TO WAKE FROM DREAMS
PART 16
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“So when do we tell everyone about me being pregnant?” Lois asked quietly, looking up at Clark, as they exited the Daily Planet together.
He wrapped an arm around her. “You mean when do we tell the people who don’t already know?” he asked.
“What are you talking about? I didn’t tell anyone.”
“You didn’t have to. You weren’t drinking champagne and you got sick. And when we left the bathroom, Perry gave me a look that I can only call ‘knowing’.”
“He gave you a knowing look?” she asked, skeptically. “Based on *that*?” Then she thought about it for a moment. “And the fact that he didn’t become editor in chief of a major metropolitan newspaper because he knows how to yodel,” she added.
Clark laughed and pulled her closer to him, rubbing his hands up and down her arms as the wind blew gently, creating a light chill in the air.
“How are we going to explain that one? I mean we can’t exactly tell them that we made love during that sketchy, shady period in which you were in limbo chatting it up with Elvis,” she said, slickly.
“No, although Perry would enjoy hearing about that time, assuming I tell him that I put in a good word for him with the king.” They shared a quiet laugh and he looked down at her. “I guess we were so focused on bringing me back, we haven’t really discussed how to bring this part up yet. But, Lois, don’t worry about that now. One shocker at a time,” he said, which made her smile.
“It’s easy to say ‘don’t worry’, Clark.”
“It was one week after I’d been killed that you and I made love. So… it’ll probably end up being a story about you and I realizing our feelings for each other *before* that night in the club,” he said. “Right before,” he added. “One week really is not a big deal. Not like one month.”
“True… *Or*… maybe I’ll say someone else was the father! Someone big too, like Mel Gibson! Then they’ll just think that I spent the month in Hollywood. They’ve been wondering where I went all that time. We’ll kill two birds with one stone,” she said, looking up at him, trying not to smile and to seem genuine.
He looked down at her and stopped walking, staring into her eyes. He bent down and kissed her, lightly, causing her heart to beat just a little bit faster and her body to feel just a little bit more alive.
Easing into a relationship with Clark was just about the most natural thing in the world, to her. It didn’t take adjustment or getting used to. It just… it was right. It was the way it was meant to be for them, always.
“You know, I was never one for killing animals,” he said, pulling back. “So I say we leave our stones on the ground, let the birds live and go with the other option,” he finished.
“If you say so. It was a good idea, though,” she said, pouting again.
“And very believable,” he added.
Pouting and playful… a way she had not been since before all of this had started. Teasing and joking around were parts of her nature that Clark had brought out in her. Things were just more fun when he was around. More alive. More colorful and wonderful and perfect.
She could relish in his fun, feeling as giddy as a girl, and then kiss him a moment later feeling, well… quite grown up. And quite loved.
They began walking again, and a question that had been in her head all throughout the party came back.
“Clark, why did you enter as yourself? I thought we agreed that you’d come as Superman and explain everything and then show up as you. You know, so no one would have a heart attack or anything,” she added.
“I just thought, in the end… they deserved to hear it from me. It was almost a copout to tell them with the suit on. They deserved to hear it from their friend,” he said.
“It was a good decision,” she said, looking up at him. “That was nice of Perry to think of that cover story to print.”
He looked down at her, and she could see how touched he was, that Perry had done that. “He protected me. More than the juicy story or even the truth, he looked out for my best interest. I mean, he’s my friend and I guess it shouldn’t surprise me, but – “
“ – But you are used to people wanting the juicy story. Not giving a hoot about the best interest of those involved. This is Perry, though, Clark. And he wasn’t just protecting Superman, either. Do you think he wants everyone thinking that you didn’t deserve to be saved? That story we created walked a fine line and a lot of the people reading it might have been bitter about what happened. And that man thinks of you like you’re one of his own. It surprised me – what he said – but only at first. In the end, I understood exactly why he did it.”
“I’m starting to think Perry wouldn’t be a bad person to be in the know,” he said. “I’ve always trusted him as a friend, but that never changed the fact that he is an incredibly professional person. Loyal to the foundations this paper was built on. Truth prevailing. But… I know now that he would protect his friends under all circumstances and… it means a lot,” he finished. “But not right now. If I decide to tell him at all, it won’t be for a while yet. One person finding out this secret at a time. It’s all I can handle,” he said, touching her cheek, smiling.
“One more thing,” she said, as they continued walking on.
“What’s that?”
“Why didn’t *we* think of that story?”
They both laughed at that.
“Perry’s been at this a long time,” he finally said. “We are clearly amateurs.”
