~ Bidding for Attention ~
“Why do I always do this to myself?”
In time with his frustrated yell, Clark brought his fist down on the countertop, then groaned as he saw the fist-sized hole which resulted. Oh well. That meant yet another trip to Home Depot. He really was going to have to stop taking out his frustrations on his apartment.
It was all his own fault, anyway. If he was feeling invisible, it was only what his own actions had led to. Superman’s primary colours dazzled, while Clark Kent faded into the background in charcoal grey. Yes, there was such a thing as an invisible man, and he was it.
Lois couldn’t see Clark for staring at Superman. He’d known that - known it right from the first time he spoke to her as Clark after his debut.
It wasn’t so hard to understand, of course. After all, he’d swept her off her feet - literally. He’d appeared in front of her, saved her life and the lives of dozens of others, saved the space program and then flown her back to the Planet. The feats of a demi-god, at least, or a superhero from a Hollywood movie. And, in the movies, didn’t the heroine always swoon at the feet of the big, strong hero who saved the day? Clark Gable, John Wayne, Cary Grant, Errol Flynn; all larger-than-life heroes with beautiful women sighing for their attention.
Who noticed Ralph Bellamy when Cary Grant was on their screen? Not Rosalind Russell, that was for sure.
Okay, so Lois overlooking Clark in her awe over Superman was understandable. What was definitely not easy to understand was why he kept making it easier for her. Why he kept shooting himself in the foot.
It wasn’t enough that he’d singled her out for his first interview as Superman, giving her the exclusive on his origins. It wasn’t enough that he revealed that he knew her name. Oh, no. He had to tell her, leaving no room for doubt as to his meaning, that she didn’t have to bid for his attention. And, as if his words hadn’t been clear enough, he’d looked at her. Gazed at her, almost as doe-eyed as she’d been looking at him.
And then, as if he hadn’t already dug a deep enough hole for himself, he’d told her that she would always be special to him. If he hadn’t stopped himself, amended what he was going to say, before he’d finished his next sentence, who knew what would have happened?
You’re the first person who ever -
Ever what? He knew she’d wanted to ask. He could tell that she hadn’t bought the ‘interviewed me’ he’d lamely added after a few moments. It had been sheer good fortune that Alan Morris had interrupted them.
You’ll always be special to me, Lois.
What an idiot he was! What a stupid, dumb, knuckleheaded moron!
And yet he hadn’t been able to help himself. He’d wanted to make her smile again. He’d wanted to wipe out the hurt he’d seen on her face the previous evening when she’d thought that she was nothing more than a face in the crowd from the perspective of the man she believed herself in love with.
And, if he were honest, he liked knowing that Lois loved him. Even if it was only part of him. Even if she wasn’t in love with the real him.
He craved the attention Lois gave him when he was in the Suit, because he never got it when he was Clark. So, like a besotted fool, he was encouraging her in her Superman crush, despite the way it made him feel when she trampled over him as Clark yet again.
Like earlier. When she’d dismissed him as Clark yet again. Making it clear that she didn’t take his input seriously, that she - as always - was right. Reinforcing his status as the real invisible man in her life.
He’d got to hold her close to his heart a couple of hours earlier, as Superman, and he’d thought that was worth any torture. Now he knew it wasn’t.
Well, that was it. As of now, he wasn’t going to let it happen again. Ever.
He was through with giving her any encouragement as Superman. From now on, Superman’s dealings with Lois Lane would be strictly business. Her infatuation would soon wear off once she saw that he wasn’t responding.
Then maybe, just maybe, she’d stop being so dazzled that she couldn’t se what - or rather, who - was right under her nose.
**********
It wasn’t working.
It has been almost three weeks now. As Superman, he’d snubbed or avoided Lois every chance he got - well, apart from the times when she’d got herself into the usual trouble and he’d had to save her life. Though, to his chagrin, on one of those occasions Lex Luthor had got there before him. He’d had to suffer the humiliation of watching Lois gaze at that insufferable phoney and thank him for saving her.
