Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic And the next time I see A-... - OR FDK: In a Better Place 10

...-ndrus. I really wanted to put his name in the topic heading. Reminds me of a song title. But I was afraid that it might be too much of a spoiler. Granted, a person wouldn't know whether it meant I wanted to kiss him or strangle him, but based on the incompetence he's displayed in the story thus far, the latter would be a safer guess, and I didn't want to give it away that he'd blown it. Again.

OK, on to the important stuff.

1. Loved it. Awesome as always. Different twists than I expected - you always keep me guessing and on the edge of my seat, CC. More details in a minute.

2. I'm guessing 24 story parts. But it can be longer. I'm going to be very sorry to see this one end.

3. And... it's too short! Keep going! Epic length would be good. The bar has been set by Masques, but you could try to break it. See #2 directly above.

I had actually thought that Madge and Petal would succeed with Tempus, but I'm not sure why. If you're only roughly 1/2 or 2/3 through the story, it would be way too early for Tempus to solve the mystery now.

Based on what we saw in the show, despite the fact that he was fooled by the replicant, I never thought of Andrus as incompetent. But you've done such a great job of portraying him as that in this story, CC, and it works beautifully. How on earth did he get this job anyway? Have you said - is he a brother-in-law of some PTB who felt pressured into giving him a job to keep peace in the family?

And heading onward to Utopia...I just read all this stuff in awe. I *love* the way that Clark was so focused on the globe - on seeing it, touching it. He was very Lois-like here - dive in first, damn the consequences. Sure, I agree with him that they have to reveal their true identities to Silas, but even if he had thought it was the wrong thing, I think he would have done it anyway.

And poor Silas. The man originally thinks he's just got a couple of look-alikes who won't leave, then he thinks they're just too obsessed with their roles, then he's thinks they're family members, and then... He's a great character, CC, and I love how hard he's defending the family and its integrity.

Is it Thursday yet?

Kathy

As I recall, this was the point at which I screamed Aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh very, very loudly and threatened to beat Andrus to death with a two by four.



One of my favourite segments all the same. I just love all the little nuances contained in the conversation between Silas and Lois and Clark. I especially love the fact that Clark is slightly disappointed in the globe, having expected something a little more flashy.


LabRat

CC, if you could have watched me reading this part, it would have made your little author's day. Week. Year, most likely.

I was on the edge of my seat during the L&C&S scene ... just aching with Clark to get my hands on that globe, and loving, loving, loving the way he finally got a backbone transplant and overrode Lois's Tempus investigation with his desperate need to see the globe first. Loved that they dropped the fascade and let Silas see who they really were (and of course Silas would assume they were nutjobs who had been roleplaying far too long), loved Lois's "Who are you! You can't be sweet Kansas farmboy one minute and 'Give me the globe or else', the next!" (paraphrased, but I'm on a roll with no time to go back for the exact quote), and was practically falling out of my chair with glee as the globe came alive under Clark's touch.

Deep sigh. Wow, that was so satisfying, and there's still more to come!

So then I got to the Madge/Petal/Tempus stuff ... and again, you should have been here because I was literally laughing out loud at Petal's awesome acting skils and Tempus's flirting and that Madge's flattery was working so perfectly and "Same conditions as last time" which says so much about how often they've played this game. And then ... Andrus showed up. And I screamed. No, really, I did. OK, ok, it was more of a "ARGH!!!", but I did yell it out loud and even pounded my fists on my chair arm, laughing my butt off and going, "No, no, no!!!"

So, um ... did I just admit all that out loud? Shoot.

Yeah, yeah, I'm hooked. Show me the way to the funny farm. Just make sure it has internet access because I *need* my next fix of this story.

And as for the number of story parts, just keep on writing, darlin'. No need to bring this story to an end. Like, ever.

Kathy

So many unbelieveable subtle undertone story hints/subplots/ideas simmering through, as usual.

I love it. I love your story-telling and this idea is truly inspired.

Wow! Everything the others said!

