Last time
He parked the car. And then, before she could do anything, he gently put his hands on the sides of her face, holding her there. He leaned in and gave her a slow, loving kiss that very gently lit embers and helped urge them to a strong conflagration. He drew apart and grinned at her, taking in her flushed face, her parted lips, the dazed look in her eyes.
“Might as well go in looking like we’ve been up to something.”
And now...
Nervously, they stood in front of the door.
“This is it,” she said, her voice betraying her agitation.
His hand found hers and held it, squeezing gently for reassurance.
“We’re in this together.”
“I know…. I’m still scared.”
“I’m nervous too. But we can do this!”
“I’m ringing the doorbell,” she warned him.
“Okay.”
No sooner had she rung it, when Alice had opened the door.
Lois felt lost in a haze of doubt and worry and she hardly noticed what her hostess was saying as Alice warmly ushered them in. She felt a panic attack coming on – different from the ones related to her trauma, but alarming nonetheless. She heard buzzing in her ears and the light seemed overly harsh to her suddenly sensitive eyes. She felt as if she wasn’t getting enough air into her lungs.
“Clark,” she sub-vocalized, her voice the barest thread of a whimper.
He responded by squeezing her hand again.
It grounded her.
I’m safe. It’s okay. I’m safe. I’m with him. I’m safe.
The mantra repeated itself timelessly in her head as she forced her lungs to grab the air it needed. The room seemed to stop spinning and the lights became bearable.
I can do this.
“Oh… look! They’re holding hands! How sweet!”
Lois looked over at the offending commenter, and smiled in relief. Lana Lang.
A huge self-conscious grin plastered itself firmly on her face and refused to be dislodged.
“Lana!” She let go of Clark’s hand and moved in to give her friend a warm hug and kiss on the cheek.
All eyes were cast their way. Clark greeted his former fiancé in a similarly affectionate manner, and Lois felt her skin tingle as she knew that they were now the laser focus of attention.
“It’s okay, Lois,” murmured Lana. “They can all think whatever they want. They won’t say anything to our faces.”
She nodded nervously. “So… uh… where’s your …”
Lana pulled a man close into her space. Blondish//Brownish hair, dark eyes, and an incredible smile, this man was a contender with Clark for a drop-dead gorgeous contest.
Lois smiled back, immune to his beauty thanks to her fiance - but appreciative none-the-less.
“Rick… this is Lois Lane, and Clark Kent.”
He had a firm hand shake, a warm clasp, and Lois could feel his goodness emanating from the brief contact.
Lana. You sure can pick them.
“Great to meet you, Rick.”
“Likewise. I’ve heard quite a bit about you both.”
“Oh. Well – don’t believe half of it,” said Lois.
Miraculously, the world did not end, nor did the ground beneath her open up to swallow her. They conversed. Life went on. The dizziness threatening her finally receded as she was able to regulate her breathing and get the oxygen that she needed.
She enjoyed herself. Rick and Lana were a fun couple to talk with, and she could well imagine that they would be friends going forward. Rick didn’t seem intimidated or awed by Clark nor did he seem resentful. It took a very strong sense of self not to feel threatened by a super-human former fiancé.
She realized she hadn’t been holding up her end of the conversation.
“So Rick – how did you and Lana meet?”
It was the right question to ask – the engaged couple grinned at each other, and then Rick expertly told the story with a few laughing corrections from his fiancée.
“Are you all set for your wedding,” Clark asked.
“Mostly – the things left to do are last minute and not that difficult.”
“Says you,” grumbled Lana “I had to do most of the work. Lois, whatever you do – don’t let Clark get away with that. I don’t know how I let you get away with that, Rick.”
“You complained at me whenever I got in the way.”
“I think you deliberately made me complain by suggesting things that were awful and gauche.”
“I would never deliberately do that,” he said, in mock offense. A gleam in his eyes told Lois the truth. She also recognized that this was an old familiar joke between the two of them.
“Lois warned me that her mom was going to take things over.”
“Oh. Yikes. I wish you all the luck,” winced Rick sympathetically. “So – have you two set a date?”