She laughed. “Henderson sounded happy to hear the news when we called him,” she said.
“I know. You know, I didn’t think he cared all that much about me. I know he was worried about you and glad to hear that you were alright now. But… he sees murders all the time. I guess… I didn’t realize that he considered me a friend.”
“Clark… you’ve had an impact on more lives than you could ever imagine. We’re all glad to have you back,” she said, rubbing his arm.
He smiled at that and they continued in silence for a moment, walking arm in arm down the empty streets of Metropolis.
Clark looked at her and laughed.
“What are you thinking?” he asked.
“Nothing,” she said, shrugging.
“I saw the look on your face… like you were obsessing… or mentally attacking someone. What is it?” he asked, smiling.
“Oh, nothing… it’s just…”
“What…”
“It’s not fair! Everyone at the party kept telling you how much they loved you and missed you and were so glad to have you back. Do you know what people kept saying to me? ‘Oh, Lois, I am so sorry for all the awful things I used to think about you. I really *am* glad you’re back now.’ Apparently, people thought I was some kind of reporting automaton. Until I reacted the way I did to your death, they didn’t even think I had a heart!”
Clark laughed. “Well, Lois, then they never *really* looked at you. You’ve got just about the biggest heart I’ve ever seen. And I love you for that,” he said. “And I also love you for your tendency to sometimes be a little reporting automaton,” he said, smiling again.
She smiled reluctantly at him.
“It was cute how Jimmy kept saying that he would see us tomorrow,” Lois said eventually, smiling up at him.
“Yeah. Tomorrow. A wonderful concept,” he said.
“I didn’t think it wise to tell Jimmy that tomorrow was Saturday,” Lois laughed, “since he was so excited and all.”
Clark smiled. “Speaking of tomorrow… I was thinking about going to Smallville. To tell my parents that it’s all worked out and… uh… would you like to come?” he asked. She could see that he was hoping she would, but didn’t want to presume.
“I’d love to,” she said. “Besides, I wouldn’t miss this for the world. How exactly are you going to tell them their first grandchild came to exist?”
“Well, I am sure they know all about the birds and the bees, Lois. We don’t really have to get into it,” he said, giving her a look.
She smiled. “You know what I mean.”
“I know. And I don’t know. I guess we’ll just play it by ear,” he said. “They’re going to be so excited, Lois. Not just because of the baby, but… because of you.”
She smiled. Having Jonathan and Martha Kent as grandparents to her baby – as *family* to her – would be a dream come true. She was elated at the thought.
“You know, I never realized how much I had before all of this,” Clark said, breaking into her thoughts. “I always had this secret, and it made my life complicated sometimes. But when this part of my life was taken away, I felt stupid that I ever got stressed about situations I’d been in before.”
“Well, I’m sure at the time they warranted your stress,” she pointed out.
“Yeah. But I’ve learned a lesson here, Lois. *I* may be invulnerable. But, when I created Superman, he took that part of my life over. When I’m *me*, I have to put it away. I have to push it back. Clark Kent is a man, and in that, he can be killed. Besides this part of my life is the only thing that makes the other part of my life bearable at times. I will not be so foolish as to let it go like that again. I don’t think I can count on a miracle recovery twice.”
“That is true. And to assist you in this goal, I’ll try not to get myself into a situation that puts you in that macho, bull-brained frame of mind.”
He looked at her like he knew better.
She smiled. Oh, perhaps he did.
But… she was having a baby now, she mused. And she had Clark. Clark, who she loved so much… so dearly. And one night long ago, everything changed. *She* changed. Life and the very idea of life had become so much more real to her and she knew what it was she was risking by being careless. And she *would* think twice before jumping in without checking the water level first. Heck, she’d even think three times…
She looked at the man standing beside her, his quiet strength emanating from him as he held her close. It was in the way he walked and talked and looked at her. Looked at the world. Loved her…
…Some things were more important.
“So,” he said quietly. “Have you given any thought to…” he trailed off, sounding a little embarrassed.
“To…” she urged.
“Baby names?”
He looked at her, a look on his face that told her he had no idea if she was comfortable discussing this with him.
She knew… he still felt horrible about the way everything had happened. While he was as happy as she was about being together and having a baby together, he was treading very lightly on the subject. Not sure where he stood with her on it.
“I’ve thought about it,” she admitted, slowly grinning. “Maybe Alexander or Rose,” she said.
He looked down, not saying anything and she laughed.
“What?” he said, looking back at her, a blank, but amused expression on his face.
“You don’t like those names,” she accused.
