Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic Captive Audience - Part 3/3

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From Part 2

“You’re right. I don’t believe you,” he said flatly, getting up from the couch and walking into the kitchen.

How could she do that to him? How could she lie to him like that? Pretending feelings that he knew she didn’t - couldn’t - feel. Was she trying to hurt him even more than she already had?

What on earth made her think that he’d believe a word of it?

“I think you’d better leave, Lois,” he said abruptly, harshly, without turning to look at her.


*********


Part 3


She shouldn’t have told him. She’d known that he wouldn’t believe her. So why had she put him and herself through the pain of seeing it happen?

Now, she’d not only hurt Clark even more, but it was clear that she’d wrecked any chance of repairing their friendship. She’d made him hate her.

She’d hurt Clark, but she’d hurt herself even more.

He was right. She needed to leave. If only she’d left earlier, as she’d tried to; if only she hadn’t listened to his persuasions and allowed herself to stay. If only he’d never let her come in the first place.

Clark had been right all along. It really had been too late for talking.

Her vision was blurry suddenly, and she had to grope around her for her coat and car keys. What had she done with them, anyway? Those darned things... She could go without her coat, but her keys...?

All the time she was searching, she was conscious of Clark’s forbidding figure, standing only a few feet away, and yet so far away that he might as well have been on another continent. He wanted her out, and his silent, brooding presence reminded her that she’d very much overstayed whatever reluctant welcome she’d had in the first place. If only she could find her keys...

Giving up, she muttered, without looking at Clark, “I need to call a cab. If I can just use your phone... I’ll wait downstairs until it comes.”

“What do you need a cab for?” he queried tonelessly. “You came in your car, didn’t you?”

“Can’t find the keys.” The words came out quietly through gritted teeth as she forced her voice not to break.

“You mean these?” Suddenly, there was a jangle as something was dangled in front of her face.

“Thanks,” she muttered, grabbing them. “I’ll get out of your way now.”

Silence greeted her statement, but then suddenly a large, solid body blocked her path. “You’re in no fit state to drive,” Clark said, his cold tone overwritten by reluctant concern.

She shrugged. “I’ll be fine. You want me to leave, and it’s for the best. Just let me go, Clark.”

He was silent again. She was doing her best to avoid looking at him, but she was conscious that he wasn’t moving out of her way.

Finally, he said quietly, “You’d better stay here. It’s going on for three in the morning. And you’re upset. If you drive now, you’re liable to have an accident.”

“Maybe it’d be better if I did.” The mumbled words escaped her before she could stop them.


*********

Clark froze, unsure that he had heard Lois correctly. She couldn’t have said... she couldn’t have meant... no! But one look at her face informed him that she wasn’t kidding. The anger that had eaten at him since she had pretended to be in love with him was immediately drained.

“Don’t say that.”

She looked at him, her eyes a void, and he paled.

“Lois, if anything happened to you... I can’t even bear to think about it.” He reached for her arm, but she flinched away.

“I’m not asking for your pity, Clark.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

She didn’t answer, but she stared at him for a long moment, as if committing his features to memory. Suddenly, he realised that if she walked out of his apartment now, he would probably never see her again. That if he let her go, none of the hurt they had inflicted to each other tonight would disappear. It would grow into a dull pain that time wouldn’t soothe.

“How did it happen?” he asked as she started to turn away.

She stopped and shifted her eyes back to him, but still remained silent.

“How did we go from best friends to complete strangers? How could we let it happen? Lois, you’re the best friend I’ve ever had. We’ve grown so close over the past year. I think you could easily say you know me by heart, and it wouldn’t be a complete lie.”

Superman notwithstanding, he mentally added. But she knew and understood the super-powered part of him more than anyone else, too. In fact, she really knew him completely, even though as two people.

“But you don’t know me,” she said at last, her expression still bleak. He started to protest, but she held up a hand. “If you knew me, you wouldn’t accuse me of playing with your feelings. Of lying about my feelings. I’ve been handling a lot of things very poorly, Clark, but I would never lie to you about something that important.”

“How do you expect me to believe you?” he asked quietly. “How can I believe what you told me when you dismissed me so easily in front of Superman?”

“I didn’t dism - Hang on a minute! How do you know what I told Superman?”

And suddenly, the animation was back. The bleakness in her eyes had vanished, to be replaced by a look of challenge.

