The phone rang, reminding Lois that it was already eleven in the morning and she should be up.
But how often did she have the chance to enjoy peaceful mornings all alone in this house?
She reluctantly picked up the phone.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Lois. It’s Clark.”
Perfect. Just what she needed. “What do you want?”
“What time should I bring Jon back?”
“I told you at noon.”
“I just wanted to make sure…”
“Okay, okay. Bye.”
She quickly hung up the phone and went back to her thoughts.
Jon would be there in an hour. Back to routine.
Yes, but sometimes routine was the best option. Last night, for instance. The dinner with Terence was horrible.
Okay, let’s be fair. The dinner was excellent. The ‘with Terence’ part was the problem. The same evening, with Clark instead of Terence, would be just ideal.
Now, though, it was too late. Her last dinner with Clark had been four years ago - the day before she made it clear she wanted a divorce. The day before she climbed onto that downward spiral that turned Lois Lane, the independent reporter, into that pathetic creature she was now, whose only pleasure in life was... what, really? Work had lost all its fun now that Clark wasn’t around. And Jon was her son and she sincerely loved him, but he was just too much of a reminder of what she’d lost. What she’d deliberately, willingly, lost.
It was her fault. *She* was the one who’d walked out on her family. She had set a goal for herself: to be a good wife and mother. And she had failed. It had taken her two years of marriage to realize she couldn’t be a good wife and mother, while at the same time being a star reporter and having a life of her own. She had failed to find a balance between the two – or four, anyway – and she had to give up on something.
And she’d made the wrong choice.
How do you keep on living a life, when you’re aiming at something you know is wrong? If Clark hadn’t quit from the Planet, maybe he would have encouraged her to go on, to be the best in what she did – even if she had decided it wasn’t worth the sacrifice. But now he wasn’t there, and all motivation had been gradually lost in the thought that she wasn’t supposed to be doing it. Work now was just her means of earning money.
And it all summed up in making her hate Clark more. Because he’d let her go. Because he’d cut all bonds with her. Because he’d succeeded in what she’d failed – be a husband, a father, one of the best investigative reporters and Superman at the same time.
And then, in making her love him even more, because the only reason why he’d done all that was that he thought he was doing what she wanted him to do.
And then, in making her hate herself, because it really was what she had wanted him to do. Because of all the wrong choices she’d made.
She had tried to find what she lacked that Clark had. Why Clark had coped with everything he had to do when she hadn’t. It had been a shocking revelation when she realized that what made the trick was not some kind of great sacrifice. Balance came when everything weighted the same. By giving a little more importance here and a little less there, maybe a little more programming rather than acting on impulse, Clark had his life going on the way he wanted it to be. Instead, she had her life leading her on its own way. And it had led her to the – previous, maybe, but not forgotten – way of putting career first and everything else second.
She shook her head. Now she knew what had been wrong then. But what difference did it make? Time had passed, things had changed. A lot of things.
Maybe the best solution she had was to stick to the routine. Be a working divorcée, mother of a five-year-old, and nothing more than that.
With these bitter thoughts, she lazily got up to get dressed. Jon would be here soon.
Another part of the routine she’d so insistently forced upon herself.
-----
Clark didn’t stay at Lois’s longer than it was necessary. He went, dropped Jon off and left.
Now he was alone in his apartment, pacing around, his conversation with Jimmy from the day before in a loud replay inside his head.
To call or not to call?
And if he called, what would he say?
And what would she say once she heard him?
‘I’m stalling,’ he thought. Quickly, before he could change his mind, he picked up the phone and dialed her number.
“Hello?”
“Lois? It’s Clark.”
“What is it?” she snapped.
Clark bit his lip. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all.
“Ehm… I wanted to tell you…”
“What?”
Her tone took him aback. “Are you in a hurry?”
“What do you want, Clark?”
“Can I come over?”
“Weren’t you here ten minutes ago?”
“Can I come again?”
Her voice lost her irritated tone and became worried. “Is there something wrong?”
It was definitely a bad idea. “No, nothing… Forget it.”
“Clark…”
But he had already hung up.
Lois stared at the speaker, troubled. Then, she put it back and went to her room.
-----
He was a lunkhead. An idiot!
