MY BEST FRIEND'S WEDDING
PART 2
She was drunk. And nothing was right. She was getting married in a day and the only person at her bachelorette party was her *mother*! Even her sister hadn’t shown up. She had even stooped so low as to invite Cat. She’d left her a message.
She really didn’t have any girlfriends.
She looked at her mother. This was it.
“Honey, I really think you should stop now.”
“I don’t want to stop. I want another drink,” she said, half to her mother and half to the bartender.
“Believe me, Lois, I know the words ‘I want another drink’. I almost think I invented them. But… you’ve had enough! You are getting married tomorrow and this is no way to behave! You’re going to be positively sick the whole day!”
“Mom… I am having another drink. I’m fine!” Lois said, growing increasingly more frustrated with her mother as the seconds ticked on.
She didn’t want to see her anymore. She had spent the last day with her, having her dress fitted and going over makeup and jewelry choices. She was done with her mother!
Her mother was annoying her!
Her mother didn’t know how to calm her nerves, either; that was for sure. She didn’t know how to deal with her. Kind of like Lex. Every time he tried to “help”, he just made her more nervous about everything.
And she was getting married to him… tomorrow!
It was positively…
“Clark?” Lois said, tiredly, to no one in particular, not believing her eyes.
Clark had just walked into the bar. He was smiling. Talking to someone.
A blonde someone!
Something started hurting in her stomach and she immediately assumed it had to do with the drink she had just downed. As the bartender placed a new one in front of her, she looked at him in shock.
“Are you crazy? I can’t have another drink!”
She clutched at her stomach and scooted off her stool, walking toward her ex-partner.
Such a good friend…
He was coming to her wedding tomorrow…
“Lois,” he said, when he saw her walking over. He moved to grab her as she stumbled on something. “You’ve been drinking,” he said quietly, his lovely smile from before now gone.
Replaced with another look she always loved.
That best friend look. Like he cared. *Really* cared.
“It’s a bar, Clark. Of course I’ve been drinking. What were you going to do here? Have some milk and cookies?”
“Rachel wanted to see a lively city bar,” gesturing to the blonde next to him. “It’s her first time in Metropolis, so I – “
“ – Rachel,” Lois said, looking at her, finally, seeing that she was waving, a small smile on her face.
“I met you!” Lois said, smiling at Rachel. “In Smallville! You’re the cop! No, sheriff!”
“That’s right. Nice to see you again, Lois. And… congratulations,” Rachel said.
Lois looked her up and down noticeably. Rachel was a fish out of water. A country bumpkin in a city bar. Dressed in a denim dress with shoes that were at least three seasons out of style.
“So… Rachel… what do you think of this *lively* city bar?” Lois asked, animatedly, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
“Lois,” Clark said, a serious expression on his face.
“What? Clark, relax, I’m just curious. Is this like any of the bars in Smallville?” she asked, trying to sound more innocent. More genuinely interested.
“No,” Clark and Rachel answered together.
“Lois, if you’ll excuse us – “ Clark started.
“Real nice, Lois, leaving your mother to pay a fifty dollar tab while you stumble away,” her mother said, walking up to the group. “Well… aren’t you going to introduce me?”
Lois rolled her eyes. “Mom, Clark, Clark, Mom. Mom, Rachel, Rachel, Mom,” she said, in a bored tone, still looking at Rachel.
“Clark Kent?”
“Yeah, uh, hi, Mrs. Lane. It’s nice to meet you,” Clark said, shaking her hand, a kind smile on his face.
Lois smiled, feeling relieved suddenly. Something about when Clark smiled…
“I hate being called Mrs. Lane. Makes me feel like I’m still married. Call me, Ellen, please. So… you’re coming to the wedding tomorrow?”
“Uh, yeah. Rachel and I,” Clark said, smiling briefly – reassuringly, it seemed – at Rachel.
And Lois’s smile disappeared.
“You’re taking a date to the wedding?” she asked, looking crestfallen. Her mind a confused mess.
“I assumed it was okay,” Clark said. “Usually when you go to a wedding, you bring a date. Why did you think Rachel was here one day before your wedding?”
“I don’t know… where is she staying tonight?” Lois asked, tilting her head, her eyebrows furrowed intensely, her thoughts sort of running all over the place, and coming out of her mouth without the usual screening of them.
“At my place,” Clark said, in a tone that seemed to say ‘what does it matter?’ “Lois, are you alright?”
“She had a few too many. I tried to get her to stop, but, I guess I’m not exactly someone she would take seriously on this one matter,” her mother said lightly.
