Wedding planning was driving Lois nuts. Truth be told - her mother was driving her nuts.
To make matters worse, Clark had been really busy with rescue duty and she hadn't been seeing much of him. In the absence of his presence her doubts and worries about the upcoming big event were taking control of her mind, resulting in restless sleep and an ongoing case of wedding-jitters.
She needed to talk to him – to look at him, and be with him. She needed to remember that he was who he was, and she needed to feel once again that glorious "rightness' of being with him. She picked up the phone and dialed his home. When his answering machine picked up she switched off impatiently and quickly dialed his cell phone number.
His voice mail picked up.
She growled in frustration and then left him a message. "Clark... where the heck are you? I really need to see you!"
She hung up the phone and then decided she would vent some of her frustration by taking a shower. Lavender bath salts... here I come.
30 minutes later, she emerged from the shower, and put on a short cotton nightdress. She was happier and more relaxed, the lavender had worked it's usual magic. She exited the bathroom, walking at a fast clip and then collided right into someone. Immediately, adrenaline surged through her system, panic flaring even as she heard Clark's familiar tones and felt his gentle grip on her arms steadying her.
"Sorry," he was saying. "I ... didn't mean to - " his voice trailed off as he became suddenly very aware of her insanely enticing scent. What did she just put on in there? It's incredible. So smooth – and - is it Lavender?
"Scare the heck out of me,” she gasped out trying to regain her ground. She was still breathing hard, trying to get her panic under control.
No. No - no panic attack. Please. No panic attack.
Her heightened sense of danger from first mistaking him for an intruder merged with a panic-based response to the current situation. Flotsam from her troubled past floated to the surface. The current situation of being so insignificantly dressed in contrast with his Superman garb was making it hard for her to settle her nerves.
She forced herself to look up at him. There simply was no way was she going to tell him about her current distress.
Clark was still oblivious to anything but the sexual haze she was unconsciously weaving around him.
"Uh... yeah," he said in response to her question. "Sorry. I got home, got your message - and couldn't reach you so I figured I'd just fly over. I... Lois - what is this on your skin?"
He didn't notice that she was still laboring to get herself under control, assuming that any of her current agitation was left-over from being caught off guard.
Instead, he was very aware that his hands were holding impossibly soft and smooth shoulders that glistened with an incredibly wonderfully smelling concoction. Her skin gleamed, and felt smoother than was even possible. He was transfixed and distracted.
"I... what?"
"This," he said huskily, rubbing one hand gently up and down her arm. "It's amazing. It ... you... it's like... what is it? Lavender?"
A harsh memory intruded into her brain. The first time she had been forced to endure Lord Kal, she had been forcibly 'prepared' by his attendants for the encounter. She had been made to suffer quite a few indignities, one of them being compelled to wear a garment that proclaimed loud and clear what her purpose in life was to be. Furthermore, they had used a wide variety of scented body oils to ensure she was pleasing.
Clark's reaction to her skin was ringing all kinds of uncomfortable and familiar bells. Lord Kal had also expressed his approval of the way she had been "readied' by running a deceptively gentle hand up and down her arm.
Fear gripped her hard, and she became very quiet and still as she focused on breaking free of the miserable spell the past had cast upon her. No… no – not now. The wedding is two weeks away – if I still act like this – how will we ever –
"Lois?"
His gentle voice intruded on her dark reminisces but didn't quite dispel them.
"I... I... "
Her fear suddenly became evident to him. Immediately he released her and backed away a few steps.
"I'm sorry. I really scared you, didn't I? Coming in like this, and you didn't know I was here... and then... I triggered something, didn't I?" Clark was at a loss about what to do, but he kept talking in hopes of reminding her who he was.
She looked up at him. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "Yeah. That's kind of what ... happened. It's - obviously - not your fault... it's just... " She shook her head, squeezing her eyes tight.
"Do you want me to leave?"
"No!"
"Okay... how about I change?"
"That… might... help..."
As soon as she gave approval to that plan, he did a quick change, and then he stayed where he was, not wanting to encroach on her.