“No… no, it’s not that…” he started, but she looked at him knowingly. “Okay, I just didn’t picture those names. They’re fine names. I guess they wouldn’t be my first choice. But – “
“ – no buts, Clark. They’re off the list. I hadn’t gotten completely attached to them anyway. I mean, I’m sure the list will keep changing. And we’ll just have to keep discussing it.”
“We will?” he asked.
She smiled. He could be so cute and clueless sometimes.
“Well, Clark, of course. It’s a big deal. You go through life with the wrong name, and it could really mess everything up.” She squeezed his arm lightly. “Clark… we’re in this together.”
“I know, Lois. I will be here for anything. Everything. I just… I wasn’t exactly sure how much you wanted me there for. With the baby, I mean. And… I know you love me. I just wasn’t sure exactly where we stood on this… everything you’ve ever known has changed so fast.”
“Clark… this baby is yours and mine. Ours. Okay? And I want you around for it all. I mean it. When you’re not cleaning up after an earthquake and swallowing bombs, I want you changing diapers!”
He smiled.
“You know, the names Jake and Maggie came to me earlier today,” he said casually.
She smiled. “That’s… nice,” she said, trying to sound positive.
“You don’t like them,” he said, wrapping his arm around her more protectively, talking to her closely, intimately.
“I just didn’t picture those names. They’re fine names,” she said, enjoying this. Enjoying discussing this with him.
“Okay, so those names are off the list,” he said, a big smile on his face.
“There’s one other thing,” he said after a moment. At her look, he continued. “I told you yesterday that I would marry you in a heartbeat, Lois. And not because we’re having a baby. Just because I love you more than you could ever imagine. And you’re pregnant right now, and I’m not sure if you’ve thought about it or wanted to – “
“ – I have thought about it,” she admitted. “Why… are you… *proposing*?” she asked.
“No. But I will. Someday. You must know that,” he said.
“I guess I do know,” she said, wistfully. “And I guess you know what I’ll say.”
He smiled, a soft, quiet and caring smile.
“But, Clark, there’s no rush to make it happen before the baby is born. I want to enjoy all of this with you. If you’re asking if I feel uncomfortable being pregnant and unmarried, the answer is ‘no’. I love being on this adventure with you, and I don’t have to explain it to anyone. I want to marry you, Clark Kent. When it’s right. Not because you are the father. But because I love *you* more than you could ever imagine. And it could be tomorrow, or in a year… but I just want… need… to be with you. Always. That’s all I care about.”
Before his lips closed over hers, she saw it. The look. Like he was about to cry, he was so happy. Like he loved her so much and was grateful beyond measure that she felt the same way.
After a few – *heavenly* – moments, they continued walking, hand in hand, in a warm, companionable silence.
“What are we doing here?” Lois asked, when they finally approached her apartment.
“I said I would walk you home,” Clark said.
At his confused look, she looked down. “Right. I guess I should be here. I mean, I know I should be here…”
He bent down, catching her eyes with his, and smiled that smile that made her aware that she could tell him anything in the world. That he was her best friend and always would be. That he loved her more than anything.
“It’s just… when you said you’d walk me home, this wasn’t the place I pictured,” she admitted, kind of shyly, glancing quickly at the building. “I guess I haven’t really considered this place home in awhile.”
“Oh,” he said. “You want to go to my place? You know you are always welcome.”
“No, not your place. I mean, not necessarily,” she added.
“Oh. I’m sorry, Lois. I’m not following.”
“You.”
“Me?” he asked. He was clearly still not following.
“You know how they say ‘home is where the heart is’? Oh, I know it sounds stupid,” she explained in a rush, seeing a look of realization finally flicker over his features. And a look that melted her heart. “It’s just… wherever *you* are, Clark. When you were gone, it was your place because it was as close as I could get to you. But now… I guess it doesn’t matter where it is,” she said, shrugging. “You probably think I’m crazy right about now,” she said, laughing, tears in her eyes.
“I know exactly what you mean, actually,” he said.
She looked up at him, curiously.
“I used to run around the world, Lois. Before you ever knew me. Kind of like I did for these past weeks. I’d run. Run away. Hide. I kind of figured my life would be like that forever, because there were things about me that I didn’t want anyone to know. And if it got too close, I had to keep going. I liked Metropolis when I came here. I liked it right away. I liked the Daily Planet and Perry. But when I met you,” he said, his voice dropping suddenly to a whisper, as his gaze penetrated hers, “I knew I was home. I just had to find a way to stay. All I knew was that wherever you were, that was where I had to be.”
