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Joined: Apr 2003
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,791 |
Thanks, Julie! Hrm, now to find a new picture... no, not enough humor.. no, this won't do either.. eewww... oh, here we go! Have at it, kids, let's see what you can do with this!
"You need me. You wouldn't be much of a hero without a villain. And you do love being the hero, don't you. The cheering children, the swooning women, you love it so much, it's made you my most reliable accomplice." -- Lex Luthor to Superman, Question Authority, Justice League Unlimited
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Kerth
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Kerth
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Lois: Clark what happened here? It looks like a tornado hit! Clark: Yea you could say that it was Superman! Lois: Yea right Clark like Superman would mess up his best friend's apartment Superman: HAHAHA I messed up your apartment and Lois doesn't believe you!
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched they must be felt with the heart
Helen Keller
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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-- Superman: Ha! Gotcha! Now *you* find that paper, and *I* am taking Lois to dinner! -- AnnaBtG.
What we've got here is failure to communicate...
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Blogger
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Blogger
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Lois: Honey, you know, I am all for getting totally into a story, but don't you think you're taking this multiple personality thing you're going to write about a little too seriously?
--- Bernd
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Clark: You had Superman cloned?!
Lois: Hey, I said I'd do anything to have Superman for a boyfriend! It's just a shame the original wasn't interested...
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Clark: Lois, I don't believe this! I just quit my job, acknowledged that you're a far better reporter than I could ever hope to be and declared my undying love for you, and you're going to elope with Superman???
Lois: Sorry, Clark; he asked me first.
Superman: Ready to start a life of endless pleasure and extacy, Lois?
Lois: Okay, but let's hurry up; my alarm clock goes off in half an hour.
------------------------------------
Until today, Clark never subscribed to the Taoist belief that everyone on earth has a double.
~•~
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Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
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Lois (thinking to herself and looking back at Superman then Clark): I thought I had this whole thing figured out. I was just waiting for him to tell me. (now to Clark) "I thought you were Superman."
Clark: "I thought I was too. I mean..."
Melisa
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Blogger
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Blogger
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Clark: Man Lois! What have you and superman been doing?! Superman: 1 guess. *wink* Lois: Errrr.....
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Lois (adressing Supes dummy): "Try this for a deep dark secret: The great flying guy, Superman... He doesn't exist. I invented him. It was working like a charm. Until Clark Kent floated in, told me he was from Krypton and assumes Superman's identity. We never mix business with pleasure. Well...almost never. Well..." Clark : Okay. lemme guess. Remington Steele reruns? Jet-lagged-Carole <--- need I say more?
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
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Clark: Lois...? Is that what I think it is?!?!
Lois: (Blushing & stamering)Uhh...no...its...umm...
Clark: I can't believe it was you that took the life size Superman statue from the park!
Lois: Borrowed! I borrowed it!
_________________________ Trask: Does Superman have any telepathic powers? Lois: (blushing) I hope not.
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,791 |
OKay, after much deliberation, dice rolling, and going eeny-meeny-miney-moe... oh, wait, that was the Kerths. Anyway, the winner for this round is Queen of the Capes. You're up!
"You need me. You wouldn't be much of a hero without a villain. And you do love being the hero, don't you. The cheering children, the swooning women, you love it so much, it's made you my most reliable accomplice." -- Lex Luthor to Superman, Question Authority, Justice League Unlimited
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Posts: 3,054 Likes: 20
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 3,054 Likes: 20 |
Me?! Oh thankyou, Yipee! */me runs off to find picture* Okay, I'm back. Let's try this one:
~•~
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,441 Likes: 1 |
Perry(to Lois, Clark and Jimmy): "FREEZE!"
If she had to move heaven and Earth, perhaps come back to haunt Perry and explain the story after they'd killed her, she would do it.
Waking a Miracle by Aria
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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villain, offstage: MWAHAHAHAHA!! my evil glass-b-gone ray can make anything made of glass disappear, along with whatever is inside it! be amazed at my awesome power! that glass of water you're pouring there, kid? HAHAHA!
