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Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
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Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
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Well, you pretty much already know what I think of this part. My heart is broken, having been ripped out, chewed up and stomped on. *sigh* I really am not in the condition to even be up right now, what with the weak heart and all. But, alas, if the muse needs feedback to deliver the rest, then so be it. And since I'm rare form today... must be Tuesday... you get "reflective babbling" feedback as opposed to the usual "comment as I go" feedback. Enjoy, oh thou who art so evil! There was so much he’d miss about working with Lois. Her acute intellect. Her sharp wit. Her sudden flashes of inspiration. The way she could piece together seemingly-disparate clues and come up with a solution out of nowhere. Her habit of reaching and arriving at bizarre conclusions, some of which actually happened to be dead right. This section of introspection is just heartbreaking! And that wording... "dead right"...  Sara (who's hoping the muse is now sufficiently appeased and didn't take any offense to the above remarks  )
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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 ~Liz
Lois: Can I go?
Clark: No.
Lois: Oh come on, Clark, why do we go through this? We both know I’m going to go.
Clark: Then why do you ask?
Lois: I’m trying to be nice.
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Beat Reporter
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OK, I gave in and read a fic that isn't complete yet. And now I'm trying to decide if I should have. On one hand, this is SO good! On the other, now I want to read more and am sad that there isn't more yet . . .
TOGOM rewrites are a personal favorite of mine, and the intensity with which you convey their emotions leaves me breathless half the time. And L&C ghost stories are interesting. (Right now I'm trying to remember what the name was of the other ghost story I read, set in an alt-world where Clark meets Lois as a ghost, or so he thinks, and eventually finds out she's alive, in a coma, and doing OOB stuff.) I can hardly wait to see more of this!
Don't point. You make holes in the air and the faeries escape.
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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Oy. Wendy, you have a talent for leaving the reader on a precipice, ready to fall into the despair of the characters. I love the twist of Lois interacting with objects... and it looks like she's wondering about the tied-to-Clark thing. Now to see if she tests it at all. 
"You need me. You wouldn't be much of a hero without a villain. And you do love being the hero, don't you. The cheering children, the swooning women, you love it so much, it's made you my most reliable accomplice." -- Lex Luthor to Superman, Question Authority, Justice League Unlimited
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Top Banana
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If she had to move heaven and Earth, perhaps come back to haunt Perry and explain the story after they'd killed her, she would do it.
Waking a Miracle by Aria
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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I see dead people! Wait isn't that form another movie?<g> Ok, I was thinking that it was going to be frustrating waiting chapters and chapters just for Lois to brush his cheek or something.<g> However, you totally blew me away with the lipstick on the mirror! KEWL!I was pleasantly surprised at how fast you had her communicate with him. So, now he knows she is there and he knows she knows! And how the heck is he going to react to all of this!Freeky!  He has to get her back somehow!  Well you have me hooked. I need to know what will happen next. So...what are you waiting for? Where is the next part already!?<g>  Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
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Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
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Doranwen, I believe the story you are talking about is Pam Jernigan's wonderful Tryst . Now back to Wendy's regularly scheduled feedback... Sara 
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Wow, it's like "Ghost!"  OMG she made contact with him! Well that's a start in the right direction anyway. Still this is just slow torture Wendy ... but I love it!  I can't help it, I still want you to fix it!!!
"A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles." Chris Reeve
"Whatever comes our way, whatever battle we have raging inside us, we always have a choice. It's the choices that make us who we are, and we can always choose to do what's right." Peter Parker
DON'T DOUBT THE ROUTH
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Good God, Wendy! I think I'm going bald. I was so ready for Hamilton to resurrect Lois. But no. It can't be that easy. Evil is thy middle name! The ghost talks! It's going to be so painful; I'm prepping for it. Assuming they work out the bombshells like CK = S, Lois = Ghost, and Clark loves her...they still can't be together, unless you figure out a way to fix it. Unless Hamilton eventually rebuilt his entire lab...but that's the only think I could think of for now. Jen 
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
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Top Banana
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The process was fiddly at first. Ghost-fingers, for some reason, weren’t as flexible or as dexterous as her human ones had been. But after a few seconds the cap was off and she was ready. The mirror was the perfect palate.
She hadn’t even thought about what she’d write, but the words just came to her.
CLARK KENT, YOU ARE SO DEAD. Wendy, you are nuts. Do you even imagine what he was thinking, sitting there and suddenly getting horrible messages appear on his mirror out of nowhere? I know I'd have died right there, superpowers or no. Anyway, great part [in it's evilness], and glad L&C are communicating. Sort of. <g> Fantastic job! Julie 
Mulder: Imagine if you could come back and take out five people who had caused you to suffer. Who would they be?
Scully: I only get five?
Mulder: I remembered your birthday this year, didn't I, Scully?
(The X-Files)
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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What a rollercoaster ride! You give us and Clark hope and then dash it cruelly. And then the next twist: Lois can touch objects and starts communicating... (Like the others, I congratulate you on Lois' first choice of words!). And, yes, it's just purely evil to leave us like that. Get back here and continue posting, please!!!! -Sira
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Yes, that was all just so Lois. If she'd first written "I love you" or even "Clark, it's me" or similar, the story would have seemed somewhat artificial. Instead, she responds to him as she always has-- "Clark Kent, you are SO dead" -- exactly as she would have if she were alive and he'd ticked her off.
