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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 130
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 130 |
Okay, now we do have to admit.... Given super-vision and soul mates, odds are pretty good that if Lois saw Clark-as-Superman, Clark-as-Superman saw Lois.
So what in the WORLD is this idiot doing, blatantly taking a story she's covering??? He should give her a quote, help her get a good story, and let her remember something nice that he's done for her as Superman that day once he tells her. She's already mad at him for leaving, showing her that he "was working" isn't going to make her less mad.
Bah!
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,082
Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,082 |
Originally posted by archbish99:
Given super-vision and soul mates, odds are pretty good that if Lois saw Clark-as-Superman, Clark-as-Superman saw Lois. I appreciate your point. I personally don't like the idea that he should have a sort of radar that is constantly tuned in to her presence - it feels like an invasion of privacy to me. There's no doubt that if he looked for her, he would have found her, but in my mind there was no particular reason to look. He had a super job to do, finished it, and decided to make the best of the situation by doing his job for the Planet (as he usually does). He had no way of knowing that Perry had assigned the story to Lois. Thank you for sharing with me your perspective on the story. Perhaps the ideas I have in my head didn't quite translate on paper in the way I had intended. Susan
You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie. 
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,761
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,761 |
I LOVED it - and I totally agree with your reasoning, Susan  One tiny nitpick though - I think Lois was wearing heels, not heals Waiting eagerly for the next chapters! Anna.
What we've got here is failure to communicate...
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,082
Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,082 |
Originally posted by Anna B. the Greek:
One tiny nitpick though - I think Lois was wearing heels, not heals
Thanks, I caught it the first time, but not the second. I've fixed that now. Susan
You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie.
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363 |
Ooooh...that was an evil  thing to do!
I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058 |
Hmmm, the suit must come off for that, at least.’ Lois laughed at the mental image of Superman in a port-o-potty, tights around his ankles, flipping through a magazine. ROTFLMAO! Ok I loved that comment. You left us in an intersting place. Now I want to know what her reaction is. Also it would seem as if he didn't see her behind him in the quick change he did. It is about to get very intersting. More soon. Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2,992 |
Susan Another great part!  I'm enjoying this immensely. Tricia 
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 451
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 451 |
YAY!! She knows!! Assuming of course she doesn't start thinking the swirl of clothes means Superman leads a double life and she wonders who it is he *really* is, without connecting it to Clark. I mean, she's the best reporter and all, but she CAN be a lunkhead too He whipped around, and a shade of color drained from his face.
“No, Lois, this isn’t…”
“This isn’t the blatant betrayal it appears to be?” Lois was furious. I said it before, but I love the characterization! And Clark giving Lois his notes was adorable! He really wants back in her good graces. The line about telling him to go away when all she ever wanted was for him to stay was powerful and perfectly highlights her internal dilemmas.  Anyway, if she DOES put the pieces together to form the correct picture, then she knows, and YAY! YAY because... what will she do now??? more ~NICOLE
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644 |
Arrrgh.
Way too short.
Good Lois introspection, but I barely had time to get into it before the section ended. Very frustrating, and impairs my ability to get into the story. A section about twice this long would be better... Generally, I try to go for about six pages of my Word document -- which varies from person to person depending on font & margins, etc. But it's usually three or four scenes, at least.
PJ
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 364
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 364 |
OMG noooo!  ~Lois Lane Wanna Be (who will need someone to revive her in order to read the next two parts)
"Live with intention.
Walk to the edge.
Listen Hard.
Practice wellness.
Play with abandon.
Laugh.
Choose with no regret.
Continue to learn.
Appreciate your friends.
Do what you love.
Live as if this is all there is."
~Mary Anne Radmacher
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,082
Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,082 |
Originally posted by ChiefPam:
A section about twice this long would be better... Generally, I try to go for about six pages of my Word document PJ Thanks for that specific information. Putting the last two sections together will be about that long, so I'll do that with the end of the story, and will remember it for the future (if I ever do this again!). I'll end everyone's torture when I get back to Riverside on Monday. (My holiday "vacation" is being spent in San Diego, painting my mom's garage floor. Woo hoo!) Susan
You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie.
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great little part. ‘Go away? All I’ve ever really wanted was for him to stay.’ Her decision was made in an instant. She would make him talk to her now. Lois dashed after Clark and turned the corner as well.
In time to see a swirl of clothing and Superman rocketing into the sky.
Maria D. Ferdez.
---
Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,293 |
Ooh, nice cliffhanger! I can't help wondering what she might read in those notes, too <g>. Might he have slipped up and referred to "I" and "me" rather than "Superman"?
Yvonne
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 151
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 151 |
Another great part of the story.
Looking forward to part 5.
SNL
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 845
Features Writer
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Features Writer
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 845 |
awwww that is so mean of you! AND I LOVE IT!!! Post soon! MDL 
"Work while you have the light. You are responsible for the talent that has been entrusted to you."
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