He’d almost broken his resolve there and then and swept Lois off her feet. Only the reminder of what it felt like to be invisible had stopped him.
Over the same period, he’d been making strenuous efforts to make her see him differently as Clark. To stop her not seeing him. At first, things had seemed to be going his way - Perry had teamed them up as partners on a story, a wonderful move from Clark’s point of view. It meant that Lois had no option but to work with him, to talk to him, to listen to him. They got to spend long hours together. And, finally, he seemed to be getting to know her. She’d actually confided in him about her father, and she’d seemed to welcome the comfort he’d offered her after one awkward encounter with Dr Sam Lane.
But then the Toasters and the Taylors had come along, and his old habit of shooting himself in the foot had resurfaced. It wasn’t enough that he’d made the mistake of muscling in on her story. He should have known, of course, that Lois would be angry at any suggestion that she couldn’t look after herself. And he should have found another, more discreet, way of keeping an eye on her. But he’d compounded his error by, first, blowing her cover - something that could have got him fired - and, second, humiliating her.
He was lucky that she hadn’t tried to get him fired. He was lucky, too, that she was still even speaking to him. Only the fact that he’d offered to leave his name off the byline for their subsequent front-page story, plus follow-ups, had mollified her - it seemed to have convinced her that he hadn’t been trying to steal her story.
Now, they were getting along better again, helped by the fact that he’d set aside his scruples and lifted a crucial piece of evidence in their investigation of the Mentamide formula. But it wasn’t enough. It still felt as if she still didn’t trust him, let alone like him.
And now, he was sitting in the almost-deserted newsroom, listening to her extolling Superman’s virtues once again. The heroic acts he’d performed. The lives he’d saved. His gentleness and courtesy. The brilliance of his smile. The magnificence of his physique. The magical way it felt to fly with him.
It didn’t seem to matter that Superman had barely spoken to her for weeks. She understood. “After all,” she was saying, “He’s busy. Someone else probably needs him. That’s why he flies off so quickly. And anyway, he wouldn’t want to show his feelings for me in public. That could be dangerous. It’ll happen, I know. When things calm down, when the time is right, he’ll come to me.”
“He will?” Unable to resist the sarcasm, Clark curled his lip as he spoke.
Lois ignored his tone - or perhaps she hadn’t even noticed it. “Of course he will. Clark, he told me that I’m special to him! He wouldn’t have said that unless he meant it. Unless he intended to follow through.” She sighed, her gaze drifting to the large window on the other side of the newsroom. “He’s out there somewhere. Saving people, of course. But when he has time, we’ll be together. I know it.”
Clark sighed too. Had all his efforts over the last weeks been useless? Was Lois really incapable of realising when she’d been... what? Dumped? Couldn’t she take a hint? He thought he’d been pretty obvious about it.
Clearly nowhere near obvious enough.
But then, something else she’d said came back to him. Superman was courteous. Kind. Gentle. He was considerate. Evidently, then, too nice to get the message across as loudly and clearly as Lois needed.
That was the problem. Superman was a nice guy. It wasn’t as if he was the kind of guy who’d be cruel to a woman when he was trying to end a relationship, even a relationship which had never really existed. He wasn’t a jerk.
He sat up slowly, his breathing stilling. That was it. That was the solution.
There was only one way to stop Lois swooning over Superman. Superman would have to be a jerk.
***********
“Hey, babe.”
Lois whirled around, almost dropping her car keys in the process. Superman! He’d come.
Of course, she’d known he would, but... well, it had been more than three weeks, after all. And, even despite the confidence she’d shown talking to Clark, she’d begun to doubt.
She should never have doubted him. If only Clark could see her now!
Superman was hovering a few inches off the ground, which increased the difference in their heights. She liked that, though. He was a hero. He was her hero. It was right that she should feel small beside his impressive frame.
