Hope you feel better soon
Here we go...
"If he spoke to everybody who came storming in here, demanding to be seen, he'd have no time to run the city. Besides, if you cared to read the paper, you'd know that Mayor White is out of town. If you'd like, I can find you the address of a nice homeless shelter."
Oooh... ouch
Poor Lois. I bet being talked down to by some... cow doesn't help her trying to get back into the MDL mode after being terrified for so long.
You *really* like to make your readers feel, dontcha?
Pain?
Pain doesn't cover it!
Sadist
She left, even more hopeless than she'd been the night before.
Oi. See above
She'd shared everything with them, not just because they were her family, but because she hadn't had anyone else to tell.
Oi... again
That's some powerful imagery, Lois, alone, talking to a gravestone about her life. So much like our Lois, and yet so different. It really stresses how different she is. How unique. Her life story isn't the one we know. She's not the woman we know. A unique, fresh character. New. Exciting. Heart broken. Alone.
Sorry... I was writing before I managed to stumble across this
Anyway...
Now, more than ever, she longed for the comfort of family. She crossed the threshold into the cemetery towards the only family she had left.
Aw...
That's really powerful. And it draws an amazing parallel between Lois and Clark. And... aw...
And then she gasped in horror.
There was a fourth headstone.
Lois Lane. 1967-1993.
OMG!
That's how I reacted, just now, again.
What a kick to the gut...
Forever etched in stone was the proof that Lois Lane no longer existed.
Wow. I actually have tears in my eyes.
Being back in the solitude of her small, rented room now after wandering outside... it killed her that it was comfortable. Four walls keeping her enclosed. Familiar. Safer, somehow. They'd done that to her, made her...
Wow, Sara. Dammit, wow.
I'm not being very coherent tonight, but... wow. You've managed to convey so much in that. The way she is now. A shadow of who she was. Her resentment at herself for being that way. Her resentment at them for making her that way. Her despair
Just... thank God for her stomach!
For a moment, she entertained the idea of staying dead.
I like that. Not the idea, obviously, but the fact that she thought of that. That she's not the gung-ho take no prisoners confident woman that we know. That we're tempted to equate her with. It's the subtle things like this that remind us that she's not our Lois. She's been through terrible ordeals and difficult trials. Maybe she's stronger for it. Maybe not. Either way it's a journey *you* make us want to take with her.
Lead on, El Capitahn!
^Bad accent
I haven't been able to stop to comment, but... MDL back on the case? Woo
"Sir, the subject has arrived in Metropolis. She came in demanding to see the Mayor, just as you thought she would, sir."
"I trust you followed her?"
"Of course, sir. She's staying at the Apollo Motel. Shall I make the acquisition?"
Uh oh.
Make acquisition?
Sara!
That's just cruel, that blasted TBC!
Luckily, and yes, I'm gloating, I've got part 4
And... not 52? Not 52?!
Maybe... um... ok, about about in the 40s? The late 40s.
This part was... is... so powerful. So emotional. So wrenching. I truly, truly love it. Even the sinking feeling in the pit of my gut. The despair flowing through my veins. I feel sad, and I feel hopeless, and I feel... like I'm right there, with Lois. Every step of the way. And you've done that. And it's not a bad thing. It's a great thing. All I need is some waffy antidote. Maybe after every part you post you should post a link to a waffy story? Eh?
Or maybe I should?
... Am I allowed to?
David (Who hopes to be back with more comments later)
