Table of Contents
From Part 3:Lex would want to know why she hadn’t asked how Clark had managed to get onto the beach.
She should have asked him, of course. After all, it was private property - something they’d both ignored after the first couple of minutes. But, as each day had gone by, she hadn’t asked.
She knew why. Clark’s entry into her bored, isolated life up here seemed somehow like a time out of time. He’d appeared almost as if by magic, and part of her knew that if she ever did ask how he’d got there she’d be breaking the spell. She’d be bringing the outside world into the little, private world the two of them were sharing.
Bringing them back to reality.
And reality was... a world in which she was married to one man while...
...falling in love with another.
*********
Now read on...I am not
falling in love with Clark! Lois protested to herself the next morning as she showered.
He is not
as attractive - and just plain nice
- as I’m remembering, she argued as she dressed.
I do not
want to... to touch him... to know what it’s like to be held by him... to be ki-Lois flung down the hairbrush with which she was making increasingly frantic attempts to style her hair. She really had a bad case of missing her husband. That was all it was. All she needed to do was see Lex again and she’d realise that Clark was - nothing. Just a kind-of attractive guy with whom she shared a few superficial similarities.
You talked to Lex last night. For more than half an hour. And you still dreamed about Clark.Clark was a novelty, she told herself. The longer she spent in his company, the more likely it was that she would find something - some
things - about him that really drove her crazy. That made her desperate to get away from him. That would reduce her to stiffly-polite pleasantries - or outright sarcasm; since when had Lois Lane ever worried about being polite? - in order to get rid of him.
That was it. All she needed was greater exposure to the guy. More time spent in his company. And she’d soon be sick of him - and be wondering how on earth she could ever have imagined herself attracted to him.
She checked her reflection in the mirror once more, then rolled her eyes at herself. What was wrong with her, anyway? She’d indulged in far more introspection in the past few days than she ever had in her life before. She hadn’t even spent this much time wrestling with the decision over whether to marry Lex!
Stop analysing the situation to death and just enjoy his company! she told herself.
********
Lois turned her gaze from the laptop screen and looked at her watch again. It was precisely a minute and a half later than the last time she’d looked. And she’d written precisely - she paused to count - four words in that whole time.
She checked her watch again. It was almost three-thirty in the afternoon.
Clark wasn’t coming today.
Every other day, it had been not long after two when he’d appeared. Each time, she hadn’t even seen him coming. She’d been so engrossed in whatever she’d been doing, or trying to do, that he’d somehow been able to sneak up on her.
Which was why she’d been trying, with increasing futility, to work on her book for the past hour and a half.
Idiot, Lane! Trying to summon him up as if it were some sort of spell or superstition!Clark wasn’t coming. And it was a good thing, really.
Clark’s presence over the past few days had made her start to feel... to think... to suspect... To worry that she was dissatisfied with her life. To make her yearn for the way things used to be. To make her miss the Daily Planet, the day-to-day hunt for leads and seeing her name on the front page of the paper. The thrill of the chase. The excitement...
The excitement.
Her life used to be exciting.
Now... well, even when she wasn’t stuck on a beach miles from anywhere, with no transport (no distractions, Lex had called it), her life was... tedious.
There. She’d said it. It was tedious.
Tedious parties. Tedious receptions. Tedious dinners. Tedious meetings.
Oh, she’d enjoyed it all at first. It was such a change from anything she’d been used to. The designer gowns and ultra-expensive jewellery. Having her hair styled for her on every occasion. Finally seeing behind all those hidden doors into places she’d only been able to sneak a peek into when she’d been a reporter.
But then... she’d started to realise how shallow it all was. How superficial. The saccharine greetings. The false compliments. The empty small talk. The insincere smiles. The gossip in the powder-room and the snide comments behind people’s backs.
Not that any of it should have surprised her. The same happened in journalism; she’d lived through years of it. But, for some odd reason, she’d expected something different from these events.
The business dealings and even threats under cover of polite conversations did interest her, and she would have liked to understand more about what went on - but that was the one thing Lex had been insistent upon. Her role was to accompany him, to be decorative, to entertain the other men’s arm candy and, occasionally, to smile brilliantly at some man whose attention - or concentration - Lex wanted distracted.
She was bored with her life. But then, wasn’t that why she was here, working on a book? Lex had seen how jaded she’d been getting. He’d recognised that she needed a new challenge - and so he’d suggested making a start, finally, on the novel she’d been saying for ages that she wanted to write.
But even working on her book didn’t seem to be giving her the challenge, the excitement she needed in her life.
The excitement she’d always had when she’d worked at the Planet...
But surely the Planet hadn’t been the sum total of her entire life? What had she done for fun, for excitement, in her free time?
What free time?