She went to him wordlessly, resting her head against his chest, listening to his heart beat. He wrapped his strong arms around her, pulling his coat around her as well, until she was encompassed by it… blanketed in his warmth.
She couldn’t bear to be away from him. Since he’d returned the day before, they’d been together the whole time. They talked. Mostly she would ask him questions about past events, knowing now that many events in her past took on a new light due to his secret. And they shared. She would let him in on how she had felt while he was gone. About her many realizations where he was concerned. About how she had known she would miss him for the rest of her life. How it was unbearable. And he would tell her how lost he was without his life… because being without his life, he was without her. They kissed. And eventually, late last night, she fell asleep in the comfort of his arms.
She couldn’t let him go. It just couldn’t be like it was before; him seeing her home and then the two of them going their separate ways. She couldn’t just turn and enter her apartment.
In his arms…
He bent his head and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. She smiled warmly and snuggled closer to him.
… it was where she belonged.
“Come with me,” he whispered, suddenly.
Not breaking their contact, he placed his hand in hers and pulled her with him, around the corner from her apartment building and into an alley. He looked around very cautiously and then spun into Superman.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“Flying…”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
From the time he learned to fly as a teen, Clark realized that flying constantly took on different meanings for him in his life. It often meant loneliness; the sky was a lonely place to be, especially for a man so different from everyone else. At times it meant freedom. There were no limitations in those lonely skies. No boundaries. There was no judgment. And there was a sense that a man so different from the world was special because he could fly… and nothing could beat that feeling that only *he* could really feel. At times it meant escape. If something was too hard to deal with or if he saw something he just wanted to forget, he could take to the skies and escape to a place where he could think. Or forget. Or hide.
He could see a deserted island.
He could fly away in the dark of night and still find a sunset somewhere that he could watch… and see the beauty of the world again.
He could see an exotic land.
Or a place so essentially different from everything he knew that he could distract himself from all of it. From all he knew. From all that was sometimes too hard to think about.
But on this night – his return to life – in arms with the woman he loved more than life itself… it meant home.
For both of them.
It was a quiet, intimate thing they could only share together, which brought with it feelings that could never be put into words.
It was acceptance.
She accepted him for everything he was. Everything he had once been so afraid he would never be accepted for.
It was love.
Her arms wrapped around his neck, pressed tightly against him, while looking in awe at the beauty below, he could feel her heart beating. His heart beat in rhythm with it… and it brought back memories from the last time their hearts had joined in a sweet dance and rhythm together.
She had been right when she’d said they had been drawn together that night by instinct. By love. Listening to their hearts beat now, he recalled in complete clarity that feeling. That moment. That beat. In the dark of night, their hearts had seen what they could not.
Flying with Lois… being with Lois… *Lois*…
…was home.
And he felt something in his heart – something *wonderful* – as he realized that she felt the same way about him. She had said so. And… he could feel it.
“This is beautiful,” she said, quietly.
He agreed, but said nothing, just listening to the wind and their hearts.
He finally allowed himself to feel happy – elated – about his life. Their lives! He had been happy about the baby immediately. But he had still felt guilt about the way it had been conceived. About what he had put her through and how she had learned the truth. But as she opened her heart to him more and more everyday and he *saw* her feelings… he realized it was okay. He wasn’t a monster. He was in love with her. And she was just as in love with him. This was all a dream come true.
She was flying with *him*, and they were in love and having a baby.
He looked down at her, in his arms, her trust in him, holding him tightly and warmly, her body pressed against his… and he wanted to make love to her again. To be aware of it each step of the way and do it right. Properly. To show her and tell her everything… and to hold her forever.
She finally looked at him. “I’ve flown in your arms before, but… knowing that it’s *you*, Clark, now… I can’t describe it,” she said.
“You don’t have to,” he said, knowing exactly how she felt.
“Clark… “ she said, her voice unsteady. Emotional. Her breathing became a little heavier, her heart beating a little faster, her eyes searching his. “Do you feel the way I feel? Right now, I mean?” she asked, searching his eyes for the answer.
He realized she must have found it there, in his eyes, because before he could assure her that if what she felt was a pure, unconditional, beautiful love, then they felt exactly the same way, her lips found his.
He had never kissed anyone while flying and was afraid, given the feelings he was experiencing, that he would drop them both down from the heavens they were in, crashing them back to reality. But, one look and he realized that he was instinctively taking them back… taking them home. To his home. No – he thought – to *their* home now.
When they landed on the balcony, Lois pulled back from him and looked around.
Worried for a moment that she would misread what he’d done, he smiled at her. “I will hold you all night, like last night. We can do that forever, Lois. I just want to be with you.”
