WOW! I’m truly stunned!
CC was an amazingly good sport about it, sending me back BR comments which concluded with this:
Well, I won’t say it’s perfect, Wendy, but you definitely have something here. It’s original. Loaded with zippy/sparkling dialogue. You didn’t slow it down with too much thinking. As usual, no typos, no dropped words. I don’t get that, btw.
And I got persuaded to post. So that’s the explanation for all the in-jokes and obscure references to individuals here, which is the main reason why I wasn’t going to post on the boards. But most of you seem to have deciphered them impressively well!
I should add that CC really deserves something approaching co-author credit here. Her response to me included a lot of commentary, some of which absolutely
had to end up in the story. As I said earlier, the para about helping nuns cross the road and feeding kids peanut butter sandwiches was all hers.
I said I’d explain a few things, so here goes. As I think most of you saw, all of CC’s stories are referenced in here.
“As to how you got here,” the second Muse explained, “That’s simple. Through the window, of course.”
Of course, Through The Window.
“Let’s get on with it. We all know what we’re here for. Just lay out the charges. Unvarnished, unbuttoned, undone, uncaged, unspooled, unleashed... whatever.”
Lois Unbuttoned, Superman Undone, Clark Uncaged. Unspooled is a sneaky reference to Mayson Says the Magic Word.
“Let the world find out that CC Aiken is hereby charged with the unauthorised abduction and neutralisation of fanfic writers’ muses.
When The World Finds Out.
While pretending that said muses were merely being taken to a better place, in fact the perpetrator of this massive theft had no intention of sending them back again.”
In a Better Place and And Back Again.
CC cowered. The expression on that woman’s face made her feel like something the cat had dragged in.
Something The Cat Dragged In, of course.
Ellipses? Internal monologue? And the late, great semi-colon?
The Late, Great Lois Lane.
“Mayson Drake.” Well, Mayson wasn’t really her lawyer, but CC was sure that the woman would help her out here. At any rate, it looked as if ‘lawyer’ was the magic word around here.
“Mayson?” another Muse scoffed; CC blinked. A man? A male Muse? Tall. Older than the rest. Bearded. With a - a *bass guitar* slung over his shoulder. “You really think she’d help you? After the Great Cosmic Kitten of Fate and letting her see Clark choose Lois in front of her? Uh-uh. No way. Face it - you’re toast.”
Again, Mayson Says The Magic Word. And here I almost feel as if I owe CC an apology - from her BR comments:
Oh... gads. We could have left that one out, don’t you think? Ack! Curse you and your razor-sharp memory, Wendy!
Sorry, CC!
One in-joke is worth explaining. Counting ellipses and this:
CC rolled her eyes. “Want me to start counting some of your writers’ semi-colons? Or pages without a word of dialogue?”
“Been there, done that,” the Irish Muse drawled.
CC blushed. Oh yeah, she remembered that. But it had been *deserved*! Nine pages. Nine. Pages. And Not. One. Word. Said. By. Anyone. All he did was read a *newspaper*! And think. For. Nine. Pages.
Anyone who’s been fortunate enough to have CC as a BR or GE will probably know that she has a (hilarious) habit of providing a running commentary on the story. When she GEd Betrayed for me last December, I was in severe danger of choking from lack of breath as I read her comments. She counted my ellipses (***For those of you keeping score that is 12 ellipses for Wendy thus far
[actually, I think the final total was over 300, since the last figure she mentioned, several pages before the end, was 301 ]). Begged me to add commas, even if they weren’t strictly necessary... and this:
Gads, seven pages and not one word of dialogue. I couldn’t do this with a gun to my head!
You think Clark has an inner compass? I mean, I have absolutely zero sense of direction. So, if I could fly….no telling where I would end up. Just making conversation, since no one else is….hee, ok. Tiny joke. Ignore me,
***Oh, that’s nice, Wendy, you used six ellipses here, and also, Someone Speaks!
Finally, the Muses.
“Are you CC Aiken?” one, speaking in an unfamiliar accent, but which could have been English or perhaps Scottish, demanded.
Yvonne, originally from Scotland, now living in England.