Ignoring her mother, Lois looked at Rachel. “It’s my bachelorette party right now. And, well, you’re a bachelorette. Why don’t you come to the bar and we’ll toast, I don’t know, me or something.”
“Lois, I don’t think – “
“Clark, it’s alright,” Rachel said, touching his arm briefly. “One drink with the bride to be and then we’ll head out of here, what do you say?” Rachel said.
When she touched his arm, Lois started thinking that maybe she shouldn’t have another drink. Her stomach had started doing that flip-floppy thing again. It had to be the alcohol. Surely. She really should stop drinking.
Clark nodded at Rachel. “Okay, sure. It’s *your* first time in Metropolis, so… whatever you want.”
Lois grabbed Rachel’s hand, excitedly, and pulled her away from Clark, and toward the bar, throwing a look over her shoulder at Clark. She noticed as they walked away, watching him standing there, that black was a great color for him. A really great color. He kind of looked handsome in black.
And gray…
And that pinkish-salmon color that his t-shirt was that morning at the honeymoon suite…
There were lots of colors that looked good on him.
Whose hand was she holding?! Rachel… there was Rachel. Rachel… Harris! Looking around in wonder at the lively city bar as Lois pulled her forward.
And there was Clark behind, watching them with a look on his face. A look she had seen before… She didn’t like it too much. Why couldn’t he just smile? He should smile all the time. It was always better when Clark smiled…
But he looked away, as her mother began to surely talk his ear off.
“So, Lois… are you nervous?”
Huh? “What?” she asked.
“My friend Linda got married about five months ago and the night before… she sure was nervous,” Rachel said, sitting down on a stool.
“So when did Clark ask you to come to the wedding? And how did he ask you?”
Rachel looked thrown for a moment, but recovered pretty quickly. “Well he didn’t get down on one knee or anything like that. He just kind of came to my old farm.”
“Your old farm? Tell me about this old farm. How often does Clark… visit you… at the old farm?”
Rachel looked at her like she had about fifty heads, but then watched Lois sipping her drink from her straw, a curious and very drunk look on her face and she shrugged. “He and I used to always play over there as kids, in the pastures. Hide and seek mostly. He was always better at hiding. It was never very fair, either, because he could get into places I never could get into! I am not sure how he did that! He hasn’t really come there in a few years. Christmas, actually, he visited to say hello. But other than that, it’s been awhile. It sure was a nice surprise, him asking me to this wedding. It’s nice to be able to see him again. *Really* see him. Not just a casual, quick visit – “
“ – what do you mean, *really* see him?” Lois asked, before placing her lips around the straw again, sipping away at her drink, waiting for her answer.
* * *
Clark sat down at a table, while Ellen went into the restroom, and looked discreetly at Lois and Rachel. He was glad Rachel was in town. Showing her around had taken his mind off of everything, and her genuine enthusiasm for seeing ‘the big city’, as she called it, was great. It reminded him of how he had felt when he’d first come to Metropolis.
It hadn’t been that long ago, actually, that he had been the small town boy in the big city. The fish out of water. He had walked into the Daily Planet a little more than nine months ago, young and intelligent, motivated and passionate… but incredibly naïve and a little too dependent on his childhood hopes and dreams. His romantic views on life.
Then came Lois.
He watched her now, chewing her straw, listening to Rachel tell some story, watching her intently, and something in his chest began to ache.
Lois had been the reason he had survived in Metropolis. She had taken him under her wing… after much persuasion from Perry… and forced him to develop a harder skin, all the while showing him that she did like him as he was. Letting him know in subtle ways that she didn’t want him to *change*, that it was the way he was that allowed them to become such good friends at all. And he had always appreciated that. It had always made him feel so special when he thought that she accepted him for what he was, even if she didn’t know just *how* different he really was.
She had inspired the creation of Superman, and inspired the hero in general as well, when things became tough. He actually owed her a lot… this woman who was causing him such pain at the moment.
The woman that he loved…
He had fallen in love with her so quickly. And in his mind, he had thought it would all work out. In his naïve romantic mind. While he had learned some things quickly and adapted himself to the harder ways of Metropolis, somehow his incurably romantic spirit has remained constant. He had hoped that she would eventually see through the disguise. See *him*. And love him…
She loved a part of him. But not the core of him. Not the heart and soul. Not the part of him that loved her. That part she couldn’t see. That part she didn’t love.
