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OP
Columnist
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 699 |
There are compensations for a bout of insomnia sometimes and being the first to post feedback is definitely one of them!
I love Clark being the one to save the day and Superman ruining the date. It's an excellent insight.
Great installment! But I want more!!!!!
Irene
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Good job, more soon. Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Yay! More story already! Keep this coming quickly, Susan!  Like Irene, this was my favourite line: Clark had saved the day, and Superman had ruined the night. That's a very clever reversal from the normal expectation that Superman saved the day - and it illustrates perfectly Clark's thoughts about how much Superman really is a part of him. And he's realised that the logical course is to tell Lois the truth... yet there's a strong hint in your (omniscient POV) final line that he's already run out of time. Oh dear...  Wendy
Just a fly-by! *waves*
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Jun 2003
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‘That’s not fair,’ a stern conscience chided him. ‘He’s real too, whether you want to believe that or not.’ I like this line because all too often us authors make Superman seem almost imaginary, like he exists in a dream. Way to wake up Clark and everyone reading.  More...like...now?  ~Lois Lane Wanna Be
"Live with intention.
Walk to the edge.
Listen Hard.
Practice wellness.
Play with abandon.
Laugh.
Choose with no regret.
Continue to learn.
Appreciate your friends.
Do what you love.
Live as if this is all there is."
~Mary Anne Radmacher
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Wendy and LoisLaneWannabe chose my favourite lines in this part. Clark had saved the day, and Superman had ruined the night. and ‘That’s not fair,’ a stern conscience chided him. ‘He’s real too, whether you want to believe that or not. ' I'm feeling a bit smug  since I've had the pleasure of beta-reading this lovely story. I can say that there are more lovely lines and novel insights to come. Great story, Susan. gerry
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Hi, Great piece. 
Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2003
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Maria wrote: Clark is going to chicken out.  You think? Or maybe Clark has more of a backbone than the show's writers sometimes gave him credit for. Maybe. Susan
You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Great phrasing again in here -- others have quoted most of my favorite bits already but I'll add this one: He needed Lois to overcome her emotional baggage, and he would do everything in his power to help her. Unfortunately, freezing breath was fairly useless in this situation. As was super strength. As was super speed. As was x-ray vision. As was the ability to fly. All too sadly true, but the repeated phrasing with each useless power was pretty funny  PJ
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Do love your writing style! And the bits others have pointed out, too. c
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Columnist
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Hi, Catching up with this story and commenting. Love the characterization in this story and the humour. In fact, I like everything about it and can't wait to read more. Yours Jenni
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Pulitzer
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Susan Another wonderful part! Tricia 
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Kerth
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Kerth
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I'm happy to read that so many of you are enjoying my writing style. Honestly, this is the first piece of creative writing that I've ever done, so it's very gratifying to learn that my phrasing and characterizations were effective. Susan
You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie.
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Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Jul 2004
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nice piece! i really like the part where clark svaes the day and superman ruins the night.. very clever
"Work while you have the light. You are responsible for the talent that has been entrusted to you."
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