What had scared him so much? He should have talked!
Jimmy’s words were spinning inside his mind. Lois had changed. She had become weak, she was just *pretending* to be a hardball. ‘Tell her how much you miss her, how much you want you and her to be together again...’
He fell on the couch. Jimmy was right, when he’d told him to try. However, there was something very important Clark knew, and Jimmy didn’t.
Lois had always been weak inside regarding relationships. The hard exterior only served to protect her heart, a heart that had suffered too much already when Clark first met her.
Back then, Clark had had the courage to try. In one year, he had gained her trust, her friendship, and, eventually, her love. If he had lost that courage now, it was because *she* was keeping him away! *Him*, the very man she had loved and had a son with! And now, she allowed everyone else to see her pain, and she put on the brave and strong face just for him? The one who had supported her so much, who had given her everything she ever wanted, who had made it clear he lived and breathed just to make her happy? This didn’t make any sense...
Wait...
Clark buried his face inside his hands and sighed audibly. It did, it did make sense.
She only felt the need to protect herself from the people who *could* hurt her. And, obviously, she thought that Clark was the only one who could hurt her.
But why? He had never hurt her! He had only made things easier for her! *She* was the one who wanted a divorce! It hadn’t probably even occurred to her how much she’d hurt him. How betrayed he’d felt back then. How much he blamed himself for their failed marriage.
And what right did she have to feel hurt now anyway? Angry with him, even? Was she forgetting what she’d done?
Jimmy’s voice came back. ‘...she’d rather die than let you see how much your divorce has affected her.’
Realization suddenly dawned and his head jerked up, his eyes open wide. He couldn’t even remember what his answer to Jimmy had been, but now, as he looked at it with his mind free of yesterday’s bad temper, it all looked crystal clear.
She was angry at herself, not him. She was hurting because of what she’d done; she was regretting what had been her choice for a better life. Now Clark was nothing more than a picture of a past she wanted to erase, because it was so painful.
How had it taken him four years to see it?
He rose and headed to the kitchen to get a glass of water. As he drank, he worked his plan of action in his head.
He shouldn’t automatically assume, though, that she still loved him, much as he knew he was probably right. He had to approach her smoothly, one step at a time. If she felt the same, it wouldn’t be too long until they were back together.
He closed his eyes and brought her picture in his mind. She was beautiful as always, and was smiling at him.
‘God, don’t let it take too long. I miss her...’
-----
“...Oh, really? When? ... That’s great! Congratulations! ... Yeah, I’d guess so. So were we, when Jon was born... ... Always being nice, aren’t you, Mom? ... Okay, okay. Give Lucy my congratulations, and tell her we’ll visit as soon as I get some days off. ... Bye.”
Lois hung up the phone, sat back on the couch and began reading the newspaper. Just then, Jon hopped down the stairs.
“Mom, who was on the phone?”
“Grandma Ellen.”
“What did she say?”
“That Aunt Lucy gave birth to her baby.”
“When will we go see it?”
“When we can.”
“I want to go see Aunt Lucy!” he whined.
“I know, I know. But Aunt Lucy is very far away, in California. We can’t go there now. And in a little while, Dad will be here and he’ll take you to his place for today.”
“I want to go see Aunt Lucy!” Jon insisted. “I want to see my cousin! It’s my only cousin!”
“I know, but...”
“I want to see my cou-sin, I want to see my cou-sin...” Jon began singing aloud and dancing around the coffee table.
Lois closed her eyes in desperation and sighed heavily. “Jon, leave me alone, I’m trying to read my paper.”
“Don’t ‘leave me alone’ me!” He run to her, grabbed the newspaper she was reading and tore it into pieces.
“Jon!” Lois got up just as angrily and glared at him. “Go sit on the stairs and don’t move until your dad is here!”
Sticking out his tongue, Jon went up the staircase and sat on the top stair.
Lois bent to pick up the paper pieces, when she heard a noise. She turned around and saw Jon lying motionless in front of the staircase.
“Jon!” she called as she rushed over to him. “Are you all right? Talk to me!”
The boy had his eyes closed and his face was blank.
“Jon!” She grabbed him and shook him. “Wake up, please!”
Jon suddenly opened his eyes and broke in laughter of wild pleasure.