He was happy to have Rachel around to take his mind off what he had to endure the following day. He was also happy to have an old friend around, to reminisce with about better times. About being young and hopeful. Talking with her, he was reminded of who he was growing up. He had been a boy who wanted to change the world. He’d felt different as a child and often scared because of it. But when he thought about his childhood, what he remembered most were not those feelings of being scared and being different. He remembered being ambitious. Daring to dream. He remembered being hopelessly romantic, knowing that someday he would find the one… and it would be great when it happened. She would love him unconditionally. And accept him for all the many things about him that set him apart from everyone else.
Maybe he had dared to dream just a little too big…
“Clark! Why are you sitting in a corner! I told you I had to redo all my makeup! You should have gone to talk with Lois and uh… what’s-her-name.”
“Rachel. And they seemed to be deep in conversation. I didn’t want to intrude,” he said to Ellen, when she walked back over.
“Clark from everything I can gather and the way you are both acting, I have to ask… are you and Lois still… friends?” Ellen asked, taking a seat and looking at him intensely.
“Sure,” he said, not feeling sure of that fact at all, suddenly.
He had agreed to go to this stupid wedding to salvage a friendship that he now realized may have already been thrown too far away to ever get it back. But he had to go now. He had told Lois he would, for one thing. He still loved her; he didn’t want her life to be ruined – for her to alone – because her best friend had let her down in a big way. But… she was letting him down too! Didn’t that matter?!
He put a hand through his hair.
Plus… he had Rachel here now. She was here for this wedding. He couldn’t just not go. He’d inconvenienced someone who had nothing to do with this entire mess.
He looked up when he realized that Ellen Lane was talking again.
“What happened with you two? Lois used to talk about you all the time and I could tell you were her best friend and then suddenly, I don’t know. I would say your name and she’d change the subject. And then she wasn’t sure you would come to the wedding at all. I’m glad you are going.”
“If you don’t mind, I’d really rather not talk about the wedding,” Clark said, resignedly, looking down.
“I just don’t get it!” she said, throwing her hands in the air. He looked up at her. “You know… you’re good for her. She’s been nicer to me this whole year than she has ever been to me in her entire life. You’ve affected her. She’s let go of a lot of the issues she had growing up. A lot of the issues she still had a few months ago. She’s let a lot of them go and the rest that she still has… they don’t rule her like they used to. I can hear that. I can see it! I just don’t understand… did she *do* something to upset you? Did she ruin this friendship? I know she hasn’t kept all of her friends over the years. She’s never been the perfect friend, at that. I know it. But… with you, I know she cared far more… that she would do whatever she had to do to keep you in her life. She loves you, Clark. I could always hear it in the way she talked about you. What happened?”
“It’s a long story, Mrs. Lane. Ellen. And it’s not my place to discuss it with you. Lois and I have a complicated relationship. And I don’t exactly approve of her marrying… *him*. But, that’s all I’ll say. There’s more, but honestly, I can’t even talk about it right now. And I just want to get out of here,” he said, looking around, suddenly feeling claustrophobic.
He felt bad. Here was Lois’s mother and it was his first time meeting her! Some first impression he was making. He had practically told her to shut up twice! But… she was making it so painful. As if it weren’t bad enough that the one bar he had decided to enter on this night, the eve of what was to surely be the worst day of his life, Lois would be there, drinking – celebrating the farewell to her old life and her entrance into her new life with his enemy.
He looked at Ellen. She looked a little bit like Lois. She was a pretty woman, but he could see that years of drinking had had a bit of an effect on how she had aged. But nonetheless, he could tell she had probably been quite beautiful in her day. He could see that Lois had gotten her intense, brown, soulful eyes from her. They were practically the same, except whatever it was that made Lois’s eyes separate had the power to completely captivate him. Lois’s eyes had something extra – something special – that he had never seen in another set of eyes. Even ones that looked almost exactly like hers.
He looked at Ellen again, his mental comparison of the mother and daughter continuing as she talked more about how Lois would never find another friend like him. He smiled. She was certainly stubborn like Lois, not dropping this issue even after his many pleas. And she seemed to be able to joke about her own shortcomings lightly, but he could also see that she, like Lois, had issues that she was constantly battling. Constantly trying to control and work through.
He turned to look at Lois. She was still talking to Rachel. Rachel was laughing, looking carefree as ever and Lois… even though this was supposed to be a celebration and even though she had thoroughly and constantly convinced him that she wanted to marry Lex Luthor… she just didn’t look happy. And at this point, that was the only thing he really wanted anymore. For her to do whatever she had to do to be happy.
