didn’t sound *that* shaky. Did it?
“Lois. I know you’re torn up inside. Let it out, Sweetie, it’s okay.”
Leave it to Martha to read between the lines. Lois wondered if that was a motherly sixth sense Martha possessed. Lois sniffled. “It *was* really great, Martha. But I couldn’t help but notice Clark’s absence at every turn. He should have been there. This is his baby, part of him. He’s never had that before. Don’t get me wrong, you know he loves you and Jonathan more than life itself, but this would have proved to him that he belongs here, given him roots.” The tears were back now, full force. “He’s missing everything, Martha.”
“Oh, Lois. It’s okay. He can still have all that. He’ll make it back, you’ll see.”
“I hope so, Martha. I hope so.”
Lois stayed on the phone for a while, listening to Martha’s soothing voice. She knew Martha couldn’t offer any real reassurances of when or if Clark was coming home, but just having her there on the other end of the line was comforting enough. After a few endearing stories of Clark when he was a baby, Lois said goodbye to Martha and found herself *almost* as content as she had been before the phone call. She finally forced herself to get up and head for bed.
***
After leaving Lois tonight he’d walked around the streets of Metropolis for a while. An hour or so, maybe, just taking it all in. There was still quite a bit of noise, even at the late hour, but the night was blissfully quiet compared to his own Metropolis. Now, back at home, Clark sighed heavily as he settled on the bed. It’d been quite a day. An extremely emotional day for Lois, he knew. The interview with Ms. Harris had left them both in an energetic mood, but right after, they’d *both* been a little emotionally drained by Lois’s appointment. Lois had been exceedingly distraught and their connection had made it impossible for him to work. The emotions had subsided for a while. Until their meeting with Joey Bermuda. Lois had told him how Joey’s revelations had upset her. He hadn’t told her just how much he’d been shaken by the whole ordeal. Clark wasn’t sure if his horror had been from imagining such a thing happening to him, or if he was feeling empathic towards what his counterpart had experienced.
Holding Lois while she’d cried herself out had been a challenge. There was no acting when they were alone. Just him and her. She’d felt so right in his arms, he’d started to wonder again what he was really doing here. And the idea kept slipping into his head. What if he was supposed to stay here?
But it was a stupid idea. Galactically stupid. Literally. Though try as he may, Clark couldn’t get the idea out of his head. Was this whole charade really supposed to be temporary? Was Clark coming back? Or did it even matter if Clark came back at all? He just wasn’t sure anymore. What if H.G. Wells had brought him here for a completely different reason? There was no Lois in his universe, and now there was no Clark in this one. Maybe Wells was trying to make things right in at least one universe. Logically, the scenario worked. This would obviously be the better universe. Superman and Clark Kent were two separate people here and it would be easier than having to explain Lois’ presence in his universe.
He snorted. Yeah. Logically. Right. It was crazy. Stupid even. Lois loved Clark, not him. Wasn’t that why she had been crying in the first place? Over her Clark. Not him. But what if Clark never came back? What if Wells didn’t either? Could Lois learn to love him? Would she settle for him? Would she even begin to love him the way she loved her Clark? They had that connection. He guessed it wasn’t as strong as the one she shared with his counterpart, but maybe it would grow with time. Maybe…
No. The whole concept was stupid. Foolish. He had to stop thinking this way. It wasn’t right. No matter how much he wished it were. He didn’t really belong here. He didn’t really belong anywhere.
His universe didn’t feel like home. Not entirely. There was something missing. Someone missing. He felt stupid for loving someone so much who he didn’t even know. This Lois wasn’t his and the other one, the one he ached for, wasn’t really his either. *If* she was alive, she didn’t even know who he was. And for that matter, he wasn’t sure who he was either. He’d been Clark Kent for thirty years, but in the last year, he’d become someone completely different. The real him. Or so he’d thought. He’d been able to truly be himself in the time since Lois had visited. She’d shown him that the world would accept him and even respect him for who he really was. But she’d also shown him that there was so much more to life. He didn’t exactly resent her for it, but it was so hard to know that there was someone out there who could make him feel more complete than he’d ever known, but someone who was dead.
It was cruel.
And now this. Going about day-to-day life with an exact replica of the person he longed for, and…playing house, for lack of a better phrase. Though it was more real than any game Lana had ever made him play. The way Lois touched him, kissed him, looked at him when everyone was watching was wonderful. He kicked himself for it, but he kept letting himself get lost in the moment, pretending that she was really his. And every time he touched her, he’d fantasize that the baby she carried was his too. How wonderful would it be to know that he’d help create another person? That the love shared between two people could result in such a miracle.
He couldn’t even begin to imagine. For one thing, he’d never made love with anyone. Not even with Lana, though she’d certainly pressured him. It hadn’t been because he didn’t love Lana, or because he hadn’t found her attractive. He had, but… He’d given Lana many excuses but never the real one. He’d never told her it was because he hadn’t been *in* love with her. Sure he’d loved her, and more than just as a friend, but he’d always known deep down that something wasn’t right. He knew, given Lana’s dominance, he might have given in eventually, but his heart wouldn’t have been there. Ever.
Lois had shown him where his heart truly lay, but unfortunately, not where to find it. Now he wondered if he’d remain alone and celibate forever. There were times when he’d thought about a one-night stand, but he’d always changed his mind. Somehow, he knew that the physical release would only imprison his heart further. It was just like when he’d fantasize…the love, the passion, the emotion…was all there in his mind until he’d finish alone. Now that he was here, in the wrong universe with Lois, the whole ordeal was even worse. His fantasies were of her. And not only did he have to spend countless hours with her, he had to do it knowing she wasn’t his and would never be his. Clark eventually crawled under the covers and curled up on his side. The tears came then, as they always did and it made him feel foolish. Superman the crybaby. If the world only knew how pathetic their so-called hero was.
***
tbc…
