~Part 2~
After a few days of vigilant rounds shared between her and Tess, Lois went to the Planet for a few hours, trying to concentrate on something other than trying to reach Clark.
Tess told her it would do her some good to get out of Watchtower, to try to focus on something else.
Lois thought what Tess was really saying was that they should give up, or at least prepare themselves for the idea that eventually they might have to give up.
Lois wouldn’t give up on Clark, but she agreed that a break at the Planet might do her some good.
Except not a single story was able to hold her interest.
There were no big fish to fry at the moment.
Ray Sacks, the corrupt DA, was in prison, along with Bruno Mannheim.
Toy Man was taken care of.
Along with a long list of others… mostly thanks to the Blur.
For a moment, Lois was chilled at the thought of not only what would happen to her if Clark never returned, but to the city. Metropolis was beginning to depend on the Blur, and his absence could start a surge of crime…
Lois quickly pushed that dark thought away. She had to believe they’d find their way back…
Clark was a part of her. Part of her work life, part of her home life – part of her heart.
Simply put, she wasn’t whole without him.
Enough. I have to get out of here.
Lois shut down her computer and headed out of the bullpen. She didn’t want to head back to Watchtower, knowing that Tess would just lecture her on needing to get away. But she did have a whole apartment full of boxes that needed unpacking.
Because Clark would come back.
And he’d have a home, ready and waiting for him.
Motivated now with a way to focus her energy, Lois left the Planet to go back to the apartment.
Once there, she blasted some Whitesnake, and looked around for the first box she’d tackle. She thought it would be an easy decision. Just dig in. But should she start with her stuff or Clark’s?
If she started with her things, then the apartment would start to feel like hers, but truly absent of Clark. That thought scared her enough that she decided to start with a box of Clark’s things, even if it was a bit painful. She knew that seeing his things around the place would help to keep his presence around her, and would give her strength.
'Part of us merging our lives together is taking the time to find the right spot for everything,’ Lois remembered saying.
Her heart clenched in bittersweet memory at the thought of Clark’s response; ‘All I know is my perfect spot is here with you.’
“Then find a way back to me, Smallville,” she mumbled to herself with a sigh, taking his box of books over to the bookshelf.
She began setting them up, not recognizing half the titles, thinking they must have sat on the shelves of the barn since he was a kid. Their dusty covers certainly would attest to that. She took a cloth and lovingly dusted the books off before organizing them on the new shelf. Towards the bottom of the box, she came across Clark’s Tom Sawyer book, the one that held the key to the Fortress.
“Jor-El,” she said aloud, as an idea came to her. “He created that death trap. Maybe he has some answers.”
Unpacking suddenly forgotten, Lois grabbed her car keys and popped out the Whitesnake CD to take with her to listen to in the car.
She now had a mission.
~L&C~
Lois had been tempted to break speed limits on the way out of the city, getting more excited by the moment at the thought of talking to Jor-El. She was convinced he’d be able to tell her at least if Clark was all right, and hopefully, would even have a way for him to get back to Earth.
It was almost five by the time she made it to the Kawatche caves. She had an hour before she was supposed to be back at Watchtower, and she wasn’t sure if she’d make it.
She sent a text to Tess before heading into the caves, knowing that if she called, Tess would tell her not to mess with the Fortress.
“Going to see Jor-El, hoping for answers. Be back ASAP.”
Having faced Jor-El several times now, Lois was less nervous about this foray into the ice castle than previous ones. Still, she got a thrill of fear as she dropped in the transportation disc, and suddenly felt the unearthly light of the Fortress appear all around her.
Within moments, she was standing in the ice cave. Every time she went, she seemed to forget how cold it was there, and despite her parka, she was shivering.
“Jor-El?” she called to the hallow structure around her. “It’s Lois Lane. I’m her about Cl—Kal-El.”
The Fortress remained silent for a long time, and Lois wondered if Clark’s dad was being temperamental or perhaps was somehow affected by Clark being on another plane of existence.
“Jor-El? Please, answer me! Is Kal-El okay? Is he—alive?” she cried out a bit desperately to the alien crystalline walls, the cold wind howling through its spires.
“Kal-El is in the Phantom Zone,” echoed a voice finally, from above her somewhere.
“I could have told you that,” she murmured.
“What is it you wish of me, Lois Lane?”
“I need to know if Kal-El is all right. Is he alive?” she cried, her fears reverberating in the crystals around her.