* * *
“… so Lana had decided she *had* to go to the prom with the sure-fire Prom King, Sam Thompkins. And she broke up with Clark to do it. Honestly? He didn’t seem all that upset. I had thought they were in love or something, but I don’t think he ever thought that about Lana. He just… liked her. Enough to date her for a bit. But when he came over my house… now I was voted shyest in the class and not too many people really knew me… although Clark did; we’d been friends and played together for years and he was always great to me, even once he was a popular kid… when he asked me if I wanted to go to the prom, well I just about died! I was happy. To go to the prom at all, and with a good friend who was just a nice guy! And a popular kid! And, let’s face it, a looker! I was ecstatic… Oh! And – “
As Rachel went on and on, Lois began to regret having drilled her so much about her and Clark. Because now the details were just making her sad. And she couldn’t even figure out why! Yet every time Rachel wrapped up a rant, she found herself asking more questions. Did she want to torture herself? Something about the answers was making her insane… yet she kept asking the questions! But now… something about hearing of Clark asking this girl to the prom… something about the certainty, the instinct, deep down that told her that this girl still had it bad for Clark… it was just making something inside of her sink.
She turned and looked at her ex-partner. He had been staring at her and Rachel with a look on his face that tore at her heart. It was the same look she had seen on his face when she’d turned him down in the park.
And there was her mother, going on and on, about god-knows-what. Talking his ear off!
But then… he turned to her mother and smiled the kindest smile. The kind of smile that only Clark Kent was capable of. It showed his character and how genuinely good he was. No one else could ever smile like that. She was sure of it. Just then, when he smiled, it felt like everyone else in the bar had gone silent and slowly faded until it was just her and him… and he was smiling. Happy. Everything was as it should be. His smile was the most wonderful thing. She never craved seeing anyone’s smile the way she craved… longed… always to see his.
“I am excited for the wedding! I mean, I kind of hope it’ll be like the prom. We had a lot of fun at the prom! He was such a good date…”
Lois lowered her lashes, hoping the tears that she suddenly realized were in her eyes would not have the indecency to fall.
Date…
Rachel… this Rachel Harris!... was talking about dating Clark. Past… and present.
Clark was dating. He was bringing a date to the wedding.
She sighed, aggravated at herself. Of *course* he was dating! He was young and handsome and he would make someone incredibly happy. Had she supposed he’d just be completely unattached all his life? Did she think that he would never change from the boy scout she had been introduced to all those months ago? The man she had met and become such good friends with had been single the whole time she’d known him. And okay, he had given *her* quite a lot of attention, from special looks to all of his free time, whenever she wanted or needed to hang out…
But he wouldn’t be like that forever!
Of course not!
Had she expected he would?!
How could she have voiced that thought before about him bringing a date to the wedding. Of course he’d bring a date to the wedding! Weddings were date-worthy occasions. The most date-worthy occasion there was, come to think of it!
And soon, Clark might be getting married… and then she’d be at *his* wedding with her date. Husband! With her… husband.
She looked up at Rachel.
Would it be her? Rachel Harris? Would she someday be Rachel Kent?
Oh, the alcohol! Her stomach was doing strange things again! Turning and feeling just awful! Something in one of her drinks just was not agreeing with her! At moments, she felt positively sick to her stomach. Nauseous. Anxious.
Rachel was still talking, smiling as she told some Smallville story.
Lois smiled a sad smile. Rachel was pretty; she had to admit it. Not a sophisticated pretty. More like a really cute kind of pretty. But pretty nonetheless. And blonde! Her blonde hair fell a little below her shoulders and without that sheriff’s hat hair… it looked really nice. She looked really nice. She had some makeup on. Her hair curled a bit, like she had styled it that way. And she was kind… she had an incredibly kind smile. An incredibly kind nature that you could just sense, sitting there, talking with her.
Just like Clark…
If they did start dating, he’d probably move back to Smallville. After all, with the Planet gone, what reason would he have to stay in Metropolis? No, he’d move away. Go back to where he had come from – back to that place that had shaped him into the incredible person that he was, the place that was such an essential part of him. Then he’d be living in his quaint, small town, living a Leave It to Beaver lifestyle. He’d be happy, of course, because he loved Smallville. Dating someone from back home was probably exactly what he wanted. Marrying someone back home…
She looked at Rachel again. She had made fun of her mentally before, for wearing a denim dress to a Metropolis bar. It was so out of style and so country bumpkin… but just now… it seemed endearing. Kind of naïve. Cute.