“Well – not for public consumption or anything,” said Lois quietly, “but we were thinking… oh… 2 days from now?”
“Two days… but… hey! You promised you’d be at my wedding!”
Lois grinned at Lana. “Sorry. I couldn’t resist it. Actually, we decided there’s not much point in waiting this out. We want to start our lives together… and … so – the sooner the better.”
“How soon?”
“In… uh… in a month… if we can swing it,” Lois stammered, flushing red, wondering if Rick and Lana were guessing at why they were in such a rush.
Rick saw her reaction and bit back any teasing retort. He didn’t know her very well, but he felt like he had known the both of them from the moment he met them – as if they had always been friends. He had been really worried – terrified – of meeting Clark – Superman – the man who not only was his fiancée’s former intended, but also this larger than life god. How could any man ever hope to compete with that? And what would Clark be like? From what he’d seen of Superman in television interviews, he seemed remote, awe-inspiring… not this relaxed and friendly man standing here, talking about things that were far too mundane for gods. Clark wasn’t threatening in the slightest, and Lois was far more than he had ever expected..
Where Lois was concerned, he hadn’t known what to expect. He had worried that he wouldn’t like her. He didn’t want to alienate people Lana liked, but at the same time, the woman had launched this hate campaign against Superman for no good reason, and then in the end, had gotten engaged to him. It made no sense. But being here, and seeing her, and remembering what he had read about her admission of having PTSD, he was able to step back and see her in a different light than he had originally painted her.
But her reaction to his simple question caught him off guard. She seemed like a teenage girl almost. Blushing and nervous and uncomfortable under the question. Teasing would only make it worse.
“Oh. Well – then it’s good your mom’s helping out,” he said carefully. “She’ll know what to do to make it happen, right?”
“I think so,” grinned Lois. “That is, if she doesn’t scream at me for rushing into it.”
“Wow,” said Lana, after being silent long moments after Lois’s revelation. “One month…”
Lois looked at her, pleading evident in her eyes.
“Clark, Rick – if you’ll excuse us… I want to have a moment of girl-talk with Lois.”
Barely hearing their responses, Lois allowed Lana to pull her unobtrusively away. Of course, it didn’t matter how unobtrusive Lana tried to be, people were still surreptitiously watching them.
“Lois – a month? Is this your idea – or his?”
Lois grinned in warm relief at her friend. Her champion, despite the fact that they should have been rivals.
“Lana, can you even imagine Clark ever pushing me into getting married before I was ready?’
“Are you ready?”
“I… I don’t know. I don’t… “ She looked down at Lana’s shoes a long moment and then returned to making eye contact. “I just don’t know.”
“Are you happy with this decision?”
“Yes.” Her voice and manner were emphatic. “You know… I hate being apart from him. I just want us to live in the same space. I want to see him when I wake up. I want to see him right before falling asleep. I want to be with him – to enjoy his company – to – I want to make love with him…. I want those things – the things that marriage can … legitimately give us – at least in the eyes of the world. No matter how I may feel about things… I know that – it’s important for Superman’s image to remain a certain way – and I don’t want to compromise that.”
Lana nodded. “I get that. I just… I just wanted you to tell me that this was something you were happy with.”
“Lana, you didn’t really think Clark was pushing me?”
“I thought Lois Lane was pushing you. She’s done it before. But I can see – just by talking to you, that you really… wow… you’ve really come so far.”
Lois flushed. “I didn’t… I – I actually… I did something kind of… crazy. And I kind of want to tell you about it…”
“What?”
“I sort of … pushed Clark – into – doing some kind of roll-your-own aversion therapy with me.”
“In what way?”
“I… I pressured him to… role-play – as Lord Kal.”
“Oh my god.”
“I asked him to wear black… I didn’t like the idea that his wearing black was such a trigger…”
“I get that. And that’s – that’s a good thing to do – to overcome that… and he does look really good in black,” she said with a smile.
“Oh, does he ever. He has this black robe that I’m’ dying to see him in – but.. uh… not on our wedding night… I think I need us to have crossed that particular threshold before doing anything that radical.”
