Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic Shape Of My Heart 1/7 - Comments

Okay, I've reached that stage familiar to many an author where if I don't hit that post button now I ain't never gonna ), but as it's at the end of the story, I figure I'll have heard back from her with anything she thinks I should add before I have to post that bit. <g>


LabRat

Yay, a new Labrat story!

Interesting. Very interesting.

I have no idea where you're going, but I know I'm going to love the final destination. Plus, I absolutely love Robert Frost's poetry, so any story that refers to one of his poems even in passing, is going to get passing marks from me.

Irene

Labrat, I liked this story. I like the way it begins right in the middle of the problem. The one flake of snow on Lois' cheek set the scene. Except I guess I haven't seen the blanket of snow that must be there from the blizzard they just endured. Are they snowed in now as well as stranded? You know, I wondered as I read this why not just put the car in neutral and push it slowly into town. It'll take a long time, but at least they'll both be closer to town...I know, silly idea.

I am intrigued by the way you're introducing the kryptonite problem. I've always wondered why he doesn't fall when flying or something. That was a good way to show us the seriousness of the problem. No powers versus intermittent powers.

I liked the way you had Lois upset and miserable about the trees and the woods and all things not citified. I liked the way Clark's head was under the hood and yet he didn't know how to fix things. He had figured out the photocopier that day, but perhaps without x-ray vision he hadn't been able to know the problem. Of course, he always had to learn as he went along in life...first aid lessons, etc.

Their conversation was very true to life. Her unsurity about Lex and her feelings about Clark talking about her private life...it was all well done. It hinted at the fact that she might not be all that happy about being with Lex, but moreso with the lifestyle of all things citified in riches.

I had wondered why he didn't heat up the car before he left, so was glad to see he did it on the way.

You made it quite understandable why he was upset about losing his powers, the red panic, the not knowing what the pattern would be, not knowing who had the kryptonite...

It's obvious you have a plot happening behind what we see in this first part. But you've hooked the reader with the car scene. I find myself hoping for this and not that, worried about this or that; so you've really caught me with a hook.

Looking forward to what comes on Tuesday.
Nancy

Yay! A new story and brrrrrrrrrrr..I'm cold already!

So we have them stranded in the middle of nowhere and Clark's powers are intermittent at best..*sigh* sounds like a problem and I know that's an understatement.

Great start..yet another reason to obsessively check the boards (like I need another!!)

~Liz

Hi Boss. if people paid me to write or to read their stories I´d be rich!)

Anyway. I´m gonna finished it up later, but I love the way we´re being thrown straight into the problem and on a different place. (Not the common places like the Planet or at their house and stuff).

I´ll edit this later with further comments.

EDIT: I laughed out loud cos before i could read the rest I answered the same way (Who thinks: wow!!! Boss ( ) is writing again. I have to sit back, watch and learn.)

Yay sounds like a good one Labby. Glad to see one of my favorite authors back in action. Laura

Hmmm. Intriguing opener. Nice that you're doing a proper job on Clark's power loss, rather than just setting it up as the plot device to keep them stranded in the woods.

I happened to noticed a typo: Aren't you supposed to have been tinkering with farm tractors before you leave the womb or something?

Of course, knowing Rat, maybe it's a deliberate mistake to make the speech seem more natural <g>. [Edit: actually, reading it again, maybe 'leave' is just as good as 'left'. Oops...]

Also, twenty-first century? I thought that, traditionally, we assumed that the actual air-dates of the eps is when stuff happens in L&C, making this (surely) a twentieth century time-frame? No big deal, of course - personally, I've always found it a little weird that people stick so rigidly to the air-dates of the show when dating events in L&C. TV shows, for me, happen out of real time; they exist in a sort of fantasy timeline which only bears a vague relation to reality <g>.

Yvonne

Definately a great start, Labby!

As has been said above, I don't know where we're going, but I love that it makes me dig deeper into the story. You've done awesome with the setting- making us see the sky, dread the snowfall that's coming, and rub our hands together for warmth.

Clark's powers, or lack of at times, is a set up for something... don't know what... but something. I am a little worried about his leaving her out there with the lions and tigers and bears. He heated up the car- will she notice the change from when she first got in there? It will be interesting to get Lois' POV. It's bound to get dark and she's a target for introspection whenever she's alone.

Not to mention that it's cold, there's huge trees, and she's already a mite peeved!

Looking forward to the next 6 parts (does that make this a vignette for you?)

~sunkist

Ooohhh - OK, I was searching for this all day over on the Nfic thread. I'm just so used to going there first!

Anyway....so glad you started posting this, Lab. From the first jump you pulled me in. I just found the imagery that you've created so beautiful - the forest muffled in snow. I can just picture the scene.

Too, I love the exchange between Lois and Clark - sets us right smack dab in the middle of their relationship. More than partners, friends for certain. Still that spark of rivalry.

