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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058 |
Wow I didn't expect him to invade Supermans privacy like that. He really is messed up. He needs help. I am surprised the investigative reporter in LOis didn't pickup more on his pain or ask more questions. Why isn't Clark going home if he is able to shower? I suppose I will find out the answers as you continue the story. Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Hi, Great part.  Clark should take him to an island to scream his lungs out. More ASAP, please. MAF 
Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Why isn't Clark going home if he is able to shower? I don't know if he was at full flying power when he went in for a shower, but the kid screaming outside kind of caught him off guard so maybe he'll be home soon. ACK!!on Lois giving away her name!! If this guy is anywhere near together he'd figure it out, but I think he just doesn't care...he wants to, for the girls mostly, but he can't anymore, the hurt's about killed him I think, but he's reaching for help or he would have never dialled that phone. Excellent section here...and on edge for the next part.  TEEEEEJ
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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OMG, what happened???  
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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God, that was just...so freaking good. I really don't have any other words for it right now. It was just really, really good. I loved Lois interacting with Jake.
Jen
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
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Columnist
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Columnist
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This was an excellent installment. I totally agree with how you've presented Jake and his curiosity. He knows he shouldn't be investigating Superman, but he just can't help himself. Plus, he's hoping to get answers for his own pain.
Looking forward to more,
Irene
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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Amazing!
Wonderful, wonderful dialogue. And Jake's internal dialogue is even better.
I am only worried about one thing. You know what usually happens to people who find out Superman's secret identity . . .
You wouldn't do that to those poor kids, would you?
Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you, like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says, "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly.
- Under the Tuscan Sun
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Wow! Jake is seriously damaged..poor thing. Loved the conversation with Lois...she is perfectly portrayed. What happened there at the end? Is he in pain from the screaming or is it something else? ~Liz
Lois: Can I go?
Clark: No.
Lois: Oh come on, Clark, why do we go through this? We both know I’m going to go.
Clark: Then why do you ask?
Lois: I’m trying to be nice.
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Oct 2004
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I am so hooked on this story...
In this life of froth and bubble,
Two things stand like stone.
Kindness in another's trouble,
Courage in your own.
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Wow!!! This is very powerful... it makes me almost breathless with its intense emotions-- Jake's desperation and despair, and Lois's passionate and powerful words. Poor Jake is so desperate to figure out how the woman in Superman's life copes that he is driven to call her. You portrayed her exactly right, and she put her finger on it, didn't she? It isn't that he doesn't love them, that he can't feel, it's that he's pushed it all so far away that he can't find his way back. He isn't really focusing on invading Superman's privacy as much as he is focusing desperately on how they do it, how they cope. I think that if Jake is "fixable," he is probably going to be one of those people who quietly know "the secret" but don't act on that knowledge. As I said earlier, Jake is a reluctant samaritan, doing what he has to do for Superman because it's the right thing to do. He's not fully involved in his own life and his own reality, is not really living it-- he's just existing. I'm also wondering how the children have been coping. They're still very young; possibly they aren't able to remember their mother. Jake refers more than once to the "years" since his wife died-- it could be just 2 or 3 years, I suppose. But if he's barely hanging on, just going throught the motions-- get up, feed them, get them to school, work, do chores, etc.-- are they existing in a barren world? No hugs? Or perfunctory ones? I wonder if the sound of the child screaming will be a trigger-- I wonder if it's one of Jake's children. And if it is, and if there is a serious situation here, I wonder if it will be a breakthrough for Jake. And I wonder if Superman will end up being Jake's good samaritan in return-- if Clark is wincing with pain from the sound of the child screaming, it may mean he has enough powers now that he can help with whatever is going on, if the child needs saving... Again, I loved the touches of humor. There's almost a whimsical feel to Jake's rambling thoughts as he picks up the suit and cape. Very earthly fabrics. Surprising. I wondered why they didn't blow up when people threw bombs in his face? Shouldn't the spandex at least have had the little tell-tale fuzzies of wear? And this-- Exasperation overtook me as she launched into another monologue, but I had caught up sufficiently with the conversation that I found the courage to interject. "Your lung capacity amazes me," I said with wonder. He's still in there somewhere, the real Jake, the feeling one.
TicAndToc :o)
------
"I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three."
-Elayne Boosler
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Beat Reporter
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Wow I didn't expect him to invade Supermans privacy like that. He really is messed up. Well, you know what they say. Curiosity killed the cat  Plus, he called more out of a need to help himself than to discover Superman's innermost secrets. Very different motives, I think. TicAndToc said it best: He isn't really focusing on invading Superman's privacy as much as he is focusing desperately on how they do it, how they cope. I'm glad you all liked Lois I really, really wanted to include her in this story, even if she could only be present by proxy. It was only by Yvonne's offhanded suggestion that I even got this scene in there, so THANK YOU to Yvonne You portrayed her exactly right, and she put her finger on it, didn't she? It isn't that he doesn't love them, that he can't feel, it's that he's pushed it all so far away that he can't find his way back. You hit the nail on the head. Jake has detached himself from those he knows he should love, mostly to save himself further pain. I'm also wondering how the children have been coping. They're still very young; possibly they aren't able to remember their mother. Jake refers more than once to the "years" since his wife died-- it could be just 2 or 3 years, Annie was 2 and Claire was four when the mother died. It's around twoish years later. Annie doesn't really remember, but Claire does. I dropped in little bits of this here and there: "Well," I began, though my voice sounded strange and shaky, even to my own ears. "Remember when Mommy used to go out with wigs on?"
Claire nodded, though Annie appeared lost. "Yeah." For example. Anyway, thank you SO MUCH for this insightful feedback It's such a rush to see so many people enjoying my work
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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You're saying that a six-year old has clear memories from when she was four? Hmm. In my experience, that's pretty uncommon -- even of significant details (and a wig might or might not be significant to a four-year-old).
Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you, like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says, "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly.
- Under the Tuscan Sun
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