Again, Jor-El was silent for a long moment. “Kal-El lives.”
Lois released a breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding. Knowing that Clark was alive was almost enough. “Can you bring him back?”
“The blood of the House of El will return Kal-El to Earth. He seeks the crystal.”
“Can you see him?” Lois asked incredulously, wondering how Jor-El knew this.
“No, but I can know what is off-balance. The crystal is not where it should be. Kal-El must be looking for it, and that is why he has not returned.”
Lois smiled, hope pouring through her. “Then everything might be all right?”
“Only if Kal-El finds the crystal. He needs it to return to Earth. Without it, he is doomed to remain in the Phantom Zone.”
“He will find it. I have faith in him.”
“Indeed you do, Lois Lane. Kal-El has a greater destiny and will do what he can to return back to Earth.”
“I’m counting on it,” Lois said quietly, wondering what her role in his destiny could be. Would her love be enough, would she matter enough to bring Clark back to Earth?
He had left without telling her of his plan, making her feel less than part of the team. Would he care if he knew what his absence was doing to her?
“You too have a role to play in Kal-El’s life,” Jor-El added, and Lois wondered if the alien computer could somehow read her thoughts.
“But will I hold him back?” she said after a moment, voicing her greatest fear.
“Only if you do not stand by his side. That decision you have to make together.”
That cryptic statement sent chills through Lois. Clark had left her behind, he hadn’t let her stand with him. Yet, another memory tugged at her heart, giving her some comfort. Before she had understood who Clark really was, the Helmet of Nabu had said, “You are the one he will need. He is the one you will need. The savior, the one who will heal us all. The sentient power.”
She already knew she needed him.
You are the one he will need.
She had to trust that he needed her as well.
She knew Clark had a great destiny – and she had to believe that she would be a part of it.
~L&C~
“Lois, I needed to be at the Planet an hour ago! What were you thinking, going to the Fortress?” Tess chastened Lois as soon as she stepped into Watchtower.
“I had to go, Tess. Jor-El said that Clark is alive. That’s all that matters. And he will make his way back, I know he will.”
Momentarily surprised by this news, Tess stared at Lois a second before asking, “Then why are they still there?”
“Some crystal that Clark needs in order to return is missing. Jor-El said he is looking for it.”
“Well, that’s good news, I suppose… but that still doesn’t tell us anything about Oliver,” Tess said grimly.
“Look, we know our heroes, don’t we? I’m sure they’re doing everything they can to look after each other. We just need to have a little faith.”
“It sure seems the trip to the ice fortress did you quite a lot of good then,” Tess noted with just a hint of her old sarcasm.
Lois just smiled back, “Absolutely. If Jor-El says Clark is okay, then I can trust it. It’s not a matter of if he’ll be back, it’s a matter of when.”
“And just how long are you willing to wait, Lois?” Tess couldn’t seem to resist asking.
Lois glared at her. “Don’t push me, Tess. You know the answer to that.”
“Fine. Watchtower’s all yours, anytime day or night,” Tess conceded. ”But I need you to try and come back to work, at least part of the day.”
“Does that mean you admit I’m a valuable asset to the Planet?” Lois grinned.
Tess rolled her eyes, “Yes. Are you happy? Cat Grant won’t do the nitty gritty work that needs to get done sometimes,” Tess admitted. “All’s quiet on the front for now, but Lois, you know as much as I do that with Oliver and Clark gone, it won’t be long before the criminal element tries to take advantage.”
Lois nodded, setting out her survival bag as she prepared to camp out for the evening in front of the monitor. “I know… I realized that too. I’m actually a little worried about how quiet it’s been… there wasn’t a story to be had this afternoon.”
Tess agreed grimly. “I hate to say it, but Metropolis isn’t Metropolis without crime. We’ll conference with the Team tomorrow, and see what they say.”
“And in the meantime?”
“In the meantime, we try to reach Clark and Oliver. We stay vigilant, and we keep it a secret that they’re missing.”
~L&C~
Over the next several days, Lois and Tess established a routine where Lois stayed in Watchtower overnight, Tess took over in the morning, and Lois spent a few hours at the Planet in the afternoon.
Lois found a story about a CEO who was involved in some sex scandal, but she only worked on it to distract herself from the empty desk in the bullpen.
Staff had started asking about Clark Kent, and Tess had said to say he was on assignment somewhere.