I can tell everyone that this story is a treasure. But that's all I can say...beta's vow to keep her lips sealed

Lynn

Hate to do this, but...

"Yeah. What they said."

Yay, new Labrat story!

Ooo, Robert Frost. Cool.

No idea where this is going, but I so want to find out.

Interesting bit with the aftereffects of the Kryptonite.

Good job with Clark's reaction to that, and making us feel how terrified he must be.

Oh, and hey -- New take on HoL. Nice.

So... What do you mean I have to wait until Tuesday before I can read more??

Paul, who hasn't seen the trailer yet because he's on vacation and trying to make do with a somewhat shaky 10k dial-up.

Wow, Rat - lovely start! She's missing a date!!!!

And then... total change of mood to poor Clark, trying so hard not to be anxious. So hard that I'm wondering whether there's some red K around somewhere!

It would be hypocritical of me to yell at you for only posting twice a week, but I will say I'm hanging on the edge of my seat and biting my nails to see the next part...

Mere

Yay!! A new Rat story!! I love, love, love this one. As usual you gave us that fantastic banter between Lois and Clark, and some lovely atmosphere.

My favourite line?



Can't wait for the night... you know, needing to be close so that they don't get cold and all that.

Kaethel

So Labby's writing... This is a good thing.

It's a short... Oh well, we'll take what we can get.

Interesting start. We do need more information as to the problems with Clark's powers. It will be fun to see that unfold as the story goes on. Still, I don't see why he wouldn't risk trying to run, or fly back to the last town so he can get there as quickly as possible. Lois is in a life and death situation there. If the powers cut out, oh well, he's no worse off then if he was walking at regular speed.

Take it from someone who has experienced 'real' cold weather. It's no fun. You always hear in the movies that freezing to death doesn't hurt it's like falling asleep. Yeah, maybe after your body has numbed up so much you fall asleep, but trust me... doesn't hurt? Baloney. Being really cold is miserable and it does cause you to experience physical pain. Before that frostbite numbs up your extremities they undergo definite painful sensations. And warming back up again? You don't want to know.

So, is Lois going to freeze to death?

Tank (who thought it would be funny if Clark, in trying to warm up the car, would have heated the gas tank too much causing it to explode)

Well, this is going to be wonderful. Full of angst, what with them stuck in a snowbound wilderness with no transportation, and Clark worried about his suddenly unreliable superpowers...

And of course, he'll quite naturally be obsessing over this...
::happy sigh:: Yup, I can definitely dig my teeth into a story like this. And even though you may have ended up with a "plot", Labby, you can still take heart - with only 7 parts, that's a definite vignette for you...

And the fact that Lois can't even admit to herself that Lex is her fiancé - that doesn't bode well for that relationship, does it?

Loved the bit about milking the pigs. Very Lois.

Looking forward to Tuesday.

Kathy

I, like HatMan, me too. I love what Tipiwoman said and I agree too.
I don't think it is silly.

I feel silly, but in the beginning I must have skimmed over the first reference to snow. I didn't realize it until Lois was complaining. *blush*

I love the writing style!!!!!!! The vocabulary - thumbs up:
I am enjoying the new setting they are in. It is different than the usuall Planet stuff, as MDL said:
Their bantering seems very real. I enjoy the thoughts Lois has going inside her head. They seem like very real 3D characters.


I agree to Sunkist.

My husband said the same thing. You both make me laugh!! LOL.

I'd say more, but my husband is calling. We are going to check out the 'Parade of Homes'

Please more!

Wow! Already this story shows an affectionate relationship between L&C and Lois' indecisiveness where Lex is concerned.

Clark's powers are sometimey? Whoa! Great plot device!

This is showing all the signs of another great epic. I look forward to the next posting.

Rat, I'm *thrilled* that you started posting this one! Lynn's trailer had me intrigued from the moment I watched it, and the story definitely has me hooked already! I'm excited to see that it's set around HoL, too.

So a snow bound, awfully powerless (in more ways than one!) L&C, dancing around a particularly touch-and-go period in their relationship? Sounds good to me!

Can't wait until Tuesday!

Tracey

This story hooked me right from the start.

Roo said: I couldn't agree more. There were so many lines I fell in love with. Pure poetry. For example:

and

and of course,

And this is just from the first few paragraphs!

Not only is it masterfully written, but the storyline has got me eager to read more. What happened to Clark's powers? Will they go out all together? When will they return? Will this be a revelation story? Oooh, so many unanswered qustions. I am counting the days until Tuesday!

- Vicki

Hey, the boss of us all is writing again! Yeah!

Nothing left to say except that I too love Robert Frost's poetry and we all feel like our cars stalled in the middle of a snow storm!

Looking forward to #2!

LabRat

WOW!

Tricia