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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 814
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 814 |
I'm flattered and honored by the comments that people have made. The subject matter may strike close to home for some people; it's a problem that affects large number of people. If anyone wants to e-mail me to discuss it, feel free. Just make sure that the name of the fic is in the title; I tend not to read e-mails from people I don't know (viruses and all that).
Thanks again for all the comments!
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Yet, somehow, she didn’t feel unsafe. Although she wasn’t the best judge of character in matters of the heart, Lois had a gut feeling that the Clark Kent she knew wasn’t the person who’d lived in Smallville ten years ago. Whew/ me sighs in relief. Lois had a very good mental logic session there. I love your portrayal of how her brain is working and glad she's staying on Clark's side. I gotta wonder what he and Rachel discussed, must have been heavy conversation. And Trask has the Globe...yikes  Looking forward to more!!  TEEEEEJ
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058 |
Shayne this was very depressing to read today. Maybe it is because I have a cold and feel in the need of something a little more hopeful. I hope it gets better for Clark soon. The poor guy is really having a hard time all around and it is not his fault. I hope Lois gives him a little more kindness then she has at this point. I am sure it is hard for her to imagine a 16/17 year old boy in a relationship with an adult as a victim, but he was a victim. He is still being victimized by everyone around him. It isn't fair and I would not mind at all if you send him my way for some comfort.  Lois seems to be lacking in this department. I hope she changes her thoughts and feelings about him soon. :p Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 111
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 111 |
Oh dear! More soon please. Powerful stuff all around. Excellent cliffhanger.
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363 |
I can't imagine how Clark must feel...all alone. Please make this all go away soon. 
I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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At least now the man didn't have any secrets left to reveal.  SNARK!! James
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Posts: 1,293
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
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Excellent, Shayne. You always do best when you explore complex social and/or psychological issues, and this is shaping up to be one of your classic fics.
Clark, I think, shows great courage in telling Lois these things. I know his defences are laid low by his injuries, and so it's more natural for him to want to confide in someone, but still - he's telling her a lot of very private, personal details that can't be easy for him to talk about. Well done, Clark, and well done, Shayne, for making this conversation so believable.
Lois is doing just fine. Of course she doesn't see things quite the way we do - we have the benefit of sitting on the outside of the story, whereas she's right in the middle of it. It's difficult to have 20/20 vision when you're distracted by so many things, including your own emotional baggage. She's getting there, though, which is exactly what I'd expect of her.
So will Clark make the final revelation to Lois now? Will he feel so exposed by Hunt's threats that he turns to her for help and support?
I can't wait to find out!
Yvonne
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Joined: Jul 2003
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 370 |
...catching up again... This is a FANTASTIC story!! I just read the last couple of parts and I'm totally blown away by your story telling. 
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Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great part.  So everyone knew, does that include the husband? Does the coach and Lilah still alive and living in Smallville?  Jess was the one who die or he die later? Simon Hunt was walking quickly across the parking lot. There was something familiar about his walk, which was precise and with a rigid posture. If she didn’t know better, she’d have thought he was in the military. She needs to investigated Hunt and tide him to all the mess and clear Clark. What happen to Kent's farm? Hunt pulled something from the pocket of his trench coat. Hunt was turned away from Lois, and she couldn’t see what it was.
“Where did you get that?” Clark asked in a strangled voice.
“It’s amazing what family will do when times get a little desperate.” Hunt grinned. “It worked for me the first time. I’ll bet you can make it work again.”
“That belonged to my parents,” Clark struggled to rise to his feet, then he froze. “It worked for you?”
“I know what you are, Mr. Kent. When I’m done, so will the rest of the world.” Hunt grinned. “How long do you think it will be before the government takes care of things in the name of national security.” I assume Hunt a.k.a. Trask is talking about the globe. I can't imagine the Kent's taken the globe to a pawnshop. “Haven’t you heard?” Hunt asked smugly. “The military pulled out this morning. So did the EPA.” Does this mean Trask's ex-partner is pulling out so he can proof that he was right? “Oh, my story hasn’t changed,” Hunt said, looking directly at Clark. “Just the source of my investigation.” Clark needs to tell Lois more and she needs to move faster. In part 12 All he could remember of the nightmare was the gleaming scalpel and the soulless eyes above a white mask, flashes of dissection tables and prison bars. It was the same dream that had recurred time and time again since the accident. Being forever locked away, being seen as less than an animal, less than human, of never being loved; this was every childhood fear in a single, terrifying dream. Was this a dream or a re-collections of something that happen when his parents die? More ASAP, please. MAF 
Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3 |
This is an extremely powerful story, well-told and well-structured. The characterizations are excellent, and even the supporting cast is deep. No one-dimensional cardboard cutouts here!
I'm struck by the contrast between Clark in the first few parts (cool, confident, under control, resourceful) and the Clark in Smallville (vulnerable, haunted, beaten, hated, helpless). Lois is her usual bulldozer self, but at least she's trying to understand how Clark got involved with all this garbage.
And I notice you haven't yet identified the murder victims. Hmm, I wonder who they might be? Were I a betting man, I'd wager that we'll be surprised again when their names are revealed.
I feel sorry for Rachel Harris. She has to be feeling a lot of the same things Clark is feeling, along with a deep, abiding sense of betrayal. Whatever happened couldn't have been good for her father's career, and no matter how rebellious she may have been, she obviously loved her dad and blames Clark for part of what happened to him. I get the sense that she doesn't know just how special Clark really is, and I'm not sure she could handle a revelation like that.
And isn't Clark hit pretty hard with this Kryptonite? A small dose usually doesn't lay him low for days as this one seems to have done. Or was it a bigger piece than I thought?
I'd almost forgotten about Trask. The paranoid psychopath is probably the biggest danger to Clark right now, unless it's Lois. We don't know which way she'll jump when she learns the truth, either.
I'm ready for the next part! This gets better every time I see a new post.
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2
Blogger
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Blogger
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2 |
Ditto what the others said! You have me hooked.  Oh... I would only ask you something... More please! Take care!
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