The cool air woke Lois first. She was cradled in his arms, and the whisper of a breeze ran through her hair. She shivered, still feeling the coldness of the ice palace, but his warmth was close to her, and she snuggled deeper. If this was a dream, she didn’t want to wake from it.
Her adventures to the future had all been touched by surreal ephemeral, moments that could only be experienced in her memory. But now, she was really in his arms, could feel the strength of them around her back, could hear the comforting thud of his heart, could feel the cool leather of his jacket. These were all tangible realities, a coming together of the closeness she had felt with him in those other times, hidden in a mist of her memories.
As she stirred awake, she became more aware, seeing the wind blow through his hair, the moon shining on his skin, making him look almost like alabaster marble. She sat up slightly in his arms, and his eyes met hers, shining blue.
“Clark, you’re flying!” she said in whispered awe, surprising him a bit as she clutched tighter to him, not in fear, but in a half-hug. “I knew you could…” she said breathlessly.
He watched her breathless excitement in puzzlement, as all of this was completely new to him, yet she seemed like she had known he had this ability within him. For Clark, flying had been the final barrier to becoming the hero Jor-El had told him was his destiny. How ironic that defying Jor-El and choosing Lois had been the final piece of the puzzle. He realized with chilling amazement, that he actually did have the power within him all along.
So many questions hung in Clark’s mind, suspended like the stars around them. How long had she known the truth about him? And why had she been afraid to tell him that she knew?
But deep down, he knew why she hadn’t told him. His own fears and doubts had unintentionally pushed her away. She had probably been terrified to tell him what she knew, afraid that he would run from her.
And even now, as she looked up at him with such trust and understanding, he knew that she was waiting for him to tell her the words first. Even now, she was as patient as Job, a seeming contradiction in Lois that was also the very essence of her; she waited when it mattered, just as she rushed in when it mattered. And with affairs of the heart, he knew, Lois would wait forever—only, she wouldn’t have to.
It was time for the truth at last.
~\S/~
They landed a short time later at the Kent farmhouse. Lois was still a bit shivery, and not speaking, they entered the farmhouse, still wrapped in the spell of Clark’s first flight. Clark immediately began making her a cup of tea to help warm her up, barely taking his eyes off her, just as she refused to notice anything else in the room but him as well.
Lois eventually sat down on the living room sofa, waiting until Clark came over. He made a quick fire using his heat vision, which Lois simply acknowledged with a glance, her eyebrow lifting as if to say, ‘impressive… but first we need to talk.’
Clark sighed heavily, but not unhappily—simply resigned. He had gone through these explanations before, even sometimes with Lois in alternate times or places, but inevitably something would always go wrong or get changed, and they’d end back up at square one. As he looked at her, he realized each of those times had been rehearsal for this, the big moment—the moment that he would never take back, and finally, knew he’d never want to. And suddenly, he wasn’t nervous anymore. Because Lois had always accepted him—no matter what. He knew this time would be no different.
Clark wrapped a blanket around her shoulders and handed Lois a cup of tea. “Thanks,” she smiled at him, a bit shyly.
He almost sat opposite of her in his father’s old armchair, thinking she needed some space from him, but seeing her eyes sparkle in the firelight, knowing what this moment would mean to both of them, he chose instead to sit right next to her.
He was relieved to see a welcoming smile in her eyes. It gave him the courage to find his way to her, carefully reaching for her hand, gently brushing the hair out of her eyes, as he thought about how to begin. “Lois,” he said at last, softly. “How long have you known?”
Unexpectedly, she shook her head, biting her lip, and looked down at the mug in her hands. “You first,” she whispered, glancing up, and he caught the sheen of tears in her eyes.
He breathed in and nodded, “I suppose that’s fair…” he murmured, but then met her eyes. “ Lois—I’m the Blur,” he said formally and simply, letting go the gust of air in his lungs, almost knocking out the fire.
Lois laughed nervously, indicating the fireplace. “Well, I guess that proves it… if the flight over Canada hadn’t…”
Her attempt at a joke didn’t work to lighten the moment, though. She still seemed uncertain, afraid to express what she knew and how. Clark took her hands in his, setting aside her cup of tea; his hands warming her instead of the steaming cup. “Lois, I’ve wanted to tell you for so long… I—just didn’t know how. And when you started talking to the Blur—“ she gave him a measured look, and he acquiesced, “—to me, as the Blur---well, I just wanted to protect you.”
“Smallville, you may have wanted to protect me physically, but you don’t know what havoc you wreaked on my heart. I was so torn—“ she looked down at his hands, and semi-consciously she started tracing his palms, half-thinking of the many times those very hands had saved her.