“Lois, you do know me very well. But there is one thing about me that you don’t know. That you probably don’t suspect.” It was a split-second decision and he knew it, but keeping his secret from her seemed superfluous now. He trusted her with the information, so that wasn’t even an issue. As for her feelings towards his alter-ego, it had become clear to him tonight that Lois would never be his anyway, so it really didn’t matter that she professed love for Superman.

And anyway, anything which took that dead look from her eyes, anything which distracted her from her defeated attitude of a few moments ago, was worth it.

He took a deep breath. “I know what you told Superman today because I was there.”

“You were there? I didn’t see you th... Oh... Oh. You’re... you were there. I... see. Clark, can I sit?”

He nodded mutely.

She made for the couch, but didn’t sink down onto it. She changed direction at the last moment and started to pace about the coffee table. In fact, soon she was in danger of making his head spin. He slumped down onto the cushions and watched her carefully.

She looked agitated, but she wasn’t screaming. It was a good sign, wasn’t it? Every time he had imagined her reaction to his secret, screams and accusations had been involved. Her silence was very disturbing, though. She was probably countering the number of lies he had fed her over a year, and she would launch into a rant any second. “I’m sorry,” he let out lamely, hoping to pre-empt it.

That seemed to bring her back into focus, for she stopped pacing and finally sat next to him. “Sorry? Clark, what do you have to be sorry for?”

“For letting you think I was two people.”

“And for suffering through what I said earlier about you? You, Clark?” She started fiddling with her hands, and he expected her to get up and pace some more any moment. “I know I should be angry. Right now I’m just embarrassed, though. I never suspected a thing! And I call myself an investi -”

“You are a great investigative reporter. The best around. Don’t blame yourself for not seeing what you weren’t supposed to see.”

“That’s not really what bothers me. Though if Sup... well, if you are right about Lex, that makes two men in my life who managed to fool me about their true self. Three, if I count Clark.”

“Clark is me, Lois,” he said immediately. “I never lied to you about who I was. As Superman, I had to hide things from you, but I never lied. And the person you know as Clark Kent, that’s the real me. There was never anything fake about that.”


*********

So Clark and Superman were the same man. And so the man she had loved from afar, the man she had admired for months, the man she always looked up to... had been the partner she kept dismissing all along.

No wonder he wouldn’t believe her. No wonder he thought her insincere.

But how could she know? How could she have figured it out? It wasn’t as plain as the nose on her face that this man, this amazing, fantastic man she had met, who always seemed to rescue her from herself, was also a superhero who saved the world on a daily basis. He was her best friend... and he was also the man she had been infatuated with. He was the man she had rejected... and the man who had rejected her. He was the man she loved... and who loved her, too.

“And Superman?” she asked when she found her voice again.

“What about him?”

“Is he all fake? Is he nothing more than a suit and superpowers?”

“No, he’s not fake at all. He’s... hang on, what do you mean?”

“Superman is you, Clark. Superpowers or not, he’s you.”

“He’s a character I created to use my powers. He’s not me. He’s not fake either because, well, it’s me wearing the suit, but -”

“But that’s it, Clark! It’s you. Even when you’re not dressed as Clark Kent, you are Clark Kent. What I see in Superman is the innate goodness, the constant need to help people in distress, the certainty that when you appear, everything is going to be all right. What I know about Clark Kent is that if he doesn’t do whatever is in his power to help, it’s eating at him. I just wasn’t aware of the extent of your powers before, but you are Clark Kent, whatever the guise you’re in. And I think I saw that in him - Superman.”

Clark looked struck by that. He didn’t reply immediately; instead, he raked one hand through his hair and then rubbed the bridge of his nose.

Finally, he said, “It’s no wonder my mom likes you, Lois. You and she are on the same wavelength.” And, amazingly, there was a note of humour in his voice. And he was even smiling.

Maybe, just maybe, they were going to be all right...

“Clark, I’m sorry,” she said again.

“For what?” He genuinely looked surprised, she thought.

“For everything! But most of all for hurting you, Clark. You’re - you were - my best friend. The last thing I ever wanted was to hurt you. But it seems everything I did in the last few weeks ended up hurting you. No, strike that - ever since we met! It’s just as well you don’t believe me - you’re better off without me,” she finished.

One long arm reached out and tugged her against him. “I’ll be the judge of that, Lois,” her best friend’s familiar teasing, affectionate voice told her.

“Oh, Clark!” Without any warning, the tears came back, and Lois buried her head in his shoulder.

“Hey!” he exclaimed. “Lois... please, don’t cry,” he pleaded, stroking her hair. “We’re okay, I promise. We’re friends again. Aren’t we? And no more apologising, okay?”

