The following morning Lois and the twins flew back to Smallville. Lois had enjoyed her weekend with Clark, she hated the thought of leaving him, and he looked so lonely at the airport. There had been plenty of times when she could have thrown caution to the wind and gone back to him permanently but her mind was telling her not to. He wasn’t ready to come back to her just yet, she knew that, but at the same time she couldn’t help but wonder that if she left it long enough he would ever come back?” How much time did he need?
Looking over at her children her heavy heart fluttered. At least she still had a part of him in them. Both of the twins had his innate goodness, they were really starting to develop their own little personalities. Lois had told them to write a letter to Clark thanking him for the weekend. At least it would keep them occupied on the plane until they reached Smallville.
The last few passengers filtered on to the plane. A man sat down in aisle seat next to Lois. He looked familiar but Lois couldn’t really see as he had dark sunglasses on and a hat. He gave her a funny sideways glance, she shifted uneasily in her seat.
“We’ll have to stop meeting like this,” he said.
“I’m sorry?”
The man removed his glasses to reveal a pair of beautiful blue eyes that she recognised immediately. “Oh. Paul! What are you doing here?”
He laughed and put his sunglasses back on. “Going to Smallville to catch up with some old buddies and to get away from all the hype in Metropolis.”
“Why the disguise?”
“I was meant to be in first class but they double booked, so here I am. I told them I didn’t mind. I can see it was worth it now.” He winked.
“You think you’re so charming don’t you?” teased Lois.
He smiled that gorgeous smile that she had loved so much. “So, what happened with you and Clark. Have you split up?”
“No, no on the contrary. We had a lovely weekend with him but the kids have school tomorrow and I have work; otherwise I would have liked to have stayed longer.”
“Oh right.”
“Don’t give me that look, Paul. I don’t want to talk about Clark with you. It doesn’t feel right. Don’t get me wrong, I really appreciate your concern and you were great the other day but please don’t persist with this.”
“OK, OK, I can’t help it, Lo. I care about you.”
Lois dared not look over at him. Every time she looked at him she could see love in his eyes. If she was honest with herself, she was still very fond of him. She often thought about the amazing kiss that he had given her in the staff room before he left. It wasn’t the first time she had wondered what it would have been like to be his lover. They were thoughts she had pushed to the back of her mind since Clark had come back. She loved Clark with all her heart but when in the presence of Paul Aston she couldn’t help but feel the way she did, she couldn’t explain it. Paul scarcely said another word to her for the remainder of the flight.
Clark opened the door to his empty apartment. He’d been flying around most of the day. It was like all the life had gone and now there was just him and his thoughts again. He picked up a teddy bear that was on the floor and sat on the couch. Out of the corner of his eye he could see the red message light flashing on his telephone. Leaning over, he pressed the play button to listen to the messages.
<You have two messages……first message>
<Hi Clark. Just wanted to let you know that we’re back and to thank you for a great weekend. Take care.>
<Second message>
<Clark. It’s Natasha. I’ve been to reach you all day. We have an assignment to do and I need your input. I’ll be round at seven.>
He wasn’t ecstatic at the prospect of spending the evening with his new partner. There was only one partner that he wanted to work with and that was Lois. He was used to working in a certain way and wasn’t sure if he had the time to baby-sit a new reporter. Nevertheless, he promised the chief that he’d try his best and if didn’t work he’d figure something else out. He looked at his watched. Natasha would be over in half an hour. At super speed he tidied the apartment, had a shower and changed clothes. He had about enough time to give Lois a quick ring.
The phone rang several times before she answered. “Lois Lane.”
“Hi, it’s me.”
“Clark, did you get my message?”
“Yeah, I haven’t long been back, stuff to do and all. So, you’re flight was okay?”
“It was fine.” (“Hey Lo, shall I cook a pizza or something?”)
“Who’s with you Lois?”
“Paul. He was on our flight to Smallville. He gave us a lift back so I invited him for dinner.”
