Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: Investigating Luthor - Final

Mouse

First of all, this definitely does not suck. You have done a great job. I thoroughly enjoyed it and look forward to reading more of your stories.

Tricia

Thanks Tricia for you encouraging comments. I've got a sequal planned out in my head, but I'm not sure if I'll write it.

Mouse

Mouse, having read this story through twice (or is it three times )I want to reiterate how good it is.

Alice has become a very real character, rather than the faceless homebody she was on the series. And bringing Alice and Perry together again made the rip very worthwhile.

I loved Lois because she wasn't a whiny victim, but a strong woman with a purpose. And she achieved her goal...now she has to work on Clark more.

A sequel is definitely in order. I'm around for beta-reading.

gerry

A solid, well-crafted story. Hard to believe that it's your first. You must have written extensively in other forums.

For me the most satisfying aspect was the fact that Lois acted intelligently concerning Luthor. Rather than the mindless acceptance of the Luthor fascade that the series foisted onto Lois, your Lois acted like Lois. Her natural curiosity and suspicion were aroused by the accusations of her friends. While, not willing to just accept their suspicions immediately, she didn't just reject them either. It made her do what Lois would do. Investigate for herself.

It was also nice to see Alice as a three-dimensional character in her own right. She was a natural confidant for Lois under the circumstances.

Well done.

Tank (who wouldn't be adverse to reading more from your keyboard)

Sucks, my foot! This was a great story. I loved the women teaming up to investigate. Everything was well thought out and crafted.

Awww, loved that part! I fully expected...well scratch that, I never really know what to expect with these rewrites, but I always love it when lunkhead Clark doesn't go first. :p

Anywho, great story, and **coughwritethesequelcough**

JD

Oh, it definitely didn't suck !

This was exceptionally well-crafted, especially for a first story. However, I do have to bring up one little problem. We need to see what happens next!

You've got them on a solid first step to a great relationship, but we want to see what happens to Luthor, where the first date goes, how Perry's relationship with Alice progresses -- do I need to elborate?

Kindly drop those doubts and write the rest. As a new writer on the boards, you're going to have to learn to accept harrass -- uhm, encouragement, just like the rest of us.

Nan

What they said! Nice waffy story. Laura

I love it

Are you sure that was your first time?

Well Done

Karla

Hey Mouse

I've been very bad at commenting on this story - and on others lately, too. But I want to echo what everyone else here has said: I've really enjoyed this. It's very well-written, nicely paced, and with a really nice balance of A- and B-plot.

In this section, I really liked Lois finding Superman in the cellar and taking care of him - and telling him that she needed him to get better because who would rescue her if he didn't? And I loved her asking Clark out at the end.

That moment in the ambulance, when Lois, slightly delirious, imagined Superman and Clark's faces morphing into on, was very tantalising. And if there's one thing I'm disappointed about, it's that you didn't follow up on that at the end. Although if you really are planning a sequel I'll forgive you!

Great work!


Wendy

Mouse, I read your story in one session. I enjoyed it immensely. It's really great!

And yes - a sequel is definitely needed. So start writing!

Um sequal?! Write write write.

I read every part and I just loved it. I think there was a lull in postings before and I looked every lunch hour at work to see if a new part was up. I think this story rocked.