"I'm okay, Clark... I... I just need - all that ... tension... has to leave me... it takes a few moments."
"No problem," he said quietly.
"I... I.... lavender... how did you know?" Lois grasped onto this seeming triviality in a desperate bid to gain control of her nerves.
"I - grew up in the hicks, remember? Wild lavender... grew everywhere."
"Oh. Yeah. Farm boy. How could I forget!"
Farm boy is way better than cruel dictator. I'll take that any day.
"Sorry..." he said again... redundantly and feeling foolish.
"No. I... it is lavender. Lavender bath salts. I... love them. They make me feel really happy and ... pampered, I guess."
He grinned. "You deserve that."
She smiled. Tension had eased from her, and she felt nearly normal. "You like?"
"Well... uh... "
"It's really okay to say yes. I'm better now."
"Then... yeah. I do."
She smiled. But the smile didn't reach her eyes in exactly the right way.
"What is it?"
"What?"
"You're still... it's still not right. What's wrong?"
"God, Clark -do you have to be so observant."
"Lois. I can't help that. You're pretty observant yourself. I guess - if you want me to pretend I don't feel like something's wrong, I could oblige, but... I do feel like something's wrong, and - if you do want to talk about it. I'm here."
She looked at him solemnly a few long minutes.
"Okay. Okay." Her voice was quiet and resolute. "I'll talk about it. Want some coffee? Or wine? For this… I'd suggest wine. "
"Wine is great, Lois. Want me to get it?"
"Sure," she assented. She knew he wanted to do it, to be helpful.
He went to the wine bar and took a few moments to choose the wine. Her reaction to him had unsettled him deeply, and he was feeling very nervous about the upcoming conversation. He felt ashamed of his reticence, knowing full well that he had to be there for her at all costs.
He grabbed his selection, along with the wine glasses and the corkscrew – and then he headed for the living room.
Lois was sitting on her big couch waiting for him to join her. She was still dressed in her short night dress- and even though it wasn't excessively seductive in intent, she presented an amazing picture in sensuality. Her skin still shone and the scent of lavender wafted from her skin enticingly – mixing in with her own unique scent.
Focus, Clark. Don't even go there. Not now.
His libido studiously ignored him, and it was with a great force of will that he dropped down in a different chair and kept his demeanor as non-threatening as possible.
Nope. No overly turned-on Kryptonian here. Just one very harmless guy.
“I don't bite,” she said in a soft voice. “Please sit next to me. I need… you… your love- your support.”
“Ok,” he said carefully as he got up and moved in next to her. Unlike the last time this tableau had played out, he sat close next to her. She reached over and held his hand gratefully.
“Thanks,” she said.
“I love being with you like this.”
“Going to pour me a glass?”
Glad to have the distraction, he quickly and easily liberated the cork from the bottle and poured the wine.
She took her glass and then settled into the couch, bringing her legs up next to her as if huddling in for safety and warmth.
“Are you cold,” he asked worriedly.
“No,” she said. “I'm fine. Just…nervous.”
He waited in silence.
“I… I guess I wanted to talk about some of it – I know I have done in the past… let stuff out… and… it's scary – letting go of it – letting it out, letting it pass through me. It's like a poison, and I'm afraid it'll leave toxin in me if I … release it.”
“I don't want you to feel like you have to talk about it – not if you don't want to. “
“I don't – in fact…” She looked at him with a quick knowing smile. “I know that you – you're probably pretty worried yourself. And… I'm sorry,” she said softly. “For giving you my poison.”
He shook his head. “It's what we do for each other. Right?”
“Yeah…”
“Then there's no need for you to feel badly about it.”
“Okay,” she said. “I won't.”
She paused a long time, and then took a few sips of her wine. Unfolding a bit, she settled in against him, and he wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulder. Her vulnerability and trust made it easy for him to gain control of his desire for her at this moment.
“Lord Kal liked his slaves to be well adorned… well… not so much with clothing… what we wore wasn't much – but it was… sexy. Intended to… attract. But – when one of us were summoned to him – we were… made up… I guess… and… he really liked that. That thing you did – with your hand on my arm – it was almost exactly like what he did – on more than one occasion…”
“Oh my god,” he groaned. “I'm sorry!”