I, too, loved the C/L/S scenes, when Lois and Clark quit guarding their actions and reverted to themselves. And that Silas, while disliking the job, is still doing it whole-heartedly. And yes, I loved Clark acting like Lois would in his desire to see the globe, and Lois's backing when Silas actually brought it out.

I love, too, how you keep surprising us with yet another artifact, of sorts, turning up. Even in a utilitarian office, not intended for public viewing, there are STILL L&C artifacts or facsimilies of artifacts (the copy of Martha Kent's painting).

And the Tempus thing-- I really thought he'd tell them how he did it, which would help them figure out where L&C are... then along comes Andrus...

And this


This, however
wasn't nearly as funny.

~Toc

Hazel, still snickering

Ditto, ditto, ditto all!!

Inspired, truly. Loved the Tempus scene. Petal was no doubt playing her role to the hilt..

Poor Herb, although I don't have that much sympathy for him

ANDREUSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! AHHHHH!

Poor, poor Madge. *sigh*

~Liz

Absolutely ditto everything said so far, CC! I've been absent from these folders for a while, but most definitely not absent from the story. (As you know, I've had other things to occupy my time over the last week or two ).

Anyway. Adoring the story. Did I tell you I think it was just so clever that Clark somehow looked less like Clark/Superman than Lois looked like Lois? It just fits. After all, this is Clark in his just-become-Superman phase. He's still in the hiding-in-plain-sight mode, making himself - as Clark - as self-effacing as possible, terrified that someone's going to notice that he's 'different'. He stoops. He dresses in suits way too large for him. He's clumsy. He wears his hair too long, almost as if it's something else he wants to hide behind. And, as Superman - not that Silas saw him as Superman - he hasn't fully grown into the role. That was such a smart observation on your part!

As for everything else, I too am ready to yell at you for the constant Petal-interruptuses!

And I was yelling, "Go, Clark, go! Tell Silas already!"


Wendy

Shut up. Good God, I should know by now I can't read one of these segments without popping open my comments window halfway through.

And poor Silas thought they were look-a-likes run amuck...

Yet another showdown between Lois and Clark. I love their fights. I really do. They're so intense, and they carry so much personality of the two of them when you write.

Never even would of thought of that!!

Sorry, I know I shouldn't be laughig at Herb's misfortune, but that's so funny, James! Great idea!

You're kidding. I've read 123 pages already? Doesn't even feel like it! Omg, I can't wait to see what Silas has to say with all of the crazy Lois/Clark/globe stuff in front of him. I had to snort when he threatened to outrun Clark...

Silas better have gotten a ginormous ClueX4!

Can't wait for the next part!
JD

Buahhh!!

Jose

Everyone's picked out my favourite parts so I don't want to be redundant.

I must say though, loved it when Lois compared the ramification of seeing the globe to seeing the Departure Room.

And then I have to mention the babble gene that Silas inherited. Interesting genetics.

I wondered what happens to this terrific museum whenLois and Clark go back to their own time and the whole timeline changes or does it?

Thursday. I can wait that long.

gerry

The story is - More soonest!!!!

Artemis

Poor, confused Silas! I want more of Silas, please. You really left us hanging here!

Love the Utopians too. Petal is a gem!

And Herb, LOL! James, that was a very wicked but brilliant idea.

I'm really enjoying this story, CC, although your chapters are much too short. (sigh).

Well they beat me to it all. All has been said. Love it! More soon! Laura

That's the trouble with spring break being over. I don't get to post until long after everyone else has pointed out all my favorite parts. And then when I nit-pick it looks like I didn't like it . . .

So let me say first that I keep being amazed by how much better this keeps getting, because it started out so great that just staying at that level would have kept me hooked! Instead, it just keeps reeling me in! (Which is why I want longer parts. I read Masques -- 123 pages don't faze me! )

Silas is wonderful -- especially the Lois-babble! -- if a tad more clueless than I'm finding easy to believe. If he knows about Tempus' manipulations of time and L&C, he should have a tiny doubt by now -- not a big one, I buy that the occasional imitator does so good a job they convince themselves -- but a teeny little one?