But it didn’t stop Lois from imagining her life going on like this, without Clark…
How long until he came back?
Weeks?
Months?
Years?
It had already been over twelve days, and there was hardly any sign of him. They still got some random feedback from the communicators, which would always bring a surge of hope, but nothing that indicated speech or gave any proof at all that they were still alive and trying to come home.
Lois simply had to trust in Jor-El, that Clark was alive and that he’d do everything in his power to come back.
Lois just hoped that it would be soon…
~L&C~
In the evenings, during the few hours before Lois would head back to Watchtower at midnight, Lois started the sometimes-painful task of unpacking.
At first, she had thought that she’d just unpack a few boxes, wanting to honor her idea that they should work out together where everything should go. But after the utilitarian things were unpacked, she needed something to do, and the other boxes kept staring at her…
Eventually, she started in with the more personal boxes. She alternated, and did one of hers and one of Clark’s each night. She considered unpacking her boxes the warm-up, easy memories that she could handle. Then she would have one beer, and tackle Clark’s boxes. Each of which seemed to hold something that would bring tears to her eyes…
His high school letterman jacket.
His family photo album.
His astronomy books.
So, she started talking to him, aloud. She knew it was silly, but it helped get her through. She’d ask him about where he’d want something, and then joke when she knew he’d want it somewhere else. She’d share the secrets of her heart with him, like how much it had meant to her how his family had welcomed her into the Kent household so long ago.
She reminisced about their past, and mused about their future.
She imagined him coming back any day, and worried that she’d be an old woman by the time he returned.
She pondered growing old with him and having children.
She saw herself holding onto his memories no matter what, and him appearing a year from now.
…or ten years from now.
She laughed at unpacking his Elmer Fudd night light, and imagined how it would bring comfort to their child, if they ever have one.
She played the mixed Whitesnake CD she had made for him while under red kryptonite, and she sang every word, telling Clark in between headbanging and tears how much she loved and missed him.
After a few hours of unpacking, soul-searching and heartbreak, she’d grab the Whitesnake pillow and her favorite picture of her and Clark. She’d look around at the progress she’d made unpacking, and feel a tiny bit better. And always as she turned out the lights and locked the door, she’d whisper earnestly to the apartment.
“See you tomorrow, Smallville.”
~L&C~
The planner called her at work, four days before the wedding.
The wedding.
How could she have forgotten the wedding?
“Hello, Miss Lane. We haven’t heard from you in over two weeks. Is everything still on as planned?”
Lois felt frozen in her desk, the reality of a missing groom slamming her in the chest. If she canceled the wedding, it would mean admitting that Clark wasn’t returning. It would be admitting defeat.
And postponing indefinitely? Wasn’t that tantamount to the same thing?
“Miss Lane?” the organizer prodded.
“Uh, sorry. Yes. Yes, everything is on as scheduled… sorry, just been so—um, hectic, you know? Yes, the wedding is on,” she said firmly, feeling her heart clench in her chest. He has to come back.
“Great!” The planner went on, listing a bunch of final arrangements like when the flowers would arrive at the church, and details about catering and pictures.
Lois let tears silently fall as the planner went on, not really listening. She just held onto that one thought over and over— He has to come back.
“Miss Lane? Are you listening?”
Lois wiped her cheek and cleared her throat. “Yes, sorry. I’m here.”
“Good. Okay, you have my number. Let me know if you have any last minute questions. We’ll see you on the big day!”
“Thanks.”
Lois hung up the phone, absently wandering over to her new window that had a view overlooking the city. She could spot Watchtower across the way.
She thought of the many sleepless nights she had spent, waiting for Clark, hoping for any sign of him…
She thought of the apartment that was nearly unpacked now. Full of Clark and yet completely empty of him…
Was she being foolish? Should she have canceled or at the very least delayed the wedding?
“I can’t,” she whispered fiercely. Perhaps to Clark or perhaps to whatever greater power out there that might be listening. “I have to believe that he’ll be back… Clark and I will get married on Sunday. He has to come back…”
~L&C~
The last straw came two days later when she picked up her wedding dress with its final alterations.
She had held on, plastering on a smile as the dress tailor wished her luck and congratulated her on her big day. Lois held it together even in the car, the dress swinging happily on its hook in the back seat, not knowing that its fate was so uncertain.