There was a long silence before Clark spoke again. “Oh I see. Well. I better get going myself. Natasha’s coming over to discuss the story.”
There was another long silence before Lois spoke. “Oh OK. Thanks for ringing. I’ll be in touch within the next few days.”
“Sure. Take Care.”
“Bye, Clark,” Lois whispered then put down the phone.
Clark hung up. He was just about to throw the phone at the wall when there was a knock at the door. Calming himself down, he ran up the steps and let Natasha in.
“Are you okay, Clark?”
“Oh yeah, it’s nothing. Just caught me at a bad time. Can I get you a coffee or something?”
“Sure. Black and no sugar.” As Clark was banging about in the kitchen, Natasha was walking around his apartment, taking it all in. “So, has Mrs. Kent gone then?”
At first Clark was confused but then he realised who she was referring to. “Oh you mean Lois. She and the kids left this morning.”
Natasha wanted to dig some more into Clark’s private life but decided better of it when she saw Clark’s face. Over the weekend she had uncovered some interesting facts about Lex Luthor, Lois Lane, Clark Kent and Superman. She was surprised to find out that Lois and Lex were nearly married just over seven years ago. What intrigued her greatly though, was the fact that all their lives were so closely entwined. Lois Lane seemed to have the cities most prominent men at her feet.
Clark settled down in the chair opposite Natasha. “Have you found out anything about Luthor?”
“It depends. I’ve been doing a lot of research on him over the last few days. He doesn’t like you much does he?”
“The feeling’s mutual. He’s a menace to society. Always has been and always will be.”
“You don’t think he could have changed then?”
Clark laughed with sarcasm. “Impossible.”
“He seems to be impressing people with his reformed character.”
Clark smiled. “Natasha, You’ve got a lot to learn. I’ll look over you’re notes tonight and I’ll see you in the office first thing tomorrow morning. I’ve got some things I need to do now.”
“What was the point in me coming over?! I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
Clark watched her walk out the door. Natasha reminded him of Mayson. A dauntless woman who knew what she wanted. She was also very attractive. His thoughts wondered back to Lois. He wasn’t really shocked to discover that Paul was with Lois. He’d got the impression the few times he had met him that he wasn’t one to give up easily. Paul had been there for Lois at the most significant times in her life, the times when he should have been there; there was bound to be a bond between them. He yearned for his life to be with Lois and the children, he just wanted some normality and resolve.
*********************************************************************
Meanwhile back in Smallville, Lois was standing at the sink nonchalantly, washing the dishes. She hadn’t been able to focus on anything since Clark had come back. There was a constant whirlwind swirling in her head. Paul was in the next room, entertaining the children. She’d been aware of the change in Clark’s voice when he heard Paul in the background and she had felt guilty, until he mentioned that Natasha was coming over. Suddenly she was startled by a knock at the kitchen window. It was Clark. Lois ran over to the back door, quietly opened it. Clark grabbed her and pulled her into the barn next door.
“What do you think you’re doing, Clark?!”
His face was firm and his body language was on the defensive. “What kind of game are you playing, Lois? You say you no longer care for him but he’s always there, sniffing around like a dog with a bone. Damn it, Lois, if it’s him you want why can’t you just be honest with me!” Clark grabbed hold of her shoulders and pushed her as he let go.
Never in her life had she seen this side to Clark. She could hardly swallow for the look he had in his eyes. Her arms stung where his hands had been gripping her. Taking two steps back she found the wall and steadied herself against it. He moved in on her and closed the gap between them.
“Lois Lane lost for words, there’s a first.”
She turned her head to the left to avoid his gaze but he gently pulled her back to face him. “Don’t turn away from me, Lois. I want to see you.”
“Why are you doing this, Clark? Please, if you want to talk then we’ll talk but please don’t do this.”
Clark was confused. “Do what, what do you think I’m going to do!!” he shouted. Lois turned to look at him and what he saw in her eyes for pure fear.