“But—it doesn’t matter now, Clark. What matters is that you’ve told me the truth. That’s all I’ve ever wanted---“
He stopped her just then, his hand leaving her grasp to gently stroke her chin with his thumb as he urged her to look at him, her eyes twinkling in the fire’s glow. “Is it all you’ve ever wanted, really? Was there ever—a part of you that wanted—“ he swallowed, seeing her uncertainty, a fragile side of Lois that was so rare and ever so compelling. He wondered if her eyes were mirrors of his own. Yet, he never doubted that Lois could see into the very heart of him. If he could see her fears, he was certain she could see his. “Was there ever a part of you that just wanted—me?” he finally asked, the last word barely above a whisper.
She reached out, cupping his face in both her hands, gentle as birds’ wings as she moved closer to him. “Smallville,” she said with deep affection, “I think I always wanted you. I just didn’t know how to ask.”
“Lois,” he said, caressing her name as he spoke it.
Without thinking, without questioning, like two magnets seeking home, they kissed. Her mouth parted, allowing him to taste her, to feel her. Their kiss seemed to erase all their fears, their insecurities as a new bond was forged between them. Affection and love surged through Clark, and he suddenly couldn’t get enough of her. Somehow, she moved onto his lap. Her skin was still cool from her time in the Fortress, but he soothed every exposed inch, caressing her arm, kissing her neck.
Holding Lois to him felt perfect, right. There was only warmth and gentle pleasure. He was in awe her smile, thrilled at the touch of her hands on his chest. His secret was now her secret, and he knew she’d keep it well.
~\S/~
Lois marveled at the man before her, holding her in the simple glow of truth. He trusted her with his heart, and she wanted to return the gift.
“Clark,” she said in the still darkness, the fire the only light in the room.
“What is it?” he asked, his voice mellifluous with happiness.
“I went to see Jor-El because I had questions about you—about us. Grant it, I stumbled upon him and his ice palace,” she sighed. “But I went back the second time to try and understand.”
“What do you want to know, Lois? I can say honestly for the first time, that for you, my life is an open book.”
“Jor-El said I needed to understand what you go through… He gave me a gift. It’s gone now—“ she hastily added, as she glanced over her shoulder at Clark’s worried expression behind her. She sighed, “He gave me the gift of reading people’s thoughts.”
She almost could hear Clark swallow his nervousness. Instead, he cleared his throat slightly, “And you had this gift at dinner, right?” he asked softly.
She nodded, knowing he could feel her answer against his chest. “Jor-El was right. I did learn so much about you—how brave and wonderful you are. But also, how you have to make life and death decisions every day. I don’t know how you do it, Smallville… You know, I always knew you had a big heart,” she said, turning slightly in his embrace to lay her hand gently on his chest. “But I just didn’t know how strong it was,” she said, leaning up to kiss him again.
She settled back on his chest, each listening to the steady rhythm of their breaths. Lois thought for a long moment, wanting to share with him something of the future that she had seen—but she didn’t know how prudent it would be to give it all away. Still, something in her prodded her to continue.
“You know, tonight when you flew?” she whispered.
“I flew because of you, Lois.”
“I know,” she said warmly, a smile in her voice. “It wasn’t my first time flying in your arms,” she admitted, even sounding a little guilty.
“Really?” Clark asked, startled.
“I flew in your arms in the future, Clark…” she said dreamily, thinking of Superman.
“What did you see of the future, Lois?” he asked, and she could hear a little desperation in his voice to know about that far-off time, that taunted him and compelled him at once.
“You won’t always be the Blur, Clark. He’s just one guise, one step to becoming the hero that the world needs. I’ve seen the hero you become… I’ve seen him in the future,” she leaned up again to look at him, “and I see him in you—every day.”
She could perceive the pensive worry on his face, the fear that he would never live up to that great distant hero, whoever he was. Lois laid her hand on his cheek, trying to soothe his concerns.
“Clark, you don’t need to worry. You will become the hero that Jor-El trained you to be and that you strive every day to become,” she said, her voice full of gentle conviction. But noticing his doubts still lingered, she moved a little closer, her eyes meeting his fully. “And you won’t do it alone.”
He was quiet a moment, and then smiled up at her, a boyish, charming smile that always caught her off guard. “I feel like I can do anything when you look at me like that. You always seem to rescue me, one way or another, when I feel the most uncertain.”
She smiled in return, and snuggled closer to him, as they settled into the sofa to sleep. “That’s what I’m here for, Smallville. One save at a time.”