She made it into the apartment, even into their bedroom, where she hung the dress on the door of her closet.
It wasn’t until she was getting ready for bed, to sleep for at least a few hours before she would head back into Watchtower like she had every night for the last three weeks, that it hit her. It wasn’t until she was brushing her teeth and she accidentally knocked her hand into Clark’s toothbrush that she lost it.
Tears streamed down her cheeks. She spit out the toothpaste and went to his closet, needing something to wear that would make her feel close to him, to believe he would come back to her.
God, how she wanted to feel his arms wrapped around her.
She needed to tuck her head into the crook of his neck, into that place where she just fit perfectly into his embrace.
Hot tears were streaming now, and she let them fall, frustrated and angry. Angry, because he had done this to her, had not told her what he had been planning.
Hurt that even after all they had been through, he hadn’t seen it fit to tell her what was going on. He had left her, completely alone without a word of explanation.
But if she could see him again—she knew she’d forgive it all.
She spotted a blue and white flannel shirt and she laughed a little through her tears. She hated those flannel shirts of his, yet they were such a part of him. They represented his life on the farm, the goodness of the Kents, the honesty of hard work. Feeling slightly foolish, she took it off the hanger and breathed in its scent deeply, hoping to catch a whiff of whatever it was that was Clark…
She shed her t-shirt and put on his flannel instead, hugging herself through the tears, not caring how silly she seemed.
“Clark… you have to come back,” she said brokenly.
She spotted one last box in the living room. She had meant to open it last night, but hadn’t the courage, thinking that opening that last box would signify the end of something. That maybe it would mean she’d have to give up, that maybe Clark wasn’t returning or simply couldn’t.
But there was something else in the box that she knew would give her comfort. She walked over to it, and dug out Old Blue, the Russian glass bird that her mother had given her.
Lois’ own words suddenly came back to her. “Being a hero’s wife, means never accepting defeat.” She wasn’t defeated. This separation wouldn’t defeat them. She had to believe that somehow, someway, Clark would return to her.
That miraculously, he’d somehow return before the wedding.
Her mother wouldn’t have given up, and neither would Lois.
Lois took Old Blue to put it by the window where it could look out… and be the symbol of hope that she needed.
As Lois set the bird on the table, suddenly, she felt his presence. She had imagined it so many times over the last few days, that when she turned, she thought it was a ghost, and not really him.
But it was him. She drank in the sight of him, from his smooth dark hair and soulful green-blue eyes, to his broad shoulders that she had been longing to lean on, to his simple solid presence that had always been a comfort to her. He was home. Clark had returned.
She ran to him, desperate to feel him in her arms once more, a sigh of relief on her lips as she pulled him closer. “I knew you’d make it.”
“I told you I would.”
She wasn’t sure if she meant that he’d make it back from the Zone or back in time for the wedding. But it didn’t matter. He was here. She could feel him, embrace him, breathe him in and know he was safe.
Home.
Clark pulled out of the embrace, looking around the apartment. “But what happened to taking the time to merge our lives together? Finding the right place for everything?” he said lightly.
He just didn’t know what she had gone through… Unpacking had been the only thing that kept her sane, that kept her believing that he would return.
She tried to be flippant about it, now that her concerns seemed inconsequential, now that he was back. “Oh, um, waiting has never been my strong suit. I guess nervous energy equals power in unpacking?” she said anxiously, wondering if he’d see through her light banter to the painful process their separation had been.
“What did you do? Enlist John Jones and Bart?” Clark said with a warm laugh, teasing her in that way that she had so missed. “There’s no way you could have—“ he suddenly stopped as he really looked around, his face becoming serious as he saw the truth of his absence in her eyes. “How long were we gone?”
Lois felt the tears well up again, recalling every moment, every agonizing glimmer of hope and shadow of sorrow of the last three weeks. The endless nights at Watchtower, and the unbearable days without him at the Planet. “Three weeks,” she said weakly.
Clark shook his head, incredulous. “We were only in there a few hours. The crystal—crushing it must have altered time,” he conjectured. His eyes met hers, and she thought he knew, he could feel what she had gone through. “So a few hours for me was almost a month for you,” he said gently, beginning to understand.
Lois nodded, unable to trust herself to speak.
His voice was full of admiration and love. “You waited all that time.”
“Well the League decided that it wasn’t safe to send any more people in after you, so Tess and I took turns, camping out at Watchtower, trying to reestablish contact with you and Oliver,” she explained.
