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Columnist
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OP
Columnist
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 699 |
Wow! This was excellent!
And you've maintained the tension throughout really well. I'm very impressed.
More, soon, please?
(Posting schedule? What posting schedule?)
Irene
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: May 2005
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You have an awesome story-telling talent, and an awesome story here! Way to go. 
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 139
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 139 |
Oh, I just love this. I don`t think I`ve ever read a story written through this perspective. But I have to say, I like it. More soon please!!!!  sunshine
A friend is somebody that knows everything about you and still likes you
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Posts: 4,058
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058 |
Oh wow what a nice guy. Poor Clark! he needs a shower and dry clothes. Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Posts: 1,587
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,587 |
This just gets better and better! And I love Jake.  I think I know him . . . or someone just like him. So I multiplied that by ten and figured that might be how he felt right now. Then, given the fact that he was lying prone like a discarded toy on the pavement, while I was standing around practically on top of him, kind of like a mother hen but, well, more manly, I doubled the figurative value of embarrassment and came away with a large total.
And then, as I thought more about it, it became painfully obvious why people could peg me as an engineering type about five seconds after meeting me. 
Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you, like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says, "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly.
- Under the Tuscan Sun
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Well, I'm hooked. Poor Jake, that whole awkward thing...sheesh, you were killing him. Hosing Superman down, JUST HOW DISTURBING COULD THAT BE!?!?! Seriously, and not in a "TJ will volunteer" kind of way. Here's a guy that can lift tanks in his bare hands, see through walls, and fly...and Jake is left to HOSE HIM DOWN... Good Story!  Let me see more. TEEEEEJ
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Posts: 1,047
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,047 |
You have me hooked!  Poor Clark!  ~Liz
Lois: Can I go?
Clark: No.
Lois: Oh come on, Clark, why do we go through this? We both know I’m going to go.
Clark: Then why do you ask?
Lois: I’m trying to be nice.
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 123
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 123 |
Your writing is superb with this fic. The descriptions conjure up a "trailer" in my mind of the actual scene. The visual reality playing out from written word.
The perspective in this fic is unique for a L&C story that I can recall.
The trailer you made is so visually captivating. I'm waiting to find out exactly what happened to Superman. He saved the plane but the trailer seemed to have someone in the plane opening a box with kryptonite and then an explosion.
This goes along with Superman being covered with the deadly element yet Jake makes no mention of an explosion. A part of the story I look forward to seeing fleshed out in a future chapter.
Interesting that kryptonite is not apparently beleived to exist or be just a rumor. In this story Superman seems well into his career so, whomever did this, had to have access to the knowledge Trask had.That is a small circle and Lex of course is at the top of the list.
The trailer, the idea of trailers for Superman fic, is just awesome. Who knows, maybe someday we'll see an L&C fanfilm. A story like this would lend itself well to that. Its a character study with no need for superheroics. The driveway scene would have make for a great fanfilm segment.
Thanks for this captivating tale.
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Posts: 2,992
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Diane WOW! This is excellent.  Very powerful and emotional! I can't wait to see how Jake and Superman cope in this situation.  Tricia 
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Posts: 123
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 123 |
Read the first 2 chapters again for the 3rd time. Something new comes out ech time I read this.
Don't know if anyone else caught this but why was Superman in total fear of being taken to the hospital. Why didn't he ask to be taken somewhere - why di he not ask for Dr. Hamilton maybe or Lois? He is covered with kryptonite dust and dying and he tells Jesse not to worry he'll be better in a short while.
Now there is always the theme of denying one's mortality/vulnerability that Jesse hints at - but this would sort of be suicide - Superman not asking to be taken to a Hamilton or Lois.
So is there a hidden B plot going on here? Was the attack on Superman a grand conspiracy with "official" government elements invovled? Hence Superman not wanting to be taken to the hospital?
Seems like Superman may have something bigger than the kryptonite he needs to be saved from. As a counterpoint to Jesse.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454 |
Well, remember, he's in Washington DC - not that easy to get to Lois or Dr Klein (did you mean Klein when you said Hamilton? In the Lois and Clark universe, Hamilton's not Superman's doctor). As for why he wouldn't want to go to a hospital, I could see two reasons: the 'dissect like a frog' fear and his dislike of people knowing just what Kryptonite does to him. By this time, Clark will be familiar with some medical staff in Metropolis, but wouldn't know anyone in DC, so his insistence that he didn't want to go to hospital seems pretty logical to me. Wendy
Just a fly-by! *waves*
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 111 |
We don't know yet if this is pre or post revelation. Even if it's post revelation Superman will avoid asking for Lois to avoid revealing the connection to the public.
At first he probably thought he had been exposed to Kryptonite and would feel better once he got away from it. Avoiding hospitals also avoids media coverage and disclosure of the event.
Once he recognized that he wasn't getting better and that he needed more help, he trusted the help which was available to him with the necessary information. At this point, he needs help immediately from the person who is with him. To ask for help from anyone else would be to wait too late.
The plane landed safely, so it becomes apparent that the exposure happened after they were on the ground. From what we've been given so far it looks to me like an attempted capture & Superman has escaped & hidden from his pursuers, expecting to recover & get away.
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 430 |
Hello Thanks for the feedback so far! I'm intrigued that this has sparked such debate Again you pointed out that something terrible must have happened before. Him remembering when he moved there with ......... whom?? You'll find out soon And I love Jake. [Smile] I think I know him . . . or someone just like him. Heehehee, glad you're enjoying my characterization Interesting that kryptonite is not apparently beleived to exist or be just a rumor. In L&C, they've taken great pains to keep kryptonite a secret a la Lois being asked to discard the bullet used in Madame Ex in the Bermuda triangle. Yes, the criminal element seems to keep coming up with it, but all-in-all, I don't really see the general populous of the world being all that knowledgable about it. It's very important to remember that Jake is just an every day person who, on top of that, doesn't even live in or near Metropolis. At first he probably thought he had been exposed to Kryptonite and would feel better once he got away from it. Avoiding hospitals also avoids media coverage and disclosure of the event. As for why he wouldn't want to go to a hospital, I could see two reasons: the 'dissect like a frog' fear and his dislike of people knowing just what Kryptonite does to him. This pretty much matches my views. There are a number of reasons why Clark wouldn't want to go to a hospital (all above). Also it's important to point out, he's not in a place where he can just seek Lois's help, or another person he's comfortable with like Dr. Klen. He's with a person he doesn't know (Jake), in a city he's not *overly* familiar with, and he's not really in any condition to leave the company of said person. Also, since he's in the suit, I would think asking for Lois would raise unneeded suspicion. Regardless, this is all very insightful feedback Thanks so much y'all! I'm really enjoying reading it all!
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
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Posts: 123
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 123 |
Good thought Oneleia. An attempted capture of Superman - I assume the disabling of the plane was part of it. They knew he'd land the plane safely and at that point go after him. Odd that no one saw the attempt on Superman. The fact this was near Washington makes me think it may not necessarily be Lex. If Superman were "real" you have to know therwe would be elements in the government who would want him eliminated - and I'm talking US governemnt.
There was a Batman/Superman Elseworlds tale a decade ago where that exactly happened - the governemnt go Bats to kill Suiperman. Once Bats had done that the governemnet went after Batman himself.
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