Lois protected her body with her arms and sat on a nearby bail of hay.
“You thought I was going to …..my God, you really thought that I’d hurt you?” Clark stood rooted the spot, watching Lois. She was in complete shock and started to shake.
They hadn’t noticed Paul creep up behind them. He’d heard some shouting and had come outside to see what it was. Seeing Lois in the state she was in, he immediately ran over and pulled her into his arms.
“What the hell have you done to her, Clark?! If you’ve hurt her, I swear I’ll kill you!”
In silence, he turned around and walked away.
Martha was watering the plants in the yard when she saw Clark, walking up the drive. As soon as she saw him she knew something was wrong. She shouted for Jonathan but he didn’t answer. Dropping everything, Martha ran towards her son.
“Clark? What is it?”
He couldn’t look at his mother, he was so ashamed. “I was so jealous, mom. I didn’t mean to, I didn’t mean to mom.”
Martha tried to look at her soon but he kept avoiding her gaze and repeating himself. “Didn’t mean to do what? What have you done, Clark? Talk to me please!!” she shouted. She escorted him into the farmhouse and sat him down at the kitchen table.
“Here drink this and in your own time tell me what’s wrong.”
Clark slowly lifted the glass of buttermilk to his lips. He took a small sip and put it down again. “I called Lois to see if they had a safe journey. While we were on the phone I heard him in the background talking.”
“Who, honey?”
“Paul. I was so furious. There’s still something between them I’m sure of it. I cut short a meeting with Natasha and flew straight to Smallville to confront her. I grabbed Lois and shouted at her, I wanted to hurt her, I wanted her to feel the pain that I’ve been feeling.”
Martha lifted her hand to her mouth. “Oh, Clark, what did you do?”
“My behaviour was formidable. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that look upon her face as long as I live. She was scared…of me. Mom, she thought I was going to harm her.”
“Well, were you?”
Clark shot a look at Martha. “No! Mentally maybe, but never physically.”
“Oh, Clark, what ever possessed you. That’s not like you at all. Is she okay?”
“She’s with Paul. He said if she was hurt that he’d kill me. Some husband huh? You have to believe me, mom, I’d never do anything to intentionally hurt my own wife. I’ve got so much anger inside of me. Most of the time I can contain it but this was the last straw. The one thing I want I can’t seem to get a grip of. Now I’ve probably ruined every chance I ever had of being with Lois again in one foolish action.”
Martha took hold of her son’s hands and held them tight. She could see his torment and it broke her heart. “Honey, I knew there was something wrong but I didn’t want to pressure you to tell us. I can remember a time when you used to talk everything through with us. What’s changed?”
Lifting his head he managed to look into the loving eyes of his mother. “Me. I’ve changed. I question everything and everyone and I’m severely critical of myself. I want to be that man I used to be. The one people looked up to, relied on. The Clark Kent who found the good in everybody, believed anything was possible. I can’t be him ever again, mom . They took it all away from me on Krypton and now I’m lost.”
“He may be lost now but not forever. I won’t accept that Clark and nor will the people who love you. We’ll work through this together as family and you’ll find yourself again. I will not stand by and let you destroy your life. Are you listening to me Clark?”
“I love you, mom.” He pushed back the chair, stood up and gave Martha a kiss on the forehead.
“Where are you going?”
“I have to talk to Lois. Don’t try and stop me. I have to see her.”
“I understand, sweetie.”
Back at the barn Paul was comforting Lois. After Clark had left she’d collapsed. Paul carried her inside and laid her on the couch. He attempted to rouse her several times. After a few minutes she started to come round. He gently encouraged her to sit up and take a sip of water.
“Clark, where is he?”
“Don’t you remember he walked away?”
She sighed a deep breath. “Thank you for staying, Paul. I’m sorry you had to witness that.”
“I’m glad I stuck around. Who knows what he would have done. Stay there and sit quietly for a while. I’ll check on the kids and tidy up the play room. No pressure.”
