|
|
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 484
Beat Reporter
|
OP
Beat Reporter
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 484 |
Yay, I start a comments thread, lol. And ooooooooooo . . . OK, at the end--*finally* we see Luthor. And oy--what a place to leave! Just after swearing on the channel that you would *never* leave us with awful cliffhangers. :p And the pain, the pain was tangible. Lois' pain at Clark's betrayal, Clark's pain at her rejection . . . very well done! And . . . I'll leave the rest of my FDK up to Krafty's excellent skill, since she always seems to say what I wish I could--10 times more eloquently. 
Don't point. You make holes in the air and the faeries escape.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 370
Beat Reporter
|
|
Beat Reporter
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 370 |
Interesting writing style! But it definitely works for me and for this excellent story.  Oh no!! ~Julia 
|
|
|
|
|
Anonymous
Unregistered
|
|
Anonymous
Unregistered
|
In the doorway, blocking Clark’s exit was her very stunned ex-fiance. Oh CRAP!! Dang, why does Lois gotta be sooooo mean??? You did it good too. Felt like I was standing in a blizzard for a couple of seconds. Anyway, keep it coming!!  and here's to hoping Lex gets a punch to the face. TEEEEEEJ
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great part. 
Maria D. Ferdez.
---
Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454 |
Very painful!  It's so clear that both of them are talking with their emotions shredded and not with their rational brains. She's not taking in what he's telling her - including the fact that he almost died and that it had something to do with her - and he's not taking in how much his lying hurt her.  At least she didn't want him to leave! But now look what you've done! Lois calls Superman Clark just as Lex arrives!  Wendy
Just a fly-by! *waves*
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363 |
Please tell me that Lex didn't hear Lois call Superman Clark...Get back here!!
I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 699
Columnist
|
|
Columnist
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 699 |
Oh... My... Wow...
Not only is this an incredibly powerful story, but you seem to have a talent at picking the absolutely most evil place to end each section!
This is just awesome!
More, soon, please? How about early on Tuesday instead of late? Or even on Monday? Or Sunday? Or NOW???
Irene
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,099
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,099 |
Oh please please please David post it all by Wednesday. I'm going back to work on Thursday and it drives me nuts and getting more of your wonderful story would certainly help with my mood.  Now of course you need to find a proper way to kill Lex. He can't know!!!!!!  Kaethel
- I'm your partner. I'm your friend.
- Is that what we are?
- Oh, you know what? I don't know what we are. We kiss and then we never talk about it. We nearly die frozen in each other's arms, but we never talk about it, so no, I got no clue what we are.
~ Rick Castle and Kate Beckett ~ Knockout ~
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 247
Hack from Nowheresville
|
|
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 247 |
“I gave it all up for you, because of you,” her voice wavered, “and you’re not even real.” Heartbroken. I'm just heartbroken. The pain is very tangible here. She loves him, but is deeply hurt by his secretiveness. Really lovely writing, David. I like the sparse style. Can't wait to see how they (you) sort this out.
Chris
"Superman is a guy who's seen wonders we'll never see and Lois is to him, one of those wonders."
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,702
Merriwether
|
|
Merriwether
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,702 |
Wow! Now that was just painful but of course in a good way.  I agree that you can't post soon enough and I'm all for finding new ways to kill Luthor. Jackie
Superman: I hear you've been looking for me.
Lois: All my life.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 165
Hack from Nowheresville
|
|
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 165 |
I can't believe I didn't post fdk for the first part...but you know how much I love it right? Your style of writing is great! Something about it really makes stand out as great, its...its impact writing! Less is truly more it seems. How do you do that?   Anyways I have to go - but I wish I could write as well as you! And I swear I'm not at all smug about the fact that I've seen the next part...why does no one look like they believe me? hehe! /me runs away, hugging the file with the fic in it, giggling and yelling: "I love it! I love it! I lov...
In this life of froth and bubble,
Two things stand like stone.
Kindness in another's trouble,
Courage in your own.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627 |
Another solid part. Honestly, the sparse style isn't my thing, but that's just a personal preference, I guess. The subject matter is still great, though. I don't recall many stories where Luthor is around for the aftermath...and another mean cliff-hanger!!  Jen :p
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,992
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,992 |
David WOW! So powerful and poignant!  I hope he didn't hear Lois. I can't wait to read more. Please post it before Wednesday morning (Aussie time). I leave early on Wednesdays and don't get home until late. Otherwise I may have track you down and pay a visit with shears and a pitchfork. Tricia 
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 111
Hack from Nowheresville
|
|
Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 111 |
hmmm very interesting. I dito Irene, that seriously was an evil place to end it.
Avatar: Michael Clarke, awesome Aussie cricket player
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 777
Features Writer
|
|
Features Writer
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 777 |
Finding Lex at your door is like discovering a snake in your shoe. It's nothing if not sobering. Lois and Clark can now fight with Lex, not each other.
"I'm red-eyed, tired and drunk" Teri Hatcher
"Fun will now commence" 7of9
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058 |
Holy Canoli David! get back here and finish this! More soon. Poor Clark! Lois he needs you! Lex, Oh noooooo! Ack! LAura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,047
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,047 |
Wow, lots of emotion in this and soo painful for both of them! Then Lex is at the door! HOLY!!  ~Liz
Lois: Can I go?
Clark: No.
Lois: Oh come on, Clark, why do we go through this? We both know I’m going to go.
Clark: Then why do you ask?
Lois: I’m trying to be nice.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,293
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,293 |
Wow! I mean...wow! More! Yvonne PS: Love the title. Love the style. PPS: The sparseness of this feedback is in direct homage to David's most excellent style. PPPS: And if you believe that, you'll believe anything.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 451
Beat Reporter
|
|
Beat Reporter
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 451 |
oh my... wow! This is amazing! And what a cliffhanger.. please continue, asap!!!  Awesome story so far
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362
Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
|
|
Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 9,362 |
Okay, skimming these comments is killing me because I don't have time to read this segment right now. Just posting to say I haven't lost interest - may take me a day or so to get the free time to catch up, but I'll be back! Looking forward to it! LabRat
Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.
The Musketeers
|
|
|
|