NO ONE EVER TURNS THEIRS OFF?!? NEVER? OMG, Utopia IS hell, and Tempus is right. Not to sleep? Relax? Make love? What about for religious reasons?

I love my cell phone, but sure as sure I let it go to voicemail sometimes. And for 25 hours every week, I don't answer any phones!

Any society where not answering the phone is unheard of has taken "nice" to pathological levels. (Not that I feel strongly about this, or anything. )

(*whisper* And, grammar fascist that I am, I object to the apostrophe in "zip-coms." )


The Tempus/Madge/Petal scene is absolutely MAGIC. And I've commented before that your view of Andrus is a bit more vitriolic than mine, and you have thoroughly established him as incompetent. And I get that unless things are about to be solved a little too neatly, Tempus can't just give everything away -- Petal or no. But . . . I like Andrus! And some part of me rebels at the notion of his being THAT much of a bumbling idiot, and then THAT oblivious to what he has done.

He's not of sub-normal intelligence, right? Did he never taste one of the tarts? Does he not have eyes or ears? Messing up I can believe (although it does bother me, but I can accept that your vision of the character is markedly different than my own); but complete obliviousness to his own inadequacies? I'm having trouble with that, even in Utopia (where I imagine the "self-esteem" movement has gotten its second wind). Maybe it's just me -- won't be the first time.

And one more thing:

I never thought, I'd see Superman threatening Silas, even a future family member It is true what was said (or hinted, I didn't read all comments) earlier in this post - this was a true role reversal between Clark and Lois. What some personal issues can do to you

What I'm looking forward to is the flabbergasted expression on Silas' face because I'm sure you'll portray that scene just right! So far your style of writing was very enjoyable and although I could kill you for each swap between Lois/Clark/Silas and the Tempus-storyline it works for keeping up the suspense.

Hi CC,

Haven't had much time to comment, but just want to join in the chorus once more and say 'brilliant'.

I'm enjoying this so much.

Yours Jenni

My favorite line was when Mags thought she could understand murder...

I almost expected Lois to smirk when Silas said that he would be able to catch Clark and possibly hurt him.

As for the locker scene, that was all CC, I just suggest one off the wall way to get rid of Wells...

James

Rivka wrote, in defense of Andrus,

For me, it's been clear that Andrus is a comic relief character, not meant to be over-analyzed in a light-hearted, funny romp such as this. That said, I do know someone a lot like this. <g>

Obviously not exactly -- he's never messed up the sting of a time criminal, as far as I know -- but he's often in his own world, it seems. Unaware of how people are responding to him and prone to saying thing that are odd and can mess up what to me is the most simple of tasks (needing help sending an email, for example, when he's been online for two years and has sent hundreds of them) and babbling on for an eternity about subjects when it's painfully obvious that no one in earshot has the least bit of interest.

Yet this man functions in society -- he has a college degree, a career (self-employed) and a wife and a child and a house in a good neighborhood. He's always had people to "take care of him" -- parents, siblings, tutors, spouse, friendly neighbors such as myself -- who buffer him against the world and help him navigate his way through situations that would be beyond him alone.

So I can kinda see how someone like this, in a society where no one would be mean enough to tell him how slow he is, where he has a father-in-law (or was it an uncle?) who is super-high on the food chain and has made it clear that he needs to be sheltered, could still be around. He's a parody, yes, but in this type of story, he fits right in. <g>

Kathy (who has just read CC's comments in the part 9 folder and is dying at the thought of going a week or two without this story.)

CC, I'm buried under essays and final exams (grades are due tomorrow at noon, and then I have four reports to finish on Friday and graduation out of town all day Saturday), so I won't have a chance to comment until Sunday, but I wanted you to know I'm still reading and enjoying. I'll try to comment on the parts I've missed then.

BTW, 123 pages isn't exactly accurate. In manuscript format (double-spaced, 12-point, non-proportional font), you had already hit 129 pages after part 7, so it's probably pushing 200 pages now.

See you Sunday.