Lois & Clark Forums Forums General Discussion Off Topic corrupted wishes game

Granted, wait you did say big as in the size of the amount of money right? Well the bank didn't know what you meant and sent you a giant check like the one used to show people giving donations.

I wish that I could actually get the time to read the hundres of books I've bought

Granted. But now you've read everything you have, your favourite authors haven't published anything else yet and you're left with... <cue dramatic scary music> ...Nothing...To...Read. The Horror!

I wish...junk food, chocolate, crisps etc were all health food that made you lose weight and lettuce was looked on with horror by dieticians everywhere.

LabRat (who has regular nightmares about that nothing to read situation )

Granted, well you have lost all the weight from Chocolate crisps but you can't stop losing and eventually you fall through your a-- and hang yourself.

I wish I were a healthy billionaire with lots of true family and friends around that I can help have easier lives.

Granted! As it turns out, though, your family and friends need a lot of help. You end up giving away all your money and running yourself ragged. At least it was fun while it lasted.

I wish that stupid 1 pixel-width line which suddenly developed on my laptop's screen would clear up.

granted. it's now a clear 1-pixel-width stupid line across your laptop screen.

I wish my dishwasher operated at something less than 85 decibels.

Granted! This one's easy. A blockage occurs in the incoming pipe, drastically reducing the water pressure. Your dishwasher still runs, it's whisper-quiet, it requires quite a bit less in the way of water and power, and the dishes are cool and dry! On the other hand, they're pretty much just as dirty coming out as they were when they were loaded in.

I wish I had a ready and free supply of all the good quality sugar-free chocolate I could comfortably desire.

Granted! No problem. Once a week, our tanker will arrive and pump the chocolate directly into your house in liquid form. It'll set quickly enough, though you may have problems getting the carpet fluff off it -- not to mention wading through it, as it'll probably be several feet deep...

I wish that I had a simple, free way of flying anywhere from wherever I am at the time, with no delays.

Phil

Granted, you are now Superman's best friend Jimmy Olsen. But after a while, he stops coming when you turn on the watch.


I wish I could enjoy chocolate without the caffeine headaches...

James

Granted! You can take in that delicious aroma for as long as you like! Doesn't that smell great?

I wish my friends had easier, happier lives... so that I could bug them (to play, to chat, to help me, etc) guilt-free.

Granted. But you gradually begin to realise that next to your friends, your life is boring and staid and you end up popping pills to stop the depression.

I wish every plant I took care of didn't die. (easy one, I suspect )

LabRat

Granted. You replace all the plants you have with plastic ones. You know the kind I mean --the really poor quality sort of fakes that you find in the Indian takeaway down the road.

When you take your new plants home, their leaves are totally unreaslistic shades of green. They also have plastic flowers that make a mockery of nature's designs.

Over time, the bright, lurid, unrealistic colours fade unevenly in the sun, and the plants get covered in a layer of grey dust that somehow melds with the plastic from which they are made. No matter how much you try to rub, scrub or clean, the dust will not shift.

Your fake plants do not die. But you end up throwing them out, anyway.


I wish I could unicycle.

Chris (who finds it much easier to come up with ways to sabotage other people's wishes than to think of wishes of her own).

Granted! You now know how to ride a unicyle! Unfortunately, there's no one around willing to sell, rent, or build you one. If you had one, though, you'd know how to use it!

I wish the governments of the world were run by competent and qualified people with the best interests of the populace at heart.

Paul, who also finds "granting" wishes easier than "making" them. (Then again, I never was very good with a blank slate. I freeze up when presented with too many possibilities.)

Granted. They are. Everything runs smoothly, the nations are all united, Utopia is created, and just the moment you think everything's perfect, Tempus appears and launches half a dozen nuclear missiles around the globe 'because he was bored'.

I wish I could find where to download Thalia's old songs from.

See ya,
AnnaBtG.

Granted. You find all the Thalia songs you could wish for...but the downloads come with a hidden virus embedded in them and before you know it your pc has died and you have to buy a new one.

I wish...(like Chris and Paul) I found it as easy to think of a wish as I do to sabotage...

LabRat

Granted! You can think of as many wishes as you want. But they're real wishes. Personal ones. Ones that matter. You'd have to be crazy to put them here, only to seem them twisted and ground to dust.

Meantime, you're stuck in front of the screen, thinking of things you really want but know you can't have and realizing that, besides driving yourself nuts with longing, you're completely wasting your time because you can't even post them.

I wish I had my own personal two-seat Harrier jet (capable of vertical take-off and landing and relatively high speed flight), complete with trained, qualified, and licsensed pilot/chauffeur.

Granted - You finally get to go on your flight, but a mysterious evil pilot kidnaps your talented pilot and hides him/her away. You didn't have enough security.

He needs your plane and adds it to his small and efficient army. He takes the pilot's spot and flies *you* and your jet away and conquers a small nation and you become his pet.

I wish I could figure out what I want to do for my career that gave me good money, satisfaction, and happiness.

Granted. You now realise that your perfect career to give you happiness, satisfaction and a decent paycheck would be a job as an Old Norse/ Medievalist professor. Unfortunately, there are only three of those actually employed as such in this country, if that. So, your perfect job is unattainable until one of those surprisingly healthy people dies off.

I wish textbooks weren't so expensive.

See, I have many, many practical wishes that need granting, my befuddled wish-granters.

Granted, you can now pick them up from your nearest dumpster for free! Only problem is that mice have chewed holes in the books and so they are totally useless.

I wish that cough medicine actually tasted like the flavour they say on the label

(I had a one one that said it was strawberry flavoured, needless to say it was nowhere near it)

Granted! Your local pharmacy begins to carry Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Medicine. Alas, ear wax.

I wish my son would sleep in past the crack of dawn each morning.

Granted. Shame that cough medicine now only comes in two flavours: cough medicine flavour and extra strong cough medicine flavour.

I wish that horrible, ugly white van would stop parking in our resident's parking bay, because it takes up twice as much room as a car and thus deprives two people of parking spaces.

Yvonne