She saw him glance at her Whitesnake pillow and she felt a little embarrassed. “I uh, brought the pillow with me for down time, cause, uh well-- it reminds me of you now. Silly, huh?”
“After three hours, Tess was supposed to—“
“Blow up the gate,” Lois whispered, unable to hold back her tears any longer. “Yeah. Tess and I had a little unexpected heart to heart about your secret plan. I brought her round to seeing things my way,” she said quietly, remembering her desperation in those moments. She remembered too how hurt she had been to learn that Clark hadn’t trusted her with his plan. “I just—I wish you could have had a little faith in me, too.“
“Lois, I didn’t want you to have to make that kind of choice. I was trying to—“
“Protect me?” she said brokenly, choked by tears. She understood his deep-seeded need to protect her, but could he see the cost of that when he took it too far? Did he know that his protection had nearly killed her, as she had agonized over every second he had been gone? She had to make him understand. “I know. But you're part of me now, Clark. Half of a whole. So in the future, if there's even a chance that the mission might claim my better half, sign me up,” she said simply and bravely. “Because I'd rather be in some sand-blown purgatory than in the hell of not knowing if I'll ever see you again.”
He reached for her, gently offering her comfort with his hand on her shoulder. “Lois, I’m so sorry. I try to make choices using my human side, but sometimes my Kryptonian side takes over. I try to control the situation,” he explained. “Instead of hiding that side, I should try to help you understand it.”
The tears and the pain were still there. She thought of Jor-El and Clark’s destiny, and she wondered if she would always be a secondary consideration.
“Clark, I need to know that you trust me. I can’t be left behind like that again.”
He pulled her into his embrace, “Lois, I’m sorry. You’re right. We are a team, two halves of a whole now. I trust you to know things about me that I can’t always see – and you can’t always know those things if I hide the truth from you. I promise to always tell you the situation, Lois, to always include you in my plans.”
Lois smiled, relieved that he at last understood and that he was finally returned to her. Now, they could look safely towards the future. “Promise to put that in your wedding vows?”
“The wedding,” he echoed, realizing how much time really had passed.
“Yeah, t-minus two days, Smallville,” she whispered, barely getting out his nickname as she choked on the feelings in her heart.
“You didn’t postpone it,” Clark said in surprise.
“No,” she answered, reaching to cup his face in her hands. “I couldn’t,” she said fiercely, knowing how close she had come to doubting he’d return, and yet still always holding firm. “Believing that you would come back to me was the only thing that kept me going. But if you want to postpone--- it’s fine,” she offered generously, as just having him back was enough.
His hand came up to caress her cheek, “Lois, there’s nothing in this world that can prevent me from walking down that aisle. “
She smiled and he pulled her into a hug, holding her in that perfect embrace of his as she let the tears fall freely on his shoulder, taking comfort in being in his embrace once more.
But it wasn’t enough. She needed him. She needed to be as close as she could be to him, to make up for the lost time and hell of having him lost in that Phantom Zone.
When her tears subsided, she pulled slightly back from his embrace to look in his eyes. She caressed his beloved face, eventually whispering, “I missed you.”
“Lois, knowing that you were waiting for me, even through those few hours, helped get me through. If I had known how long—“ he swallowed, his jaw clenched with emotion. “I’m so sorry to have done that to you.”
“Well, maybe it’s time we kiss and made up?” she said softly, her hand resting on his chest as she looked up at him through her lashes.
Clark gently lifted her chin, his eyes meeting hers. “We’ve got the rest of our lives to do just that,” he said sweetly, leaning in at last to kiss her.
Her arms wrapped around his neck, and he suddenly lifted her in his arms.
“Welcome home,” she whispered, relishing the feel of his muscled arms around her back and legs, the sensation of being cradled to his chest.
“I am home. You’re my home, Lois,” he said sincerely, his voice gruff with emotion.
He carried her into their bedroom, that she had so carefully and lovingly decorated. As they turned the corner, she spotted Old Blue, her symbol of hope, and she smiled.
She had believed.
Through it all, through the doubts and the uncertainties, she had believed he’d find his way back to her, and he had.
She would never give up on Clark, just as he’d never give up on her.
Like her mother, she proved that she too could be a hero’s wife.
Her soldier was home.
~The End~
Last edited by mozartmaid; 05/02/14 02:19 PM.
