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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 814
Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 814 |
Well, here we are. The first new material that anyone has seen in...well, I guess it's been years. Let me know what you think.
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,454 |
Well, anyone except me.  And I like it!  I also like the extended conversation with Carl, in particular the short, bitter laugh like an explosion. We're learning a lot here about Clark's upbringing, and it's pretty unsettling. His foster-family couldn't have been much further from Martha and Jonathan, could it? And if Carl wasn't the worst of his foster-brothers, how much worse did it get?  And now Lois knows stuff that Clark would probably prefer she didn't...  Wendy 
Just a fly-by! *waves*
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363 |
Was Carl a diversion? Good stuff. Please don't make us wait as long for part 13!
I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great part.  She need to talk straight to him and what she have. What did she learn about Trask? More ASAP, please. MAF 
Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,992
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,992 |
Shayne An excellent part!  Tricia 
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644 |
Eek! Poor Clark... this whole trip's a nightmare for him, isn't it?
And Lois -- keep on digging, girl. The story that got told in the papers probably wasn't all that accurate and it wasn't anywhere near complete. What do those small-town reporters know, anyway?
PJ
(oh, and the phrase is "part and parcel" not "part and partial")
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,994
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,994 |
Well, much pain and suffering. Shayne, are you trying to reach Yvonne's level of Clark abuse? I like this Lois, but why do I suspect that at some point she is going be totally irrational and go Vesuvius  on him. James
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058 |
I agree with James, you are rivaling Yvonne in darkness and pain here. I hope Clark gets a little break at this point. It seems you almost have a thing against him and you are taking it out on him  Anyway, I too like this Lois. I am looking forward to a little more romance as your title suggests and a little less violence. Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,293
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,293 |
Wow! Great story-telling, Shayne. That's what I like about your work - it's always so engrossing, because the story unfolds like a flower unfolding its petals. Dear Lois was similar, as I remember. Humble, innocent beginnings lead to all sorts of complexity and layers of character history and development. Carl seems like an interesting guy. Half-heartedly trying to warn Clark, or was he really there to gloat over Clark's imminent beating while pretending to himself that he was delivering a warning? Yay for Lois! She got rid of them. Here's hoping Clark manages to disabuse her of her misgivings. I won't be able to stand it if you drive a big wedge between them <g>. A small one is okay, though. Low-level doubts I can cope with. More, please! Yvonne
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 546
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 546 |
Well, I don't really know what to say, so I'll make it very simple.
I love your story, but the suspense is killing me.
What happened in Smallville ten years ago ?
More soon, please.
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 543
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 543 |
So Lois maimed two of the three thugs! And she recognized their voices! Then we have some clues.
I wonder if Simon Hunt will be limping the next day?
And now that Rachel is on the scene I wonder if she and Lois will talk.
My goodness! I have so many things to wonder about until the next installment.
gerry
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,293
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
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I'm back.  I was thinking about this story last night while waiting to drift off to sleep, and you know what? I was lying there trying to fill in the gap you left between Clark collapsing and then waking up at the motel - which was a fun exercise, but I came to the conclusion that I'd prefer to read the authentic version <g>. In particular, I'd like to know what Lois's reaction was when she saw her partner collapse - what did she think was wrong with him? How did she get him back to the motel? Did she consider summoning medical help? You allude to his concern that she could be off somewhere finding out God knows what about him, so does that mean he was completely unconscious from the time he collapses to the point at which he wakes up? And even if you don't fill in the gap, you could tell me more about her thoughts on what happened to him - either just after she's bopped off Clark's assailants or when she's sitting beside his bed in hospital waiting for him to wake up. Of course, I'd also like to know what Clark thought of the experience - what has he concluded about the rock that made him sick? Is he worried about what Lois made of his sudden collapse? What does he think she believes happened? Care to supply any answers to my questions? Please? Pretty please? Yvonne
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