Which was probably exactly what Clark thought too. After all, he’d been kind of protective of Rachel when Lois first saw her and launched into her drunken sarcastic assault on the poor girl.
She sighed, remembering.
Oh, Clark…
They’d be a nice couple, surely. The kind of couple that would be great to be around. Two happy, kind people together… it didn’t get better than that, did it?
And if this date tomorrow turned out well for them, maybe…
Or if later tonight, after these drinks, they are sitting at his apartment talking innocently enough, but then…
“Lois… are you okay?”
She looked at Rachel’s concerned expression.
“Stupid drinks! I don’t want anymore,” she said, kind of lamely.
“Well, okay… here,” Rachel said, pulling the drink away from Lois and giving the glass to the bartender.
“Thanks,” Lois said, looking down.
“Hey, you ready?”
Lois jumped at the sound of Clark’s voice. She hadn’t seen him or her mother move. But there they were. He was talking to Rachel. Looking at Rachel.
He didn’t even glance her way!
But… he wasn’t being rude either. If he wasn’t looking at Rachel, he was staring down. Her body and her mind were screaming at him to look at her. To look into her eyes. To notice her. To pull her away and talk with her!
Talk about what, though! She wondered furiously. What could she possibly want to talk to him about when everything that ever needed to be said between them had been said already. He had told her his feelings and she had turned him down and waited a gracious two seconds before telling him basically who she *did* love, who was actually worth her time! Would they talk about that? No… Then what? Would they talk about their argument at Perry’s retirement party? No. Please, no. It had been awful. She wanted – needed – to forget. So… what? Would they talk about her impending wedding to a man she was well-aware he hated or the fact that she groveled at his feet to get him to agree to come? Would they talk about his impending possible romance with his date to that wedding, which somewhere in the recesses of her mind she could admit was making her sick!
She groaned, placing her head in her hands on the bar top. What kind of friend was she!? She didn’t want him, but she didn’t want anyone else to have him!? Why couldn’t she be even half the friend he was? Why!
She heard the others talking quietly. She could feel someone’s hand rubbing her back soothingly and she had to assume that it was Rachel’s. She could hear Rachel saying that she had been complaining about the alcohol a moment before they’d walked over. She could hear her mother saying she had told her to stop a long time ago. To not drink anymore.
But their voices didn’t matter.
Her heart flipped over when she heard his voice, though.
“Ellen, why don’t I get a taxi for the two of you. I really think she should go home. Maybe get her a cup of coffee and have her take a shower before she goes to bed. It’ll make her feel better…”
She began to cry silently.
She would never have a friend like this. Not ever again.
And… she’d all but ruined it. She had stooped so low, asking him to come to this wedding. She couldn’t even be happy for him, that he was finding romance since she had turned him down. She’d… she’d turned him down. Clark Kent. And she still expected – and okay, hoped – that he would go on loving her. She didn’t even realize she was that shallow, that low… that bad a friend… until he showed up tonight with a prospect on his arm. Someone he could love instead of her. Someone *he* could marry… But… instead of being happy for him and hoping for the best for him – the normal reaction for a best friend who claimed not to be in love with you back – she felt sick. She desperately wanted him to be… hers? No one’s? She just was not sure… The room was spinning and nothing made sense. Why couldn’t she do it? Why couldn’t she be Clark Kent’s best friend? He was hers!
He was…
… not hers anymore.
At all.
“Okay, Rachel, let’s go get a taxi,” she heard her mother say and when she looked up hopefully, she saw that her mother had abandoned her so she was alone with Clark. She was struck with the thought that sometimes, her mother knew just what she needed. Sometimes she was a pretty good mother.
She looked at Clark, thoughts of her mother moving to the back of her mind as more important thoughts brought themselves back. Brought themselves to the forefront of her mind.
He was looking after her mother and Rachel, a strange look on his face, before he hesitatingly turned to her.
And the tortured expression she had seen earlier on his face was gone. His anger was gone. He just looked… concerned.
Deeply concerned.
“Lois… what’s wrong?”
“It’s over. It’s all over,” she cried.
“What is?” he asked, gently.
He was such a gentle – and strong – person.
“This. Us. It is, isn’t it?” she asked.
He sighed. He looked away for a moment, but then grabbed a napkin from the bar top and handed it to her.
“Lois… I want to be your friend. I’m going tomorrow. I… I don’t know what else you want from me. This… it’s not easy.”