“But radical is what you did … I mean – you said you asked him to role-play – did it go beyond wearing black?”
She flushed and looked down.
“Uh… Lois… just… just how far… did you take this?”
“Not… not as far as your worrying – I just… I asked him to try to… kind of… act like Lord Kal.”
“I can’t even imagine him being successful at that,” she said, her brow furrowed as she shook her head.
“He… he wasn’t. So… I kind of… forced an imagine of Kal into his mind… to give him inspiration. And… that kind of did the trick. He was able to recreate… Kal’s body language… my god… Lana.. . it was as if Kal were right there, standing in front of me… it was very disturbing.”
“Lois – I…. I don’t know what to say – I mean - I know you want to purge the bad feelings, but you really put your relationship with him at risk. Do you realize that you could have put an immovable obstacle between you both? You could have pushed yourself further into trauma – by seeing Clark as Kal – you could have lost the ability to see him as Clark.”
“I know,” she said softly. “I know. I am lucky – it didn’t get that far. I… I tried to take his… hand and put it on my throat – the way Kal would grip my throat when he wanted to really drive home the point that he could kill me at any time – and Clark reacted badly. He was very upset. Very agitated. Very Clark. I could have lost him that way too – by pushing him into doing this thing that he really didn’t want to do. By not caring about what he wanted. And… I’m lucky – because we moved past that.”
“He loves you,” she said gently. “There isn’t much he wouldn’t do for you. And that includes giving you a wide latitude when it comes to hurting him.”
“Well, I don’t want to hurt him. I really don’t. I love him – and… and I’ve promised him and myself that I’ll consider all the angles before ever doing something like that again.”
“You aren’t a villain in this piece, Lois. Your idea had some amount of merit. If he hadn’t been physically identical with your … tormentor… then this might have been a meritorious idea – but because he is… the danger is too great.”
She nodded. “I never want to see him looking like Lord Kal again.”
Lana smiled. “I don’t think you have to worry about him willingly doing that again.”
“Oh. Yuck. Ralph is talking to the men. “
“Let’s go rescue them.”
They came back. Ralph saw them both, and made his excuses.
“Is he for real,” asked Rick. “Does he really mean what he says?”
“Sadly… yes.”
“What did he say?”
“Uh… you don’t want to know,” said Rick uncomfortably.
“Clark? Ice water, or other chicks?”
Rick looked at Lois in shock. “Do you have super hearing too?” It was his first allusion to the fact that Clark was Superman.
“Lois made a bet with me that Ralph would make one of two comments… and Lois… I’m sorry to say that you won the bet.”
“Which comment did he make?”
“He was two for two.”
Lois burst out laughing at that. Clark seemed to be amused as well. Rick was the only one who didn’t laugh.
“The guy’s an absolute jerk. I mean – the way he talked about her – “ He looked over at Clark, amazed that the man wasn’t angry. Amazed but also relieved.
“Lois is a big girl,” said Lana casually. “She can take care of herself. What would you do if someone said something nasty about me, Rick?”
“You mean, what do I do when someone says something nasty about you…”?
“Hey!”
“And you’re right. I’d… I’d be mad… but you aren’t a child – you can take care of that stuff on your own.”
“So I take it you didn’t offer to beat him up for me, Clark?”
“I just told him that he was crazy if he thought any of that. But if you want to beat him up, I won’t intervene…”
“So, I won the bet…?”
“What was your wager,” Rick asked innocently.
Lois looked over at Clark, and then she flushed red again. “Uh… nothing really.”
“Oh, you poor guy,” said Rick with gentle sarcasm, looking over at Lois. “I hope you face up to your loss like a man.”
“Or a Superman,” giggled Lana.
“Lana,” said Clark. “Keep that up, and I’ll start telling Rick here stories of what you were like as a teenager.”
“Okay, Okay,” she said, lifting her hands up in mock surrender.
“All right you guys, enough of the guest-of-honor monopolizing,” said Cat, coming into their conversation. “Others want a chance.”
[tbc]