Yes, Lois, when did you ever understand the concept of free time when you worked at the Planet? her inner voice asked her cynically.
Who are you, Lois Lane? Is - was - your entire life summed up by your job description? Is your entire life now the job known as Mrs Lex Luthor? Who is Lois Lane?If she knew the answer to that, Lois thought, maybe she wouldn’t be so melancholy. Maybe she wouldn’t be sitting here staring blankly at an LCD screen and yearning for the company of a man who wasn’t her husband.
“Penny for them?”
“Huh?” Lois jerked her head up. How had he done that
again? Sneaked up on her without her seeing or even hearing him?
“Your thoughts,” he explained with a grin. “Or... no, wait, a penny is far too cheap for you. What should I offer? Fifty bucks? A thousand? Or... maybe a precious freshwater pearl from the Great Lakes?”
“What?” Was he making fun of her? Lois frowned, wondering how to respond.
Clark extended his hand, squeezed into a fist, towards her. As she watched, he opened his hand to reveal something small and round glistening in his palm.
She stared. “Wow! That really is a pearl!”
He grinned. “I found it in the lake early this morning when I went swimming. They’re very rare, especially this far north.”
“It’s beautiful!”
Clark’s smile reminded her once again just why she was so attracted to him. “I want you to have it. Whether or not you tell me your thoughts.”
She should refuse. After all, the only man who should be giving her jewellery was her husband. And yet... Clark looked so earnest and so eager for her to have the pearl. And it would be something to remember him by, wouldn’t it? A beautiful pearl, a souvenir of her summer idyll with a stranger.
“Thank you,” she said softly, and held out her hand to take it from him. Their fingers brushed, and the contact sent a spark tingling through her.
She closed her fingers around the pearl and slipped it into her pocket, putting some distance between herself and Clark as she did so. This was bad. Any minute now, he was going to notice how she’d reacted, and it would be embarrassing. Plus, he knew very well that she was a married woman - what would he think of her for the way she was behaving with another man?
“So,” he said, gesturing with his hand to ask if she wanted to stroll. She nodded and kicked off her sandals, falling into step beside him. “You were looking very pensive. Anything you want to talk about?”
She grimaced.
“Hey, I don’t want to intrude,” he said quickly. “You don’t have to tell me anything. But just in case you wanted to talk... I’m a pretty good listener.”
How could she possibly tell Clark what was on her mind? She’d been thinking about nothing else but him! Lois turned her head, staring out onto the lake, and shuffled her feet in the sand.
“Like I said,” Clark told her in a conversational tone, “you don’t have to tell me anything. We can talk about anything you like. Or we can just walk, if you prefer.”
“Okay.” She turned and smiled at him, and her breath caught at the concerned expression on his face. A man she barely knew, had only talked to on about three occasions,
cared enough about her to look at her like that?
“I talked to my parents last night,” he said, then gave her a slightly shy, slightly embarrassed smile. “I told them that I’d met you.”
Lois gave him a puzzled look. Why would his parents be interested in the fact that he’d met Lex Luthor’s wife? Unless they were admirers of Lex, which she supposed was possible... but then, why would Clark look so sheepish about his confession? Unless, she thought as her heart-rate began to go into involuntary overdrive, he meant that he’d told them that he’d met...
her. A woman he liked. Maybe more than liked.
No. It couldn’t be that. She was *married*, and Clark knew it. And he’d never given any indication that he was in any way attracted to her. If her reading of him was right, the fact that she was married would ensure that he never even thought of her as anything more than a casual acquaintance whom he enjoyed talking with. He was a country boy, after all, brought up in a small town with small-town values...
...the kind of values which she would once have mocked, but which now sounded right. Appropriate. Not like the dubious ethics which seemed to be involved in some of the business dealings Lex’s acquaintances engaged in. Or the casual bedhopping she’d realised went on too.
She shouldn’t have been surprised. It wasn’t as if she was naïve, after all - she’d always felt that she was a woman of the world and that little could shock her, especially not after the kind of stories she’d covered as a reporter. But it was the very casualness of it which had disturbed her.
And, now that she thought about it, she found herself wondering whether Lex was a part of it as well. It was his world, after all. Why should she have assumed that he, among all the corporate types at those gatherings, should be completely above board and ethical? Or that he’d be the one man who would never break his marriage vows?
I'm no saint, Lois. I've done questionable things in pursuing success.And was still doing them, perhaps?
The disloyal thought took Lois by surprise... and made her wonder. Why, in all this time, had she never dug deeper into the public façade - even the private persona - that was Lex Luthor? She never had managed to get that in-depth interview, had she?
Instead, she’d married him, and been assimilated into his world as a consequence.
