Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK:T Long Road Home-Part 4

Hi,

Great part. I think it's going to be difficult for Perry to let her go.

More ASAP, please.

MAF

Nice progress here, Erin. Interesting to find out that Lex was involved in the west coast crime rings, as well.

I'm a little surprised by these pictures you keep mentioning. I'm not used to seeing pictures of reporters in major papers.

A few minor errors and typos again. "Front-age" story, "Impressively" instead of "Impressive," a brief flashback without the apropriate tense shift, etc. There seem to be at least a few in each part. I'm kind of surprised by that, given the quality of your writing and your BRs.

I like the way you set up Lois's impression of Clark as a "hack" again. Little does she know the real reason for his softball questions. I do wonder what Perry thought of Clark's interview, though.

I'm curious to find out what, exactly, happened to Lois's family. How did they die? When? Why? Were their deaths the reason she left for California?

Too bad she managed to get out of being partnered. I'm a little surprised that Perry let her get away with that, but I'm not really sure how the dynamics are supposed to work, given that she's only visiting.

Looking forward to seeing what happens next.

Paul

Whoa! You've really fleshed this out nicely from the draft I saw, Erin! Very good indeed!

I noticed the typos Paul did too - catch them now and it'll save your GEs some work

Okay, you can post part 5 now!


Wendy

Thanks for the feedback, guys! I'm thrilled to hear you're enjoying it.

Thank you! I'm glad you think so! I have been especially worried about what those of you who have seen a rough outline of this would think, if any of this was living up to what I had mapped out. I hope it does. <crossing fingers>

As for this:

Absolutely! As all you writers know, it's almost impossible to catch everything in your own fic because you're no longer objective. Thanks, Paul, for pointing out which ones I missed. And please, if anyone else spots oversights, by all means, let me know! It will indeed make a GE's work easier.

And Paul:

Now, you'll just have to wait and see, won't you? If I gave away everything at the beginning, what fun would that be? Nothing would keep you reading.

Thanks again, guys! I appreciate you keeping me honest and letting me know what you think.

I'll be posting part 5 on Wednesday, then 6 on Friday.

Good! (Eagerly expecty the meeting between Lois and Clark )

Good story!

I'm looking forward for the meeting between Lois and Clark. They're so lonely. It's sad.

More, please!

Lex Luthor
Now that I've made my opinion concerning this particular villain clear, on to the nit-picky stuff and the praise.

Nit-picky stuff:

Isn't it rather keep your friends close and ...?

I think there's one with too much ...

Praise:
Ah, yes! Lois is forming (once more) an opinion about Clark without getting to know him! I wonder how she'll react to his good looks... Well, basically I can't wait to see them meeting for the first time!

Ah! The potential of this story is enormous... I can't wait to find out what you've got in store for us!



Sira -

PS: I'm glad I could point out the inconcistencies in part 3. That's what we do for getting to read the story before it's 'officially' archived.

And because - as all authors know - the little beggers multiply behind your back as soon as you close down that story file. :p

Erin, I'm really just here to apologise for not having had the time to catch up with this one yet. It's killing me. <g> I know it's a terrific story, having read the part one you posted all that time back, and it's frustrating not being able to catch up now and find out where you're taking us. Typical really, isn't it? Been thinking about this one on and off for months, hoping you'd finish it...and now it's here, fate conspires to ensure I'm missing out.

Plus, you know how I love your stories, generally. I have no doubt that this one too will be added to my 'very favourite, to be brought out and read over and over' collection.

RL has been a bear the last week or so and I have a lot to catch up on that I've been neglecting as a result. /me peeks into her mailbox and goes pale. But once I've done that I'm rewarding myself by coming back here and catching up. You betcha!

LabRat

Got here in the end - slightly later than planned.

Well, it's not failing to meet my expectations so far, Erin! I knew with your name attached I was in for some terrific storytelling and that's just what I've been reading.

LOL'd at Lois's reaction to seeing Clark had scooped her. ROTFL! And then she goes on to nitpick it. Wonderful.

And now we get Lex. I always love reading an author's take on Lex and here you've pinned him down perfectly. And oh oh. He has his eye on Lois - and not romantically. Well...not entirely. <G> Watch out, Lois.

I'm also intrigued by Lois' memories of her family. It sounds as though they were killed when the cab crashed. But I may be jumping to conclusions. I'll be interested to see where that goes. It also sounds as though this Lois was closer to her parents and sister than ours. So now she's been left with less of a support group than usual. Which could make her vulnerable in ways our Lois isn't.

Very interesting to watch the switch of Lois being interviewed as the newbie by Perry and Clark already established at the Planet. Fraught with possibilities. <g>

And some nice introspection from Perry to end this one on.

LabRat