And he meant that. He knew how he felt. And that he desperately wanted to act on those feelings. But he wasn’t sure how she felt. He was not sure what she was ready for yet. And he would not act on anything until he was sure. He knew she was incredibly comfortable with him and didn’t want to risk losing that for anything in the world.
She looked around. “No one’s around. Quick. Change back,” she whispered.
Granting her wish, he became Clark again, clad in his dress suit from the party.
She stared at him, her mouth falling open a little, her eyes seeming just a little darker. She took a step forward, towards him.
“I don’t know if I told you how amazing you looked tonight,” she said, placing a hand on his chest, her voice still unsteady. Heavy with emotion and… something else.
She slowly stood on her toes and kissed him again, wrapping her arms around his neck.
Scooping her up, he entered the apartment, closing the door behind him swiftly, not breaking the kiss for a moment.
Seconds later, he was lying her down on the bed, carefully, continuing to kiss her passionately. But so gently.
“Make love to me, Clark,” she whispered, as he kissed her throat. Her ear. Her cheeks. And then he found her mouth again.
“Are you sure?” he asked, finally, forcing himself to pull back for a moment to ask.
“I want to remember everything this time. I want to see you. I want to know it’s real in the moment. That you’re real. That I’m real. I want… to love you, Clark. I’ve never been more sure of anything,” she said, pulling him slowly back to her.
He began to kiss her again, needing no more invitation.
For all he wanted, too… was just to love her.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Lois awoke in the same bed she had been waking up in for almost two months and what seemed like a lifetime.
Yesterday morning she had awoken in the arms of the man she loved. She’d fallen asleep in those arms. And he’d been there in the morning.
She looked around the bedroom.
Gone. He was gone.
And suddenly she felt panicked.
Had it all been a dream? Had he never been there to begin with?
She put on a bathrobe, trying to remain calm. But the more she thought about it, the more she feared it was all a dream. That he had come back. That they were starting a family together. That they had made beautiful, sweet love the night before… and it had felt so real her body could still feel everything now, just thinking about it...
“Oh no, oh no, oh no,” she started, looking around. “Clark?”
“Right here,” a voice said, sweetly.
The most wonderful voice in the world.
He peeked into the bedroom and smiled at her.
She saw that he was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. He looked so comfortable and so perfect.
“Sorry, I had to go out early this morning. You know,” he explained, making a quick flying motion with his hand.
She smiled, feeling silly for having feared the worst.
“Oh! I actually have to run out again, can you believe it? Hey, would you mind making the bed?” he asked, before disappearing again.
She laughed.
“Guess I’ll have to get used to this,” she thought to herself.
She found it strange that he wanted her to make the bed. Normally, he didn’t care about things like that. He’d never normally ask her to clean up anything at his place. She also found it strange, she thought, as she walked toward the bed, that he hadn’t come in to give her a kiss.
“Well, he might’ve if he hadn’t been called away,” she reasoned with herself.
She picked up her pillow, preparing to throw it on the ground so she could start making the bed, when she saw it.
The box.
A tiny box made of black velvet.
She felt something wonderful tighten in her stomach, as tears formed in her eyes. She picked up the box and turned around, knowing…
And there he was. Standing in the doorway. The sweetest smile on his face.
He walked in until he stood before her.
“*Now* I’m proposing,” he said, his voice a deep whisper.
He took the box out of her hand, and bent down onto one knee.
She smiled, tears falling from her eyes.
He opened the box, which held in it the most beautiful ring she had ever seen.
“Lois Lane, will you – “
“ – Yes!”
“ – marry me…”
In a moment, he was standing again, kissing her intensely, wrapping her tightly in his arms.
“I love you.”
“I love you.”
It was all either of them could seem to say between passion-filled kisses.
Finally Lois pulled back.
“How did you… I mean it’s only seven in the morning! How did you buy a ring so early?”
“It’s not this early everywhere,” he said, blushing.
She smiled and touched his face. “If this is a dream, I hope I never wake up.”
He kissed her again and carried her to the bed, laying her down.
“It’s real, Lois,” he said, placing the ring on her finger, as she looked up at him.
He kissed her hand, his lips brushing the ring – the symbol of their love for each other.
“You know… I was just going to make this bed,” she said, a sly smile on her face.
He kissed her. “Why don’t we wait…” He kissed her again. “And we’ll make it together…” He kissed her once more. “… later.”
And then he kissed her again. And didn’t stop.
And she knew… this was better… it was *all* better… than any dream could ever be.
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*THE END*