Lois stared at him in confusion. He was laughing? But why? He had just fallen from the stairs...
...On purpose!!
Confusion quickly turned to anger. What was wrong with that boy? Was he sickly twisted, or just plain stupid? He put his well-being in danger just to take his revenge on her? How dare he challenge her like that? Take advantage of her love for him? This was outrageous!
She had *tried* to be nice. But enough was enough. One way or another, he’d learn he’d better not mess with her this way.
She pulled him to her forcefully, despite his attempts to escape, and she managed to get up without losing grip of his hands. Then, she dragged him to the couch and gave him a few good spanks on the bottom. Jon’s face turned red and he started to cry.
Once she thought he’d gotten enough to give him food for thought, she let him down and tried to find something to say. Bad thing was, she was so upset she could hardly form a sentence.
“Go wait outside,” she said severely. “Your dad will be here in any minute. When I’ll come pick you up from the kindergarten tomorrow, I want you to have thought *very* *hard* about what you did today and have changed your attitude.”
Jon looked at her with his teary eyes.
“Now, out.”
Sniffing, Jon took his schoolbag from beside the couch, opened the door and went outside.
-----
Clark froze, right outside the door. Jon was crying.
He x-rayed inside and saw Lois spanking him. Anxiety overwhelmed him. What had happened again? He knew Lois never resorted to spanking unless she had a very good reason to. Adding how Jon was getting wilder day by day, it was probably a nasty trick he’d played on her, or something similar.
He briefly wondered if he should go in and play the referee between those two. But then, again, this was their own business. He’d never had problems with Jon’s behavior, but, if Lois did and this was her way of solving them, maybe he should leave her at it.
He’d better leave. Getting in the middle wouldn’t help anyone. Maybe it would be better if he gave them an hour or two to work things out. Otherwise, being away from each other for a day would most probably put bitterness between them, given the stubborn characters they both possessed.
Yes, it was better this way. He’d come pick up Jon later, and, if he saw things getting worse, *then* he’d interfere. But not earlier. He didn’t need Lois reminding him yet again that she was Jon’s mother and could cope with him on her own.
-----
For the thousandth time, Lois peeked through the window. Jon was still sitting on the doorstep, drawing simple pictures of the robots and androids he used to watch on TV during the weekends on a page of his notebook, completely oblivious of his mother’s observant and worried eyes upon him.
Clark hadn’t come yet. Could it be a super-emergency? She had already turned on the TV, but there was nothing requiring super-assistance. Where the heck was he?
She glanced at her watch. Ten-twenty nine already! He was supposed to be here by ten!
She’d give him one more minute. If he didn’t show up, she’d call.
She leaned against the wall. As always, she felt bad about having spanked Jon. She knew he was probably mad at her right now.
But what else could she do? His behavior was getting worse day by day, and nothing she did could stop it. She constantly tried not to lose her patience, but it seemed like Jon liked to pull her strings every so often.
This was simply frustrating. She’d suffered too much for his sake, he could at least act politely. But even that was probably too much to ask for.
She had considered talking to him like she’d talk to an adult. Explain all what she’d been through, and ask him - beg him, even – to be a better boy. She had been through too much to be able to put up with an ill-mannered child – especially if the child was partly the reason why her marriage had failed.
Then, she had dismissed the idea altogether. He wouldn’t understand. Sometimes she didn’t understand the whole concept herself, either.
She took a glimpse at the clock. Ten-thirty one. And still no sign of Clark.
She picked up the phone and called his number.
“Hello?”
“Clark, is that you? Why haven’t you come yet?”
“I came.”
“When?”
“I came and I left.”
“Why?”
He decided to be discreet. “I heard noise.”
“Listen, Jon is completely out of control. Come pick him up now and tomorrow come over after you take him to kindergarten. We need to talk.”
“I have to go to work tomorrow, Lois.”
“Me too, but this is serious. It’s no big deal if you go to work an hour late. I’d bet you do that quite a lot anyway.”
“All right,” he said, not without some subtle tone of annoyance.
“I’ll be waiting for you tomorrow.”
“Okay. I’m coming to pick up Jon now.”
“All right. Bye.”
“Bye.”
-End of part 3-