“Lois? You’ve wandered off on me again.” Clark’s wryly amused voice interrupted her reflections. “Am I boring you?”
“Oh! No!” she exclaimed, pushing aside the nagging doubts about her husband’s probity. “What were you saying? You told your parents about meeting me? Why?”
“Well...” The sheepish note was back again. “Because you’re my journalistic hero. They’ve known that for a while - they've heard me rave about your articles plenty of times. They really got a kick out of knowing that I’d been lucky enough to meet you.”
But he wasn’t meeting Lois Lane, journalist, Lois realised. Instead, he was meeting the ex-reporter, now idle corporate wife. And that was an identity with which she was increasingly uncomfortable. No matter how interesting writing her book was, she couldn’t handle not having a job for very much longer. She would have to discuss that with Lex urgently.
You could just fly back to Metropolis and look for work,her inner voice prompted.
You know the Star would hire you in a heartbeat. Or you could try the New York Times or the Washington Post or another of the big papers on the East Coast - maybe they could use a Metropolis correspondent. Especially one who’s won three awards.“That’s nice,” she said, but much to her horror a wistful note crept into her voice.
Clark touched her arm lightly. “Lois? Is everything okay?”
“Oh, sure!” she protested. But something made her add, “It sounds like you have really great parents.” And that wistful note was back.
His voice was very soft. “And you didn’t?”
Lois bit her lip. “I guess not unless you count a workaholic father who had affair after affair and moved out when I was twelve, and an alcoholic mother.” She groaned. “Why the heck did I tell you all that? I had no intention of telling you that!”
He was silent for a few moments. Then, just as she was thinking of something to say to change the subject, he said, “I guess you find it easy to tell me because I’m pretty much a stranger to you. It’s not as if I’m going to run into your parents tomorrow - or as if you’ll see me several times a week for the rest of your life and have to remember and regret what you told me.”
He was right. Lois knew that. So why did she feel such a sense of loss at the reminder that he was a fleeting part of her life? Not a part of her life at all, in fact; they were little more than two ships passing in the night. A brief summer idyll, as she’d told herself earlier.
She didn’t want to contemplate never seeing Clark again. But that was precisely why she had to ensure that she never saw him again.
A lump filled her throat suddenly, and she stared out across the lake again, not wanting him to see her reaction to his comment.
Never see Clark again after... well, whenever he left to go back to Kansas?
But she needed him! How was she going to finish her book without having him to brainstorm ideas with, to tell her what worked and what didn’t? To reassure her that it was worth writing, that people would want to read it?
Because Lex would be no use at all there. Oh, he’d promise her that he would read drafts for her, “when he had time”. But she knew that he would never have time. And any reassurance he could give her about her writing would be exactly the same as what he’d said on the phone last night.
“You write whatever you like, Lois. If you need to write this journalism book first, then get it out of your system. It doesn’t matter if it’s published or not, does it?” And even as he’d said it, she’d known that he was distracted, that she hadn’t had his full attention. She’d heard rustling in the background - paper being turned, she’d guessed - and the muffled sound of something unidentifiable.
No, Lex would never fulfil the role of amanuensis. Not like Clark.
Still, maybe she could get his email address before he left? Or his phone number?
That would work. Lois brightened and turned back to face Clark, intending to ask him. “Clar - ”
She broke off immediately. While she’d been facing away from him, he’d stepped closer to her, and the concern for her in his expression was evident. And he was standing mere inches from her.
Her breath caught, and her stomach began doing flip-flops.
Clark’s expression changed; the concern faded away, to be replaced by... something else. Something which she dared not put a name to. Something which made her feel warm and tense all at the same time, filled with anticipation, as if she was just waiting for...
something... to happen...
“Lois.” He breathed her name, and she felt the whisper of the word against her cheek.
As if it had been a prompt to which she had to respond, she murmured, “Clark...”
He took a step closer still, and his hand came up, almost shaking as it approached her face. And then he was touching her, his palm warm and caressing against her cheek.
His gaze was intent, focused on her face. And all she could do was look back at him in return - the smooth planes of his face, his strong jaw, the curve of his lips, the faint stubble of mid-afternoon darkening his features. The intent, longing expression in his dark brown eyes... which were coming closer to her as Clark leaned towards her.
Her lips parted and she leaned closer to him, holding her breath as she waited for the kiss which she knew was coming. The kiss which, right now, she knew that she’d been waiting for since the day they’d met. The kiss which she’d die without...
“No!” The appalled exclamation came from Clark and, before Lois could even blink, he’d whirled away from her.
“C-Clark?”
Disappointment flooded her. She’d ached for that kiss. She’d already been anticipating how wonderful his lips would feel against hers. Wanting to reach for him again, Lois took a step towards him.