He’d called her ‘babe’, though. She’d have to talk to him about that - explain to him that she didn’t like it. She was sure he’d understand. Maybe his last girlfriend had liked it or something. Maybe it was considered romantic on Krypton.
“Pleased to see me?” he asked, and she found her voice.
“It’s wonderful to see you! I’ve missed you,” she added softly.
He shrugged in a careless gesture. “Oh, you know how it is. Busy, busy, busy. But I’m here now.”
He was. Okay, she’d intended to spend the evening catching up with laundry and paying bills, but that could wait.
She smiled shyly at him. “I can see that. Well, you want to come up?” She gestured towards the door of her apartment building.
He moved. And suddenly she was lying over his shoulder, her legs dangling down his back, one of his hands clamped firmly over her butt. She was staring straight down at the sidewalk below, which was rapidly falling away from them.
She gulped. Then forced herself to take a deep breath.
“Or... uh... okay, we could do this... whatever this is...”
His hand patted her bottom. “There won’t be any interruptions at my place.”
His place? Well, that sounded good. That sounded very good. He’d been so secretive as long as she’d known him. Now he was trusting her enough to take her to his home.
She really was special to him.
Okay, the caveman behaviour wasn’t making her feel very special, but that was something they could talk about too. He probably just didn’t know how Earth women liked to be treated. Or, for all she knew, maybe he was just teasing her. Having a little fun. They’d laugh about it together once they got to his place.
Wherever his place was...
Where would someone like Superman live? A house? An apartment? Somewhere in the middle of the city, or out in the suburbs? Or in the countryside, even? She couldn’t quite imagine him as one of thousands of apartment-dwellers, taking the trash downstairs once a week, doing laundry, ordering take-out. Somehow, that just didn’t seem very... Super.
And yet he had to live somewhere.
What was the appropriate sort of home for a superhero? A castle, perhaps, hewn out of rock in the mountains upstate? With hand-carved furniture, and Kryptonian objets d’art displayed in recesses he’d dug out of the granite himself?
Fanciful, Lois. He probably just had a cabin in the woods. That had to be it - they were flying away from the city, from what she could tell. Up ahead, there were far fewer lights and the usual signs of city life seemed to be absent - no fast-food restaurants or billboards advertising the latest must-have electronic device.
Superman had ignored her the whole journey. She’d have thought that he’d forgotten about her, except that every so often he would squeeze her butt. By the third time he did it, she was itching to slap his hand away.
This was Superman! The man she loved. Why was she experiencing this overpowering desire to tell him what a lout he was being?
It would be okay. She repeated that silently to herself like a mantra. Once they were on solid ground again, once they were inside his home, they could talk. She could explain tactfully how she preferred to be treated - how decent Earthmen tended to treat the women they loved. And he would be suitably apologetic and he’d promise never to do it again. After all, it wasn’t as if he didn’t know how to behave at all. He just obviously had some problems getting the hang of this relationship thing. Maybe he’d watched too many episodes of Tarzan, King of the Jungle.
She stifled a giggle. There really was an air of “Me Tarzan, you Jane” about this whole thing.
“We’re almost here.” His voice cut into her thoughts. He still sounded kind of... odd. Different. Less polite, more forceful.
That was good news, though. She was getting very stiff through being bent over his shoulder. She wished he’d just carried her in his arms the way he usually did. In fact, she should have suggested it once they’d got airborne.
Lifting her head, she tried to squint through the darkness to see where they were, but all she could make out were shadows. Rocks, possibly. And trees. A gust of wind blew suddenly as Superman dipped sharply downwards, and she shivered. At the same time, a wave of vertigo washed over her. The way he was flying, he’d almost tipped her upside down.
She groaned. Instead of the concerned enquiry she expected, he grunted, “I told you, we’re almost there.”
It was a relief when she felt him touch ground. Yet she still couldn’t see anything that even began to resemble a home. He walked unerringly ahead, though, towards what looked like pure blackness. And then they grew closer and she could make out sheer rock face, with a jagged gap several feet from the ground. Superman began to float, and in seconds he’d landed them inside what was obviously a cave.