And poor Clark doesn't immediately realize that it's Lois, even after the apology that follows the first message. Like Lois's initial disbelief in her present circumstances, he doesn't immediately think of ghosts.
You've effectively knocked out the obvious solution to this dilemma by having the Prof. distroy all his equipment and notes. And by following that scene with Clark's realization that a clone would always be just that, a copy of the original Lois, you've addressed one of the things that always bothered me a bit about the original TOGOM-- that Lois so easily accepted a clone of Clark.
So... like all the people who commented on your Lois & Clark/Samson challenge to Tank, IS there a way to fix this?
I like how the ghost thing is progressing without any seeming volition on Lois's part. With following Clark as Superman when he first flew off, she wished she could go too, then realized she was following him. With the shoe/lipstick, it was entirely accidental, wasn't it? Unless you take into consideration her strong emotion and the feeling that she wants to do something but can't do "one damn thing" about it.
Well, oh Queen of Angst and Cliffhangers, I am anxiously waiting for more. This isn't another Wendy/Tank challenge, is it?
~Toc
TicAndToc :o)
------
"I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three."
-Elayne Boosler
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OMG Wendy!! Loving this so far...and I gotta hit on lines already mentioned but... Angry, frustrated, devastated, he closed his eyes. His shoulders slumped. It had been a crazy idea, anyway. The idea of a desperate man. Did he really want a clone Lois? Was he so unable to come to terms with the fact that she was dead that he’d be willing to interfere with nature to that degree? YES!!!YES YOU SHOULD BE WILLING, CLARK!!! good job. TEEEEEEJ
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Columnist
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Now I am dead too this is so sadddddddddddddddddddd!!!! But now Clark will know that Lois is with him...somehow I can´t wait to read the next part. karla
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Oh Sweet Divine Mother Of All That Is Pure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and  ]
Death: Easy, Bill. You'll give yourself a heart attack and ruin my vacation.
Meet Joe Black
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Freelance Reporter
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OHMIGOD, Wendy!!! I'm LOVING this!! I'm absolutely riveted and why aren't there any more parts yet?? Muse, we're WAITING!  What an ingenious twist on your favorite episode - I didn't think it was possible for you to out-do yourself on versions of That Old Gang of Mine, but you did - this is amazing. So now that I'm completely and totally hooked, when do we get to devour Part 4?? MORE please!! Vicki (and happy belated birthday too, Wendy!)
The world is made up of three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who can't.
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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Well, this is moving along quite well.
If I have the time frame correct, we are still in the evening of the shooting. Clark's mention of the 'story' of Lois' murder coming out in the early editions of the Daily Planet that coming morning.
A very interesting part for me is going to be the passage of time. Lois was killed in the commision of a crime therefore an autopsy is required. All those gentle readers out there who watch any of the CSI shows (or even NCIS, which is much better) know what is going to happen to Lois' body very soon.
tick, tick, tick, tick...
Tank (who also liked Lois' first words of communication)
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Features Writer
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Oh, and Kathy... a 20+-part epic? You're trying to kill me, aren't you? Kill you? Nah...I just see so much potential for angst in this, that I would expect it to be longer. And I'm not sure *how* you're going to wrap it up in just 3 more installments, but I'm looking forward to finding out. Poor Clark - to have thought for a brief and shining moment that he could have Lois back, and then to have that fleeting hope trampled into the dirt. And I'm glad to see that Lois is working through some of her anger, although not completely...her first words on the mirror were classic! Poor Clark - again - he must have thought he was losing his mind, along with his broken heart. Kathy
"Our thoughts form the universe. They always matter." - Babylon 5
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Kerth
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Kerth
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Should he be more scared because she's a ghost or because she knows? Jose
"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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You know, I'm really getting a huge kick out of reading these comment folders. One of these days we should have an Alt-Kerth for the funniest/angstiest/most threatening fic feedback post, I think! Julie, you've only just noticed? Took you long enough! Tank, that's a fascinating point about autopsies, isn't it? There were two key aspects to this section where I was both concerned/hoping in relation to reader reaction. And after the first few posts I was hugely relieved. First, the cloning question: TJ had mentioned in her post on part 2 that it could be a possible way to resurrect Lois. I had already thought of that and had this section all written and ready to go. And the scene got the reception I was hoping for - thank you! Second, the CLARK KENT, YOU ARE SO DEAD message. I thought it seemed right for Lois, but wasn't sure if some of you might think it was too cruel. I should have known you guys are every bit as keen on cruelty as I am... Thank you all very much indeed! Your posts have really been motivating me to write - and, as Kathy noticed, this is now a six-parter. Sorry, but while I guess I could have continued this on and turned it into the New Adventures of Clark and Lois (Deceased), I kind of wanted to finish it up so I could move on to other projects. And that means that part 4 is coming up very soon, mainly thanks to certain naggers on IRC! Wendy 
Just a fly-by! *waves*
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