She nodded pathetically, wiping her eyes with the napkin. “I know. And I’m so completely selfish for asking you to come. When you walked away from me that day, I knew it, too. But did I call you? Did I tell you to forget it, not to come, that I understood why it just… it wouldn’t work? No. I didn’t. Because I thought about myself. And *I* didn’t want to lose you. *I* needed you. But, oh… I’ve lost you anyway. And now… with Rachel…”
“What about Rachel?” he asked.
“Oh, Clark. Your date. I mean, you’re dating. You and Rachel. You’ll probably move back to Smallville and maybe get married. I know she’d be a great girlfriend. Wife. Whatever! God, Clark. It’s the day before my wedding and I’m obsessing about you possibly having feelings for her.”
He waited a moment. “Are you… jealous? Is that what this is?”
He didn’t sound angry or accusing… he sounded baffled, if anything.
“No. I don’t think so. I don’t know! I just…”
“… you don’t want me. But you don’t want anyone else to have me,” he finished, putting his hands in his pockets, nodding like he’d made up his mind and that must be it. And how far off was he? she wondered to herself. She had thought that same thing only moments ago. “You know, I think your taxi is probably here, Lois,” he said, now sounding angry. “I think you should go. Sober up. Feel better. After all, you’re getting married tomorrow.”
He turned, ready to walk away.
Forever…
“Clark, no! Please! Look at me. Please, Clark, look at me!” she cried. She begged.
He turned slowly and when his eyes finally met hers, she gasped.
Oh the pain she had caused him.
“Clark… no one in my life has ever mattered to me like you do. And no one ever will. And I… I don’t know what to do here. I’ve never felt this torn. I just never thought consciously that maybe I cared for you… like that.”
He took a step toward her.
“Because you don’t care for me like that. You want Superman. And if you can’t have him, Lex will do. And you want me on the sidelines; your biggest fan. And the second you think I might be putting my attention somewhere else, you want it back. Not so you can return the feelings. Just so you can have your fan back. If I’m not feeding your ego, it takes a hit. You need me. You need that attention from me, rather. I am to long for you my entire life from the sidelines, never looking at anyone else! Always be there for you no matter what! No matter how I feel about it. Then all is right in the world. Right?”
“You can’t honestly think that, Clark. You know you mean more to me than that. You are my best friend. Not some Lois Lane groupie. You know that!”
“Do I, Lois? I’m sorry… I guess you haven’t made that message crystal clear. Or maybe I am completely dense.”
“I am sick to death of this, Clark. Of us fighting. I am not sure what’s going on in my head. And I’m sorry. I can see that I’ve hurt you. More than once. More than I ever could have imagined in my worst nightmares. But… you have to know how much I care for you, how much I love you. You have to know it, Clark! Can’t you see it?”
He sighed and looked down.
She placed both hands on his face, forcing him to once again look into her eyes. She stood up.
“Tell me I haven’t lost you, Clark.”
“What do you want from me?” he asked, instead of assuring her that he was, in fact, still there. Still, somehow… hers. Her friend! Her friend… just her friend…
“I…”
She trailed off. She had no idea what she wanted from him. Part of her wanted to concede that he was right. That she wanted him to never look at another woman, but just remain her very best friend.
Her… “biggest fan”… No…
She looked into his eyes. His beautiful eyes, completely tinged with pain. A pain only she had caused.
“I think we both know that I can’t give you what you want, Lois,” he said, softly. “Just like you can’t give me what I want. And we might still want this friendship to work anyway. But… can’t you see now that maybe it can’t survive this?”
He sounded so defeated. Kind of lost.
“No,” she said, not wanting to face that awful prospect. It just couldn’t end. Not now. Not ever…
She wanted to reach up and hug him. To just hold him dear and tell him that she would become sane soon and they could begin to heal and make things between them right again. To tell him not to give up. But at the last possible moment, she touched her lips to his instead. Tears slipped down her cheeks at the touch, which was charged but innocent – the kiss embodied their mutual feelings of loss and desperation. And love. But it was quick. A mere few seconds after her lips brushed his, she pulled away, shocked that she had done that.
He stared into her eyes for a few moments more, conflicting emotions dancing across his expression. He placed two shaky hands on her arms, and pulled them off of him, not letting go immediately.
“Goodbye, Lois,” he said, his voice quivering.
He walked away and this time she didn’t force him to return by calling out to him or begging once more for something from him.
She lowered herself back onto the barstool, wondering what she had done. Why she had done it.
But before she could think too much, her mother was there once more, holding out an arm.
Ready to take her home.