A cold, damp, smelly cave.
He lowered her to her feet with no trace of gentleness. She shivered again and looked around as her eyes gradually became accustomed to the darkness. And then there was light - he’d lit a candle standing on a wooden stump in a corner.
This really was just a cave. Yet it looked like it was also Superman’s home. A spare Spandex suit was thrown over a tree-branch which leaned against the back of the cave. Some branches, moss and other debris she didn’t care to identify too closely had been used to create a bed - over which a blanket had been thrown.
A mock-fur leopardskin blanket.
Lois wanted to gag. Superman had that bad taste?
“Look, um, maybe my place would - ”
Be more comfortable, she’d wanted to say. But she didn’t get the chance. Superman had hauled her into his arms and his mouth descended onto hers, cutting off her words.
Cutting off her breath, too.
Did the man have the first idea of how to kiss?
God... his lips were wet and rubbery and rough. There wasn’t an ounce of gentleness in him, not in the way his arms formed steel bands around her or his lips were crushing hers. Bruising her, she was sure.
And she’d actually wanted Superman to kiss her! Had dreamed of being in his arms!
The man was a brute. A savage.
And she was out here in a cave in the middle of nowhere with him! She didn’t even have an escape-route. The cave itself was at least ten feet off the ground, and the ground itself was rocky and uneven. If she jumped, she’d be lucky to escape without broken bones.
Her heart began to beat faster, fear thumping against her chest. What did he expect from her? Was he going to...
Oh god. He wasn’t expecting sex, was he?
Because... if he was... she couldn’t exactly fight him, could she? He was far, far too strong for her. As it was, she was struggling to tear her mouth away from his, but he wasn’t letting her.
Finally, his head jerked back. And she gasped, dragging in air.
“Sorry, babe.” He released her suddenly. “Someone needs me. I have to go. But don’t worry, I’ll be back. Gotta finish what we started, don’t we?” And he actually smirked.
This was no Superman she recognised. And yet it was indisputably him. He’d flown them here, after all.
And... what? Was he planning on leaving her here? In this damp, freezing-cold cave? While he disappeared off for god only knew how long?
He was striding to the edge of the cave. Just in time, she found her voice.
“Sup... Superman!”
He turned to face her. “Yeah, babe?”
“Don’t leave me here!”
“Huh?” He frowned. “I won’t be long. Or - well, I guess I don’t know how long I’ll be, but I’ll come back as soon as I can. Don’t worry, babe, I won’t forget about you.”
“That’s... that’s not what I mean.” She was shivering now. “It’s cold here. And damp. Can’t you take me home? Or at least drop me off somewhere where I can make my own way home?”
His expression darkened. “You don’t want to be with me?”
No! Of course not! You’re a jerk who hasn’t a clue how to treat a woman!
Not a sensible thing to say. Not to a man who was strong enough to snap her in two with his little finger. “Of c- course I do! It’s just... it’s a lot more comfortable at my place. Maybe I could see you there when you’re finished?”
Not that she wanted to. She never wanted to lay eyes on him again. But she wasn't going to tell him that now. Oh no. Once she was safely home, away from this godforsaken place, she'd find a way to dump him. Tactfully, if possible. She'd have to make him understand that she'd changed her mind. She didn't want a relationship with him any more.
In fact, hell would freeze over before she'd willingly come within six feet of the Man of Steel in future!
He seemed to relax at her suggestion. “Okay. So long as we don’t have to sit on those couches of yours.” He walked back to her, then caught hold of her and threw her over his shoulder again. “I guess I have time to take you back to your place.”
Oh god, what a relief!
Lois clutched his shoulder, squeezing her eyelids shut in an effort not to let the tears fall. Her hero wasn’t a hero after all. In fact, quite the opposite.
Superman was the biggest jerk she’d ever known.
*********
...tbc