It felt so wonderful to be back in his arms. This was where she belonged, Lois knew; cradled in those strong arms, held against that solid chest. It had always been where she belonged, whether the chest wore a shirt and tie, a T-shirt or electric blue Spandex.

She’d been incredibly careless with Clark’s friendship. No more. Not ever. And if the price of keeping him as her friend was that she had to hide her love for him for the rest of her life, she would do it. It would be worth it.

“Okay,” she replied at last, allowing him to tilt her chin up and her head away from his shoulder so that he could see her face. Gentle fingers brushed away her tears, and a butterfly kiss brushed against her forehead. She had to resist the temptation to turn her head and claim his lips.

“I think we’ve both been acting a bit crazy,” Clark said after a moment. “We’ve both done things we regret, and we haven’t always made things easy for ourselves. Look at what I did earlier today! Telling you as Superman that I love you didn’t exactly help matters,” he finished ruefully.

“I still didn’t have to say what I did about you,” Lois said. Clark was being very generous in trying to take some of the blame on himself, which was sweet of him, but it was still the case that she’d behaved very badly. “I can understand why you didn’t believe what I said to you earlier, even if...”

“If?” he prompted when she didn’t continue.

Lois hesitated. He’d already dismissed her avowal of love, and she’d acknowledged herself that she didn’t deserve to have him believe it - that, after the way she’d treated Clark over the past year, she didn’t deserve him.

And yet she couldn’t bear to lose this opportunity, when it sounded as if Clark wouldn’t turn cold on her this time.

“Even if it was true all the time,” she finished quietly.

Clark was silent for several moments, and the steady movement of his fingers over her hair stilled. Then, finally, he said, “I think I could learn to believe you.”

Lois caught her breath. “You could?”

He nodded, his dark gaze holding hers. “If you’re right, and you saw me in Superman all along - yes, I do believe you about that,” he added, in response, she guessed, to her look of surprise. “If so... then you’ve been in love with me about as long as I have with you.”

“But I loved Superman, not Clark!” Lois said sadly, amazed that Clark was being so accepting.

He shrugged slightly. “As Shakespeare once said, ‘what’s in a name?’ You know me, and that’s all that matters. And... I guess I think we’ve wasted enough time,” he added wryly.

“I do love you, Clark,” she told him, all the love she felt for him in her tone. “And I know it took me far too long to realise it, but at least I knew it before I knew that you were Superman. That means something to me, even you don’t mind.”

“Oh, it matters to me too!” he assured her. His hand moved from her hair to cradle her cheek in a soft caress; then he drew her face closer to his.

Lois held her breath; and then their lips touched.

She had dreamed of this moment several times over the past year. Of course, she had often daydreamed of the gentle but confident pressure of Superman’s lips on hers. But at night, when fantasies couldn’t be inhibited and directed by reason, it wasn’t the face of the superhero she worshipped that occupied her dreams. Way too often, and much to her dismay, it was Clark who was kissing her then, shyly, reverently. She always woke with a disgruntled jolt before it could go any further.

And so nothing could have prepared her for the reality of his kiss. He held her close without crushing her to his chest; his hands held her waist beneath her coat, his fingers tracing light patterns through her blouse that sent shivers up her spine and made her arch against him. His lips had captured hers tentatively, a reminder of her dreams about Clark, but when she didn’t pull away, his response was immediate, and she felt swept into the whirlwind of the passion overtaking them.

This was the kiss she'd waited for all of her life. And because of her sheer blind stupidity, they'd almost never got to that point. Clark had felt it, too. He had expressed his wish not to waste any more time, and she had understood; she had been so scared of losing him altogether tonight! And she knew that if he had let her walk out of his apartment, something would have been broken for ever, maybe never to be repaired. They couldn’t let that happen. They hadn’t let that happen.

Both could easily find reasons for not trusting each other; Clark’s secret identity and her stubborn refusal to face her feelings for him could keep them apart... until their need to be together became too strong to resist.

Truth be told, she knew Clark Kent as much as he knew her now. There were no more secrets, no more barriers, no more doors between them.

And that was just wonderful, as far as she was concerned.

Oh, everything wasn’t perfect; they still had a lot to talk about and to set straight between them; they also had to figure out what to do about Lex Luthor and his purchase of the Daily Planet. And then they had to see whether they really could make a go of a relationship. But they’d taken that most important first step.

They’d stepped up and said the scary words. They’d managed to get over the hurt and the suspicion and focused on the important thing: their friendship. And through that they’d found something even better.

Love.


~ The End ~


Wendy and Kaethel