“I’m - sorry,” he said jerkily. “That was - that shouldn’t have happened. I apologise.”
“I... uh... it’s okay,” she stammered awkwardly.
But he shook his head. “It’s not okay, Lois, and we both know it. I’ve... I should never have come back here after the first day. I thought I could handle it, but just now - that showed how well I can handle it,” he muttered, self-disgust plain in his voice.
“Clark, nothing happened!” Lois protested, trying to squash the need to tell him that she wished something
had happened. But, at the same time, feelings of horror were awakening within her. She was married, and she’d almost kissed another man. What kind of woman was she?
“That’s not the point,” he said quietly, sadly. “The fact that I wanted it is enough. Lois, you’re a married woman. I should never have even thought about kissing you.”
And you should never have wanted him to.No, she shouldn’t. Why had she? That stupid, crazy, illogical attraction to a man she barely knew? A man who, so far as she knew, was little more than a beach bum?
A man you find far
more attractive than you do your husband. A man you have far more in common with than your husband. A man you hate the thought of never seeing again.She should agree with him, tell him that he was right, that he should never have thought about it. That if he hadn’t taken her off-guard, she would have slapped his face. Or pushed him away.
But that would be a lie. You wanted to kiss him.“Clark, forget it. Please. It doesn’t matter. Let’s not spoil the rest of the afternoon.”
But he shook his head. “I’m sorry, Lois. I need to go. And I’d better not come back.”
“No!” she exclaimed before she could stop herself. “Don’t, please. It’s not necessary - ”
“It's very necessary, Lois,” he said roughly, already turning and walking away from her. “I’m falling in love with another man’s wife. I have to go. Goodbye.”
And he broke into a run along the lake-shore.
Lois watched him until he was no more than a tiny speck on the horizon. Then, as a solitary tear trickled down her cheek, she turned away and walked back to the house, ignoring her laptop and other belongings.
Clark was gone. And this time she knew that she would never see him again.
**********
Clark was too ethical to consider getting involved with a married woman, Lois reasoned later as, having refused dinner, she sat alone in the living-room. He was more ethical than she was. She would have kissed him. She had ached for that kiss - and for more.
She was a slu-
No. The truth was that she simply didn’t love her husband. And that Clark had put his finger on it down on the beach.
They were two strangers who’d met by chance and had fallen in love.
She loved Clark. Not Lex. She’d never loved Lex.
She wasn’t just attracted to a handsome stranger. It hadn’t been just boredom which had made her notice him in a way she hadn’t noticed a man in a very long time.
Lois Lane was falling in love, for the first time in her life. And it was with a man other than her husband.
And, finally, her restlessness and dissatisfaction made sense.
She was unhappy because she was in a marriage which was making her unhappy. She was with a man who, for all his good character-traits, did not make up for everything she’d left behind: her job, her friends, the challenges which she’d always relished. If she’d truly loved Lex, she could have been happy without everything which, in the past, had made her life complete.
But she didn’t love him.
It was incredible that it had taken a completely unexpected declaration of love from a near-stranger to make her see that. And yet not so incredible, really. Clark’s feelings for her weren’t one-sided. She cared about him too.
She was falling in love with him, and given that she felt that way, how could she stay with Lex? Apart from anything else, it wouldn’t be fair to him to remain his wife when she couldn’t return his feelings for her. Even worse when she had feelings for another man.
Well, it was time that she did something about that, she resolved firmly. Nothing was irrevocable, even marriage. And, much as she’d always sworn to herself that she wouldn’t repeat her parents’ mistakes, divorce was not out of the question. And it would be better to do it now, anyway, before there were children to get hurt.
She would go back to Metropolis and ask Lex for a divorce. It was the fairest, most honest thing she could do in the circumstances. And it was what she needed for herself. Not only because of her feelings for Clark, but because Clark had shown her what a part of her had known all long: that she wasn’t happy.
And, at the same time, she would contact everyone influential she knew in the newspaper business. Lex had told her that there was no way that the Planet could be rebuilt but, now that she thought about it, she wasn’t sure that she was entirely convinced by that. After all, there had to have been insurance money. So with that and some bank loans, if she could find people willing to stand as guarantor, it had to be possible to reopen the Planet.
Then she would search Metropolis - and Smallville, Kansas - if she had to, for a reporter named Clark. It couldn’t be that hard to find him - after all, how many Clarks could there be whose parents lived on a farm three miles outside Smallville? She’d offer Clark a job... and more, if he’d have her. When the time was right for both of them.
That sounded like a plan. And she’d start work on it tomorrow.
Tomorrow, after all, was another day.
~ The End ~
To be continued in Betrayed - coming soon.
(c) Wendy Richards 2004
wendy@lcfanfic.com