“Clark. Please. It's not like you would know! I mean – how would you know? It's not rational to expect that of you… but… it freaked me out…”
“Understandably!”
“Still okay?”
“To hell with me – how are you feeling?”
“I'm scared, Clark,” she confessed quietly. “Two weeks… just two weeks… at the time – I seemed so sure of … everything. But… he's been in my dreams… nightmares… a lot.”
He gently tightened his arm around her for reassurance.
“We can put this off,” he said. “No harm in that.”
She gripped his hands and met his gaze directly.
“I don't want to do that.”
“Okay. Just letting you know it was an option – one that I wouldn't be devastated about. I mean – yeah, I want this marriage to happen – but not if it's upsetting you.”
She dropped her gaze. “I just… I really wanted it to be – perfect- and now I'm not so sure about – whether or not I'll be able to… and… I guess… I just wanted to say that – to say it out loud to you – to… know if that was still okay? If… when all is said and done… I can't… cross that particular… bridge… just yet?”
He was silent a long moment, and she felt her heart squeeze in apprehension. What if he wants to call it off? He took her hands in his, and turned slightly to face her directly, wanting her full attention.
“Lois. I promise that It's okay. Are you worried I'll want to back out – or are you worried I might,” he paused, wincing, “… use physical force?”
“No. Neither, really,” she hastily assured him. “Well… at least when I'm awake,” she confessed, her voice suddenly small. “My dreams sometimes have a different… scenario.”
“Are you still having nightmares about us?” He failed to keep the dismay from his voice.
She flushed in embarrassment.
“I… I did tell you it might happen. I can't control my dreams,” she said sadly. “I'm sorry. I'm – I know you aren't that kind of a man. I just – I guess it's my own … sense of impatience – which manifests itself as you in my dreams. That's kind of what Lana said about that dream I had a while back.”
“I know,” he said. “I just hate the idea of you waking up after something like that and having to shake it off.”
“Do you think we should wait? I mean – given that I'm such a mess.”
“Only if you want to.”
“I absolutely don't want to wait.”
“Then we won't.”
“There is one thing,” she said uncomfortably. “Those nightmares that I have… I could react badly to you – if you were there when I woke up – “
“Hey, listen – if you need your sleeping space –“
“No, I liked sleeping with you – I really did – I just wanted to make sure you knew what you were getting into – I mean – in 20 years, I could have some awful dream and – react badly – so I just need to tell you so that you … know it's a possibility.”
He nodded carefully. “Okay. Consider me fore-warned. I won't let you down Lois – I'll be able to handle it.”
“Oh Clark,” she said – suddenly squeezing his hand in a wash of guilt. “I didn't mean to make you feel like it was a question of letting me down – if you have trouble dealing with it if it happens, you won't be letting me down – just don't leave me on account of it – promise me no matter what – we'll talk, and we'll work things through.”
“That, I can promise without any reservations, Lois. I will never walk away from us.”
“Good. Me either.”
“Glad we got that straightened out,” he grinned at her.
“Yeah,” she said, subsiding against him, relaxing into his warmth. Tingling sensations started pervading her limbs as she imagined them doing more than just cuddling.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure!”
“Why did you call? Not that you have to have a reason, but you seemed kind of upset.”
“Oh. God. Yes. That. My mother. It's not her fault, but all this wedding planning is driving me insane. And it's a small wedding – not much really to do – and – we can't agree on the dress at all – and – well – I just needed you… to be with you – to just – you know – unwind.”
“I'm sorry – is there anything I can do? Can I help with – I don't know – anything?”
“Hey – for someone who has super-powers and super-hearing… you didn't do a very good job of hearing what I just said,” she teased gently.
“What do you mean?”
“I said I wanted to be with you – to unwind… you know… unwind?” Her voice dropped a little indicating her shift into sultry. Her eyes gleamed with open invitation. “How do you propose you help me unwind?”
He grinned back at her, drawing her close. “I think I have a few ideas,” he murmured as he leaned in to kiss her.
[tbc]