“Thanks, Paul.”
As Paul was coming down the stairs, he heard a knock at the door. He was surprised to see that it was Clark. “You’ve got some front, showing up here after what you did.”
“I need to see Lois. Just let me in. I promise I won’t cause any trouble.”
Lois had heard the knock at the door but wasn’t sure if Paul had answered it. When she saw Clark, she froze.
Paul turned around to see Lois standing in the doorway. “I’m sorry, Lois. He’s insisting to see you. What do you want me to do?”
Lois knew only too well that Paul wouldn’t stand a chance against Clark if things got out of hand. “Show him in.”
“I’ll leave you alone for now but if you need me just call. I’ll be in the kitchen.”
Lois nodded. Clark cautiously made his way in. “Take a seat.”
He sat down and tried to get her to look at him but she sat there with a glazed expression on her face, twiddling nervously with her rings. “Are you all right, Lois?”
“I collapsed after you left.”
Clark attempted to get up but Lois stopped him.
“No, stay where you are.”
“I’m sorry you had to see me like that. They say you take it out on the people you love.”
Lois huffed. “Love! Is that what you’d call that outburst. I didn’t see a remote sign of love in your face. Clark, do you know how scared I was? You’re a powerful man, I had no idea what you were going do.”
He hung his head in disgrace. “I’ve tried so hard to get back to normality but these feelings I have - I just can’t shake them off. I get such a vehement wave of jealousy and anger because I have to share you with another man. It’s killing me, Lois, killing my very soul. Do you understand?”
Lois let down her guard a little as he poured his heart out. “I had no idea how strong your feelings were. You’ve kept them pretty much hidden from me over the last months.”
“I know and it’s been pushing you away. I can’t remember how to be Clark Kent, do you know how frustrating that is? I’m at the bottom of a hole and I can’t find a way out. The last thing I want is for you to hate me. I need you.”
Lois plucked up the courage to move next to Clark. “Listen, lashing out at people isn’t going to get you anywhere, nor is being jealous. I’ll be as honest as I can with you if we’re getting everything out in the open. Firstly, I do have feelings for Paul. I can’t just turn them off because one day you suddenly appeared again. He’s been a good a friend me to and the children and I do love him but you are the one who has my heart, Clark. You’re making it so hard for me to love you right now but I do love you. For better or for worse.”
“It seems like we only ever have the worse, doesn’t it?”
“Maybe you should see someone, Clark, like a counsellor or something. I can give you a number if you like. It may help talking to an outsider. This problem you have definitely needs addressing.”
Clark turned to his wife. “I guess it can’t hurt.” He went to touch her but she jumped back. “Lois, you know I’d never hurt you, don’t you?”
Lois felt awful. The look on his face when she moved away was of helplessness. “At the moment you’re very unpredictable. You’re just so different. Before I can understand what you’ve been through, you have to make yourself come to terms with what you’ve been going through. If you don’t you’ll be fighting forever.”
“I’m impatient. I want everything to be as it was before I went to New Krypton. I feel like I’ve wasted so much time already. It’s getting used to being involved with people on a personal level again. I spent so long on my own I think it made me a little selfish. Lois, if you want to end our marriage I will understand. Sometimes you just have to admit defeat.”
“Let’s not do anything too hasty. I’m not giving up that easily. I’ll get that number for you and we’ll go from there. It’s Dr Friskin actually, she’s still based in Metropolis. If it wasn’t for her I would probably still be denying my feelings for you.”
.
“I’ve had a few sessions with her before. I owe her a lot then, if she helped you see the light,” he laughed. I should be going. I’ve done enough damage for one day. I’ll be in touch when the time’s right. I’m truly sorry for what happened earlier. It won’t happen again.”
“Hey, you just take good care of yourself. I’ll be thinking of you.” Lois walked over to Clark and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He responded with a smile and gently touched her on the arm, this time she didn’t pull away.
A few seconds later there was a boom and he was gone.
cont....