“We wanted to speak to you,” the second said quickly. A western accent, maybe? Utah? Montana? Idaho? “We have some questions to put to you.”
This Muse was also in charge of the proceedings - Erin, who’s from Idaho and is so incorruptible that she
has to be the judge!
“Oh, stop pussyfooting around!” a third Muse demanded, appearing as if from nowhere. Shorter than the rest - that made CC feel a *lot* better. In fact, almost as short as she was, which was why the Muse had been invisible up to now. Her robe was adorned with letters of the alphabet, though, strangely, CC could only pick out H, I and J, with some half-formed Ks. The Muse had just a faint hint of a Southern drawl, which *should* mean there was some affinity between them.
Pam, of course, with special reference to her Alphabet Series - and I owe her a big thanks for suggesting that she get a cameo, because I really enjoyed doing this one.
“And you think we should care about that?” A new voice. A strange accent. Green robes. With a pattern of... maybe ficus leaves? Instead of flowing locks, a long, thin ponytail. “Even mass murderers bring their mothers flowers.”
The accent. Very unusual. Yet she’d heard something like it before. Not for a few years, though. It had been on the TV news a lot one time... a little over ten years ago, maybe. Yes! That was it - white South African. Former South African, maybe.
Meredith’s already confessed to this one.
“She has a right to a lawyer.” This Muse was definitely Scottish. And much smaller than any of the others. Smaller than CC herself, even. And... grey. Definitely grey. And with that pointed chin and little twitchy ears, she looked kind of... rat-like.
No prizes at all for guessing LabRat.
“Yeah.” A Mid-Western accent this time. One of those non-accent accents. CC wondered how she pronounced ‘caramel’. “You know, I really think you guys are all over-reacting here.”
This is a two-for-one deal.
Lynn and KathyB are both from the Mid-West. A couple of months ago, Lynn very kindly had several of us to stay for a few days for what got called the Accent Convention - after all, we were from Scotland, Australia, Canada, Ireland, Georgia, Illinois and Michigan/Indiana. Kathy and Lynn claimed that they sounded exactly alike and both had no accent at all. Those of us not from North America thought they sounded different.
Finally, the ‘caramel’ thing is from the American English thread in Off-Topic; Kathy pronounces it ‘carmel’.
“Mayson?” another Muse scoffed; CC blinked. A man? A male Muse? Tall. Older than the rest. Bearded. With a - a *bass guitar* slung over his shoulder. “
Another easy one - Tank.
CC rolled her eyes. “Want me to start counting some of your writers’ semi-colons? Or pages without a word of dialogue?”
“Been there, done that,” the Irish Muse drawled.
Me.
“She’s right.” The tallest woman CC had ever seen, and who spoke with a faint Arizona accent, spoke up.
SaraK, who is
extremely tall and is from Arizona. Actually, just realised that I should have made it ‘spoke up craftily’.
“It’s simple.” Another Muse stepped forward, this one speaking with a subtle French accent. “Just don’t post another story for a few months. At least. I’m not saying that we don’t love your stories. That’s part of the problem. We do. But as soon as you start posting we go into hiding.”
Kaethel, who is know for being ‘as subtle as a ten-ton truck’.
“And you really don’t need to worry. She’ll be well entertained. Mrs Tempus took a stack of DVDs with her,” the Irish Muse said with a smile.
“Oh? Lois and Clark? Smallville?” CC asked, hope rising again.
“Highlander.”
Elena, who is a huge fan of Tempus and Highlander in equal measure.
Well, for anyone who’s read this far, I have a question. A few people have urged me to submit this to the Archive. I wasn’t planning to, for the same reason that I was reluctant to post here: because it really does contain an awful lot of in-jokes which make little sense to anyone who doesn’t know some of the people referenced here pretty well. I think on the Archive it would be even more confusing. So any thoughts on the matter would be appreciated!
And finally - a
huge thank you to CC for being so gracious and such an amazingly good sport about all this gentle teasing. May your Muse never go into hiding and may your inspiration never run dry!
Wendy
(Oh, and Tank: CC actually looks like a cross between a young Audrey Hepburn and a young Leslie Caron <g>)
I love it.
And free advertising, to boot! <g> 
