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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Feb 2007
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Lex: And thus ends today's lesson in the care and maintenance of bonsai topiaries. Same time tomorrow, Asabi.
Asabi (thinks): Where'd he leave that clay pigeon shotgun...
When Life Gives You Green Velvet Curtains, Make a Green Velvet Dress.
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Sep 2006
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Lex: Asabi, did you know that the clippings of bonsai leaves make the most exclusive salad in the world?
Asabi (thinking): And, unlike other 'exclusive food', this might even taste acceptable.
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Lex: If only I could make it bear kryptonite leaves... I could feed the salad made from them to Lois, and when Superman comes to her rescue again... then bye, bye, Supes.
Asabi: But what about Miss Lane?
Lex: Of course, I could always feed it to Mrs. Cox and make her jump from somewhere high up. Yes, I think I like that plan better.
The only known quantity that moves faster than
light is the office grapevine. (from Nan's fabulous Home series)
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 777
Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 777 |
Asabi:Damn,that's one big broccoli,boss.
"I'm red-eyed, tired and drunk" Teri Hatcher
"Fun will now commence" 7of9
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Posts: 898
Features Writer
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Features Writer
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Posts: 898 |
Jayne Cobb: Shepherd Book once said to me, "If you can't do something smart, do something RIGHT!
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 177 |
Lex: Now, if I can just catch one of these teeny, tiny squirrels with my tweezers here, I'll have some protein to go in my 'World's Most Exclusive Salad'.
The key to change... is to let go of fear - Rosanne Cash
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Lex: Asabi, take this to England and deliver it to the Knights who say Ni. Maybe then they'll finally hand over that infernal grail I've been wanting... Oh, yes, they'll be wanting that shrubbery. 
"You take turns, advise and protect one another, even heal or be healed when the going gets too tough. I know! That's not a game--that's friendship!" ~Shelly Mezzanoble, Confessions of a Part-Time Sorceress: A Girl's Guide to the Dungeons & Dragons Game Darcy\'s Place
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Joined: Feb 2007
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Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 898 |
Besides the little itsy-bitsy voice (which has seen The Karate Kid series one too many times) in the back of my head wanting to yell at you, "It's a bonsai TREE!" that is frickin' hilarious, QoC! Lex to Asabi: Yes, I remember Miyagi-san. I had him eliminated when I found out his training program was just a way for him to get me to do work for free.
Jayne Cobb: Shepherd Book once said to me, "If you can't do something smart, do something RIGHT!
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Posts: 1,011 Likes: 5 |
Lex: The doctor was right when he suggested I take up gardening for stress relief. Torturing innocent, defenseless beings is always so relaxing, I can feel my blood pressure dropping already.
I wonder if Mrs Cox will acquiesce to a little foot binding this afternoon...
When Life Gives You Green Velvet Curtains, Make a Green Velvet Dress.
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Joined: Sep 2006
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,292 |
Originally posted by shimauma: Besides the little itsy-bitsy voice (which has seen The Karate Kid series one too many times) in the back of my head wanting to yell at you, "It's a bonsai TREE!" that is frickin' hilarious, QoC! Love that one, TEJ!
The only known quantity that moves faster than
light is the office grapevine. (from Nan's fabulous Home series)
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Posts: 3,764
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,764 |
Originally posted by shimauma:
Lex to Asabi: Yes, I remember Miyagi-san. I had him eliminated when I found out his training program was just a way for him to get me to do work for free. HILARIOUS!!!! wax on wax off... Carol
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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I'm declaring QoC the winner!  You're up next Mary.
When Life Gives You Green Velvet Curtains, Make a Green Velvet Dress.
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 3,051 Likes: 20
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 3,051 Likes: 20 |
Eep! Thanks!  Now i have to find a picture...  Okay, this one speaks to me: ![[Linked Image]](http://www.kryptonknights.com/tnaos/capeshot2.jpg)
~•~
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Perry: Is it a dirt stain, or an oil-based stain?
Jimmy: I don't know, Chief. It's a bomb stain.
Perry: Ok right. So, um... bio or non-bio?
When Life Gives You Green Velvet Curtains, Make a Green Velvet Dress.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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"Hey, Chief, what's in the box?"
"It's a present. From Alice. We're still trying to patch up the relationship. She thought it might be interesting to... uhm... spice things up. I'm supposed to open this box now, just before heading home for the night. It's a surprise costume. I bet it's my Elvis duds. Yeah, this looks like a cape, and... wait a sec..."
"Chief? Since when was Elvis's cape red?"
"Uh... yeah..." *Keeps rummaging* "Spandex? And... oh lord. Briefs... Excuse me, Jimmy. I think I need to call Alice..."
When in doubt, think about penguins. It probably won't help, but at least it'll be fun.
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Five yards of spandex at $6 per yard: $30
Five-and-a-half yards red silk: $76.95
Yellow belt with yellow buckle: $12.99
Red Briefs: $7.99
Red Leather, knee-high, flat-heel boots: $149.99
The look on your boss's face when he opens your gag gift on his birthday: Priceless
"You take turns, advise and protect one another, even heal or be healed when the going gets too tough. I know! That's not a game--that's friendship!" ~Shelly Mezzanoble, Confessions of a Part-Time Sorceress: A Girl's Guide to the Dungeons & Dragons Game Darcy\'s Place
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 177 |
Perry: This stitching is exquisite, Jimmy.
Jimmy: Thanks Chief. We learned whipped spider wheels and butterfly chains in my embroidery class last night. Pretty cool, huh.
Perry: You're just going to meet girls, right son?
Jimmy: ...er, yeah, sure Chief.
The key to change... is to let go of fear - Rosanne Cash
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,292 |
Perry: "Jimmy, enough talk. This is a job for Super-You."
Jimmy: "Super-Me?"
Perry: "Yes, Super-You. Just put on this cape and find out if the powers come with it."
Jimmy: "How do I know if I got the powers?"
Perry: "Start with something simple - like jumping out of the window. [Pause] Gosh, I need some quiet."
The only known quantity that moves faster than
light is the office grapevine. (from Nan's fabulous Home series)
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,994 |
Originally posted by CheeseoftheMonth:
Perry: This stitching is exquisite, Jimmy.... SNORT!!!!  That was a riot!!!! James
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Jimmy: Check it out, Chief. ![[Linked Image]](http://www.buttondrawer.com/product_images/JHB6311.jpg) Perry: No wonder he lets people assume he's an orphan...
When Life Gives You Green Velvet Curtains, Make a Green Velvet Dress.
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Posts: 1,437
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 1,437 |
*snarfk* gr8tshades, LMAO!
"You take turns, advise and protect one another, even heal or be healed when the going gets too tough. I know! That's not a game--that's friendship!" ~Shelly Mezzanoble, Confessions of a Part-Time Sorceress: A Girl's Guide to the Dungeons & Dragons Game Darcy\'s Place
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