<ZAP>
jimmy: <gasp> he did it!
clark: uhm, excuse me? i'm curious... just how, exactly, are you planning to use this to take over the world?
villain: well, i'll, er... zap the lenses out of everyone's glasses, causing mass panic and confusion, and then i'll... uhm...
clark: you do know that those lenses are made out of plastic, not glass, right?
villain: what? oh, right... well, then, i'll... uhm... give me a sec...
lois: can you believe this guy? he isn't even worth the ink it would take to print up a sidebar.
---
perry: okay, everyone. this here is the new jeep. it's a demo model on loan to the paper for a big ad campaign. now, i know it takes up a lot of room, but i need you all to be careful with it. one scratch on the paint and we'll be out a lot of money, not to mention how it'd ruin the publicity pictures.
lois, thinking: oh, now that's a car.
jimmy, thinking: man, i can just imagine myself behind the wheel of that thing...
clark, thinking: how the heck did he get that up here? no way it would fit in the elevator...
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jimmy: ... so then i punched him, like this! and he...
perry: jimmy! what do you think you're doing?
jimmy, thinking: uh-oh. busted. ... whoa, what's he wearing?
lois, thinking: huh. you know, i'd never have thought it, but the hawaiian shirt look actually works for him...
clark, thinking: the whole "heba hoba hooba haba" thing was last week. why is he still dressed like that?
----
perry, singing: you ain't nothin' but a hound dog...
jimmy, thinking: okay, so the left hand goes like this, and then you have to...
lois, thinking: oh, great. he's doing his elvis thing again.
clark, thinking: huh. he's actually good at this. he looks like he could be a professional impersonator. hmm, what's that say? "the church of blue suede deliverance." i wonder...
---
tv: earlier today, superman was lured into a boxing match with a -- can you believe this? -- a cyborg boxer. we have exclusive footage of the bout...
lois, thinking: mmmm... superman...
jimmy, thinking: okay, so he holds himself like this, and goes for the jab like this...
clark, thinking: does the suit really look like that from the back?
When in doubt, think about penguins. It probably won't help, but at least it'll be fun.
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Perry (from offscreen): What is this: the gaming tables at the Hardrock Casino or the Daily Planet? Jimmy, how many times have I told you to teach Lois and Clark how to play rock, paper, scissors on your own time?
Jimmy: Chief, I'm just getting to the good part. See, when you have two rocks, you have a tie...
-- Roger
"The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself." -- Benjamin Franklin
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Jimmy: "...and my fish was this big - Aw man! Chief!! Why'd you have to spoil my first ever fishing story by bringing in that shark you caught?!" Wendy
Just a fly-by! *waves*
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Clark: Jimmy, what...? Jimmy: That was not supposed to happen when I pulled those strings! Julie
Mulder: Imagine if you could come back and take out five people who had caused you to suffer. Who would they be? Scully: I only get five? Mulder: I remembered your birthday this year, didn't I, Scully?
(The X-Files)
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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-- Jimmy: How dare you call me a young, immature boy, Lois! I usually don't hit women, but this time... Resplendent [sp?] man (off screen): No! I won't let you! -- AnnaBtG.
What we've got here is failure to communicate...
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,791
Merriwether
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OP
Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,791 |
Perry: Of course, I can't see Superman's new cape, there's nothing there! Great shades of Elvis, have you never read "The Emporer's New Clothes"??
"You need me. You wouldn't be much of a hero without a villain. And you do love being the hero, don't you. The cheering children, the swooning women, you love it so much, it's made you my most reliable accomplice." -- Lex Luthor to Superman, Question Authority, Justice League Unlimited
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,837 |
JIMMY: "No Chief, I'm *serious*. Superman left a footprint in the mud, and his foot is THIS LONG." LOIS: (thinking) "WHAT did Jimmy just say?" CLARK: (thinking) "Oh, boy!" Artemis
History is easy once you've lived it. - Duncan MacLeod Writing history is easy once you've lived it. - Artemis
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Clark: it's a goose, a swan maybe?
Jimmy: nice try.
Lois: out-of-the-Loch Nessie?
Jimmy: nope. Comme on, it's an easy one!
Perry (OS): Elvis on stage performing "In the ghetto"?
Jimmy (*hopeless sigh*): Cat wrestling for Prada boots at Bloomingdale's sales. Geez! It's the last time I play shadowgraph with you guys...
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