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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,587
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,587 |
I know I said you were killing me, and asked for more. I didn't mean for you to keep on with the killing me!  Very intense. Very well done. And not LONG enough! Please, sir, can I have some more?
Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you, like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says, "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly.
- Under the Tuscan Sun
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454 |
Oh, excellent, Sara!!  The fix works perfectly. And you worked it in seamlessly. Well done! Lois's fear for what she might bring to the Kents is palpable, and so credible. The contrast between their idyllic, ordinary, safe lifestyle and what she's running from is stark, and I can see very clearly why she backs away from involving them. As for Clark, how could a man be more tortured than he is? He's not living; he's existing.  Martha's right. He needs to come home. Now!!!  Wendy 
Just a fly-by! *waves*
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,047
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,047 |
Oh the agony, the angst! Clark Jerome Kent, listen to your mother and go home to Smallville! To Lois!! Great part, the pain in Clark's head is just overwhelming.  ~Liz
Lois: Can I go?
Clark: No.
Lois: Oh come on, Clark, why do we go through this? We both know I’m going to go.
Clark: Then why do you ask?
Lois: I’m trying to be nice.
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 943
Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 943 |
I think Rivka and I are in the same place here, dying yet still wanting more... I never thought I had a tolerance limit as to *how* much angst I could stand in a fic, but I may be reaching it. The agony permeating their lives is just excruciating. I've never been one to *need* a happy ending for a story - although I'm usually glad to see it - but this time I think I really NEED one, Sara. To see the two of them reach a time of joy after all this cr*p that they've been suffering for the past two years. Poor Lois. Physically suffering from the nausea, and feeling completely alone, now that the haven that she was running to is no longer an option. As Wendy said, her decision to keep M&J uninvolved was perfectly logical, yet so sad too. And it's so sad to see her utter conviction that no matter how long she stays hidden, that Luthor WILL find her one day, therefore she has to stay alone.  My poor Clark. The man is in complete agony. Are there levels below "existing", because that's where he is. He needs to go home, although I don't know what will make him do that. Even though he knows that running away to London didn't solve his problems, he doesn't seem ready to face the fact that he might not be any unhappier back home. He would just stay in London, like he'd planned. He would stay until his nightly torture and daily pain killed him. Until he died of a broken heart.
//Except you might not. Have you thought about that? You might *not*.//
He passed a tired hand over his eyes. He'd never thought about that before. He'd always just assumed that sooner or later, his pathetic, lovelorn existence would come to an end. The idea that he could go on, living in this hell for ten or twenty years more... The poor boy... And then there's Martha.  Just the tiny snippets of information about the phone call had me sobbing. As a mom, my heart just reaches out to her. So please post soon. I assume that the agony is going to last a while longer before we see any light at the end of the tunnel, and I'm anxious to see how we get there... Kathy
"Our thoughts form the universe. They always matter." - Babylon 5
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 509
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Oct 2004
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I am oficially dead!!!!!!! Poor Clark...just fix this, do something  Karla
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 244
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 244 |
Noooooo! Da**! Sorry, but this is sooo frustrating! There I was thinking that at least Lois would get to be in a safe place, but no, would have been way too easy...
And poor Clark... Why oh why did he talk himself out of the fact that Lois might have run away? It's what she did!!!!
*groans* This really takes the meaning of angst to a whole new level. But I still want more. In the hope of finding the light at the end of this dark, dark tunnel.
-Sira
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 370
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 370 |
Sara, you had me in tears with this part. Poor, POOR Clark!!! Oh please, DO SOMETHING to make him better, okay?! . Poor, POOR Lois!!! Do I have to say I need more? But I think I need to switch to waterproof mascara  . ~Julia
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 1,047
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jul 2003
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KathyM said: The agony permeating their lives is just excruciating. I've never been one to *need* a happy ending for a story - although I'm usually glad to see it - but this time I think I really NEED one, Sara. I'm going to get on the board the Please, Please, Please, Sara Begging for a Happy Ending Train. Because, oh, the tunnel is long and dark and so very cold!! I'm going to need lots and lots of sunshine... bunnies and butterflies... erm... other really happy things, when this is finished. That said, I am *so* impressed with how you've done this. How beautifully written. A poetic punch to the gut. (Ok, that's lame, but I can't think of another way to describe how reading this feels.) I think my favorite element is how Luthor hangs heavy over this entire piece. The constant menace that shadows poor, poor, poooooor Lois! Wonderfully done, Sara. CC
You mean we're supposed to have lives?
Oh crap!
~Tank
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Posts: 2,992
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Sara This is excellent.  Tricia 
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 385
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 385 |
/me looks around the fdk folder, bottom lip wobbling alarmingly...
/me gives Rivka, Sira, Julia and CC a great big hug...
/me gives Kathy an even bigger one...
/me shoves poor dead Karla into Emil Hamilton's handy vat of icky regenerating fluid...See what you guys are doing to me? Making me feel guilty for all the in here <g> You have all got me  so hard, I'm beginning to worry that my cheeks will never go back to their original colour. Same with my jaw - it's been  ] is delayed somewhat. I really, really appreciate it I don't know how to go further without giving away too much so I'm going to leave it there and post Part Seven... hope it goes down okay Sorcha [still ]
Death: Easy, Bill. You'll give yourself a heart attack and ruin my vacation.
Meet Joe Black
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